(A/N: Wow! Thanks for all the reviews you've sent me! There are 3 more chapters until the end of the story! Did you want to discover where is Harry gone? Here we are then!)
Chapter 33. COMING BACK TO LIFE
...
Sorry, it's late, and I'm thinking of you
Yes I'm coming, and I'm thinking of you
I wasn't funny, and I'm thinking of you
I'm sitting in the dark, and I'm thinking of you
I close my eyes, and I'm thinking of you
I can't sleep, and I'm still thinking of you.
...
"... and I'm thinking of you" by Lucio Battisti
Hermione and Ron returned to Hogwarts on Sunday night to resume classes on Monday morning.
Officially, all the other students knew was that Harry had to leave school for a few urgent and very secret matters. Dumbledore had absolutely forbidden the teachers from revealing how things truly were; he did so to prevent Voldemort from learning Harry's true health condition, and also to protect Snape's cover.
In private, Dumbledore had informed Ron and Hermione the absolute minimum needed to keep them quiet; he told them that Harry was alive, though still unconscious. Nevertheless, Hermione was not able to calm down. It was unbearable for her to know that the person she was in love with was still in mortal danger, isolated in some unknown place, without his closest friends by his side.
On Monday morning, Hermione was still lying on her bed with the curtains closed around it, staring at the ceiling with tears in her eyes. The previous day, she didn't have anything to eat and wasn't able to sleep the entire night.
She almost didn't realize that her roommates were already up and getting ready. Suddenly, Lavender opened her bed curtains, smiling.
"Good morning! I don't think you want to be late, do you?"
Hermione didn't reply and quickly wiped her eyes with her pajama sleeve. Lavender became serious and moved closer to her. "How are you feeling, Hermione?"
Hermione stared intensely at her roommate, feeling that she was going to burst into tears at any minute, but forced herself to resist. She couldn't tell Lavender the true reason of her suffering. What then was she going to tell her friend? Maybe that she was fine, but that she had just had an awful nightmare? Hermione opened and closed her mouth several times, feeling a knot in her throat that prevented her from speaking.
Lavender sat on the bed and gently caressed her ruffled hair. "You miss Harry?" she said, and Hermione nodded in silence.
"I'm sure that once he's back, you'll forget all your troubles."
Hermione felt extremely thankful for those words, even if the situation wasn't as simple as Lavender thought. She sighed deeply and finally managed to get out of bed and get ready.
In the common room, Hermione found Ron waiting for her. When she reached him, the two friends exchanged a knowing glance.
"We'll meet in class, Lavender. See you later!" Hermione said goodbye to her friend and moved to a quieter corner with Ron.
"Any news?" she whispered hopefully, but Ron slowly shook his head and Hermione lowered her gaze to the floor.
"Do you think Snape'll be at school today?" Ron asked uncertainly.
"How could he? Snape is taking care of Harry at the moment. Surely there'll be a substitute for his classes. Honestly, I don't care who teaches us today, as long as Snape does the impossible to save Harry."
"You're right!" replied Ron, looking around warily. "We should go now, I think we're attracting too much attention."
The two friends left the common room and walked along the corridors, passing other students who were rushing to reach their classes.
"If we run, we still might find something to eat!" said Ron, walking faster, but Hermione didn't seem interested.
"I'm not hungry!" she said, carelessly.
Ron stopped abruptly and turned to her with a stern look in his eyes. "If you keep starving yourself like this, you're going to be sick!"
"Why don't you stop telling me what to do and mind your own business?" Hermione was losing her temper.
"I'm just worried about you, that's all!"
"I'm sorry, Ron, but I'm in no mood for a quarrel today!" Saying these words, Hermione rushed away leaving Ron there, astonished.
Hermione ran downstairs in a fury, holding her school bag in her arms angrily. When she reached the dungeon, she didn't find the usual queue of students waiting in front of the door, meaning the teacher was already inside. She moved to the door and entered, panting heavily from of the run. In that moment, she felt everybody staring at her and to her greatest surprise, she saw Snape sternly looking at her from his desk.
"You're late, Miss Granger!" thundered the teacher. Hermione needed a few seconds to snap back to her senses; not only Snape was at school, but he was scolding her as usual.
"Are you going to remain at the door for the entire lesson?" Snape inquired.
"O-of course not! I-I'm coming!" Hermione stuttered, heading to one of the last desks close to the entrance, sitting at Lavender's side.
Snape frowned at her for a few seconds before standing up and beginning the lesson. Hermione was deeply shocked; the last thing she could've imagined was finding Snape at school that day. Thinking over it, she felt her heart starting to beat faster and faster.
Maybe something terrible happened to Harry! Maybe Snape realized there is nothing more he could do and left him alone! she thought in panic. Maybe Harry is already gone forever, and I didn't even have time to say goodbye!"
These thoughts started to wind their way through her brain like some insidious snake. Her heart was telling her that it couldn't be true, but her brain seemed to be trying to prove that horrible possibility.
Hermione felt a cold chill going down her spine and sweat started to appear on her forehead. Snape's monotonous voice echoed in her ears in a dull litany, causing her to lose focus. She felt her breath missing and raised a hand to her shirt collar, panting heavily.
"Hermione, are you all right?" asked Lavender worriedly, but Hermione didn't have the strength to reply.
Everything started whirling around her: the classroom, her classmates' faces, Snape's stern face, which was moving closer to her.
"Miss Granger! Miss Granger!"
The Potion Master's persistent voice was the last thing Hermione heard. Her eyes closed and she fainted, landing heavily on the cold floor, unconscious.
***O***
The beach was wonderful so early in the morning. The waves broke regularly against the golden sand and the water was as crystal-clear blue as the sky.
Harry felt the rays of sunshine warming his face. The previous night he had been sitting on the shore, staring at the stars and the sea. This magnificent place was far beyond anything of human imagination. He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply the fresh salty air. He had only spent a few days there, but he already knew that it was the right place for him, not only because it seemed like heaven, but most importantly because his parents were finally by his side.
Harry couldn't remember clearly how he had gotten there. His mother had come to him, and together they had passed through a gate of light leading to this fabulous astral world. When he was finally able to meet his father, Harry's happiness became complete.
James was just like in Harry's pictures, a bit taller than his son, with black, ruffled hair, and deep brown eyes behind a pair of round glasses - a nearly exact copy of Harry, only more mature.
During the days they spent together, Lily and James had shown Harry that magnificent world. Everything was infinitely beautiful, clean, and orderly. There was no injustice, death, or suffering. The inhabitants lived together peacefully, even though they were different races. In addition to humans, there was also myriad a of fairies, mermaids, gnomes, spirits, and demigods. Each of them possessed the power to modify any object or being, to change its form and even to enhance its beauty at will.
The climate was an eternal spring with occasional luminous white snow and rain of many-colored lights. There were opal lakes, bright seas, and rainbow rivers. There were no dead plants or barren land, nothing that would blemish the beauty - weeds, bacteria, or destructive insects.
Sometimes, though that world was wonderful and he didn't want to leave anymore, Harry thought he was living in a dream. Oddly, he didn't remember anything about his corporeal life, neither the faces of his friends, nor the feelings he had for them. It was as if he had removed every memory of it. He felt reborn and had no other desire than to remain with his beloved parents.
Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, Harry saw that someone was slowly approaching. He turned and smiled at his father, who sat by his side in the sand. James was wearing a simple robe that emanated a shining halo of light, just like the one Harry was wearing.
"Isn't it wonderful? The sea has always given me great strength!"
Harry nodded without swaying his gaze from James's calm face. He was greedily examining his father's features, every single wrinkle and characteristic feature of his face. They were in perfect harmony, each completely absorbed in the other's soul.
"I need to talk to you, my son. There is still a very important decision you must make and I'm here to help you to make it wisely."
Harry stared at his father, puzzled. James spoke again with a great calmness in his voice.
"You must decide either to remain here in the astral world, or to go back to earth, where you still have your life and your dearest friends."
"B-but, I don't understand! Why should I leave? Now that I've found you, I only want to remain here and never leave you again!" Harry protested. James became serious before speaking again.
"Tell me Harry. You don't remember anything about your life? Or about your friends?"
Harry thought about it for a moment and then firmly replied, "There's nothing that could make me go back. I only want to stay here with you!"
"My son, there are two reasons you've come here, where your mother and I've chosen to stay. First, we wanted to grant you your deepest wish, to meet us again. Now you know that we're fine and that we'll always take care of you." James stopped briefly, resting his hand on Harry's shoulder.
"The second reason is that we wanted to help you face a very difficult moment in your life. Even as we're speaking, your body and mind are fighting between life and death. The final outcome depends only on you."
Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing. How could it be true? He was there, with his father, and he felt perfectly alive. "It isn't true! I don't believe you!" he protested.
"If you choose to remain here with us, you're going to leave your life and your friends, who love you and are suffering for you at this very moment. I can assure you that it would only be a temporary separation from them, as true friends will always rejoin each other sooner or later. The question is, is this really what you want to do?"
Harry stared at the waves on the sea surface; his father was talking about people and situations that seemed so far away. He wondered why he would ever want to go back; he felt he didn't have any connection to his past.
"I'd like to show you something, Harry." James reached out his hand and laid it on his son's chest, right over his heart. "Now, close your eyes."
As soon as Harry did so, he saw and heard an infinite number of images and sounds racing through his mind. When everything became quiet again, a few scenes from his past appeared. Harry found himself in Knockturn Alley at night. Ron was lying on the ground unconscious and Hermione was kneeling by his side, her face tensed and worried. Harry was standing a certain distance from them, surrounded by a large group of Death Eaters.
As a detached spectator, Harry relived those last frantic moments until Bellatrix Lestrange raised her wand toward Hermione. In endless horror, Harry saw himself moving forward to protect her with his own body. When her curse hit him in the chest, Harry felt an unbearable pain in his heart, as if right then he had just realized it had nearly caused his death.
"Noooooo!" Harry shouted, his eyes widening. He stood up panting heavily, and quickly walked away, leaving his father sitting on the sand.
It's not true! It can't be true! he kept telling himself, feeling his heart beating faster. It was just one of my usual nightmares, that's all!
"Harry, wait please!" James called him from far away; Harry stopped abruptly. When his father reached him, Harry didn't turn, but remained there, listening.
"What I just showed you actually happened. It wasn't a nightmare. Nevertheless, you have nothing to fear, because you have enough strength and courage to overcome this. The chance to choose between returning to earth or remaining here in the astral world is a gift that almost no one has ever had the honor to receive."
Harry was still reliving those horrible images in his mind. Suddenly his thoughts focused on Hermione. He felt his heart overflowing with love for her. How could he ever be able to leave Hermione all alone?
"My son, if you choose to return, you must know that difficult times are waiting for you. There is no escaping the effects of the curse that caught you; you will have to face them. You may regret choosing to not remain here with us. Remember though that the love of your dearest friends will help you to go on. Your mother and I will always be with you, in spirit."
Harry slowly turned to face his father and stared intensely into his eyes before speaking. "I've already made my choice!"
***O***
"Miss Granger? Miss Granger!"
Hermione abruptly woke up and tried to lift herself to her elbows, coughing from of the strong smell of sulfur. She opened her eyes and blinked several times before realizing that she was in the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey in front of her, holding a small smoking crucible.
"Blessed girl! You don't eat any food for days and at night you don't close your eyes! How do you think you're going to stand on your feet? I keep asking myself what else I'm going to have to see before I choose to retire!" Madam Pomfrey moved away muttering to herself as Hermione lay heavily on the bed. She felt extremely weak but when she turned around and saw Snape in a corner of the room, she couldn't keep from starting and sat up quickly.
"Oh, not at all, my dear! What are you thinking? You can't stand up yet, lie back down!" Madam Pomfrey ordered, but Hermione had no intention of obeying her.
"P-professor Snape! P-please, I need to talk to you!" she called to him, but he didn't seem willing to listen. "Professor Snape..."
Suddenly, Hermione turned to the edge of the bed and stood up, feeling dizzy. With great effort, she took a few steps forward, but Madam Pomfrey rushed to her and grabbed her firmly by the shoulder.
"My goodness, Professor! This girl needs to talk to you!" The nurse was highly irritated and finally Snape came closer.
"How is Harry?" Hermione asked with a trembling voice.
"His conditions are unchanged. There is nothing new to report."
"I want to see him! Please, tell me where he's staying!" Hermione begged, but he didn't reply. "I know that Harry needs me. I only need a few minutes, just to make sure that he's..."
"Those aren't the instructions I've received from the Headmaster!" Snape cut her off in his usual cold voice.
Hermione felt an uncontrollable anger exploding inside of her, causing her to forget her weakness. She clenched her fists and shouted at her Potions Master. "How could you be so insensitive? The truth is that you want to see him dead!"
"How dare you talk to me like that!" Snape scolded her, but Hermione didn't care.
"Harry can't be alone right now! He needs his friends by his side!"
Madam Pomfrey stared at Snape and Hermione in turn, though she didn't fully understand about what they were yelling.
"You've hated him from the moment you met! I'm sure you don't care about his life! I'll tell you this, Professor," Hermione stared intensely at Snape before finishing her sentence, "if Harry dies, you're going to have him on your conscience, and no one will be there to forgive you!"
Snape's eyes widened in dismay.
"Come on, Miss Granger, you should lie down now," said the nurse, pushing her gently to the bed. Hermione had said what she wanted and followed her without any resistance.
"I'm going to speak to the Headmaster! Be ready. But if you want to follow me, you'll have to put something in your stomach first!" said Snape abruptly.
Hermione stared at him with her mouth open, deeply astonished. Snape then turned to the door and quickly exited the room.
***O***
The bedroom was cold and dark, a strong smell of mold permeating the atmosphere. Hermione entered with slow steps, squinting her eyes in hopes of being able to see something, anything.
Snape, in the meantime, had gone over to the window. He opened the curtains, letting a ray of light come in. Hermione was blinded for a moment and then raised a hand to her eyes. When she finally became adjusted to the light, she could see a large canopy bed in a corner of the room. Lying on it was the motionless body of a boy. In a heartbeat, she was at his side and felt a painful lurch in her stomach.
Harry looked extremely pale. He had deep black circles under his eyes and was quite a bit thinner. He was wearing simple pajamas and clean white bed sheets covered the bed, meaning that Snape had cared for him, after all.
Hermione grabbed Harry's hand and felt that it was freezing. With her other hand, she brushed away his black hair, which fell messily onto his forehead.
"Oh, Harry, you don't know how much I've missed you. I was going crazy without you," she whispered, hoping that he could hear her. After all those days filled with doubt and suffering, she couldn't keep from crying. Tears fell down her face, but she quickly wiped them away with her sleeve. When Harry wakes up, he can't see me crying! she thought determinedly. I have to be strong for both of us!
Snape silently swept forward like a ghost and stared at the boy by Hermione's side. "It's time to go now." His stern voice brought Hermione back to reality. Unfortunately, she had permission to remain there for only a few minutes. For security reasons, she would have return to Hogwarts immediately.
"Harry, I'm sorry, but I can't stay here any longer; I wish I could. Don't worry, I'll be back soon, I promise." Hermione slowly leaned forward and hesitated for an instant in front of his lips. She then moved a few centimeters up and gave him a kiss on the forehead.
In that exact moment, she felt her hand being squeezed firmly. Hermione's eyes widened in surprise as she stared at Harry's face, which was still motionless.
Making a tremendous effort, he managed to move his lips, speaking only one word.
"H-her-mi-o-ne..."
*The description of the astral world is taken from the book "Autobiography of a Yogi", written by Swami Paramahansa Yogananda, page. 402.
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