A/N: Ok, I'm writing these scenes from pure memory. I was one of those shy girls who refused to have anything raunchy at her Bachelorette party. (And I don't regret any of it.) I'm writing Harry's from partially how (I'm told) my husband's went and how I think Harry would react.
***
Hermione's POV:
Ok, well, tonight is my bachelorette party. We're two weeks away from the wedding and this is supposed to "relieve my stress." So, why do I feel worse? I shouldn't have let Ginny run this. This won't be what I want. I want a nice dinner and a simple Muggle sleepover. We'll watch movies with hot guys and that's as far as I want it to go. If Keanu Reeves takes his shirt off, fine. But I don't want some half-naked (or worse!) sweaty "pizza delivery guy" gyrating in my face.
I explained this to Ginny and she said she understood. I specifically stated that if a stripper showed up, I was locking myself in the bathroom. Anyone who knows me knows that it's just not me to want that.
So now, Harry and I are each sitting here at the breakfast table, worrying.
I'm sure that Harry is nervous about his party as well. He told Ron, no strippers, either in the house or on a stage. But Ron can find ways around things. It's strange; he couldn't write an essay for Potions, but he sure can think of ways to get what he wants.
"Are you looking forward to tonight?" he asks.
"Yes, of course. Should be fun … if Ginny listens to me," I reply.
"Yeah, I know the feeling. I'm a bit scared to see what Ron's got cooked up for me. Let's just get through today and then see what the Weasleys have in store for us."
"I wish I could be there for your classes. You're going to be mighty distracted."
"And you?"
"I trust Ginny a little more than I trust Ron with things like this. We'll meet up tomorrow and compare notes. Just remember, no funny business, Potter!"
"Same goes for you, Granger."
"No problem. Pinky-swear?"
Harry sticks his pinky up and I realize how lucky I am that Harry grew up in a Muggle environment. He knows what a pinky-swear is. Can you imagine if I was marrying someone like Ron? I love Ron, I do. But between the culture difference and the insane amount of arguing we would do, well, that would certainly be a match made in hell.
We make the swear and get up to leave.
It's another long day in the library as I wait for my fate.
Finally, it's time to head to dinner. I kiss Harry good-bye and ask him to behave. He says the same thing to me, but I know he's less worried for me.
I meet Ginny, Luna and Tonks at my favorite restaurant in Hogsmeade and they present me with a white baseball cap with a tulle veil hanging off the back.
"There. Now everyone will know we're a party!" Ginny exclaims.
Ok, this I can handle. I'm going to get a ton of questions, but ok. I'll survive this.
Dinner is fabulous as usual here and I'm having a great time just chatting with some of my closest friends. It's like we're back at Hogwarts and we're just sitting in the Common Room - only with Tonks.
Suddenly it's time to head back to Ginny's. Now, I'm scared.
Once we arrive, we get the movies going. When the first is finished, Tonks announces that it's time for gifts. Oh dear.
"Here, sweetie!" she yells as she hands me a gift bag.
"Open it!" Ginny says, excitedly.
I remove the top layer of tissue paper and find a magazine … PlayWitch. Oh Merlin. I quickly put it aside and keep digging. Oh good, another copy. Thank goodness.
"Well, thanks," I say, moving the bag away from me.
"There's something else in there," Tonks says.
I'm well aware of this and didn't particularly want to bring it out.
"Is there?" I ask innocently.
"You know very well there is!" Ginny scolds as she shoves the bag back at me.
"Oh." I reach in and pull out … well, it's a toy and we'll leave it at that. "Well, gee, guys, thanks. Though I thought the point of marrying Harry was not needing one of these."
"Hermione! Can't we try to embarrass you at your bachelorette party? You wouldn't let us take you out! And you certainly wouldn't allow a stripper," Tonks says.
"You're very right! Deal with it! It is my party after all."
"Well, you might as well finish things off," Luna says to Ginny.
"Finish?" I ask.
"We got you a cake," Ginny says as she gets up to retrieve it.
"Do I want to see it?"
"Not likely, but it'll taste amazing! I've had things from this bakery before," Tonks tells me.
Ginny brings the cake in and it's shaped like … Merlin! It's shaped like a certain anatomical part (one that none of us in the room have).
"You guys are evil, you do know that, right?" I ask, redder than before.
"Yes, but you love us anyway!" Tonks laughs.
"You don't know that," I reply.
"Ok, teasing over! Next movie!" Luna announces, obviously noticing my discomfort.
"Thanks," I mouth to her and she runs to get the next movie. "You've Got Mail." That could be good, a big chick flick. Ginny runs back to the kitchen and returns with the fruitiest drink I've ever had. I'm not naïve enough to think that it's non-alcoholic, though. Luna's is the only one that is. But, hey, I might as well let loose a little at my party!
After "You've Got Mail," we're a bit tipsy, what with the drinking games Ginny came up with.
"Ok, so Hermy," Ginny begins, and I cringe at the name. "Let's dish! We can play "Truth."
"Truth?" Tonks questions.
"Yeah, it's like Truth or Dare, but we're too drunk to safely perform dares, so we'll just tell the truth. Ok, Hermy. Have you seen Harry naked?"
"Well, yeah."
Everyone gasps in surprise.
"Oh come on. Just because we haven't made love doesn't mean anything. We bloody live together."
"And how do thinks look?" Ginny asks.
"Look?"
"I think she means down below," Luna helps.
"Oh! Well, I certainly can't complain," I confess. Bloody alcohol, worse than Veritaserum.
The ladies laugh at the blush that crept onto my face.
"Ok, Tonks," Luna says. "Is sex different with a werewolf?"
"Different? Goodness, gals, he's still a man. I'm afraid we've never done anything transformed. But if I'm being honest, they don't call werewolves animals for nothing."
Ok, more than I needed to know about my former professor.
"So, Luna, how long were you in love with Ron before you bagged him?" Tonks asks.
"Oh that's easy. Since my 3rd year. I know he really was being a prat that year, what with the not believing Harry and all, but he just looked so damn sexy, brooding like that."
"Ok! I don't ever want to hear my brother and sexy in the same sentence again!" Ginny yells, taking another big gulp from her drink.
"So, now it's down to you, Miss Weasley," I say. "Are you currently crushing on Mr. Neville Longbottom?"
Ginny blushes and that answers the question.
"Yeah," she confesses. "He's the sweetest man I've ever met! I mean, yeah, I had that crush on Draco Malfoy for years, but Neville makes me forget all about it."
"Whoa! Malfoy?" I ask, shocked.
She claps her hands over her mouth.
"Ginny!" Luna exclaims.
"Ok, ok. Secret's out of the bag. But it was a stupid schoolgirl crush. You know, the bad boy and all."
Everyone nods their heads in agreement. As much as I never really understood the bad boy thing, I guess angsty, moody Harry was kinda hot.
To change the mood, Luna puts in another movie, "The Matrix."
Ginny makes a new drinking game for this as well.
Once it's over, I ask, "Anyone else ready for bed?"
"Come on, just one more? I love looking at Kena … Keno …Kana … Neo!" Ginny cries in her drunken stupor.
"Don't we all, but look, Luna's already out," Tonks says softly.
"Sure! She's shleeping for two now!" Ginny slurs, much louder than she should be.
"Well, I'm just sleeping for one, but that one knows she's tired. Good night, guys. Thanks for an awesome party," I say as I roll over.
"Party pooper!" Ginny calls.
"Ginny, trust me. You need some sleep as well," Tonks says. "You're mother would have kittens if she saw you like this."
"Pfft," Ginny scoffs.
"Good night," Ginny!" Tonks says sternly as she lays down as well.
I smile as the noise finally dies down … until the snoring begins. Wow, a drunk Ginny sounds like 20 chain saws.
I think we'll have damage control to do in the morning since Tonks and I each just cast a silencing charm on poor Gin. But she won't wake up for a while, so it's ok.
Now it's definitely time to sleep.
***
Switching to Harry's POV:
As I Apparate into Ron and Luna's flat, I'm concerned. There's no one here. It was supposed to be here, right? Old instincts die hard and I'm on edge. I grasp my wand and creep through the place.
When I reach the kitchen, Ron, Sirius, Neville and Remus all jump out at me.
"Surprise!" they shout at the same time that I scream "Expelliarmus!"
Four wands come shooting at me and I'm able to catch all but one.
"What the bloody hell did you do that for?" I yell.
"Um, surprise?" Ron says meekly as he walks into the hall for his wand. "And could you have caught mine, Harry? I really don't want a third one!"
I hand Neville, Remus and Sirius their wands back, apologetically.
"Well, excuse me, but I tend to be jumpy after facing a dark lord year after year for a good part of my life," I reply.
"I told them it was a bad idea," Remus says as he uses his jacket to give a quick polish to his wand.
"Moony the tattle-tail," Sirius teases.
"Well, you're little surprise could have gotten us stunned, or worse," Remus says. "Excellent reflexes, by the way, Harry. You must have had an excellent Defense Against the Dark Arts professor."
"I had one or two good ones," I smile. "Good to see you, Remus," I add, reaching to shake his hand. "And how's Tonks?"
"She's well. Probably driving Hermione mad at this point."
I nod. That's probably true.
"Neville, always a pleasure," I say, shaking his hand as well.
"Good to see you, Harry. Sorry about that, by the way."
"At least I know I've still got it!" I laugh.
"And what about us?" Sirius says, gesturing between himself and Ron.
"You two were behind the surprise!"
"How do you know?" Ron asks.
I shoot him a look that just says, "Duh."
"Ok, fine! But that doesn't mean your Godfather doesn't deserve a hug!" Sirius says with a fake pout.
"All right, all right, you big puppy," I say as I hug him.
"And me?" Ron asks.
"Come here," I say, embracing him as well. "You did organize a party for me, so I can't be too mad. Unless we're going somewhere that I don't want to go."
"I kept them both on a tight leash," Remus tells me. I take notice of his retaliation to Sirius' earlier comment.
"Woof," Sirius replies.
"No, Harry, per your strict instructions, we're going out for dinner and some drinks, then we're coming back here for poker and … movies."
Now, I naturally know what kind of movies he's talking about, but since it's not a real, live person, I can accept it.
"Ok, fine. Well, let's eat because I'm starving! I missed a Great Hall dinner to be with you guys," I tell them.
"And we're grateful for your presence, oh your majesty!" Sirius jibes.
"Damn right you are! Let's go."
We head to the Leaky Cauldron and have a fantastic time. Granted, I refused to play "Harry must kiss the next woman that walks through the door," but it was a fun time with my mates.
Much more drunk than when we entered, we all leave the Cauldron in good spirits. Neville, our designated Apperator, takes us back to Ron's.
Now that we're here, the general sentimentality that comes with severe drunkenness begins to set it.
"Harry, I want you to know, I think of you like you're my own son. I wish I could have raised you like Lily and James would have, but I couldn't. I want to apologize for those years with the Dursleys. I'm so sorry," Sirius tells me.
"It's ok, Padfoot. I understand the circumstances." I beam, not for the circumstances, but for the fact that I could pronounce "circumstances" while I'm this smashed.
"Hear that? He called me "Padfoot!" Just like James!" Sirius says happily.
"Shirius, he's called you that for years and years and years," Remus babbles.
"You're just jealous he doesn't call you "Moony," Moony," Sirius says.
"But he does!" Ron interjects.
"Shut up, Red!" Sirius snaps and then laughs. "Red!"
Before thinks can get ugly, I turn to Neville. "Neville, have another one!" I yell as I toss him another butterbeer. "You're way behind!"
Lucky for Neville, his new wand works much better than his old and he was able to summon the bottle to him before it smashed into the wall 2 feet to his right. I was never good at throwing. That's why I catch.
I know that we're not going to have a sleepover in the sense that Hermione and the girls are, but I get the feeling that none of us are leaving tonight. I haven't been this drunk since the "Voldemort's defeated" party.
"Ok, so I rented some fine motion pictures for our viewing pleasure tonight!" Ron calls out as he returns. When did he leave?
"Since our party pooper groom-to-be wouldn't allow any live entertainment … I'm not naming any names … Harry … we're going to watch these. Now, thank goodness Her … Hemi … Harry's bride suggested that we get this Muggle tel … telv .. TV, because now we can see what the Muggles have been hiding!"
"Ron, we really don't have to. I'm ok just sitting here, drinking," I protest.
"No! My house, my rules! We're gonna watch …"
I see him straining to read the title, but the alcohol is working against him.
"We're gonna watch this!" he announces and puts the DVD in (after almost breaking the machine, twice).
Poker went out the window since we were all too drunk to concentrate on the cards. Now, I'll admit, the movies are … ok. I mean, the girls are pretty and their acts are, well, somewhat applaudable. Who knew people could bend that way? But all in all, all the videos are doing are making me miss Hermione. Though, they do give me some ideas.
I don't know how long we've been watching them, but it's starting to get old. How many times can you see someone do that before it gets a bit monotonous?
Apparently about this long. The old guys are fast asleep, Neville's teetering and I'm nodding off now and then, as well. Ron is talking to himself, so I don't know if he's paying attention to the movie or not.
Since I got the place of honor on the couch, I decide that here is a good of a place as any for a bed.
Now it's definitely time for sleep.
***
Back to Hermione's POV:
As I wake up, I feel someone staring at me.
"Good morning," Luna says from the other couch.
"Hi," I say, quite raspy. "How long have you been up?"
"About half an hour. Just thinking."
I nod. "How long do you think it'll take these two to wake up?"
"Tonks? 'Bout an hour. Ginny?" Luna laughs. "Tomorrow."
I laugh as well and then cast 2 Finite Incantatems at Ginny, hoping that'll break Tonks' as well.
"She was snoring something terrible, so Tonks and I each accidentally silenced her," I explain.
"Is that what that was? I dreamt that I was at one of those lumberjack competitions!"
We both crack up at that and decide it's time to get up.
A few quick spells and the place looks fine.
"So, do you think our husbands are awake yet?" Luna asks.
"Oh, Merlin, no. Harry plus Ron, Sirius and Remus equals trouble."
I gather up my movies and put them in my gift bag.
"That was Ginny and Tonks' idea," Luna says. "I knew you'd hate it."
"I figured. It's ok. I mean, it was a bachelorette party."
"No, seriously, Hermione. It was your party and you should have been given exactly what you wanted."
I smile. "And I got it. I got to have a fantastic night with my best friends. Really, Luna. Thanks a lot."
"You're very welcome. And Peanut had fun too," she said, looking at her stomach.
"Oh, Peanut, I'm so glad!" I say to her tummy.
"You know, Hermione, you're much less hung-over than I expected."
"A well-prepared bride-to-be is a smart bride-to-be. I took a preventative potion. Let's you get drunk, but not feel the after effects."
"Very smart! And you didn't share this why?"
I shrug. "For the show that would follow?"
Luna laughs. "Good plan!"
We sit and talk for a while before Tonks finally gets up.
"The potion. Where's the potion?" she asks.
"On the kitchen counter," Luna replies.
Tonks bolts for the kitchen.
"Hangover relief?" I ask.
Luna nods.
"Well, ladies. I don't think Ginny will be up for a while, so I need to get going. Someone's got to be around in case Harry splinches himself or something."
"That'd be a headline, "Boy-who-lived now in pieces!" Tonks says as she returns from the kitchen.
"Exactly. So, thanks again, guys. I had a blast," I say as I hug Luna and Tonks. "Will someone levitate her to her room?" I ask, nodding towards Gin.
"Yeah, I'll do it," Tonks says.
"Good. See you!" I say as I Disapparate.
As I return to the flat, I see Harry on the bed with a note on his chest.
Hermione,
We had a lot of fun, perhaps too much fun. Thank goodness for high-alcohol tolerance (maybe the wolf is good for something) and a quickly taken anti-hangover potion. Because of these, I was able to Apparate all the boys to their homes. Next to the bed is a vial of that wonderful potion. Be sure to give Harry some as it's not going to be pleasant for him. Please don't be mad at him. He really was on his best behavior - like you had doubts.
Anyway, I hope you ladies had fun. I'm praying that my wife is in one piece when I next see her.
Hope to see you soon!
Remus
I laugh. Leave it to Remus.
I snuggle up to the completely unconscious Harry and decide a nap could do us both some good. We could talk later.
***
A/N: YAY!! I got this chapter out sooner than usual! You can thank some slow days at work for this. I knew I had to get it done because my best friend is in town with her adorable 3-month-old daughter and I'll be spending lots of time with them.
BTW, I really did threaten to lock myself in the bathroom if a stripper showed up. ;)