CHAPTER 10 Breakdown
Ginny trudged to the top of the stairs and let her bag drop to the floor with a satisfying thunk. She was certain that her brain was going to explode; she just hoped it would hold out long enough to make it through her O.W.L.s. She ignored the happy chatter from her roommates and stripped off her clothes. She reached into her trunk for her nightshirt and came up with the thin t-shirt Draco had left in her room. Ginny stared at the shirt and blinked. Draco. Draco's shirt. She had stuffed it to the bottom of the trunk, and here it was, popping up again. They hadn't exchanged any words it all since the day in the dungeon, exactly four weeks and 2 days ago. Ginny had tried not to think about him, which was easier than she had imagined; she just studied and studied and if he began to cross her mind, she studied some more.
It was hard to see him in the corridors though. He was always alone with a scowl attached to his face, quick to hand out detention to anyone in his way. Hermione said he didn't even hardly speak in classes anymore, not even in Hagrid's class.
"Are you okay?" Zoë's voice rattle Ginny out of her thoughts.
"Yeah. I'm fine."
"You were just standing there." Zoë looked so worried Ginny forced a smile.
"Really." No, no, no, no. "Really." Ginny dove into her bed without pulling any clothes on. Why am I crying?
"Ginny!" Zoë and Bianca exchanged quick glances and Zoë jumped on the bed. "What?"
"Here." Bianca shoved Draco's t-shirt at her. "Here's your night clothes."
Ginny began to cry harder. "I'm sorry. I'm just tired. Stress, I think."
Bianca nodded. "You just need some sleep."
"I know," Ginny sobbed. "Would you mind handing me a different shirt though? This one is . . . uncomfortable."
"Sure." Zoë handed her a long sleeved hand me down flannel shirt of Bill's. "Is this okay?"
"Yeah," Ginny nodded, wiping her eyes. "It's perfect."
"Is it Draco?"
The tears began again. "I don't want to talk about him."
"Are you sure, Gin-gin?" Bianca whispered.
"You'll feel better," Zoë added.
"I just want to go to bed," Ginny shook her head. "Goodnight." She pulled the curtains around her and gasped for air. I miss Draco. Ginny shook her head. She couldn't miss Draco. There was no way. She barely knew him. All they had done was go to a dance together and nothing else. Well, except for the serious snogging session in her bed, which obviously hadn't meant a thing to him. He was horrible, selfish, a snobby, self centered git and she had no intentions of letting him get to her. Except he already had. Some days he looked so alone she wanted to throw her arms around him, brush his hair out of his silver eyes, and kiss him. Kiss him. Michael Corner was a bit on the sloppy side. Dean Thomas was okay. But Draco, Draco could melt her. She couldn't understand why his lips pressing against hers sent thrills through her body and made her feel so incredible. The way he kissed her with his entire body pressed into hers, sucking on her lower lip with his hands splayed through her hair sent shockwaves through her body. I miss Draco.
***
Ginny slowly became aware of a noise that was keeping her from sleeping, nothing terribly distracting, but something that was just not quite right. She kept her eyes shut and listened to the darkness. Uneven breathing. Someone wasn't asleep. Who? It was coming heavily and it was . . . She listened carefully. Oh dear Merlin. It was coming from her bed. She lay perfectly still, unable to decide what to do. She was torn between screaming and diving off the bed, and just as she had decided to dive off the bed, the person next to her moved. Ginny let out a scream, but was cut off by a hand clamping down on her face. She tried to sit up, but it drove her back into her pillow, and suddenly she remembered that neither she nor Hermione had bothered to take the silencing charm off her bed. No one could hear her.
She squeezed her eyes shut, and when she opened them, Draco's face was only inches from hers.
Ginny didn't know whether to cry or laugh or hit him. Slowly he removed his hand from her mouth. She sat up and stared at him. "What are you doing here?"
"Taking you up on your offer!" he snapped, glaring at her.
"My offer?" she repeated weakly. Why was he here? Why did he have to see her like this, looking so pathetic with red puffy eyes from crying herself to sleep and with his t-shirt at the end of her bed like a shrine?
Draco drew his knees up to his chest and suddenly looked so dismal and sad, she was afraid. He buried his head in his knees and rocked back and forth, back and forth.
Ginny stared at him. What was she supposed to do? Draco Malfoy was having a nervous breakdown on her bed, and the last time she'd been alone with him, he had physically forced her from the room. "Draco? What happened?"
He began mumbling to his knees, and Ginny had to scoot closer to hear.
"I just got an owl from my father and he thinks this would be an ideal time for me to start following around that stupid Muggle born who calls himself the Dark Lord." Except he didn't say stupid. Instead, he used words Ginny barely dared to think.
Ginny didn't know what to tell him. She sat perfectly still, waiting.
"I'm not. I am not going to do that," he hissed, looking up. "I am not going to slave away to someone else like my pathetic father!"
"How can you be a Death Eater?" Ginny asked quietly. "You're still in school."
Draco let out a single, bitter laugh. "He wrote that the Dark Lord understood that I was still in school, so I couldn't join in all the festivities, but I would be immensely helpful as a spy inside the school."
He put his head back in his knees and began rocking himself again.
Ginny carefully scooted over until she was next to him and put her arms around him. "It's okay. It's okay." Please don't cry. I don't know what to do with boys who cry.
"It's not okay!" he spat.
She didn't know what to tell him, what to think, or what to say to the only person who had even managed to so thoroughly trash her heart, and in such a short period of time.
"I'm not going to do what he wants me to. For once, I'm going to do what I want to do," he said finally. He liked the way Ginny fit neatly against him, her hands in his, her sides pressed against his own, her lips on his. She fit him. He let go of his knees and used his hands to cup her face. "I've missed you."
She melted into his touch without a second though, craving him, needing him, letting him tug her shirt off and kick to the floor and helping her do the same to him. As before, she kept her knickers on and his boxers stayed in place. He covered her face with kisses before moving to her ears, her neck and then onto her bared chest. This time, when his hand slid down her sides and under the elastic band of her knickers, she didn't protest. His fingers made their way between her legs and on instinct she adjusted so Draco could access her. She let out a gasp as his first finger entered her, and then the other, stroking her until warm waves of pleasure filled her abdomen and she was thankful that the silencing charm was still on her bed.
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