All through lunch, Ron kept giving Harry suggestive glances, meaning that he was going to ask Hermione out very soon, probably right then while eating. Harry felt something in his chest contract tightly, as if he were bound with heavy rope. He could not bear to look at either Ron or Hermione.
Finally, he heard Ron clear his throat loudly, which meant that he was about to say or do something of importance. Hermione glanced up at him.
"Your throat all right, Ron?" she asked him, with a worried look on her face.
Harry was not quite successful in stifling his amusement at this, as he let out a great big snort that caused Hermione to give him a worried look, too, as if he were going mad.
Ron scowled at him. "Throat's fine, Herms," he said. "But- er- I do- uh- something- ask- for- you-"
Harry hastily stuffed a rather large jam tart into his mouth as Hermione looked even more puzzled.
"Ron," she said gently, "are you sure you're okay? Maybe all this studying's getting to you, I'm sure Madam Pomf-"
"No, no, I'm fine!" cut in Ron, clearly desperate. He cleared his throat again. "Hermione, uh-uh- um, yeah, well, Hermione- like- um- could I have your hand in marriage?" he burst out.
Harry, sorely unable to contain himself, burst out laughing, along with Dean, Seamus, and Neville, who had also been listening. Ron gave them all a patronizing look before burying his face in his hands.
Hermione was staring at Ron, apparently trying very hard to control her giggles. "What?" she asked, with an incredulous look on her face. "What?"
Ron looked up, his face crimson. The four other boys took one look at him and burst out laughing again, taking long, deep gasps to keep themselves from choking.
Ron ignored them. "Hermione, will you- er- will you- can I- date you?" he finished rather awkwardly.
Hermione stared at him for a long moment, apparently very taken aback by this sudden proposition. For some reason, her eyes met Harry's for a few seconds.
"Erm," she replied awkwardly. "What?"
By now, Ron was wishing he had never been born. "Date- me," he repeated, blushing furiously. "Go out- with me."
There was a long silence, during which Hermione stared at Harry, Ron stared at the ground, and Dean, Neville, Seamus, and Harry all stared at Hermione. Finally, Seamus broke the silence.
"Er," he said, "are- are we just going to sit around st-staring at each other all- all day?"
Hermione glanced at him, then turned to Ron. "Ron," she said gently, "why?"
Harry quickly looked at her. Ron slowly raised his head.
"Why?" he repeated in a flat, expressionless voice. "Why, what?"
"Why- why are you asking me out?" she ventured.
Ron stared, openmouthed, at her. "Because- because- because I love you, dammit!" he sputtered. "Is that such a crime?! And, by the fuckin' way, when I ask a goddamn girl out, does there have to be a goddamn audience?!?!"
Harry knew that Ron was going to go over the edge, and soon. He quickly caught Hermione's eye and nodded, to show that she needed to agree, and now. Hermione shook her head and mouthed, "I can't, Harry, I can't!"
Harry sighed and slowly edged over closer to her. In one swift move, he grabbed her hand and whispered in her ear, "He's going to flip. Say. Yes. Please, if you want us to live."
Hermione slowly closed her eyes, then opened them and nodded. She looked down at Ron, who had gone back to staring at the ground after his little outburst.
"Ron," she said quietly, "okay."
Dean, Neville, and Seamus all started. Harry squeezed Hermione's hand in encouragement. Ron raised his eyes and looked at her. "You- will?" he stammered. "For- real?"
Taking a deep breath and holding on to Harry's hand tighter than ever, Hermione nodded. "Yeah..." she trailed off. "Yeah...."
Ron's look of anger and helplessness instantly changed to one of pure delight and joy. "Oh, Hermione!" he exclaimed in a gleeful voice, and he leaned across the table and kissed her on the lips.
Harry felt Hermione's hand tighten up extremely. Gently, he took his other hand and covered hers with it, stroking it gently. While doing so, he memorized the pattern of her hand. The lines... the curves... the shapes....
Next to him, Hermione had pulled away from Ron and sat, crimson-faced in her seat, staring at the ground. Neville, Dean, and Seamus were hooting. Ron was grinning rather brightly. Harry pasted a fake smile on his face, still caressing Hermione's hand.
"Hey, Herms," said Ron, winking and looking very smug indeed, "what do you say we- uh- go up to my room and- uh- read awhile?"
Hermione gasped. Her hand clenched even tighter around Harry's, who suddenly felt a strong rush of dislike for Ron. Hermione had been their best friend for years, and now Ron was acting as if she were a toy, or some plaything that he had just acquired. He could only just imagine what Ron, in his current state of mind, would do if he and Hermione were left alone together in a room. More than anything else, this thought made Harry want to protect Hermione til the end of the world, or longer.
Near them, Dean, Neville, and Seamus were still hooting and grinning. Ron was also smiling and blushing with pride, expectantly looking at Hermione and waiting for a response. Hermione had taken to staring at the ground and clenching Harry's hand firmly, as if trying to convey that she did not, under any circumstances, want to go with Ron. Harry squeezed her hand in reassurance, then looked up at Ron.
"God, Ron," he said, "you're being awfully dim, mate. We have Potions in ten minutes. Snape'll go ballistic if you guys don't show."
Ron looked thoughtful. "You're right, mate," he said. "Snape will be bloody pissed if we don't go to his damn class. All right, never mind then, lovey. We'll go to my room some other time."
Hermione nodded and tried to appear pouty, but only Harry felt the immense relaxation of her body and the loosening of her grip on his hand.