Unofficial Portkey Archive

SGR'S NOTE: This chapter contains a dipiction of sex. Nothing too terribly graphic, but still.

"Guess I never had someone like you
To help me fit in my skin
I've never felt like this before
I'm naked around you
Does it show?"
-Naked, Avril Lavinge

Chapter Twenty-Six

The feeling of her parents forgiveness made the healing process of their deaths much easier for Lily. Not to mention the constant vigilance of her worried boyfriend; she wasn't sure if she'd slept in her own bed once since she returned from the funeral. Of course, as NEWTs drew closer, her attention was more and more focused on her studies, and not so much on the hole in her heart. It was this constant strain to do well on these exams that helped Lily pass the weeks more than any other.

James and Sirius, however, naturally brilliant at everything, weren't seen pouring over books or their old notes like the rest of their classmates. They were most often seen laughing in the corner of the Common Room, writing down things that made them laugh harder than others, which gave Lily, unaware of what exactly they were doing, a foreboding feeling.

James had been such a good boy all year, what on Earth was he planning now?

She hoped it wasn't anything too...terrible. He'd been such a role model, she suppose she'd let him get away with a bit of fun at the end of the term, but how far were they going? She assumed Slytherins would be involved, which, as much as she hated it, were going to be a given, as James and Sirius never failed to include those oh-so-lucky innocents in whatever plot they were hatching.

The NEWTs came, and went, with little incident from the two smirking boys. However, there was much incident from some of the other NEWT students, especially Peter, as he had somehow managed to screw something royally up in every exam, that by the final one (Potions), he didn't even show up.

Lily wondered as the clock on the wall ticked away the time until the end of the Potions exam, if something was going to explode. James and Sirius were giving each other knowing looks from other sides of the room. Lily, closer to Sirius than James, hastily scribbled a note and threw it over to him while McGonagall wasn't looking.

What has gotten into the two of you?

Sirius took the note and hid it under his desk, reading it as McGonagall looked over to them. Once she had turned her back again, he wrote back on it and passed it back to Lily.

Wouldn't you like to know....

Lily glared at him and wrote back.

Stop being so cryptic. You aren't going to hurt anyone are you?

Sirius snorted.

No, dear, though those with heart conditions might want to steer clear of the main corridor on the first floor the final day of classes.

Which was how Lily found herself sitting in-doors on the final day of younger-year classes on the first floor corridor. Her foot was tapping nervously on the ground, and she ran through all of the pranks that James and Sirius might pull on the unsuspecting students that walked into the halls. Though she knew in her heart that James would not longer hurt anyone, she brought her wand just in case he got a bad case of behavioral regression and she had to stun him. He was Head Boy no more in less than a week, and she wondered if he had quit early.

The bell rang on the final class and students filed out of the classrooms into the hallway happily. Some let out cheers of extreme happiness, others chattered with smiles of extreme satisfaction on their faces, and still others worried about the outcome of their exams.

Of course, the progressive gasp that was coming from down the hallway caused several students to turn their heads. The Red Sea was parting, along with screams and whoops of delight. Lily stood up, wand ready, and ready to defend whatever she needed to.

Then her wand dropped from her hand, and her entire body went slack; she was only just still standing.

James and Sirius, red in the face from running from one end of the hallway to the other, were approaching her at a fast pace. Completely. Butt. Ass. Naked. Except for their shoes and socks.

Lily continued to stare at them, her eyes dropping more than once to take in the sights, and realized why Sirius had such a large fanbase, among other things. James was nothing new, as she had been brave enough once or twice to cop a feel, but seeing him completely naked was a new sight.

They both paused in front of her, out of breath and sweaty, to kiss her on her cheeks.

"Want to join us, Lily?" James asked, laughter on his face.

"No thanks," she grinned. "But I'd watch out, here comes Filch-"

"Oi!" James laughed, turning to look behind him and taking off once more.

"You two are bloody insane!" Lily laughed that evening, watching the four of them pack to leave the next morning. "What did McGonagall say?"

"Well, she was trying really hard not to laugh," Sirius grinned.

"She was not," Lily shook her head.

"She found it funny, Lily," James nodded. "The way her mouth kept twitching upwards-"

"It does that when she's mad, Baby," Lily reminded him.

"Yes, well, she was trying not to laugh," Sirius sniffed, throwing his robes onto the wrinkled pile of clothes in his trunk.

"How did you come up with that one?" she asked.

"Well, see, Padfoot here wanted to make sure that every girl possible at Hogwarts had seen him, if he had missed any-"

"Hush, it was your idea," Sirius grinned. "Every girl seeing me naked was just a perk for them."

"I did think I saw Gail drooling in your general direction, James," Lily giggled.

"Ug, don't remind me."

"Now!" Sirius said, sitting on his trunk to close it. "Where are our other two children?"

"Probably trying to forget what they saw this afternoon," James said.

"I'm going to go find them, so we can do something together, as our last night together. Wanna come, Prongs?"

"Actually," Lily cleared her throat. "If you don't mind, there was something I wanted to talk to James about..."

"Oh, yeah, no problem," Sirius nodded, smiling at them. "Right, Moony, Wormy, here I come!" He bounded out the door.

James and Lily laughed and James came to sit down next to Lily. "Something you wanted, Baby?"

"Yes," she put her hand on his chest and felt the groves underneath his robes. "I just...I wanted to say thank you."

"Thank you?" James grinned. "For what?"

"For being amazing," Lily sighed. "For just....everything."

"What brought this on?" James asked.

"I've been meaning to talk to you about this for a very long time," Lily sighed. "And...James, I love you."

"Well, I love you too-"

"No," Lily put her hand on his mouth. "I really love you."

James blinked at her and gently removed her hand from his mouth. "Lily-"

"James, I don't know why I'm horrible to you, you don't even deserve me, but I love you, and...and I think its about time that I got over my dumb fears of my own body."

"What are you saying?" James asked, cautious.

"I'm saying...." she took a deep breath. "I'm saying that I want you to make love to me. Tonight."

James blinked at her, not sure what he was hearing. "You want me to what?"

"I want you to make love to me, James," Lily said, shakily. How come it didn't come out more sure the second time?

"Lily, I don't need you to-" She kissed him to quiet him.

"You aren't. This is my choice. My decision. I'm ready." Somehow, the words just didn't seem the same in her head, but she gave him her word. Here went nothing....

"James...James!...JAMES!"

"What is it?" James asked, stopping.

"It's....it's not working..." she admitted, blushing.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not...when we do the...I have a...and it's not happening."

"Well probably because you won't let me kiss you anywhere!" James muttered, unhappily, sitting up. "'No, don't touch me there!' 'No! Don't kiss me there!' I can't get you there unless you let me. You won't even take off your shirt."

"Well, it's not as if it's any easier for me!" she exclaimed.

"I just don't see why, Lily," James sighed. "But if you still aren't ready...we'll stop."

She looked at him and felt tears welling up in her eyes. She felt so bad; he was so good to her and she was so horrible to him. She wanted to be the girl he wanted, but she felt so...Tears began running down her face.

"Don't cry, Lily," James soothed. "It's fine, we can wait longer."

"Why are you so good to me and I'm so shitty to you?"

"This isn't a big deal," James told her. She snorted, knowing full well that he had been aching to make love to her for years. "Ok, maybe it is a little."

She looked up at him and sniffed. "I'm sorry I'm such a prude."

"You aren't a prude," he kissed her cheek.

"Do you mind?" Lily asked.

"No," James sighed, sitting back.

"How about I give you a massage instead, hm?" she asked, helpfully.

James blinked at her. "You mean we've been dating for eleven months and I've never gotten a massage before?"

"You never asked."

"You never offered."

"Come over here then," she grinned, pulling on some boxers and throwing James his. He put them on, unhappily and sat down in front of Lily. She kissed his bare back, and put her hands on top of his shoulders.

He closed his eyes and let out a moan when she started. Though she didn't look like it, she obviously had very powerful hands, as the knots in his back were worked out slowly. He found himself leaning into her movements, letting out groans and sighs when she hit sore spots.

"You're tense," she said, in a sultry sort of voice. "Relax."

"Oi...I am relaxing," he sighed, stretching when she presses her thumbs lower on his back. "You're really good at this." "

I could do it a lot better if you were laying down," she muttered. James complied almost immediately and lay face-down in front of her. Lily climbed on top of him and sat on his butt, leaning over to give attention to his shoulders.

"Baby, that feels really good," he muffled into the bed in front of him. Lily used her knuckles next, causing him to moan low in his chest. He chuckled and turned his head to the side. "I want a massage every day for the next year."

"What makes you think you deserve one," Lily asked, bending down to kiss his shoulder blades.

"James!" he cried, using a high-pitched voice to mimic hers. "James I love you! I really love you!"

"I don't sound like that..." she muttered, trailing kisses up from his back to his neck, her body running the length of him. Her arms slid to rest beside his and her body pressed against his back.

"No, you sound much better," he said, turning his head. "What happened to my massage?"

"Isn't your back enough?"

"My hand is awful cramped from writing lines today-"

She snorted beside him. "You had to write lines?"

"'I will not run naked through the halls.' I think McGonagall had them framed-"

"Poor baby," she said, taking his right hand in hers. "Turn over so I can massage your hands."

Shifting her, James rolled over so that she was laying on top of him. She sat up, straddling his hips and began rubbing her hands through his, to make them feel better. He closed his eyes and sighed, a grin on his face.

Lily kissed his hands and laid down on top of him, playing with his hair. James cocked his head to the side.

"So, tell me, why is it exactly why you aren't ready," he asked.

Lily looked down and felt a blush coming on. "I...I mean..."

"We've been intimate before, Lily," he put his hands on her lower back. "Extremely intimate."

"I know..it's just a very scary three letter word," Lily nuzzled her head under his. "And...before, I never let you...well...see anything."

"Yes, I know," he rolled his eyes. "Do you think you're ugly or something?"

"I dunno...maybe a little," Lily's face was flaming.

James sat up a bit. "Really?"

"I think I'm fat," Lily sat up too.

"You think you're fat?" James sputtered, smiling.

"How would you know, you've never seen me-"

"Can I see, then?" James asked, reaching up and touching her shirt. Lily blushed and lifted up her shirt to expose her stomach. She looked down and immediately put her shirt down, embarrassed.

"No," James shook his head, lifting up her shirt again. Indeed, she did not have the most perfect stomach, in fact, she had a little bit of pudge, but it was Lily and he loved all of her. Leaning forwards, he kissed the little patch of skin above her belly button and looked up at her.

"I don't see what you're so concerned about," James shook his head. "You're beautiful." He slowly pushed her onto her back, and ran his hands along her stomach. "Is this all?"

Lily, given a bit of strength by his admiration of one of her biggest flaws of her body(so she thought), cleared her throat. "My legs are too big, and my...my butt is ugly too."

James' head shot up. "Excuse me? Your bum is beautiful. I spent many a Herbology lesson gazing at it. And whenever you wear shorts..." he whistled. "You're bloody crazy if you think that your legs are anything less than perfect."

"James Potter!" Lily giggled. "You've been staring at me!"

"Of course I have," he slid his body up hers to kiss her gently. "When you've got something as beautiful as you on my arm, I ought to know my territory."

Lily glared at him. "You're being chauvinistic again."

"Oi, about that, what the hell did I say that caused you to be in such a fuss?" James asked.

"Oh, I don't know," Lily sat up a bit. "How about how I would just come back to you whenever I was done with my temper tantrum."

"When did I say that?" James asked, cocking his head to the side. "I said that I knew you would come back because I had faith in you, and in what we have. And because I love you."

Lily blinked. "Oh...well...must have caught the tail-end of that conversation..."

"Apparently."

"Forgive me?" Lily asked.

"Forgiven," James smiled putting his chin on her exposed stomach. "Bloody fat...you're crazy, woman."

"I'm sorry if I sit and compare myself to Emmeline, the bloody stick."

James snorted. "I like my girl with a bit of meat on her," he bit the pudge of her stomach lovingly. "Sides, Emmeline's got no tits."

"And I suppose you've been looking?" Lily played with his hair.

"As my dad told me, a handful is just enough," James smirked. "Or a mouthful."

"James!" Lily exclaimed, mortified.

"What? Not as if we haven't tested that one before-"

"You hush your mouth, pervert," Lily bopped him lightly on the head.

"Can't help it if you bring out the best in me-"

"Best, yeah right," she smirked at him, then she looked down at her own breasts. "So...you really don't think they're that small?"

"Would it matter if they were?" he asked, looking at her as he lifted up her shirt more to expose her bra. "I like them just the way they are."

"I'm sure you do," Lily smiled.

"Just as I like you the way you are," James said, moving up to kiss her. She closed her eyes and moved her head into the kiss. Even after however millions of times he kissed her, it still gave her that funny feeling in the pit of her stomach. Her hand lazily came up to tangle in his hair as he turned his head to gain better access at her lips.

"James..." Lily sighed, breaking apart from him. "Will you help me?"

"With what?"

She slowly unhooked her bra and let it fall to the ground. A slow grin came across James' face and he nodded slowly, kissing her cheek.

"Prongs!" Sirius rapped on his curtains. It was nearly 9:30 and there had been no movement from the Prongs-side of the room. "Oi, Buddy, time to get up."

The edge of the curtain slipped open, giving him privy to the quiet conversation inside.

"James, we have to get up. Didn't you get enough last night?"

"Please?"

"You're impossible. You need to get up and finish packing."

"Flick of the wand, Baby."

"Where are my pants?"

"Wait a minute, those are my Snitch boxers!"

"No, Darling, they're mine."

"Y-You bought Snitch boxers like mine?"

"No, they're yours, I stole them from you before Christmas."

"My Arrow's shirt! Where on Earth has that been?"

"In my trunk."

"W...?"

"I wear it to go to bed."

"Only one question...do you wear anything under them?"

"What do you think?"

"Oh, Baby, once more, please?"

"No!" With that, Lily opened up the curtains, hair in tangles and wearing James' Arrows shirt and Snitch boxers. She blinked at Sirius who was smirking.

"How long have you been standing there?"

"Since you told him that you gave him enough last night," he grinned. "'Bout time, too. I was thinking that he was about to go blind-oooof!"

"That's my boyfriend you're talking about," she glared, removing her fist from his stomach. "Watch it."

"Yes, ma'am," Sirius coughed.

"One more kiss?" James asked, sitting presumably naked under his sheets. She turned around and leaned over, giving him closer to a snog before Sirius pulled her off of him, by the hem of her shirt.

"Let the man have a break, Lily," he grunted.

"Fine, see you on the train," she gave James another coy look and walked to the door. James peered out from his bed, a big goofy grin on his face.

"Well? How was it?"

"...wow," James laughed. "You should honestly abstain for a long time and then get some. It feels...bloody amazing."

"Uh, you have more willpower than I do," Sirius rolled his eyes. "Hurry up and pack before Moony has an aneurism."

"Right, right," he sighed. "I don't know where my clothes are, can you throw me some clean robes?"

"I hope this means you aren't going to be grinning like an idiot for the rest of the summer?"

"What does it matter to you, you're moving out."

"But I'm still going to be with you every waking moment."

"Then I suggest you get used to it, mate."