A/N: The man stood up and staggered into the clearing bearing the remnants of his foe is his bloodied hand. He threw the remains before the assembled group and collapsed into a heap, his task complete. In turn, each stepped forward and witnessed the tattered pages before them …
The Growing Darkness & the Fading Light
Chapter 8
Harry welcomed the growing light as he emerged from the fading darkness of the dungeons. The drumming in his head was receding and outside that shadowed subterranean existence, he could choke down the bile fueling the flames of hatred Snape always inspired.
The sweet summer wind rushed through the covered walkways, bringing with it a bittersweet dose of guilt at the knowledge of Snape's condition in the bowels of the castle. Harry was simultaneously grateful for the humanity of the notion and hating himself all the same for sympathetic thought. A mental debate began as he compelled himself into a jog, taking the shortest possible route to the headmaster's office.
His thoughts churned as he rushed along the myriad passageways. After all the years of humiliation and hostility from the Potions Master, hadn't some measure of justice finally been served? Hadn't Snape finally gotten everything he deserved?
Let the fucker rot.
The instinct danced alongside the guilt of prolonging a wounded man's suffering.
Let the fucker rot and die.
Wasn't Snape partially responsible for killing Sirius? In not setting aside his disdain for Harry's father, hadn't he sabotaged Harry's best efforts at Occlumency?
The crows could be reanimated…
Snape's face danced across Harry's mind, bearing the shock of comprehension as the caws of the first transfigured stones reverberated off the pillars. The Potions Master's eyes were wide and unseeing as horror mixed with disbelief etched themselves onto his features.
Harry slowed to a stop as he entered the hallway leading to Dumbledore's office.
Return and finish it. Be rid of the man forever.
Harry looked over his shoulder recalling the visions induced by Snape's spell and the nightmares he knew would renew themselves later that night as a result. How much pain was too much? How much misery could one man impart on another before a violent reaction was justified?
"No," Harry said aloud. "I'm better than that. I'm better than him."
With renewed determination, Harry dashed down the hall, breaking stride only to deal with the gargoyle obstructing his access to the headmaster's chambers. A moment later he was bursting through the solid oak door and calling for Dumbledore.
The headmaster was reclining thoughtfully in his chair behind the vast mahogany desk cluttered with texts, parchment, and some muggle newspapers.
"Headmas-"
Professor Dumbledore held up his hand to stay any further speech from Harry.
"Madam Pomphrey is on her way to the dungeons to assist Professor Snape."
Harry's jaw hung limply in the air, seeking the clarity of mind to form questions that provide him with a means to explain how the headmaster could have divined the circumstances for Harry's abrupt arrival.
Dumbledore gestured to one of the chairs opposite him.
"Sit down, Harry. I would like to discuss your progress in your Dark Arts lessons.
Clarity of thought was something that Harry now possessed in abundant quantities. He immediately went on the defensive.
"Everything's fine," he answered shortly, ignoring the offered seat. "I'm doing quite well, I should think."
"So it seems."
Harry couldn't help himself; he gave a small laugh and walked to the window. The sky was cloudless and bright, bringing a comfortable warmth to the castle grounds. Near the edge of the lake, he could see the tree that he and Hermione had eaten dinner under on what seemed like ages ago. Dumbledore was talking again and Harry knew where the headmaster was going with his inquiry, but he already knew what the solution was. He needed Hermione. He needed to hear her voice, see her smile, feel her touch against his skin. He needed her stability. He needed her love to balance out the hate. In the end, she was the only one that could hold him to the tightrope he was walking. In the end, she was the only thing that mattered.
"Come sit down, Harry. I think we should begin our Occlumency lesson a little earlier today. Perhaps we can speak more afterwards."
Harry responded with a heavy sigh and a shake of his head, but fell into the chair across from the headmaster, immediately closing his eyes. Neither spoke as Harry began the ritual of mental purification and rhythmic breathing that had become a fixture at the beginning of each Occlumency lesson.
Harry compartmentalized and set aside his warring emotions over Snape's wellbeing for another time as he allowed the last tendrils of thought to slip away, leaving room for him to observe the percussion of his heart. He had but a few moments to witness his heartbeat in isolation became obvious that it was shadowed by another
"I can sense you now," Harry said lazily. This skill had become automatic over the last week and required little effort from Harry.
"You are mistaken, Harry. Are you certain of what you felt?"
Harry opened his eyes are saw the concerned gaze of the headmaster searching his face, looking for…something. The phantom heartbeat remained, diminished only by Harry's lack of focus.
"Could it still be Snape?" Harry ventured. "He tried using Leglimency during our duel."
Dumbledore rose wearily and began pacing the office.
"I think that is very unlikely, Harry. I have given Professor Snape strict instructions that he is not, under any
circumstances, to interact with you other than for the purposes of instruction in the Dark Arts."
The headmaster stopped mid step and returned to studying Harry's features. Harry sat in silence, his mind working furiously to put the pieces together, but coming up short. He ventured a glance at the headmaster and saw Dumbledore's eyes flick to his forehead. Harry's breathing quickened and his eyes met the elder wizard's as understanding passed between them.
Harry looked away. "Voldemort," he said without preamble.
"I'm afraid it is the only possibility remaining, Harry. Something about that scar has linked the two of you in more ways than one."
"So he's…always watching?"
"Perhaps, Lord Voldemort is a phenomenally capable wizard and could have the presence of mind to monitor your activities continuously while still attending to his own pursuits at hand. It is a monumentally difficult task to accomplish and I suspect, given his other activities, that he only ventures into your mind when he feels the need. In the least, that he always has that option."
Dumbledore took his seat again and both wizards sat contemplating this new bit of information for many minutes before Harry broke the silence.
"He could use it as a weapon, couldn't he?"
The headmaster met his gaze, but didn't respond. He just stared at Harry with eyes that confirmed Harry's suspicion.
"You had said before that the mental link between a Leglimens and their target could prove dangerous to the target."
"You are correct, Harry. Using a method similar to the one Professor Snape employed with you, a Leglimens could indeed push beyond the higher level thoughts and remembrances to the subconscious thoughts regulating the target's biology. That is to say, Voldemort could not only force you to relive your worst memories, he could also force your mind to cease the automatic functions of your body. He could interfere with your breathing or heartbeat. Given enough time, he could even deny the hunger reflex from reaching your brain. Over the course of weeks he could starve you, if he wished. If he discovers this knowledge, Harry, he is limited only by his imagination."
Harry shifted in his seat and let an uneasy sigh escape. Where did it end?
Professor Dumbledore leaned forward onto his desk again, placing his glasses on top of some parchment to his side.
"Understand this first, Harry. Voldemort isn't anymore aware of this ability than we are, but we must protect this knowledge. I expect that Voldemort has not fully realized the depth of the connection between you two. It appears that he has not made the full connection between Leglimency and your scar. We will need to adjust your summer studies for a while in order to devote more time to your Occlumency. If we can accelerate your abilities here, we will be able to undermine any attempts Voldemort might make to use this ability against you."
Harry was still reeling from the magnitude of harm that Voldemort could inflict on him, but managed to slip in a single coherent thought.
"Does it work both ways?"
The words gained strength as he spoke them. In the hushed silence that followed his pronouncement, he grew bolder. Dumbledore, for his part, reclined back into his chair, steeping his fingers as he turned the option over in his head.
Harry didn't know how, but he was suddenly on his feet again, leaning heavily on the headmaster desk. His gaze was hard as he willed the headmaster to meet his stare.
"It does. I know it does," he said firmly. There was no compromise in his voice. He knew the answer the moment he had posed the question.
Professor Dumbledore turned and looked on Harry with a mixture of admiration and sadness.
"To do what you suggest, Harry, would be to wage a battle of wills against Voldemort. A mental struggle in which Voldemort has all the advantages: he is older and more experienced, you would be attempting to push into the one place where he is undoubtedly strongest."
"But it could be done?" Harry asked feverishly. "I could do the same to him."
"Yes, Harry. It could be done. But you must understand one thing before you begin to consider this, Voldemort is my equal when it comes to Occlumency and Leglimency. I myself taught him this ability and have met no other wizard or witch that holds as much skill in these branches of magic."
Harry took in all the headmaster's words and recognized the truth of them, accepting the logic that it would be a miracle if he could accomplish that feat. And still…and still, some not so small part of him believed he could do it.
* * * * *
"Christ, Ron!"
"Oh shut up, Harry!"
Harry didn't bother hiding his smirk. He was beginning to appreciate the fun Ron got out of working up Hermione. Besides, he had incentive to keep Ron focused on Quidditch. If he didn't bring up Hermione, he might save himself from a not so friendly reunion.
"Well, you were the one that was all hot and bothered to get onto the Quidditch pitch straight away and here you are making a mockery of yourself."
"Oi! Cut a bloke some slack, eh," Ron snapped as he brushed the loose blades of grass from his faded Cannons robes. "I've not been on a broom in ages."
Harry decided to let the challenge die as Ron remounted his broom and flew off to retrieve the Quaffle, leaving Harry to his own thoughts for the first time since Ron had arrived. Despite the fun he was having at Ron's expense, Harry was relieved for a break in conversation. Since Ron had unexpectedly flooed into the Gryffindor common room this morning, it had been a nonstop of talk about the upcoming Quidditch season or speculation over who would be replacing Umbridge. And then there was the difficult dance they performed whenever there discussion turned towards anything involving Hermione.
Harry tried to pretend that all was normal whenever Ron mentioned her, but he often struggled to steer the conversation to safe waters. Part of him suspected that Ron was aware of something being amiss and he seemed to be trying to trap him with little tidbits of conversation. It was a chess match between them and Ron played this mental version as well as he played the physical game.
Of course, Harry had his trump card. Ron was always willing to hear about Harry's lessons with Snape. And while they were unpleasant at best, to recount, the notion of Harry "kicking the greasy git's ass," as Ron phrased it, reduced Ron to childish giggles and destroyed any line of thought he had previously had on cornering Harry about Hermione.
Each time Harry recalled his last encounter with the Potions Master, it brought a fresh twinge of guilt for Harry. Snape was fully recovered now, but elected to let class pass for a couple of days. Harry was certain that Professor Dumbledore had stepped in as a referee of sorts and asked Snape to delay further lessons so that the air could clear a bit between the Harry and the "greasy git."
Ron was calling his name now and Harry was forced from his musings.
"Yeah, Ron?" he yelled back.
"You ready for dinner?"
Harry glanced towards the sun and estimated it was approaching six.
Right on time, Harry thought with a small smile.
"You go ahead," Harry called. "I'm gonna release the snitch and get some work in myself."
"D'you want me to wait?" Ron answered, although Harry could tell he was just being polite and laughed at Ron's feeble attempts at sincerity.
"No. Go ahead. Just make sure there's something left for me, all right?"
Ron waved and began flying back to the castle. Harry pretended to retrieve the snitch and even did a few practice dives to keep up appearances. Once he was certain Ron was all the way back to the castle and likely filling his plate, Harry dashed down to the stands and whipped his mirror from his pocket.
"Hermione." Harry ventured.
Several moments passed and Harry was afraid she wouldn't be able to answer. With her muggle relatives visiting, it was difficult to find time together.
"Hermione," he tried a little more forcefully this time.
The mirror clouded over for a moment before clearing to see Hermione smiling back at him.
"It's been too long," she said warmly.
Harry nodded his agreement.
"I've missed you too."
"How are your lessons going?"
Leave it to Hermione to get right to the hard part of a conversation.
"Did I mention that Ron's here?" Harry tested lamely.
"Oh," she said anxiously, "what are you going to- wait a minute!" Damn. "We'll get to Ron later. Why are you trying to change the subject? What happened with Snape?"
Harry tried to look affronted.
"How did you know it was Snape?"
"Honestly, Harry," she said, raising her eyebrows, "could it be anyone else? It's not like there are a whole lot of other options for you to blame it on at the school."
Harry paused for a moment and closed his eyes, searching. Voldemort was still there, but his attention was elsewhere. Harry couldn't say why or where it was, but there seemed to be something hidden amongst the palpitations and he knew…he just knew Voldemort was otherwise engaged.
Opening his eyes, he saw Hermione studying him and decided to take her lead, he needed more time with that nugget of information before he was ready to discuss it.
"Snape was injured during one of our sessions."
Hermione's face was impassive for several moments as she digested this, but soon a furrowed as she thought on it more.
"How?"
The bluntness of the question took Harry off guard.
"He's fine, Hermione," Harry said quickly. "Madam Pomphrey has been to see him and he is fully recovered."
"What spells did you use?"
Another direct question.
"Only one Dark Arts spell. Other than that I created a-"
"Which spell?"
Another.
Harry sighed and looked away from the mirror. This was not the mushy, romantic conversation he'd imagined.
"I used the Letum Alutus curse. It was something I stumbled across when doing another assignment."
Hermione's face disappeared from the mirror for a moment and Harry heard a sound that he knew far too well. Hermione was making a note of the spell.
Her face reappeared and was clouded with concern. Fortunately, Hermione seemed to have set aside the Dark Arts issue. Unfortunately, she latched onto yet another difficult topic.
"What are you going to tell Ron?"
"I dunno," Harry said heavily. "I need your help in this. He's here for the rest of the weekend and I don't know if I can manage without you. There's only so much Quidditch and Umbridge hate one guy can handle."
Hermione laughed.
"What?"
"I'd have never expected to hear you sick of talking Quidditch. You and Ron go on for hours about it."
"I know, but I've never had anything to hide before."
"Then don't hide it, Harry. Just tell him as gently as possible and we'll deal with the fallout."
"I'd rather we did this together."
"Well, that's a little difficult under the circumstances?"
"Yeah, but-"
"And we can't drop this on him once school starts again. He'd never get over it if we dated all summer without telling him."
"I know that, but how-"
"Just pull him aside, tell him you have something important to say and then say it."
"That's all well and good, Hermione, but-"
"You'll do fine, Harry."
And with that, dealing with Ron fell squarely into Harry's lap. Hermione went onto talk about her family visiting and how she and Tonks would have conversations late into the night when Tonks was on duty watching her. Harry tried to follow along, but couldn't seem to move beyond the issue of talking with Ron. In the back of his mind, was a whirlwind of thoughts that wouldn't go away. Until one comment of Hermione's separated itself from the others.
"…and Tonks said she would take me to Diagon Alley next week to buy-"
"Wait!" Harry interrupted excitedly. "What day?"
"Well, we haven't decided yet." Hermione explained. "I was thinking of going on Wednesday or Thursday."
"Can you go no Monday?"
"I don't know what Tonks' schedule is, but I suppose if she's available and willing."
"Try to make it happen, okay?" Harry pushed.
"Why Harry, I don't understand what it matters."
"Mr. Weasley and Dumbledore are taking me to the Ministry on Monday afternoon. I think I can get them to let me swing by Diagon Alley afterwards. We could meet up there and maybe get a few hours together."
Hermione's face lit up with excitement, but her ever rational mind would not be restrained.
"Do you think Dumbledore would allow it?"
"I don't see why not," Harry challenged. "Considering how heavy things have been lately, I think I deserve a quiet evening in Diagon Alley. If you just happen to be there too, then `Whoa! What an amazing coincidence!'"
Harry's feigned surprise didn't go over as well as he'd hoped. Hermione remained skeptical.
"I suppose, but we can't get caught Harry. Professor Dumbledore's whole point in separating us was to keep Voldemort unaware of what's going on."
"I know that," Harry answered, getting frustrated with the headmaster again, "but, I need to see you. This whole mirror thing isn't enough. Even though I can see and hear you, you're still too far away. And now I can tell when Voldemort is watching. Professor Dumbledore and I had a breakthrough with my Occlumency the other day. I can sense when his attention is on me."
"That's wonderful, Harry!" Hermione said from behind a wide smile. "I knew you could do it."
A moment passed with Harry basking in the glow of Hermione's admiration. It warmed his heart to see her smile at him in that way. If nothing else, he was willing to become a proficient Occlumens just to see her look at him that way again.
"So, can you block him out now too?"
"Not yet," Harry answered, looking towards the pitch. "We're just moving into the defense aspect of Occlumency now. So far, we've just been focusing on detection."
Hermione's smile faded a bit and Harry resolved to work harder.
"It's coming, though," he added, thinking of his discussion with Dumbledore. "I think I've found a technique to push him out of my mind. I just need practice."
Their conversation drifted to trivial things before Harry took note of the sun and recalled that Ron was likely well beyond done eating and would be looking for him soon.
"I'm sorry, Hermione, but Ron should be done soon. I'd better get back."
"I understand, Harry. My family is leaving tomorrow morning so I should have a lot more free time after that. Can we talk again then?"
Harry nodded. "I'll try to get away from Ron for a while."
"Handy, those."
Harry started at Ron's voice and quickly stuffed the mirror into his pocket. He could still hear Hermione's muffled voice questioning what was happening.
Ron's voice was hard as he spoke from several rows up.
"You should say good-bye to your girlfriend, Harry. I doubt she'll appreciate you stuffing her in your pocket like that."
A/N: I am so sorry this took so long to get out. I struggled with exactly how I wanted to introduce Ron into the story and realized that I should've done so via a letter a couple chapters back. I had the first section of this chapter written for a couple weeks, before managed to figure out the stark transition you've read here.
Thanks for reading and to everyone who hasn't cast me to the four winds with taking so long on these last few chapters. As always, I appreciate those that have reviewed in the past and look forward to comments of any kind. You CAN'T upset me so please tell me exactly what you think. Cheers!
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