Chapter 5
Life Lessons
Ron eventually slipped out of the cabin to escape the oppressive atmosphere.
Those two were going to drive him insane! He thought.
Shaking off the depression he stalked off to find Neville and maybe a game of exploding snap before the Prefect meeting began. There were several fifth year girls that were showing definite promise as well. They might need a little Weasley pick me up. He did have a Family Reputation to uphold after all.
Hermione had fallen asleep with one hand curled under her head. She had huddled her body into a ball and uncomfortably leaned against the darkening glass as the day slowly fell into dusk. The rumbling action of the engines soothed into drowsy slumber. After Ron left, Harry couldn't help dozing as well. He slipped off into the first good sleep he'd had in a long time.
The train came to a faltering halt some hours later. Ron was surprised that Hermione had skived off the prefect meeting. Usually she was the one with quill in hand to take notes and bring up her new ideas. Last year alone they had to fight her back to keep the meeting down to two hours.
Ron joked around with the other prefects after the meeting. He was so glad he had older brothers. The pointers from Bill had certainly helped today! Bill made it all seem so easy. Ron would never tell any of his mates that he asked for girl advice from his older brother, but he wasn't going to be the gibbering mess he had been for so long.
Maybe with a kick in the pants, he thought, I might even ask Hermione out.
He grinned but then gulped hard when he actually thought about doing it.
The girl in question woke up to the sharp sound of the train whistle calling all stop. The carriage stuttered in place as the brakes slowed the Express to a halt. She noticed Harry still asleep in the corner. She had seen him come in but didn't know what to say so she faked being asleep. After a while she really did nap, and got some much needed rest. She felt better than she had felt in a while. Quietly, she grabbed her travel bag and slid out of the compartment so as not to wake the slightly rumpled boy. She knew she had missed the prefect meeting, but in reality she didn't care. It seemed so trivial compared to all that they had lived through. She was unsure what her role could be now. Was she some kind of freedom fighter or was she a petty tyrant hall monitor that handed out detentions in class? Those two people couldn't possibly be the same person.
She stumbled a little with her bag and followed the queue to the trunk pick-up and carriages. Ron, Luna and Neville greeted her with big waves and motioned for her to stop and ride with them.
"Where's Harry?" Ron asked looking over her shoulder expecting him to be following.
"He was asleep. I..I guess I should have woken him, shouldn't I?" Hermione said miserably.
Ron looked at her questioningly and dashed off to get his friend off the train. Luna and Neville exchanged glances that asked what was going on but both responded with shrugs. Neville got a few jokes about his new physique from Seamus who was passing on another carriage but held up admirably with a shy grin and his good nature.
Harry had been awake when Hermione had left. And he was a little miffed she hadn't tried to talk to him at all. He had just gathered his things together at the side of the train and was directing his trunk with a locomotor spell. It was good to be able to use his wand again! Next summer he would reach seventeen and be considered an adult and would never have to deal with the decree for underage magic again! Memories of the hearing last year in front of the Wisengamot were enough to give him the chills again. Ron caught up to Harry and grabbed the other end of the trunk and pushed it on its way.
"Come on, Harry. Everyone's waiting for you. The trunks know where to go. The house elves charm them once the train stops. Come on!" Ron dragged at his friend who had one arm in and one arm out of his robes as he tried to stuff them on while being pulled. Ron laughed and infectiously made Harry grin in response.
The group of teenagers gathered around one carriage and the boys magnanimously allowed the girls to get in first. When they were all settled they leaned into the soft cushy seats. The comfort of knowing they were on their way back to Hogwarts made every one of them pleasantly excited. All except Hermione. She had been holding her breath and her expression caused everyone to stare at her.
"The Threstrals are still invisible." She whispered softly. Harry's breath slid out in one huff.
"You haven't seen anyone die, yet." Harry explained simply.
"Yet." Hermione burst into tears.
The boys didn't know what to do. Neville looked wildly about for a handkerchief he knew his Gran had forced on him before the train. Ron did his best to ignore her but was failing miserably. He eyes were wildly trying to land anywhere but on the crying girl. Harry reached over and picked up the small linen square that Ron had apparently sat on and handed it to the weeping girl.
"It's alright, Hermione." He said gruffly.
"They're not much to look at, really. The crumple-horned snorkak looks similar in color, but Thestrals aren't really that lizard-like, are they?" Luna said to no one in particular.
Neville stared at Luna and agreed nervously completely unsure what a Crumple-Horned Snorkak could be. The carriages pulled up to the gate and let the sixth years off before bringing the last line of carriages carrying the seventh years. Luna took Hermione's hand and officiously led her off away from the boys and into the castle. The immensely relieved three boys left behind walked more slowly taking their time before entering the large stone building. Neville chatted about his summer interning at the New Magi Garden Center leaving Harry and Ron to grin at each other in amusement. They couldn't see the joys of dealing with man eating flora or stink-sap throwing plants, but it was good to see how excited Neville had become about it.
They wandered up the stairs to the Great Hall and settled in for the Hat's yearly song before it chose the houses for the intimidated little first years. Wide-eyed children in fresh new robes lined up against the teachers' table and awaited the pronouncement that would determine so much of who they would become. The Great Hall's ceiling was full of scattered stars reflecting a beautiful full moon dipped lightly in cherry sauce. Each new child's face was filled with the wonder and excitement of starting at Hogwarts. Harry watched their faces and smiled as he remembered the same exact feeling.
Professor McGonagall strode up to the podium carrying the frayed and wrinkled tall brown hat. It sat very still on the three-legged stool as all the students gave it their attention. Slowly it began to hum and sway as if taking it's time before choosing its words for the New Year song.
"It seems each year I take the time
To tell to you all a special rhyme.
A story about the needs of all
To share the burden or you will fall.
By now it may be time to share
The tragedies of a certain pair.
Of Grindlewald and Dumbledore
Of fighting and a cause of War.
For Grindlewald was sly and cunning
He hurt his partner who thought him funning.
Fast friends were they but fortunes bore
A break in harmony, trust and more.
Purity, tradition and power sought
So with hearts fallen heavy war was fought.
It took each house and special talents
To keep our world from losing balance.
For Dumbledore was just one man
Still a boy he did much to save our land.
But many died to keep our ways
And few thought all would forget those days.
But time did pass and thoughts grew dim
And others sought to become like him.
So look to each other and be prepared too
Each house has a need and a skill to do.
Be careful your friends
Be sure your house mends.
For good can lose
Look to how the tale ends."
The room thundered with polite applause settling down with the Professors waving hands. She nodded briskly at a small boy and announced his name as Adams, Gregory before setting the hat firmly over his brow.
Several children later and after Young, Beverly had been sorted into Hufflepuff; a hungry and rowdy school began to enjoy their feast.
Harry laughed as he watched Ron pile a huge plate of fried pies and drumsticks. He was trying to also eat a pumpkin pasty without allowing everything to fall into his lap. Harry reveled in the huge offerings of food. There were more bowls and tureens than he could possibly attempt. They ate until nothing more could be forced into their mouths. A blissful contented feeling fell over them all and the warmth of the Great Hall fireplaces made them drowsy as they waited for Dumbledore's first of term announcements.
The sight of the grey-bearded wizard sent Harry's stomach plummeting. He had forgotten about how he needed to talk to the Headmaster about the Dursley's pronouncement that he was never welcome back to Number Four Privet Drive. The knowledge that the man he looked up to so much was going to become upset with him made everything he had eaten turn sour inside him.
Dumbledore was going to be so disappointed. That was a sight worse than anything Vernon Dursley had ever done to him. Harry would rather take a sprained shoulder or busted lip over seeing the usually twinkling eyes of the Headmaster turn to anger or dissatisfaction.
He leaned forward and slumped down behind the still eating figure of Seamus Finnegan. It would be better not to call attention to himself right now, he thought. He caught sight of Hermione who had slid in the back row and was picking at her food with disinterest. She looked better now than when she had been crying, but Harry had never dealt well with the sight of a girl crying. He had no idea what to do. Cho had terrified him last year with her perpetual tears. He was glad she had started to see Michael Corner and he had escaped her daily emotional breakdowns. Not that he hadn't appreciated seeing her. Not to mention kissing her. That had been smashing. Maybe you have to deal with one thing to get the other. Harry wasn't quite sure that it was worth it. He looked over at the Ravenclaw table and noticed the shiny black hair of a certain girl. No, well. Maybe it was.
Everyone at the table stood up and started moving out toward the door before Harry knew they had been dismissed. He had completely missed whatever it was Dumbledore had announced. Oh, Well. He would ask Neville later. They were all tired from the journey but still overly worked up about being back with their friends and at Hogwarts. That extra energy led to several raids up the girls'staircase sending off the alarms to the delight of all their inhabitants. Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes had made brisk business as well. Wafts of sparkle glitter had drifted across the room from the remains of several firecracker dragons that had been let off by two overachieving third years. The firecrackers weren't so bad, but the glitter settled on each entrant to the Gryffindor Common Room and caused them all to break into dance. Not any particular dance, however, as several couples were found waltzing around a set of first years doing the hustle.
Ron tried to confiscate the remaining packet of crackers, but every time he tried to grab them, the package shouted, "So sorry, Ronnikins!" and slid out of his hands. He was going to kill his brothers, Fred and George. They actually sold the Gryffindors some Anti-Prefect contraband specific to him. Ron tried to get help from Hermione, but she had her own hands full of first years wandering around the dorms unsure of which rooms were theirs and almost in tears. First Night was always a little trying for the eleven-year-olds who had never slept away from home. She trundled them all off sniffling into their sleeves to the appropriate beds and slipped into her own room before Ron could force her to deal with anything else. She couldn't tell anyone, but she felt exactly like those first years. She wanted to curl up in the corner and cry for her mum.
Several days passed and all the students fell into the old pattern of classes. Hermione had gotten into the habit of slipping upstairs as soon as lessons ended so she didn't have to deal with any of the rowdier students and their pranks. That left a very harassed Ron trying to keep the full Gryffindor dorms from going completely out of control. It wasn't long before Ron figured out what she was doing. It wasn't like her to shirk her prefect duties like this but he didn't care what was going on with her, he desperately needed help. When he did catch her in Transfiguration she would promise to be more helpful, but would still be missing when he returned to the dorm each night. It almost seemed like she was hiding from him.
"Those two stupid bloody gits Jervis and Bartley are driving me spare! I truly believe they have some underground connection with my brothers just to send me around the bend!" Ron growled.
He was playing a very aggressive game of Wizard's Chess with a worried and sweating Neville as Harry sat in a comfy chair in the corner next to the crackling fire. Harry was startled out of his reverie by Ron's pronouncement and the yell of the Black chessmen as they trounced Neville last horseman.
Harry shook his head and tried to focus on the game in front of him. He still hadn't made it to the Headmaster to confess, and it was eating at him a little more each day. It had been over a week since the Feast and he had been ducking around corners every time he caught sight of the Headmaster. Not exactly Gryffindor behavior, he scolded himself miserably.
Inside the library Hermione was re-reading her chapter assignment. This was the second time she had read it without anything sinking in. She had been hiding from Ron and any other Gryffindor just so she wouldn't have to deal with any of their petty disagreements. It had been a week, and she was getting lonely. She had a sneaking suspicion that Ron wanted to ask her out. He never said anything, but he would grow very red around the ears whenever they were alone and he acted as if he wanted to say something. Nothing every came out as the boy would stutter and gawk as his voice broke, and they ended up staring uncomfortably at each other until one of them fled. It didn't lend itself to good friendly conversation. She had considered dating Ron before, but he always ended up saying something so completely rude that Hermione most usually ended up angry and storming off. The girl knew they would end up killing each other if they ever tried to be romantic. She was sure he hadn't figured it out yet, but hopefully she could let him down gently without having to bash his head in.
She slid her hand into her left pocket and pulled out a round shiny ball about the size of a walnut that secreted inside was a miniature castle much similar to Hogwarts. She had picked it up while in the Department of Mysteries last spring. She knew she should have given it back to the Ministry, but it had been under the desk where she had hidden during part of the fight and it looked like it had been there for some time. It panged her to know she had stolen something, but this little token helped her believe that everything that happened had been real. She hadn't dreamed it. She wasn't going crazy. She would take the small object out and examine it whenever no one was looking. It was so like a tiny Hogwarts that she could almost imagine minuscule students tromping here and there around the grounds. A few things were different, like the additional wing in the back and the greenhouses were missing, but other than that, they appeared the same.
She had created herself a nest. Hermione had created a place all her own that was silent, lonely and undisturbed. Surrounding herself with books and texts piled up one on top of the other to give her a sense of privacy, she hid from her problems and mired herself in study. No one bothered her in the library so she spent as much time as she could there. She was robotically rolling the ball around in her hand when Fawkes flew in over the books and settled on her shoulder with a flutter. He was holding a small bag full of lemon drops and a card that stated:
Meeting with headmaster, 3:15.
She glanced at her watch and noticed it was already 3:14. She reached for the delicately bound bag of sweets when a hook behind her navel pulled at her and with a pop she found herself thrown into an overstuffed chintz wingchair facing Headmaster Dumbledore.
"Miss Granger, right on time, I see." He smiled as if surprised and delighted to find her there.
"Pro..Professor…I mean, Headmaster…um…hello." She swallowed convulsively and coughed for a moment.
"I realize this is a little out of the ordinary, but I wasn't sure you'd choose to make our meeting. Sometimes one must push one's friends in a direction they'd rather not go, don't you agree Miss Granger?"
She realized that he hadn't missed her skulking behavior at all. Hermione wondered how he knew what went on in the Gryffindor Dorms, but decided she'd really rather not know. Actually, even the portkey he had employed wasn't supposed to work at Hogwarts. Somehow the Headmaster had secrets even Hogwarts, A History didn't know.
It was actually nice to realize that someone had been paying attention after all. Her parents hadn't noticed. Harry and Ron didn't want to talk to her. It comforted her greatly to know Dumbledore saw and cared so much. She had to subtly wipe her eyes to clear them.
"Maybe lemon drops aren't your cup of tea, my dear. How about a string of licorice? I favor the Red Vines myself. An old friend always loved the lemon drops, and I offer them out of habit." He pulled out a small packet of red twisted licorice, handed them to her and smiled with a twinkle in his eyes.
"Strawberry or Cherry?" He grinned causing his beard to fluff in place.
Hermione couldn't help but smile tremulously back. Dumbledore was such a consolation. Just being in his office made her feel warm, loved and no longer alone. Why had she tried to hide for so long? She sighed softly and settled back into the squidgy chair.
"I've had Fawkes bring you here for a discussion. I want you to feel perfectly free to interject any of your thoughts. You have been known to have excellent ideas that have led to many well executed plans. I have need of a plan maker. I have need of you, Miss Granger."
Hermione was surprised he was asking for her help and not giving her a talk about responsibility and how she had disappointed him.
"I need you to talk to Harry."
Those words made her suddenly feel terrible. Talking to Harry meant accepting so many things. She'd have to accept that their friendship meant they were always in danger. She'd have to become that person who was never afraid and always willing to fight. Why didn't anyone realize they were still children?
"There is a need for Harry. And for you. And for all of my `army'." He paused to smile softly at her. " I don't know how to make this any easier." He stood up restlessly and walked over to Fawke's perch where the bird had settled upon arrival.
"I want you to know that I do understand. We are not dissimilar, my dear. Just like our very interesting Sorting Hat conveyed; these times are a repetition of a dark time from before. I fear I am become too old for this struggle. Poor Harry must carry the mantle that I once wore. So much depends on him and the strength of his friends to carry him forward."
She was startled by the intensity of his words. He usually acted silly and playful, but everything he said was spoken in absolute intensity.
"This is your story, and your era. The prophesy spoke of Harry and Voldemort. Not me. I am afraid my usefulness is limited to what I can teach you here in this revered school. I take that occupation quite seriously." He smiled slightly to soften his words as she was startled by his use of Voldemort's name and not the suggestion of `You-Know-Who'.
"Yes, of course, Headmaster. I will help Harry however he needs me." She nodded seriously but wondered how to make that come about.
"Of course, you will, my dear." He patted her hand and wandered back to his desk and sat for a moment contemplating a spinning globe that lit up with sparkling flashes.
"I thought you had called me in here because I hadn't been fulfilling my role as Prefect." She hated to bring it up, but it didn't feel right not to confess.
"Yes, dear. Wasn't that part of what we were talking about?" She looked confused but waited patiently.
"What I wanted to say, my dear, was we have a need to fulfill many roles that sometimes feel hard or difficult to do. Your Prefect duties are sometimes more of a hardship than a privilege. Many students don't understand that and tend to be jealous of the position. We both know it isn't all that enjoyable, is it?"
She managed a tremulous grin and had to look down from his very understanding eyes.
"The Prefects do more than just give out demerits and break up couples in the Astronomy Tower. Yes, I know all about that Trysting Tower. I was a student here once myself, girl!" He laughed at her shocked expression and harrumphed to get settled back down.
"The Prefects, along with the Teachers and the Headmaster, all form a unit to give these children a sense of security. We give them structure, guidance and love that they miss from their own parents. They are here to become Wizards. That is a miraculous and dangerous job for all of us, just ask Madame Pomfrey." He chuckled.
"But it is important. This school does more than that, I hope. We wish to instill an understanding that Good, though more difficult a path, is worth the struggle. So much of our world has become corrupted. We are the last bastion of hope for the next generation. Without this small school, many children would be left to turn towards the Darkness of Dark Magic and self-destruction. Look at what so many of the other schools have turned into." Hermione couldn't help but remember Durmstrang and the dark arts that were taught there.
"I think I understand, Professor." She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. It was time to grow up. There had to be a stand, and this was where it was going to happen. Even little things like giving up on her duties as Prefect made a difference in the fight against Evil. What she did for the children under her was in its own way extremely important. A feeling of determination flooded through her. She had been afraid for so long. It wasn't that she was no longer scared, but now she understood there was a reason to be brave. For being considered such a clever witch, she sometimes felt extremely foolish.
"Thank you, sir. I won't let you down." She felt like laughing. So much weight had left her shoulders. It was harder to be afraid and indecisive than to take a stand and move on it. She had a lot to make up with her duties, and she pitied the poor soul who was the first to be caught when she came back to the Common Room. She giggled to herself and excused herself from the Headmaster as she tripped down the stairs to Gryffindor Tower chewing her licorice with relish.
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