Dedication: To our girls of the OBHTF, we love you and thank you for your continuous support, encouragement, and influence. And to Ronin10, who is responsible for this mess, thank you for finding us a really cool name for our yahoo group.
Urg. Stupid formatting errors. Italics should be working now.
Prologue
There is a place that still remains, it eats the fear it eats the pain. Nine Inch Nails
Hogwarts was burning.
And the smell of human flesh was rising.
Hermione Granger clung blindly to the broken castle walls, struggling against the crowd of screaming people running through the tumbling debris. She had to get back to her room to see what she could salvage. There had to be something she could save.
After all, she couldn't save him.
She forced herself to swallow her violent sobs and continued to force her way into the castle. So many bodies. So many people she knew. Professor Sprout. Terry Boot. The first years that she used to tutor when she was Head Girl. Tonks. Moody, who pushed for her to get into Unspeakable training.
She couldn't save him.
She ran blindly, past the vicious cursing between the older students and the growing number of Death Eaters. She jumped staircases and took steps two-by-two, past a mad Rudolphous Lestrange and Malfoy gathering sobbing girls from all years into corners for their own twisted purposes.
She couldn't save him.
What use was she now?
Breathing a haggard sigh of relief, Hermione stumbled into the guest room she had been sharing with Ron since they had arrived to help gather forces for the battle. Her clothes were scattered about and mixed with Ron's. She flew to her writing desk, throwing books and papers into the air and searching desperately for her journal.
She couldn't save him.
Harry Potter was dead.
She grabbed a quill from one of the broken cases, fighting down the vomit as the smell of burning flesh began to seep through the windows.
She began to write.
This... This is my last entry and I pray- even if that's worth nothing now- that you, Ron, will find this.
I cannot ask you for forgiveness because I would be lying. I cannot ask you to understand because I don't even understand myself. However, I do regret not telling you the truth because it is the truth you at least deserve.
So in my final moments, as the castle burns and the debris falls, I will tell you.
Harry and I- are- were in love.
I know you must hate me at this point, you were always one to jump and not listen, but please, with little time I have, I beg you to hear my story.
We didn't plan it, Ron. Merlin, we'd never to that to you. But things happen- Life happens and maybe, just maybe we were already in love but I never-
The screams rose from outside her window. She shuddered violently and forced herself to continue. She had to get this down on paper. She owed him this much.
Harry and I were working on a way to-
"Hermione!"
Her head shot up and her hand reached for her wand in her pocket. Ginny Weasley stood at the doorway, running in and slamming it shut. Her hair was a mess, twigs and dirt stuck out in different places. Her eyes, which usually shone brilliantly with laughter, were wild and disturbed.
"Hermione, what the bloody fuck are you doing? We've got to go!"
The quill dropped out of her hand. Something... something was wrong. Her mind was screaming at her to get out.
"All right," she conceded quietly. "We certainly can't go back out there. Take a deep breath, Ginny."
The younger woman nodded, swallowing. "What do you suggest?"
She couldn't save him.
Harry Potter was dead.
"The passage way," she murmured. "Down at the end of the hallway. Harry, Ron, and I used it to sneak out to go down to the lake in our sixth year. It's the safest way I know."
Something was wrong.
Ginny nodded, her hands bloody and covered with dirt. Her eyes went back and forth to Hermione and the door.
Hermione didn't move.
"Someone's betrayed us," Ron hissed.
Harry slammed his hand against the wall. "Fuck," he said. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. We can't trust anyone now. We've got to keep in between the three of us."
She nodded slowly. "We're going to have to be careful. We've gotten this far."
Ron kissed her on the forehead. She didn't miss Harry's dark look. She sighed inwardly. Soon, she promised herself. Soon this will all be over.
"Ginny," she murmured. "What's going on? Why aren't you with the others?"
"I came back to get you, Hermione," she stumbled. "I couldn't let them leave you."
Her eyes closed.
She couldn't save him.
Harry Potter was dead.
There was no use for her now.
I'm sorry Ron.
"All right," she said quietly, standing. The smell of burning flesh and the screams of the students that had been left behind began to surround her, threatening to drown her.
"Let's go."
She didn't grab her wand.
There was no use for her now.
Ginny grabbed her by the wrist. "Wait," she whispered. "I think there are people down there."
"There are people everywhere, Ginny. Some are dying. Some are being raped. We're in a war. That tends to happen."
Ginny said nothing in response, but her grip on Hermione's wrist tightened. And Hermione knew. She knew and was numb. Her ability to feel had left when she had watched him die.
She knew and she waited.
"You should've stayed with Ron," Ginny whispered. "Like you were supposed to. You should've stayed away from Harry. My Harry."
There was no use for her now.
"I loved him," she continued with her wild eyes. "I loved him, you see, and when this was over, we would've gotten married. But you didn't stay with Ron. With my big brother. Like you were supposed to."
She couldn't save him.
Harry Potter was dead.
There was no use for her now.
She was only a half a soul.
Hermione didn't feel the knife as it entered her heart. Again. And again. And again. And again. Her vision began to cloud and she couldn't tell whether she was seeing the red of Ginny's hair or the red of her own blood.
"My Harry," Ginny whispered. "And you had to take that away from me."
A slow smile made it's way onto her lips, a sense of peace settling onto her shoulders. "I-"
"Stupid mudblood," Ginny hissed, bringing the knife above her head. She brought it down swiftly. "Stupid, stupid mudblood."
Hermione smiled. "Im-mortal be-looved."
And her blood-covered engagement ring fell to the ground.
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