Forbidden is not Forgotten
The real Histoires
A/N: I got this plot bunny while I listened the song below, and then I remembered the FLC (of which I've only read one or two, I think) while looking for a title. So this is going to be sort of a compilation of all these D/G stories… the stories of a forbidden love.
I've never written any D/G as main ship fic ever so be nice :D Please R&R to see if it's worth it to keep writing these histoires.
Introduction
Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you
(.- Someday by Mandy Moore)
One can say they move on from a love that might have been real but is over now, but one cannot say they get over a love that was never finished, that was forcibly cut from the root and just-forbidden.
I don't think I'll ever forget that git that deliberately stole my heart and then was taken away from me. But I made a choice-we made a choice. Maybe we were stupid, maybe we were just too bloody faithful to our families. Thing is, that I had the most wonderful summer and then had to let it go… just like that.
Now we're in different paths and I don't even want to think what could happen if they cross again… just to think that I may be forced to attack him, or kill him makes me sick. I honestly don't believe I could, and that makes me doubt if I am fit for what I'm doing. I hope I never have to find out.
Did I hurt people in the way? Unfortunately I have to say I did, and what's most horrible, what keeps sucking me into this limbo is the fact that I don't regret at all having hurt the ones I loved… for him.
I'm going on my first mission soon, she's just finished her training. Who would've thought that a thing like that could happen, to me! I may have to kill her and I don't even want to think about it; it would be simply too much. One thing was staying away from her, but that doesn't mean I stopped loving her.
Yes, I know we made that choice together, but again, that doesn't mean it was what I wanted, either of us wanted. Guess I'll never know now, will I? Yeah, that's what you get when your dad is a maniac and her family is just too thick.
Who would've imagined that I would fall for someone… especially for her. It is amazing how much my life changed ever since she entered my life and was taken away. Just look at me now! If I saw her I would-I really can't see if I would run to her, attack her, kiss her, kill her or just freeze in the spot.
Bloody fantastic they say it is… don't count me in that package. Maybe a couple of years ago, but now… Anyone would think it was impossible for me to not forget a summer affair, but here you have me. Only time will tell…
When he first approached me, obviously I was very reluctant on even listening to him after everything he'd done; hell! After nearly ruining my family -even more by that moment- with his dad's stupid accusations and slanders.
But he honestly seemed to need help and as you know, a Gryffindor just can't walk away from an opportunity to display chivalry and put everything before them. Sometimes I wish I had just said no; it would've saved me a lot of sleepless nights and tons of times of dehydrating myself, if you know what I mean. But then, I probably would've never known love the way I did.
Why was I in Gryffindor? Go ask Merlin! I have absolutely no blasted idea and I don't think I'll ever get that answer. I mean, Ravenclaws… they can see it all coolly, analytically. Hufflepuffs… they just set their minds to a task and then work to get it based in loyal and sure connections. And Slytherins… well, they just look after themselves; they carve a plan and go ahead with it, no strings attached. I certainly envy all those things and can't help but wonder how things would've turned out. Ok, rambling, aren't I?
Back to the original self-pitying / freudian-insighting moment. This whole uncertainty, mixed with resentment is extremely tiring, believe me. Yes, I've had a lot of time to think about this, and this weird altered Pensieve might be a good idea.
Why couldn't they just bloody stay out of the way… I might even had been able to bring him to our side, he would've definitely been a good asset for us in the war. Goodness! I can't believe I just said that! Guess his influence went a little further than wanting to challenge my family… not to mention the Minister of Magic.
Father's just gave me another of his long and exhausting lectures about how I made a good decision when leaving her. One would think that after three years, he would be done with it… guess he really wants all of me with them and gets a picnic in reminding me how 'good' we are.
At a time, I would've just walked away and spitted on her after I got what I wanted, but I pulled the trigger and it backfired on me. I really needed her help back then and believe me, it was the hardest thing I ever did, to ask her for help… well, maybe the second hardest thing, after leaving her.
In the end, it all came down to one thing; either my family and the future I was to fulfil no matter what… it wasn't an "Oh! Tragedy! How terrible! We weren't meant to be together!" No, things were, and still are much more complicated then they appeared. The "No matter what" included getting rid of ANY obstacle; which meant that they would kill her if I didn't leave her,. I never told her that, nor I would ever because knowing my sweet babe, she would go charging against all of the Death Eaters by herself.
But know one thing, despite she might probably hate me now after what I told her and after putting them before us, forbidden is not forgotten, and I will never forget one Ginny Weasley, the woman that changed my life forever.
it is true, I am probably the stupidest person alive for still loving him after all, but I am sure there was something else behind what he-we decided, just like there was something else behind my motives for agreeing to a likely lifetime of nostalgia.
Despite his apparent calmness and coldness, I am sure I also broke his heart when I told him I thought the same… I saw it in a flash in his eyes. I knew he was determined, because when he says something like that, the way he did, he is not about to back away… But he probably wanted me to cry on him and tell him I loved him and that I didn't care about anything as long as I were with him… they typical Greek lover's tragedy, like the ones we always used to read, the ones he loved so much.
What he didn't know and hopefully will never have to know is that the aurors already had him on the watch; they knew about his father and the plans he had for him. They were going to take him to Azkaban, they were going to chuck him there for life if he stayed with me. As a matter of fact, I believe that was Harry's first mission… despite he wasn't too sure on doing it, it was something big for someone that had just finished training and he was definitely going to succeed, knowing him (and knowing how well he knew him after seven years). Oh! how much he hated me when he found out we weren't together anymore. He was still supportive when I needed him the most, but I don't think he ever forgot I took away a very easy first mission from him.
Anyway, trailed off again, didn't I? Thing was that in spite that I was crying desperately inside and that I would've very willingly fought back, that wasn't likely. I would've had to betray (and therefore hurt, even more) all the people that had always been there for me, which seemed a very tempting offer at a time. And he would've had to subside to a lifetime of fear and permanently running away, and I wasn't about to let that happen, as much as I would've loved to… see? The Gryffindor again, ugh!
Supposedly, I am over him now, as I said before, I continued to built my life and now it is looking good for the future, except for the fact that I'll never have him back. Knowing him, he probably won't ever forgive me for acting so cool at that moment. I just wish he could know I will always love him, I wish he could hear this Pensieve and know he's always on my mind because you don't forget when someone like Draco Malfoy changes absolutely everything you thought you believed in and you thought was right, in such a short time.
A/N: I really don't have an outline for this (yes, can you believe that? The self-proclaimed organisation maniac has no outline for a fic) but since they're compilations and there is so much material in this territory (emotional material I mean), I guess I'll survive hehe.
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