Unofficial Portkey Archive

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling actually gets paid to write this stuff. I don't, so guess what? I don't own Harry Potter.

This story is dedicated to my friend Anne Marie she's an A1 lover and she introduced this band to me. Thanks Anne!!!

I planned on posted the final part next week, but since I got such a good response I decided to post it now!! This part has been very hard to write; I always knew how I wanted the ending to be, but getting there was another story...

Anyway; on with the story.

***

Part 3 - I still Believe

The sun went down so long ago,

I watched you cry I had to go

Forever only lasted just a day.

And now without you by my side

The visions of a lonely life

Take me to a dream in a place so far away.

I see an angel and I think of you. I watch her hide behind a smile.

And then I think of what I have to do. If only I had listened for a while.

I still believe, I still believe.

A love so strong will carry on; you know there's so much to be seen.

I still believe; I still believe.

It's not the end, let's start again.

I still believe.

***

***

Her smile.

It was the first thing he saw when he apparated at The Burrow. He saw her smile. It was so beautiful; he thought he had forgotten what it felt like seeing her smile. He knew he was staring at her but he didn't care, she wasn't looking at him so it was safe to stare.

He and Ron have just arrived at The Burrow for the Christmas dinner and it only took him one glance around to find the person he was looking for. She was beautiful. He could only describe her in that way, but beautiful did not seem to cover it all. She looked like an angel; she was wearing a blue dress that fitted her perfectly, her hair was in a bun but had a couple of curls that stood gently by her face. Her eyes were shining and she was smiling apparently to some joke of Fred and George.

Then suddenly she looked at him and her smile faded away.

***

***

`He's going to be here in a couple of minutes'. That's all she could think about. She was very nervous about seeing him again. Ginny had assured her that all she needed to do was make him see what he missed by treating her that way, then maybe slowly he would open his eyes and ask her to forgive him. Of course this would take a long time but at least she could have their friendship back, friendship and nothing else. It was a simple plan, everything should go smoothly. She had no idea how wrong she was.

She was smiling at one of Fred and Georges jokes when she felt someone look at her. Deep down she knew whose eyes were looking at her but when she turned and saw him looking at her, all her defenses went crumbling down. Memories from that night kept playing in her mind.

"Now I'll do what I should have done years ago."

"Yeah and what's that?"

"Pushing you out of my life."

She felt tears wet her cheek.

Suddenly she started feeling claustrophobic; she needed air; she needed to breathe. But it felt like the room was getting smaller. She knew what she had to do. She had to get out of there. Get away from all those people; away from him.

His presence was simply suffocating her. She couldn't stand being in the same room with him. A part of her wanted to just go and hug; but another part of her wanted to scream for all the pain he was causing her.

She couldn't take it anymore. So she just ran; she ran away from him. She left the room and went in the backyard.

***

***

Everyone saw the exchange. He looked at her; she looked at him. She started crying and after a few seconds, which seemed like eternity, she ran away. Ginny left after her to console her. And he was left there, staring at the door through which she exited.

Ron's friendly pat on the shoulder pulled him out of his reverie.

"Don't worry man, everything will work out fine."

"Ron, the first thing she does when she sees me is run away. How can everything work out fine?"

Fred and George now joined the conversation.

Fred tried to reassure Harry by telling him: "Come on. It's you and Hermione. Of course you'll work it out."

"Yeah, you guys always work things out. You can't stay too long away from each other. I'm honestly surprised you spent 6 months apart! I'm telling you man, just give her some time to sort some things in that complicated brain of hers, and then she'll be back to you in no time," added George.

"Listen, I don't blame her. I treated her in a way I could never imagine was possible. I just shut her out. God! I didn't even listen to her. She just wanted to talk to me, and I didn't want to listen. She's always been there for me, but the one time she asks me for a favor, I'm not available"

Harry realized that he was using the same words Hermione had used during `The Fight'. How could he be so stupid? How could he do this to her? He had no right to be angry with her!!

He couldn't just wait there and do nothing. He shouldn't just wait there and do nothing. He did this mess and he was going to fix it. It doesn't matter is she won't talk to him ever again; at least he'll have his conscience clear. Well no, that's a lie. It does matter if she won't talk to him ever again!

But he had to do something. He still believed that whatever was coming between them could be resolved. Together they could make it.

"That's it. I can't take it anymore." This statement from Harry startled them. They were not sure of what he would do next.

"I'm going after her", he told them.

"No, that is not a good idea"

"Yeah, Ron's right. You know sometimes girls just need their privacy."

"Exactly. Just let her be for a while."

"No. I need to talk to her. I need to sort this mess out."

"You won't go begging, right?"

"Begging?? No Harry don't do that. Just be a man about it. You know, talk to her - yes. But beg?"

"Yeah have a little bit of pride and dignity"

"To hell with pride and dignity. I won't lose her just because of my pride. Damn it."

And with that he stormed outside looking for Hermione, leaving behind him three smiling Weasleys.

"I knew that kind of talk would knock him into his senses!"

"Yeah, finally he has the guts to go and talk to her."

"And we won't miss this, right Fred?"

"No we won't."

"What are you guys talking about?"

"Well, bro. Our latest invention: `Weasleys' ever lasting memories.'"

"This bro is a muggle digital camera with extendible ears inserted in it and a few of our other inventions. If we stand next to the window we can tape what's going on out there zooming of course, understand every word they are saying, without them noticing anything."

"Wicked!"

"Exactly. Round up everyone. It's show time."

And with that they started filming what was going on outside, and everyone watched as if it were a movie.

***

***

The emptiness of what could be shows everything you mean to me

It stated out a game I'd never played.

If I defy my foolish pride

And find a place so deep inside.

Take me to my dream; I know I have to stay.

I see a rainbow and I think of you. Of what we had of what we were.

And then I think of what I have to do. If only I had listened for a while.

I still believe, I still believe.

A love so strong will carry on; you know there's so much to be seen.

I still believe; I still believe.

It's not the end, let's start again.

I still believe.

***

Part 4 - Feels Like Home

Somethin' in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself
Makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms
There's somethin' in your voice, makes my heart beat fast
Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life

If you knew how lonely my life has been
And how long I've been so alone
And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along
And change my life the way you've done

***

***

As he walked outside he saw Ginny leaving Hermione's side and approaching him. As soon as she saw him, she understood he was going to talk to Hermione.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. You're the one that put her in that situation."

"I have to talk to her; I can't see her like this."

"OK"

As he was walking to her he could help but note again how beautiful she was, this young woman he had grown to love, yes love. These six months have just that positive side to them; he had finally realized how much he loved her. But he didn't know what to do, she was probably hating him right now, she couldn't possibly love him.

Anyway; he went and sat by her side, if she realized that he was there beside her she made no attempt of showing it. They sat in silence for some time before Harry decided to tell her what's been bothering him.

"I'm an idiot." He continued to stare at the little lake as his voice broke the eerie silence that surrounded them.

"What?" She expected him to say many things; maybe to apologize, to say how much he's sorry for hurting her like that, never did she expect him to say that.

"I'm an idiot." He repeated with the same calmness in his voice and still looking straight ahead.

"Six months ago I had an internal conflict. I was glad that he was finally gone, but part of me...well I'm not proud of it, but part of me wished he'd survived."

"I used to think that Voldemort made me who I was, he gave me a reason, an aim to live - it was my goal in life: killing Voldemort once and for all. And that's it. Yeah I've thought about becoming an auror but it didn't feel like a goal or aim in life. It didn't make me feel fulfilled. I thought it was Voldemort who gave me something to live for. And when I killed him, I felt lost; what was I to do now? What's my goal, my aim?

"Everything started to change and I don't like change. I had become accustomed to a specific routine, you know: Voldemort comes out of hiding, I face him and he goes hiding again, then he comes out... it was the same routine for the last seven years and it made me feel somewhat safe, knowing what was ahead of me.

"But suddenly I lost that feeling; I didn't know what was ahead of me and I it frightened me.

"Everyone was rejoicing, partying... everyone was so happy, and I was so scared.

"Then you came and I thought `I'll talk about it to Hermione, she always listens to me, and she'll tell me what to do'; but when you come you say that you want to talk to me. And it felt like `here we go again, another change - I do the talking generally and you the listening'. I was so confused; I didn't know how to act - what to do! God all I had to do was just sit there and listen to you and I was so self-absorbed that I actually found that difficult to do.

"And you were right, all the things you said, you had a right to say those things, `cause I am... what words did you use? Ah yes "arrogant-seeking-attention-bastard". I am, really.

"I don't know how it happened, one minute we're sitting there, the next we're shouting at each other and then I'm living the worst six months of my life.

"I realized that it wasn't Vodemort who gave me stability in life, it was you." At this he finally turned his head to her and she could see that his eyes were watery.

He saw that she was still unable to talk so he continued, "These past six months were horrible because you were not by my side. I managed to survive 7 years at Hogwarts full of dark moments only because you were there giving me the strength that I needed.

"Hermione Jane Granger, I am lost without you.

I only hope that you could forgive me, I understand if you don't `cause I've been an idiot, but I really hope you do. And well I'm just happy that I finally put my pride aside and got the guts to talk to you."

With that said he leaned in and gently brushed his lips on her cheek and whispered, "Merry Christmas Hermione." Then he got up and made his way back to the house.

Hermione's mind was racing; it was racing really fast trying to bring out some sort of logic from what Harry had just told her. The last part kept replaying in her mind; he described her as the most important person in his life. Maybe... or maybe not. She would never find out if she doesn't...

"Wait!"

Her voice echoed around the place making him turn around and look at her. She was slowly walking towards him and tears were once again staining her face.

"I'm sorry."

"What?!" He never expected her to say that!

"The Fight; it wasn't a one-sided effort, I have my blame too. I shouldn't have said those things, I hope you know that I didn't mean them, I never did."

"I know that."

"Good, because I couldn't stand it if you'd hate me." Her voice broke down and she couldn't stop the tears from leaving her eyes.

Harry gently wiped her tears with his thumb, "I could never hate you - you are my rock"

At that Hermione broke down in tears and hugged him as if her life depended on it. When they broke apart he put his forehead on hers and just looked in her eyes. They were shining as brightly as ever, he wanted to tell her so many things, he wanted to tell her about his feelings for her and this was the right time.

"God, six months without talking, there's so many things I have to tell you."

"Then say them now."

"I...I love you." He whispered it so softly that she thought she had just imagined it.

"Really?"

"Yeah, really."

At that Hermione couldn't take it anymore, so she started crying.

"'Mione, what's wrong? If you don't feel the same..."

"No, I do. That's what I was going to tell you before we had The Fight."

"Oh God, I am an idiot!"

"Yeah you are, I do love you Harry, with all my heart-"

"But?"

She trusted him and she loved him but she just needed to hear something from him, after The Fight she was really hurt and now she just wanted to make sure he won't do it again.

"Just don't hurt me; don't hurt me."

"I won't. Not again, I won't"

And with that she kissed him, it wasn't a chaste kiss it was a kiss full of passion and love. And the wind blew so strongly around them that they didn't hear the people in the Weasley house cheer them.

When they broke apart Harry looked at her, she had snowflakes in her hair and her cheeks were flushed; it was a wonderful picture.

"You're so beautiful!"

Hermione smiled and blushed, "Well, that's because of Ginny, she wanted to dress me up and-"

"No, it's not just today. You've always been beautiful to me."

With that said he gently took her hand and led her back to the house where they found chaos; people exchanging money and smiling at the same time. They later found out about the latest Weasley invention and Hermione was mad, to say the least, the twins approached Harry and told him they would give him the only copy of the tape as a present when the get married.

It was all a joyous celebration, a wonderful day full of hope and love. He had Hermione by his side and he couldn't be happier, he had no doubt at all that everything would work out fine. And while he was enjoying the familiar scene in front of him he suddenly realized what it felt like to have Hermione in his arms; it felt like home.

***

A window breaks, down a long, dark street
And a siren wails in the night
But I'm alright, 'cause I have you here with me
And I can almost see, through the dark there is light

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way the back where I come from
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

***

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Song: I Still Believe - A1

Song: Feels Like Home - Chantal Kreviazuk (I just love this song!!!)

Hope you liked this, please review if you can.

Thanks,

Marija

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