Author's Note: You know, feeling a bit generous, I've decided to give you all a surprise epilogue not intended to be put originally with the one-shot. So here you all go.
Disclaimer (meaning `get me out of trouble so I won't pay money'): The characters mentioned in this story are not of my creation. Harry Potter and co. belong to the creative mastermind that we know as J. K. Rowling. Gordon Devereaux is the property of Amynoelle and Heaven's story "Time of Their Life," and Lord Volda-Prima-Dona is a created character out of the Snitch's fanfiction story "Night of the Living Fanfic." Only the plot belongs to me.
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The Play That Killed by Lavender Brown
Having myself been a member of the final battle at the ground of Hogwarts, I was at first surprised to see someone make a play about the said event. Even more surprising was the fact that the play was written by former classmate and house-mate, Harry Potter, known to many of you as The-Boy-Who-Lived and The-Wizard-Who-Killed-He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named (man, you people need to call him by his real name, because all those dashes really look annoying). But I have to say, that after watching the production with Laurence Oliver as Harry and hunky import Gordon Devereaux as the hilarious Lord Voldemort (wow, bet you never thought you'd see the word hilarious in front of his name, did you?), Harry masterfully put together something for the wizarding world to use as a catharsis.
We started off with the "Golden Trio," as Harry refers to them, preparing for the last week of school before Graduation. I myself will never forget the night they disappeared. As the three were sitting around in the common room, listening to the noise and hustle of all the other years nervously pacing about to find out their test results, the three were simply laying on our plush sofa, lounging back even though I could tell they were discussing something serious. Suddenly a hand shot out of the fire, grabbed Hermione, and the three held to each other before she disappeared. We later learned that the hand was a complicated enchanted hand that was sent via floo powder to act as a portkey.
From here, Harry takes things for an interesting ride. For example, when they arrive, they are greeted by a shocked Lucius and Bellatrix, played by Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson respectively. The two were in the middle of changing for something according to the orders from Voldemort, when the Trio arrived inside their dressing room. You might think that Death Eaters would torture the Trio using Unforgivables, but not in Harry's play. No, they were tortured by off-key singing of show-tunes and an apparent "strip tease" by Lucius, which would more than likely have been the most horrible thing to see, had not Voldemort appeared.
In this rare performance side of Mr. Devereaux, we saw him as Voldemort acting like a silly and swarthy girl, even telling off Bellatrix for having a larger mirror than him and Lucius for having too much glitter to distract his spotlight. Of course, Harry does add a touch of realism when he has Voldemort "kill" one of the critics of his performance. Then Harry uses Voldemort, Lucius, and Bellatrix to sing the song "I Put A Spell On You" from the muggle film Hocus Pocus, eventually ending Voldemort by criticizing him so harshly along with the trio that he turns into dust along with the other followers. All in all, there aren't words to describe how utterly hilarious and enjoyable this was. However, the real treat was for us women in the audience after the play had ended.
Harry - showing a side of his charm that no one had seen in Hogwarts - had his characters of Harry and Hermione do a skit where Harry confesses his feelings for Hermione, and in the process the real Harry kissed Hermione in front of everyone. I for one would like to wish the couple on a happy and well deserved relationship.
This has been Lavender Brown, and I'm off to collect my money from Ron.
"Ronald Bilius Weasley!"
Ron flinched the next afternoon, hearing the sound of an extremely irritated and annoyed Hermione coming down the stairs, a copy of the Daily Prophet in her hands. He tucked his head in so low that his neck wasn't visible. Meanwhile, with Hermione came Harry in tow, an amused look on his face.
"You, you… you bet on my love life?!" Ron just held his hands up in the air.
"Not exactly Hermione… you see, we had a bet going on at school started by Lavender, where everyone was betting as to when you two would hook up." After this, Ron started to stand a little straighter as he put on a stern appearance. "And quite frankly, you disappointed me."
"Me, disappoint you?"
"Yeah. You know, I did everything in my power to try and hook you two up before the end of seventh year, and yet for some reason you two were stubborn and persistent enough to not listen to me." Hermione opened her mouth to protest, but Harry quickly swooped in and kissed her, in the process grabbing her as she was falling back. After a long few moments, Harry brought her back up, looking smug while she was disoriented.
"Well um, that is to say… next time, er…" Harry just laughed.
"I think she's trying to tell you thank you in her own way." Hermione simply nodded mutely. Taking her along with him, Harry walked outside the Burrow as he planned to take her with him for a talk. They ended up simply walking around until Harry reached Stoatshead Hill, where they had once gathered to head to the Quidditch World Cup. Harry sat down with his back to the tree, Hermione in front of him. He hugged her from behind before she turned around to face him.
"So Harry, um, when did you first…" "Have feelings?" She nodded.
"It's hard to say when it began. I mean, it certainly had it's foundations in your help during the Triwizard Tournament, it had its cementing when I thought I had lost you in fifth year, but it's hard to really pinpoint a moment when I started loving you." She nodded for a moment, her head underneath his as she lay on top of his chest. She thought for a moment, then raised herself up to look at him.
"What about the whole issue of losing my friendship?" Harry thought for a moment and replied hesitantly "Well… I had put you through worse than dating me, so I figured if you would stand with me even when I was a prat, you would stand with me if things didn't work out." She had a look of mirth in her eyes as she looked at him.
"Oh really? So you just assumed I would be there as your friend Mr. Potter if I had ever had my heart broken by you?" Harry looked like a deer in headlights with his eyes wide open, and she just smiled at him. She patted his cheek and gave him a quick kiss on the lips.
"Don't worry. I don't think you could have ever broken my heart." Harry looked relieved before he continued to hold her in an embrace. Looking tentative for a moment, Harry asked her "So… what did you think of the play?" Hermione looked at him with a smile.
"It had the best `Happily Ever After' for me."
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