After catching Dobby near the Entrance Hall, where they collected their picnic basket, they continued out the front doors and strode off across the grass. Hermione, who had been certain they were heading to the lake, was surprised when Harry steered them in the direction of the Forbidden Forest.
"Are you sure about this Harry? The forest? Is that really a place we want to be eating?"
"Are you a Gryffindor or not?" His eyes twinkled.
"Of course, but I'm also Head Girl, Harry. I'm supposed to set a good example."
"Loosen up, Hermione. Besides, I have something I want to show you."
And so they continued on in silence. The day was bright and sunny. She was glad that the weather was back to normal after the past few cold and cloudy days they had seen. It was, after all, the beginning of summer. Hermione just wouldn't have felt right graduating under stormy skies. Shifting the picnic basket to his other side, Harry took hold of her fingers with his free hand. "You're thinking about graduation, aren't you?"
Slightly surprised, she decided to be truthful. Harry had seemed to develop new, stronger powers since the Defeat. While Hermione hadn't considered this a bad thing, she now felt invaded by his new attempts at mind reading. "Yes."
"Don't worry. It'll be soon enough. N.E.W.T.s will be over next week and it'll be smooth sailing after that. We both know there's no way you could do badly on them." They had entered into the trees now, and Harry's fingers remained entwined with hers. She didn't know why this made her feel so light-headed. She had held Harry's hand several times before this. But perhaps because this was the first time they had done it when not in a life threatening situation, Hermione allowed herself to think more of it.
They traveled deeper into the forest and Hermione was beginning to become concerned about whether Harry could find their way back out again. Just when she was about to suggest turning back and heading for the calm shore of the lake, they stepped into a small clearing. The sun shone down onto the little patch of grass and Hermione could see several butterflies flickering just over the earth.
"Oh Harry, it's beautiful!" she exclaimed, positively glowing with delight.
"I knew you'd like it," he said, studying her eyes as they roamed the little meadow. "Hagrid showed it to me last year. I thought it might come in handy some day." They walked forward into the clearing and began to spread the blanket over the lush grass. They chatted as they ate. Small things. How much they would both miss Hogwarts. What their plans were beyond school. Hermione had already been offered jobs at the Ministry, The Daily Prophet and not to mention her share of teaching positions. Harry had also been offered a job within the Ministry and countless Quidditch bids. Neither of them could decide what to do next. As of late, Hermione had been toying with the idea of studying to become a Healer, which Harry had assured her thousands of times she would excel at.
After the sandwiches had disappeared, they lay watching the birds twitter amongst the trees. Then, a serious expression crossing his face, Harry turned towards her. Looking at him, she couldn't help but noticed some of the small scars he had acquired during the Defeat. They were small, really, but hurt her to look at all the same. Thinking of what Harry had gone through that night, alone, still kept her up at night. Often, she quietly cried herself to sleep. It made her ache that Harry could not confide in her. She had always thought that he could tell her anything. But lately…
"Listen, Hermione…"
"What is it Harry?" Hermione asked, giving him a concerned look to match his serious one.
"Well, I brought you here to talk to you. You know, about things…"
Things? Honestly! She could kill those Dursleys for the emotional constipation they had created in her Harry!
He took her hand in his as they both sat up. He turned toward her and they sat cross-legged, knee to knee, and he looked directly into her eyes. Then he let out a deep sigh, frowning slightly, and gripped both of her hands tighter.
"W-When I fought Voldemort before; it always seemed to be out of anger." She could tell he was struggling which could only mean on thing; this was it, Harry was going to let it all out. She nodded to let him know that it was alright to continue. She knew that if she interrupted him now; he'd probably never get it out. "I wanted to avenge my parents or Sirius, or anybody else he'd turned his wand on. After fifth year, when I found out about the prophecy, I felt dead already. I acted dead. I kept replaying it in my head `neither can live while the other survives.' I just knew I was going to die.
"All of sixth year, I just seemed to float around, as if I didn't really exist. I detached myself from everyone. You, Ron, everyone. I had given up on myself early on. We spent that summer after sixth year with the Weasley's. I gave up…" he trailed off. She could tell he was trying to muster all the strength he had to go on. She squeezed his hand affectionately. He closed his eyes and let out a sigh, then brought them back to her, looking into her eyes again. "You walked in on me as I leaned up against the bathtub with that razor blade in my hand. You weren't angry. You didn't start shouting. This look just crossed your face and you came in and closed the door. You walked right over to me and sat down facing me on my lap. I just remember clinging to you and sobbing.
"I don't think I'll forget that moment for as long as I live Hermione. The day you saved me from myself.
"So this year, I redoubled my efforts. For you. I had wasted enough time the year before feeling sorry for myself. Every training session, I thought of you. I still didn't think more of our relationship. I knew we loved each other, but I still had it in my head that it was a brother-sister love." He smiled and ran a hand through her curls, shooting sparks through her body.
"Then the night I got word that I would be leaving the next morning…you asked me to stay with you." He paused to relax his hand atop Hermione's again. "I remember waking up in your dorm. I spooned up against you on your bed, and you were snuggled down in the blankets. I could smell your hair, it smelled like peaches. Both of your hands were clutched around the arm I had draped over your side. I don't know how long I lay atop the blankets listening to you breathe…five minutes, an hour maybe? Then I left you.
"Hermione, that night…I-I didn't defeat Voldemort with my training or any vast knowledge of spells," he whispered, "I defeated him because of you. When I left your room that night, I had a new reason to stop him. It had nothing to do with vengeance or death…it was about life. It was…I wanted…well, a life with you." He smiled. Hermione couldn't help but feel hot around her ears and felt tears streaming down her face.
"This whole time the answer had been right in front of me; `a power the Dark Lord knows not.' Love. You.
"I love you, Hermione."
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