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The Ultimate Bet: Higher Stakes (You Shouldn't Gamble With F by RoseLibs
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The Ultimate Bet: Higher Stakes (You Shouldn't Gamble With F

RoseLibs

-Chapter Five: Mama Juana-

-By Natali-

Lily woke up, just minutes after falling asleep. What was this?

"Lils, wake up," Meggie giggled, poking her with one of her perfectly manicured fingernails. "Up, love, I want details. How was that wet one Potter slobbered on you?"

J. Mo snickered evilly. "We're cruel aren't we, letting you fall asleep there in Potter's nice smelling shirt-what is that, Fahrenheit?-then waking you up?"

"You're a lot of bitches," Lily yawned, sitting up. "What do you want? Hearing what he said about the Marauders couldn't have waited till morning or something?"

Brandy looked over her silver rimmed glasses and smiled slowly. "Oh, we know what he said, dear. We know it all. What we want to know is how that kiss was. And when the second date is."

Lily turned her words over in her head, then glared at them. "You were listening in, weren't you!"

"Not until you were off Hogwarts grounds," Meggie shrugged. "Remember, Muggle devices don't work around magic. So glad that he didn't take you to Hogsmeade. What were you doing sneaking glances?" She burst out laughing.

"One thing at a time," Brandy said, still smiling. "Go, Lils. The floor is yours."

Lily stared at them for a moment before flopping over onto her stomach and sticking her head under her pillow. "Go the hell away."

J. Mo considered the sleeping beauty for all of three seconds until she shoved Lily off her bed smoothly without a second thought. Lily landed with a heavy thud on the floor, wrapped up in her sheets. "We have some questions."

"You about to meet with my hand," Lily growled, trying to unroll herself. She continued to struggle as her mates just looked on. "Isn't anyone going to help me?" she asked finally, pouting.

"No. We did it on purpose," Brandy explained. "You run like the wind when you feel like it, Lils, and we need to talk to you."

"It was just a kiss. You make it sound like I ran off and got married or something," Lily muttered. "A kiss. Only a kiss."

You shouldn't gamble with fate.

J. Mo broke the seriousness and laughed. "How was it, seriously, Lily? Then we'll let you go, if you promise to have a girly talk about this, like we used to."

Lily closed her eyes. "I'm not sure what it is, mates, but… He's got it mastered. It was heady."

"Heady?" Brandy laughed. "Lily, are you for real?"

"What, it was!"

"That's the gayest word."

"There's no other explanation. It was a heady kiss. And he smells good."

"Heady though?" the other three said simultaneously, laughing.

"Yes, heady," Lily bit out. "Mind letting me out of this thing?"

Brandy snickered, blowing out the candle they'd lit up. "No, you just figure out how to get of that thing, or onto the bed. We'll undo you in the morning, Miss Heady."

"You are not going to leave me here!" Lily shrieked.

"Silencio," Meggie said easily, and Lily's protests were instantly muted. "It's just for fun, Lils."

Lily gave them a rather rude gesture, flopped onto her stomach right on the floor, grabbed her pillow, and prepared to fall asleep-she wouldn't be able to get on her bed, and her wand was out of reach.

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"Evans, Lily."

Silence.

"Evans, Lily," McGonagall repeated louder, scanning the room. "Where is she?"

"Sorry, Professor," Lily said, entering the classroom. "I'd forgotten something in my dormitory and had to go back." She was out of breath, breasts rising and falling rapidly, transfixing James's eyes. It was Monday, two days after their date, and he hadn't seen her since the date.

Where had she been? Had she worn his shirt to sleep?

The thought was driving him crazy.

Her hair was down today, straight and she looked like a model walking down the runway as she walked to her seat, in the back of the class with her friends.

He wanted her next to him. Or under him. Or on top. Whatever she'd prefer. The possibilities were endless.

"Potter, did you hear me?" McGonagall said. He snapped to attention.

"Sorry, I had…"

"You hadn't been paying attention. Come up and help me pick up this heavy box of glass orbs. We're making glass ornaments today."

Lily watched from under hooded eyes as he stood up and picked up the heavy box that must have weighed as much as the squid in the lake.

His ass is the best, she snickered in her head. Who am I kidding? He's about the hottest thing since the microwave.

She'd avoided him purposely. It was the best way to do what she had to do. Get him so head over heels for her he doesn't know what to do with himself. Win the money.

You shouldn't gamble with fate.

Get it all. Get everything, and prove once and for all that she could do anything. Which she could.

You could also do him, a little voice in her head said.

Lily shook her head, getting out her wand. Boys were a tricky thing. Men were even worse. James Potter was definitely one of the latter.

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"Boys are cheats and liars
They're such a big disgrace
They will tell you anything to get to second
baseball, baseball
he thinks he's gonna score
if u let him go all the way,
then you are a whore--ticultural
studies flowers, geologist studies rocks
all a guy really wants is a place to put his
cock...roaches, beetles, butterflies and bugs…
nothing would make him happier than a giant pair of
jug...glers and acrobats and a dancing bear named Chuck
all a guy really wants to do is...
forget it NO SUCH LUCK!"

Lily smiled, playing with her quill absently. That wasn't only true but a valuable life lesson. It was a good thing that the First Years had already learned it.

"Hey."

She didn't turn around, only watched the girls chanting (something to the effect of "U-G-L-Y"…) and doing hand claps they'd made up for it.

"Don't," Lily said sharply, and James stopped in the process of messing up his hair.

"Don't what?"

"Do that thing to your hair. It's annoying and cocky. No one likes it. At least, no one except the fan club that worships you." She turned around now. "Ever used a machine that's a pain in the arse and makes you cry with frustration?"

He knitted his eyebrows together. "What?"

"No? Stay away from computers if you like it that way." She stood, still playing with the tip of her quill. "When can I do you?"

"Sorry?" James squeaked. "What did you say?"

"What can I do for you," Lily lied, smirking inside. That was so easy. He's on pins and needles and doesn't know what to do with himself.

"I… well I'm not exactly sure," James smiled, sitting down beside her. It was after classes, and she had gotten into more comfortable clothes to relax and do homework. Tight clothes. He watched as nimble fingers twirled her quill-her favorite-and drop it. "Bloody hell," she swore, bending over to retrieve it.

Little bitch is doing this on purpose! James realized. The pale green shirt she was wearing hitched up a bit as she leaned down, and he saw a tantalizing patch of her back.

I'd brand her if I could.

Like a cow? a part of him snickered.

"What's the matter with you?" Lily laughed, staring at him. He realized he'd spaced out and that she was upright now. "You look as if you're having a wet dream."

"A what?"

"A day dream," Lily said smoothly. "Are you having hearing problems today, or are you just purposely trying to annoy me?"

He shook his head. "I remember why I'm here now. I was wondering when you wanted our second date to be."

She considered the question for a few seconds before rising and getting her bag. "I'll let you know." Without any more explanation, she walked away, hips swaying.

You shouldn't gamble with fate.

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By Thursday, James was losing his head. She hadn't been avoiding him, but they hadn't spoken and she hadn't shown one flicker of interest.

Well, not necessarily…

There were touches, meant to confuse him. He didn't know if it was by accident or on purpose, and he was completely going bonkers.

"Oh, no," he groaned as he spotted her heading his way. "Not this again." Sirius gave him an odd look, but didn't ask.

As she got closer, she reached up to put her hair in a clip, and for a moment, James thought he was safe. She wouldn't get him, not this time. Maybe she didn't see him! Whatever the reason, with her hands occupied, she couldn't "accidentally" touch him. No, then it would have to be on purpose.

And just as he thought he was getting away with it…

Her arm lowered, and her pinky brushed his upper arm, sending shivers down his spine.

This girl was good, and she knew it.

"…but if the Divines…" he heard her say in a hushed voice, before the noise in the corridor blocked it out.

And Remus, Sirius, and Peter thought it wasn't possible…

"James!"

Her voice cut through his thoughts and he stopped just as she bumped into him, sending him into shivers of awareness.

Awareness of everything… Her lips, her perfect breasts, hidden beneath her school robes… Awareness of how good it felt.

"Yeah?"

"This Saturday," she smiled, turning on her heel. "Make it interesting and lively."

I'm so going to win this bitch, Lily thought to herself, catching up to her mates. And get so much satisfaction to boot. Potter and the Marauders! Bloody hell, I'm good…

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"Where's James?" Sirius asked, barging into the Seventh Year Boys' dormitory. "Remus, did you hear? Where's Prongs?"

"You look as if you've just ran from the other side of the castle or something," Remus mused out loud.

"I have. Where's Prongs?" he repeated, searching the room for him. "It's urgent."

"I think he's with Dumbledore. Something about Head duties…"

"What about Head duties?" James said, turning up. "Who needs me?"

"Sit down, mate. You won't believe what Mackenzie just told me. She said she'd heard it from Jillian, who overheard Susie telling Joshua, who told his ex-girlfriend Katie even though he wasn't supposed to, who accidentally slipped and broke her ankle while sneaking around with Phillip-"

"Funny, you think I give a flying bat," James laughed, flopping happily onto his bed. "Guess whose got a date with a delectable redhead and is a step closer to winning this bet?"

"Funny, you think that you're not being played. Guess who's got an ongoing bet since Fifth Year with her mates that she could make you fall in love with her then break your heart?"

James didn't pay him mind. "No problem there. While she thinks that she's winning her bet, I'm in no danger of doing so, and I'll just shag her because `I love you, Lils'. Then bing, bang, BOOM, I've got enough money to buy myself another wardrobe!"

"Sometimes I think you were born the wrong gender," Remus muttered, heading for the bathroom. "With all the money you think you're going to win, what you're thinking of buying is a new wardrobe? You're such a homosexual."

"Go take a dump, Remus. You've got that look on your face and I can tell you need to," James chuckled, ducking the curse that was thrown at him. "I love you too, honey bunny."

"Fuck off."

"Listen!" Sirius said, grabbing James's shoulder. "You didn't let me finish!" He gave James a glare before picking off where he'd been interrupted during his story. "Phillip then told Caitlyn, who knew about our bet-don't you dare tell me that I shouldn't have opened my big mouth. She was… naked, what do you want? Anyway, Caitlyn told Lily."

"Oh, hell," James said, closing his eyes. "And she told Lily, for sure?"

"Definitely."

"…Now what?"

Sirius laughed in a rather rude, unfriendly way. Sometimes he just backstabbed you. "Hold your balls and pray she doesn't know how to unman you."

"Sirius Black, get out," Lily said, pushing open their door without so much as a knock and throwing her purse onto the nearest bed without ceremony. "I've got someone to talk to." She watched him with hawk-like eyes and shut the door after him. "I've got an idea for our problem."

"What problem?"

"James, shut up, and listen. We'll bet on the Quidditch game Saturday morning," Lily said, looking about the room. "This place is a mess."

"We're guys," James shrugged. "What do you mean?"

"If Ravenclaw wins the game, I get to win my bet and you have to pretend to fall in love with me and I get to dump you-dirty," she smiled evilly. "If Hufflepuff wins, you can win your bet.

"You don't know what my bet is, do you?" James asked, ignoring his hormones that told him to take advantage of the situation.

"I do."

"You don't."

"Oh?" she asked coolly. "It isn't that you have to shag me three times?"

His jaw dropped. "You're a tart!"

She walked straight up to him and slapped him-not too hard-across the cheek. "Where the hell do you get off saying that?" she gasped.

"You've just agreed to screw me three times as if it's nothing," he said defensively. "That hurt."

"Good," she spat.

"Alright, I'm sorry."

"Shove it up your cocky arse, Potter!"

There was about thirty seconds where they had a stare down (I can't believe I'm doing this, Lily thought. This is more immature than anything I'd ever thought I'd do at seventeen) when James broke it.

By kissing her.

It was hotter-headier-than the first, and much, much sweeter. His lips massaged hers, tongue diving and claiming, tasting every sweet crevice of her mouth.

She was warm, silky, and smelled like… powdered lavender. Did that even make any sense? Ah, lavender powder. Yes, that was it. She smelled like lavender powder.

Lily pulled away after a few minutes, her breath warming his face. "You need to shave."

He smiled against her lips. "I thought you'd like me in a beard."

"You thought wrong. Is it a deal?"

He frowned, not liking it at all. "If Ravenclaw wins, you do, and if Hufflepuff wins, I do?"

"Yes."

"Fine, but I don't like it."

"But you were willing to try it anyway," she scowled, stepping out of his arms. "I'll see you Saturday after the game, Potter."

"My name-"

"Is James," she finished for him, shutting the door as she stepped outside of the dormitory. "I know," she added softly to herself. "Believe me."

Lily headed down the stairs, in pursuit of a good, strong drink she knew she could get under the table at Hogsmeade. Something strong-something to make her think without the burdens of teenage problems.

About thirty seconds after Lily had walked through the portrait door, James poked his head out, her purse in his hands.

"Hey, J. Mo, where's Lily?" he asked, walking up to the group of the Divines and feeling terribly stupid for carrying a girl's handbag.

J. Mo only raised her eyebrows but for once didn't comment. "I think I heard her mutter something about a Scotch on the rocks. Possibly something illegal too."

"I've… got her purse," James said lamely. "I'll just leave it with you three."

"I think you'd better take it to her," Meggie piped up, braiding her hair absently. "You know… she just might need it."

James scowled. "No way I'm going out of here with a girl's purse."

"Not even for Lily?" Brandy asked softly, nonchalantly sipping her namesake. "She'd be very grateful, I know."

James grimaced at them, then made a rude hand gesture. "Fuck you all, you know? Don't think I don't know things."

"I wish you'd fuck me," Meggie winked. "I'm open whenever you are. As for things you think we don't know… Well, don't be too sure of that, Potter."

"What do you mean?"

"What, are you doubting your great intellect?" J. Mo said slyly, snickering. "Go off, catch up to her. And don't lay a finger on her."

They watched him as he stalked out of the common room, clearly annoyed and pondering what that meant.

"Crazy bitches," Sirius snickered, popping up from behind the couch where J. Mo was lying. "Do you think it'll work?"

Remus hurried down the stairs, straight to them. "Thankfully for you, I was in the room. They made their own little bet, annoying nincompoops."

"What?" Brandy asked.

"According to who wins the game this Saturday, one of them gets to win."

"It's a win/win situation for our little buddy Lils," Meggie pouted. "I envy her to the core. She gets to either get loads of money, or shag Potter three times. I'm not sure that I can say I'd prefer the former…"

Sirius twiddled his thumbs absently. "Want to put down money?"

"No," all three Divines answered simultaneously.

"I feel bad, we should tell Peter," Remus said. "I mean, he is a Marauder."

"Keep it down, man!" Sirius hissed, smacking the back of Remus's head.

"No one heard, and I doubt they'd care," Remus rolled his eyes. "But I feel bad. I'd be hurt if you three didn't tell me."

"Well, Peter's not alone. James doesn't know either." Sirius shrugged, turning to Brandy. "How's Mission Pimp Phase Conspiracy going, whatever you call it?"

Brandy gave him a caustic look. "I'm not telling you a thing, Black. So back off."

"You positively growled there, Brandy."

"Shove it. We've got to think. I'm not sure this is what's good for Lily." Brandy sighed, rubbing her temples. "I regret now ever having detention with you; I shouldn't have played my mate like that."

The ever-knowing J. Mo tapped her fingers against the arm of the couch. "Maybe, Brandy. But maybe not." Her smile got evil. "Who wants to go for a little Lily and James spying?"

As they stood up, a First Year in his dormitory opened up a Chocolate Frog to find Slude Prut on the card. "Slude Prut's favorite quote," he read out loud, "is `You shouldn't gamble with fate'."

His friend who lay on the bed opposite him sat up a moment. "That's gay."

The other First Year shrugged. "He's dead, this Slude Prut, so that explains a lot."

"And you're stupid," said a third First Year, "because Slude Prut was a woman."

"Oh."

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I dare you to laugh, James mentally growled at the group of women staring at him with the handbag. I bloody dare you.

He walked into the Three Broomsticks, searching quickly for Lily. Nothing.

Hog's Head. Nothing.

Honeydukes. Nothing.

Zonko's. Nothing.

"Bloody woman is harder to catch than a ghost on a foggy field," he sighed, standing in the middle of the main street, looking around. "I just had to come out here, didn't I?"

A slight commotion about twenty yards in a clearing caught his attention, and James headed for it. There was some sort of model shoot for Wizard Aurors of the Year Calendar shoot, and there were topless men and women in skimpy robes all over the place.

"Look at that one of there," some photographer to his right said, pointing with his head. "Beauty. Good cheek bones. Too bad she's wearing so much bloody clothing. Wouldn't mind to see her in nothing but pearls." He laughed in a perverted way, waiting for James's reaction.

James turned his head, trying to find the girl the photographer was talking about.

And who should he find at the end of his search?

"You're a pervy old bloke," James spat. "She's barely seventeen!"

"Blimey, that's a blessing," the photographer grinned disgustingly. "It ain't statutory rape then." He walked away.

James gave the pervy old photographer the foulest look he could muster, then stuck his hands in his pockets, handbag swinging as he walked.

Lily stared off the edge of the cliff, watching the river run by. It was a clear, crisp blue, and little fish were swimming in it. Some type of yellow thing…

The wind played with her hair softly, and she watched the professional Aurors posing for the calendar, and she smiled.

There was Alastor Moody, trying to get into a picture (December, if she was hearing right) and demanding to be pictured without a shirt.

"You left your purse thing," James muttered, handing it to her, upset. "I'll see you later."

Lily put a hand on his arm. "You came all the way over here just to give me my purse, which I could've gotten later?" She raised a perfect eyebrow. "People are gonna start talking. They might-God forbid-think James is at every beck and call of a girl."

He shrugged, bemused by the face she put on when he did.

"Do you still have my shirt?"

"Sleep in it every night."

"That's sexy."

"That's a total lie."

He didn't seem to be too letdown, and he smiled into her eyes. "Still a sexy thought."

Lily nodded, leaning toward him slightly. "I'll talk to you later then. I came up here for a drink, and now I'm in the mood for something to munch."

Then James did something totally unexpected. He slowly wrapped his arms around her and hugged her, a simple innocent hug.

"Come on, my treat," he whispered. "Hogwarts food is too fattening."

"I can tell," Lily laughed as they turned, one arm each around the other. She patted his stomach. "You're no broomstick, that's for sure, Potter. How does your poor broom fly you about?"

"How many times do I have to tell you, Lily, my name-"

"-is James," they said mutually.

You shouldn't gamble with fate.

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(-Authors' Conversation: One-)

Amanda drummed her fingers on the arm of her chair. "So Natali, how do the Marauders-my old soccer team by the way-and Devines know about each other? I still don't get it."

Natali gave her an odd look. "Dude, you're funny. And u spelled Divines wrong. Since when do I plan this crap? Actually, I was thinking that the other Divines could have just figured it out…somehow. And for some wacky reason, they confronted Remus and Sirius, meant to confront James and Peter too, but they weren't there at the time. That was my idea." After a moment, she added, "And, oh, I don't know! It's just such a Sirius and J. Mo type thing to do to screw with their mates' love lives! …Wish I had mates like that."

Amanda laughed, nodding. "Ok, I get you. And you know I can't type and I rely on auto correct."

"Doesn't always work either," Natali laughed. "Just playing, I love you."

"You're lucky that I love you," Amanda said, with mock glare. "Just thought of something: what about that whole thing we had with the Divines and Marauders confronting each other together, and James and Lily acting as the designated reps? Is that out the window?"

"Oh, shit. Totally forgot about that. I could always erase that part of the chapter, it's really a give or take. I'm sad now, because I liked that idea." She pouted.

Amanda stroked her chin, contemplating the dilemma. "Or… we could still use the part you wrote… and the ones who know could pretend they'd don't when they confront! …Don't know why though. And… yeah."

"To screw with James and Lily?" Natali giggled. "It'd be funny if James and Lily never actually found out that their entire relationship was based on a little setup their friends did. Which wasn't a dare, by the way. Jo had asked about that. Actually, she'd come up with that. So Jo needs some credit, because she was my inspiration."

Amanda laughed. "It would. It and J. Mo, Sirius, and all of them could be laughing behind their backs."

Nodding excitedly, Natali says, "I can especially see J. Mo and Sirius doing that. Brandy and Meggie could go either way, and Remus has his own evil side. And Peter, as always in my fanfictions, is out of the picture."

"Ditto."

"Which brings me to my next question: are Sirius and J. Mo getting together?"

They turned together to the readers and smiled in their own special, wicked, RoseLib fashion. "Maybe."

"Will Jeremy be offended you think?" Natali snickered.

"Who cares?"

"True. Ever heard of Mama Juana?"

Amanda scrunched her eyebrows together. "No."

"You will after the following text. You know I'm an avid alchy, so I know this crap."

"Right," Amanda rolled her eyes. "Total alchy, I'm sure."

"Anyway," Natali said, ignoring the prior statement, "It's a Caribbean drink-Dominican I'm pretty sure, but don't quote me. Strong shit. Good too; sweet."

"Nice... I'll have to try some sometime."

"When you visit me in Miami. And come to retrieve your trays. Might as well kill two roaches with one spray of Raid, as we say."

"Don't even ask about that," Amanda mumbled to the readers. "Now finish the chapter. No one cares about what we talk about."

Natali shrugged. "Hey, my chapter, my say goes. Not really, but yeah… Go with it, just to make me happy."

"Back to the story then," Amanda said excitedly. "And how could I get my hands on some Mama Juana?"

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"I'm not sure," Lily sighed, twirling her hair. "I'm not sure at all."

"Come on, Lily, just one game," J. Mo begged, getting onto her knees. "It's only fun and games!"

"By the end of the game, J. Mo, I'll be drunk to high hell," Lily murmured, but smiled slightly. "And since when are we so chummy with those three?"

Since we found out you lot have the greatest bodies in our year, Sirius thought to himself. "Just a game, Lily. You'll enjoy it, promise."

"Drinking games are stupid and irresponsible. You two are the Heads, what kind of example are you?" Remus scowled.

"Great ones!" James laughed. "We are living proof that you can be a bad ass and still pass. Besides, most of the young ones that are still naïve enough to believe we're innocent and good are asleep and snuggled with their Teddies."

"Besides, Remus," Brandy said slowly, "I know you love drinking games." She gave a satisfied siren's smile as Remus flushed deep crimson. "He'll play. Let's go."

"What about Peter?" Remus asked halfheartedly. As if they cared.

"He's one of the ones who is naïve enough to believe that we're innocent and good. And who do you think I was originally referring to when I said they were snuggled with their Teddies?"

There was a mean, mocking snigger around the group, and Remus took out his wand.

"Let's start with something light," J. Mo mused. "Mama Juana."

"What the bloody hell is that?" James asked.

"A supposed aphrodisiac from the Dominican Republic made from certain herbs and bark," Brandy explained, examining her short nails. Meggie frowned at them, making a mental note to give her a manicure and to get her to stop biting her fingernails. "You add rum, wine, and honey and presto, you've got your drink."

"Brandy's an alcoholic you see," Lily whispered.

"Shut up, J. Mo knows more than I do."

They all smiled, as if sharing some little joke.

They probably were.

"This should be so much fucking fun," Sirius said, an evil look sliding onto his face. "Ladies first." Remus got the Mama Juana-which wasn't for those weak of stomach-and seven shot glasses. After each was filled up, J. Mo took over.

"Game's called `I Never', and you've all got to be truthful, or you drink that whole damn tanker Remus got. Lovely, by the way. Wish I could lose my sorrows in that," she said in a rushed voice. "I'll go. Remember, one whole shot for each thing you've done." She was silent for a moment while she thought. "I've never had sex while the Prime Minister was on my television, giving a speech."

Brandy snickered, her own evil plot forming in her head. She downed the shot, then stared at Meggie until Meggie downed hers too.

"Was this by any chance together?" James asked hopefully.

"Not in your dreams. Different days, different speeches," Meggie smiled. She was next in the circle. "Alright. I've never… gone two weeks without shaving my legs."

"You're such a bore, Megs!" Lily started to protest, until she saw Sirius raise his glass. "Well… Maybe not."

"I've never gotten a Brazilian wax," Brandy said, eyeing James.

"How'd you know about that?" he gasped. "Not fair!"

"Word travels fast in my family. My aunt had the great pleasure of performing the task. And she emphasized how great it was," Brandy smiled.

Lily nodded approvingly, reaching for her own glass. "Whoa, that was strong," she coughed. "My turn. I've never… worn someone else's bra, for lack of anything better."

J. Mo, Sirius, Brandy, Meggie, James, and Remus all downed their drinks.

"I definitely don't want to know," Lily muttered, taking a drink for the hell of it. "Next?"

"I've never fucked with ice," Sirius piped up. "But if any of you ladies are willing…"

Lily smiled, and picked up her shot. "Alright, you've got me there, Black." She drank, gasping again. "I'm feeling shit-faced already!"

"Good," Remus, Sirius, and James chorused.

"I've never given a hummer," James smiled. Brandy and Meggie drank, and everyone looked at Sirius expectantly.

"What, do you all think I'm a homosexual or something?" he exclaimed. "For fuck sake, I screw at least three girls a week!"

"It's just, you've tried everything, Sirius," J. Mo giggled.

"I've never had an orgy," Remus muttered. No one picked up their glasses. "Oh, Lord, you're so boring. Not even one of you?" They all shook their heads. "Prudes."

"This is stupid," Brandy sighed, picking up the gigantic bottle. "To hell with it; let's just drink. We all know that's when we confess to our own dirty, naughty happenings."

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-A/N: Tried my hardest to update as fast as I could, and I think it came out ok. And I don't usually write 13 pages in word, so yeah… Be grateful, no just playing. Erm… I mentioned this to Jo, but I thought I'd mention it to the rest too: Me and Rosie would LOVE it if you guys would tell us what you think is going to happen, or what you think about things that have already happened. Uh, I think that's all I had to say… I'm mixing thanks to my reviewers, so there's PK and FF.net here. I'm kind of sad, because I think my best friend is sort of pissed with me, for the first time.

Special thanks to Rosie, who beta-ed and gave loads of ideas. Love ya Radish.

Thanks to:

James_love

anita potter

Jo (lol, great getting a reply from you)

ann black

Vicous Pixie

Lady

travelledtheworldandthe7seas

chocOholic (ooh, aren't we all? Chocolate rules)

shortgirl424

peacock 5

Reines im Herzen

Jill

Phsgirl

LOTRFREAK77

Apotterlover

Abby mcglone

Alexa capulet

"Anonymous", whether one or 70…

HarrysPotter

SweetKiwi456

Julesy

Vikkala (I believe I replied to your review on PK, correct me if I'm wrong…)

Ladyofslytherin

Parvati_Patil

Dolphingurl

Remus'sweetie

Daman5: Erm, it's been my experience that British people still use shit and fuck, even if they're "American" words. But thanks anyway for the comment.

Ashwinder7: Lmao, you've smelled a guy's shirt, with him still in it? Ok, whatever floats your boat buddy…

Thank you everyone… for making this a total of 44 Fanfiction.net reviews and 42 Portkeys.

~Natali of Pruner, the Libs


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