CHAPTER 8 Not Dreams
"What?" Ginny shut her eyes, took a deep breath and then looked at the chair again. Draco was now standing in front of it, his eyes narrowed.
"They weren't dreams. At least, not all of them. I came . . . when you were here."
"How?" she asked, hardly daring to believe him.
"I could apparate here, like mum said."
"How did you get back?"
"I used the reverse apparation charm," he said, his voice low.
"The what?" She had never heard of that before.
"It's complicated," he said. "If you can do it, you can apparate right back to where you came from."
She eyed him warily. "Then why couldn't you stay?"
"I didn't know!" he insisted, his voice taking on a desperate tone she had never heard before. "I didn't know the Dark Lord was gone. Did you think the Ministry was gonna owl us and say `Oh by the way, he's gone, so come on home now'? We're still responsible for what we did!"
"Draco-"
"The first time I came here you were asleep in my bed and you asked if I was real. I said I was and when it was all over, I was coming back for you."
Ginny stared at him. Those mornings when she woke up alone, his taste on her lips and his touch still on her skin, they were real. When she thought she could still smell him in the air, or feel the throb of sore muscles after a night of dreaming about sex with Draco, that was real. Every day she had spent wondering about him, agonizing over him, and he had been coming to her in her sleep.
"Remember? And then I told you that I loved you."
"Do you?" Ginny finally asked. "Do you still?"
He nodded and swallowed. "I do. I love you."
Her knees went weak and Ginny allowed herself to drop to the couch and bury her head in her hands.
"Don't leave me again," Draco whispered, kneeling in front of her, trying to make her look up. "I came here one night and you were gone. I couldn't bring myself to go ask mum..... I didn't want to know the truth.... if it meant you . . . you were gone."
She raised her head to look at Draco; the Draco who knelt before her was not the same Draco he had been when she first came to the prison, or even the Draco she left behind. "I missed you so, so much."
An unknown swelling bubbled up in Draco's stomach as he circled his arms around her. He had truly thought she was dead. He had left with Nathaniel Nott and several other Death Eaters only days after the Dark Lord had destroyed the prison. They hadn't done their job, and inevitably, they would be destroyed next. What the Dark Lord couldn't use, he didn't keep. Draco didn't like the idea of running away and hiding, but death didn't appeal to him much either, so when he found out Nott was heading out, it only took a few seconds to decide what he was going to do.
But he still had Ginny. He could come to her occasionally, when he thought it was safe and pretend for just a few hours that things were as they should be. Then one night he arrived and found the bed empty, and he truly thought she was dead. There was no other explanation for her absence; after all, they had received no word of the Dark Lord's death. What else could he think? Anyone from the prison with half a brain could have linked her to him, and it didn't take a genius to sort through the facts and figure out where she might be hiding. That was when he thought that death may not be such a terrible idea. He didn't know what lay after the mortal life, but he was nearly certain that Ginny would be waiting for him. Yet, in the end, he couldn't bring himself to do it. As much as he was convinced that he missed Ginny, he couldn't bring himself to end his own life. It didn't seem right. He had decided to return home under cover and stay there until this mess was over, so when Ginny walked in his room, he didn't trust his own eyes. It didn't make sense.
"Stay with me," Draco asked her. "Don't leave."
He felt her nod against him, and for the first time in his life, he felt some sense of peace.
***
"We'll have to arrange for the Wizengamot to meet quickly," Ron told them as they ate dinner together that evening. "The quicker we do it, the easier it will be for Harry and me to pardon you."
Draco nodded curtly, his distrust of Ron still apparent, and Ron's dislike of him still glowing in his eyes.
Narcissa reached across the table and squeezed Draco's hand. "The sooner, the better. Once this is all over, we can get back to our normal lives!"
Normal lives? Ginny thought. What are normal lives? Life before prison and war and Draco is too long gone to remember. Besides, things are too far changed for me to ever go back, even if I did want to. She snuck a glance at Draco, and the expression on his face told her that he was thinking the same thing.
After dinner, after the small talk, Narcissa left the room to find a bottle of wine and Draco followed her out. Ron glanced at Ginny. "We should go home. We need to let Dumbledore know what is going on, and let mum know we're safe."
Ginny focused her attention on her tea cup. "I'm going to stay here tonight."
Ron's cheeks flushed red. "Do you really think that's such a good idea?"
"Ron, it will be fine."
"Ginny," he hissed, "we did what we set out to do. There's nothing else for you to do here! Everything now is up to the Wizengamot!"
"I can't leave him, Ron," she told him softly, still staring at the table top. "Things are different now. Things aren't ever going to be the same as they used to be."
"Of course they are. After this is all over, we'll settle down-"
"And then what?" she asked sharply. "You think I can forget everything that happened to me, to my family? This isn't the time to discuss it. I don't want to have a row with you!"
"Right then," he said, sucking in a deep breath. They were sitting in silence when Draco and his mum came back, and Ron gave Narcissa a hug, shook Draco's hand a bit too tight, and then offered a weak pat on the back to Ginny. "I'll be expecting you at breakfast."
Ginny felt guilty for staying at the Manor on Draco's first night home; after all, his mother hadn't spent as much time with him as she had in the last year. She stayed silent, growing drowsy and comfortable as she sat pressed into Draco's side, listening to Draco and Narcissa talk, and drank her wine, growing warm with the atmosphere. She didn't even know how much time had passed when she felt Narcissa lean down to kiss her forehead.
"Goodnight dear," she said.
Ginny sat up and glanced at Draco. "Sorry. I was so tired."
"It's fine," he assured her. "Come on, I'll take you to bed."
Ginny stood and he laced his fingers through hers. True, he was a bit thinner than she remembered - or preferred - but he was still as gorgeous as ever. His blond hair was a bit longer now, hanging nearly to his jaw, but his skin was still smooth and pale and his eyes were still liquid silver, like mercury.
They entered his room and Ginny glanced around, the memories and dreams flooding her. "I really thought they were all dreams," she told him slowly. Draco just nodded and kissed her forehead, then her nose, and finally her lips. She let herself melt into his arms and kissed back. He eased the Muggle style shirt over her head, and bend down, burying his head in her neck and then her breasts. "I've missed you so much," his voice rose to her ears.
She fumbled to remove his robes, his shirt, and finally his trousers. "Don't leave me again."
"I promise, I promise."
They tumbled into his bed, kissing, the bed with those clean black sheets, softer than silk. He slid between her legs and entered her slowly, as slow and careful as he had been the first time. The sex was slow and unhurried, making up for all the time lost, and each time Ginny would think her body could handle no more pleasure, another wave would wash over her. Eventually she collapsed beneath him and moments later he gave way, and they held each other, still tangled together while drifting to sleep.
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