In answer to all your reviews, yes, of course Draco will be making his appearance shortly. I mean, if he really was dead, what would be the point of posting this story on this site?? It just felt like there was a lot of background detail that needed to be covered before I could get that far. Draco was scheduled to appear in chapter 7, but thanks to great suggestions from my beta and y'all, he may arrive in chapter 6. xoxoxoxoxo
CHAPTER 5 Inside Out
In the three days following the memorial service, Ginny had overheard what felt like ten thousand snide comments about Draco from her brothers.
"She can't be serious, can she?"
"That bloody prat Malfoy did something to her, I know he did."
"I'll kill that git if he ever shows up again."
"Hopefully he's dead and Gin will just get over him."
"I bet he was the one responsible for kidnapping her."
"Do you think she really cares about him? She's been moping around since she got back."
"Why did you promise her you'd find out about him, Ron? Why don't we go kill him?"
Of course, the talking always stopped when they saw her in the room. There was no way to make them believe her; after all, she wasn't the girl they remembered. She didn't have any interest in flying with them, didn't laugh at Fred and George's jokes, didn't eat, couldn't sleep. She was skinnier than they recalled, quieter than they wanted her to be. She sat in her mum's garden, staring into nothing for hours on end while they talked about her.
"What do you think happened to her while she was there? I mean, what hasn't she told us?"
"Dunno. That place . . . we heard about rapes and murders and tortures."
"You sure she's not under any spell?"
"None that we could figure out. Dumbledore'll be here soon. He's gonna search her memories. If there's anything, he'll find it."
"Would he tell us?"
"Yeah, it's Dumbledore!"
"I dunno though."
"What about that scar on her lip? She always touches it."
Even Charlie, who had been the most reliable, the one she could always count on to take her side joined in the conversations with the rest of her family. Charlie, who had literally bowled her over when she flooed him to let him know she was home; Charlie who had always supported her and her decisions. The voices and their words began to blend together until she didn't know or even care who was saying what. It all meant the same thing. They didn't trust her, didn't believe her, and even if Draco was alive and still wanted her, they would never accept him.
***
"Are you ready?" Dumbledore asked, carefully placing a pensive on the table in front of her.
Ginny nodded, her actions stronger than her feelings. Her mother had wanted to stay with her, but it was Bill who convinced her to leave Ginny alone with Dumbledore. She had begged Ron to send him; she couldn't stand it anymore, and had the sneaking feeling that Ron knew more about Draco's whereabouts than he was letting on.
"What we will do," Dumbledore told her softly, "is I will use my wand and say the spell, and your memories will all be placed in this pensive. Then we will watch them."
"My memories?" she questioned.
"Almost like copies of your memories," he admitted. "You will retain them, and when we are through, we will dispose of them."
"Some of them, I don't want to keep."
He eyed her carefully. "Perhaps you should look into a pensive of your own."
She nodded silently.
"We'll need to start with the night you were taken."
Ginny nodded again. "I don't remember much of that."
Dumbledore watched her over the tops of his small glasses, his eyes betraying a sadness as he looked at her. He pulled out his wand, and said quietly, "Salvargio."
Ginny felt as if a cold fog was creeping through the crevices of her brain, and just as quickly, it was all sucked out. She watched, fascinated as the small gray smoke cloud began to whirl and then dropped itself into the pensive. Dumbledore tapped his wand on the top of the bowl and the liquid began to spin.
"Let's go."
Ginny took his hand and they leaned over the bowl, leaning and leaning until the two of them had tipped head first and were falling. They landed on their feet, and Ginny watched, a great sadness filling her, as her past self danced and drank with Colin and Zoë. She reached out for them, but her hand passed through them. Ghosts, she reminded herself. They're not really here.
"Are you guys ready?" Hannah shouted over the music. "It's almost 2!"
"Just a few more songs," Zoë shouted.
"What?"
"Just a-"
"CRUCIO!" The unforgivable curse erupted, and witches and wizards began to fall and screams filled the air.
"What's happening?" Ginny heard someone scream, but inside she already knew what was happening.
"Get down!" she screamed, pulling Zoë and Colin to the floor with her. "We've got to get out of here and get the Order."
"Where's Hannah?" Colin shouted.
"She knows what to do!" Zoë answered.
They scurried for the walls, unable to apparate inside the building. They were nearly to the wall, and once they reached the wall, they could just blast it out of their way if they had to.
"Going somewhere?"
Ginny felt a hand on her hair, and before she could react, a sharp pain hit her head, and the room went black.
Ginny watched as Dumbledore calmly sorted through her memories, observing Luna silently as she was taken from the dungeon multiple times a day. Ginny felt hot tears streaming down her face, but she stood still, unable to escape her own memories.
"It's your turn, Weasley slut, let's go."
She watched herself being dragged down the hallway, thrown into the room where Draco waited, and turned her head away as Draco bounced her body off the walls, determined to break her. She peeked a glance at Dumbledore and saw that his face was still blank. The memories grew more painful, as he watched her clean Draco's shoes and room, Percy get tortured and Draco pinch her thighs until they bled, his foot leaving the white scar on her face, Narcissa bathing her, and finally Draco allowing Luna to leave. The memories kept spinning by and Ginny relived the evening Marcus Flint told her he'd be looking for her, and the way she had offered herself to Draco the night his father died, how Draco had forced her back to the dungeons, and how he had rescued her from Flint and stopped her from killing herself, and finally, embarrassingly, the intimacy she and Draco shared. They watched her memories all the way up until she watched Draco take her to Malfoy Manor and leave her there.
"I suppose we can go now," Dumbledore said, looking down at Ginny.
The strange sensation of falling in reverse washed over Ginny and when the fog cleared, she found herself back in the Burrow, staring across the kitchen table at Dumbledore.
There was a long silence before he spoke. "This isn't quite the story you told your family, is it?"
"No," she admitted quietly, brushing away tears that were still flowing. "I couldn't tell them some of those things."
"While it is clear that he eventually saved your life, I am still not sure why. However, some things, I suppose, are not to be known. People do change. I have always believed that people can change."
"Is it enough to pardon him?" she asked slowly. Seeing Draco again, looking solid and real had unnerved her. Watching and reliving it as he backhanded her and kicked her, and then watching herself offer him her virginity left her reeling with mixed feelings.
Dumbledore stared at her heavily. "Although he did not kill you or rape you, I daresay he did abuse you. Maybe not at the end, but Mr. Malfoy is not innocent."
"He saved my life though," she answered defiantly. "Don't you think he changed? I do. I forgave him."
"What about the other people? Who did he hurt that you did not see?"
"I don't know," she admitted. "But he saved me and he saved Luna."
He nodded. "Although she will never know it, he did show more mercy for her than I would have thought possible."
Ginny bit her lip and stared at the table. "I know," she said finally. "Back at Hogwarts, I wouldn't have thought I would care for him so much."
"It would appear, that Mr. Malfoy already knew of Neville's death, since she has no memory of him either."
"I think he did."
"Do you think he had anything to do with it?"
"I hope not."
Dumbledore sighed deeply. "War, as you already know, can make people into things that they are not. It can make a person behave in the most atrocious, offensive ways possible. I do believe that Mr. Malfoy grew to care about you, and I know now that he did save your life, and Ms. Longbottom's. If your brother and Harry can accept that, the Wizengamot will also."
Ginny nodded happily, feeling tears heat up her eyes. "Thank you."
"You were very brave, Ginny," Dumbledore told her softly. "More brave than I could have ever imagined. Neville and Luna will no doubt agree."
"No," she whispered. "I don't want her to have to remember any of that."
"Do you know where Mr. Malfoy is?" Dumbledore asked her.
She shook her head. "I have no idea. I don't even know if he is alive. Ron said he'd do some searching and let me know."
Dumbledore stood and gathered his pensive. "Good luck, Ms. Weasley."
Ginny dropped her head to the table and began to cry. She was still crying when her mother joined her.
"Dumbledore had a talk with Ron, and Ron wants to see you," her mum said quietly.
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