Just after Potions class, Ron and Hermione disappeared. The Gryffindors said they had seen the pair of them running up the stairs together to the boys' dormitories, but there were some others who were absolutely convinced that they had seen otherwise. Hannah Abbott, from Hufflepuff, was convinced that she had seen Ron furiously snogging Hermione out behind the greenhouses. Terry Boot, on the other hand, insisted that he had glimpsed the pair of them grappling in a love war at the back of the library. The most ridiculous rumor was being spread by Pansy Parkinson, of course, who said that Ron and Hermione were passionately making love in the Forbidden Forest (where else, but the most dangerous of all places at Hogwarts to make love?)
Harry knew most of this was nonsense. He did, however, believe the one about the two of them running up to the boys' dorms, because Seamus, Dean, and Neville had all confirmed it for him. Harry had been in the library at that time, getting a head-start on a nasty Potions chart. He had intended to impress Hermione with his newfound homework skills when he got back to the common room, but had instead arrived to be informed of the fact that she was currently up in Ron's room, doing who-knows-what. Harry's first thought was to run up there and rescue her, but when he heard Seamus, Dean, and Neville's comments on how happy she had looked with Ron, he had decided not to. Instead, he sat with Neville at dinner, talking to him about Quidditch and other random things. Harry was beginning to realize that Neville Longbottom was actually a very interesting person, and that he had one of the best sense of humors Harry had ever seen, considering that Harry had seen a lot, what with all the time he'd spent with Fred and George Weasley over the years.
After dinner, he had retreated to the common room to sit around, do homework, chat with Neville, and worry about Hermione. She had been up there since after Potions class, which had been right after lunch. What in the world were she and Ron doing? They couldn't be- oh, no, they couldn't be doing that! They were so- so- so young! No, that couldn't be it... of course not! Thus sat Harry, wondering and worrying.
"Harry, I command you to stop worrying about Hermione," Neville said, after the tenth time of Harry not responding to what he was saying. "I tell you, she's fine. She looked so happy when she was running up there with Ron; Harry, I guarantee you that if Hermione wanted to leave, she would've left."
"But Neville, what if she's-"
"She's not dead, Harry! Goodness! Stop being so morbid! Why in the world would she be dead?!"
Harry sighed and looked around once more. "I'm just worried about her, Neville," he said. "She's my best friend. I don't want anything to happen to her."
Neville's expression softened. "Harry, I know," he said gently. "But excessively worrying about her is not going to help anything. Besides, Hermione is Ron's girlfriend. It's natural for a new couple to go make out or whatever for a couple of hours. It's normal. I know Hermione's your best friend, but Ron is her boyfriend. Ron and Hermione will do things that you and Hermione would not do. They now share a different bond than you and Hermione do, or you and Ron do. See?"
Harry stared at him. "Do things?" he asked. "What things?!"
Neville rolled his eyes. "Merlin, Harry," he said, "don't tell me you don't know what kind of things Ron and Hermione are going to do."
Harry stared. "No, I don't know," he said. "Tell me."
Neville sighed. "They'll kiss... uh, they'll French kiss... uh, and... maybe something more? Come on, Harry, I have no idea what Ron and Hermione will do. I've only had one girlfriend, myself, and that was for about three days."
Harry recalled the beginning of the year, when Ginny had broken up with Dean to go out with Neville. That certainly hadn't lasted very long, for Ginny and Neville were completely and totally not made for each other, and they had broken up within three days. Ginny had later paired up with Dean again.
Harry sighed in frustration. "But Neville, I'm just so worr- hey!"
Someone had suddenly placed their hands over his eyes, blocking his vision. He started and tried to jerk the hands away, but they persisted. Then, he heard a certain someone's familiar giggles.
"Guess who!" came the unmistakable voice of Hermione.
Harry laughed. "Why, Professor Trelawney, is that you?" he exclaimed in a voice of fake astonishment. "I thought I wasn't supposed to die until June!"
"Oh, but you see, my dear boy, the clairvoyant vibrations will be most severely disturbed if I- er- I mean- the fates allow you to live that long," said Hermione in an excellent impression of Professor Trelawney's mystical tones. "So I must kill you off sooner than I thought. Er, did I say I must kill you off? I meant, the fates, your destiny, will kill you- I mean, no, not the fates... er-"
Harry let out a great snort of laughter.
"My dear!" exclaimed "Professor Trelawney" in a scandalized tone. "You are most disrupting the sacred aura! Kindly do not make light of the- er- Seeable!"
"Right," said Harry. "So... what are you predicting for me today, then?"
"Ahh..." whispered Hermione, her mystical tones reappearing. "Your birthdate... I have carefully calculated the positions of your star and moon, and it has become quite clear, my dear, that you were born in... midwinter."
"No," replied Harry, just as he had done fourth year in that Divination class, "I was born in July."
And with that, he, Hermione, and Neville (who had also been listening) burst out laughing. Even though Hermione hadn't been in that Divination class, Ron and Harry had told her all about it. Hermione came around to the front of Harry and sank into a chair near him.
"Excellent impression, Miss Granger," said Harry, grinning. "And, not to sound like your mother or anything, but where have you been?"
Hermione grinned and passed a hand over her eyes. "Just a mutual comment," she said casually. "Snogging really uses up your energy!"
"What?!" exclaimed Harry, sitting up straight. "What?! Snogging?! Who?! Where?! How?! Why?!"
Hermione looked surprised at this sudden outburst. "Ron, of course," she replied. "My boyfriend, remember?"
Harry stared. From what he'd seen at lunch, Hermione hadn't been in the least bit keen on dating Ron. And now she was snogging with him?"
"Ron?" repeated Harry blankly. "Ron?"
"Harry, Ron is Hermione's boyfriend, you know," put in Neville pointedly.
"I know!" Harry exclaimed. "I just- just- just thought..."
Hermione was looking at him quizzically. "Just thought what, Harry?" she asked.
"Well- uh- you and- uh- Ron..." trailed off Harry.
"Oh, Harry," Hermione sighed. "Ron and I aren't going to stop being friends with you just because we're going out now! Us two will just have a different relationship with each other than with you, of course, but we'd never stop associating with you or anything! Harry, goodness, of course not!"
"But- lunch..." stammered Harry. "Today? When Ron asked you out?"
"Harry," said Hermione gently, "Ron is a great partner. I was just a little surprised, that's all. He's really sweet. I really do like him a lot."
Harry was now just completely and totally overwhelmed. "Hermione-" he croaked. "But-"
Hermione sighed, leaned over, and gave Harry a hug. "Don't worry, Harry," she said, "you'll always be our best friend. Nothing will ever change that, don't you worry!"
Rage overtook Harry. "THAT'S- NOT- WHAT- I- MEANT!!!!!" he burst out. "I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT THAT!!!!!!!! YOU MAY NOT HAVE NOTICED, BUT I WAS TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING DIFFERENT THAN THAT!!!!!!! SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED TODAY!!!!!! SOMETHING REALLY FUNNY IS GOING ON WITH YOU HERMIONE BECAUSE YOU ARE ACTING LIKE SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED TODAY DIDN'T- EVEN- FREAKING- HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
And with that, he jumped from his chair and bolted up the stairs.