I know its a quick post which I'm sure a lot of you will be happy with as all your reviews asked when I'll be updating, so here you are chapter 5. Chapter 6, 7 and 8 are being checked so your shouldn't have to wait too long for them.
Thanks again to Tom my beta-reader!!!
Enjoy the chapter and please review.
Thank you
Chapter 5 (The Confession)
Hermione stood rooted to the ground, had Harry just admitted he loved her. His eyes were staring at her; they were so intense she forgot everything apart from the green shine they were projecting. Harry then turned and made his way to the sofa sitting down with a soft thud; he put his head in his hands and began to breathe deeply. Hermione's eyes didn't leave him for a moment watching as he fought to control his anger and his emotions. His hands shaking slightly as they held his head, is chest rising and falling as he breathed in huge amounts of air desperate to keep control himself. But Hermione didn't make a move, she didn't even know if she could. If she moved away from the support of the wall she would fall, so she stood there, watching…waiting.
Harry held his head in his hands and breathed deeply, willing himself to calm down. Today was just a mess and was moving to fast things just kept happening one after the other. Finally he lifted his head and looked at Hermione once again she hadn't moved a muscle. Harry knew now was the time, he had to tell her everything and tell her the truth. He lifted himself slowly off the sofa and walked over to the window.
"I…" he paused not sure how to start "After this morning..." He closed his eyes and breathed out before continuing. "After this morning when Sirius and Remus came… Dumbledore had received word that Voldemort had been seen in the area. He told me that the final battle would soon begin and it would be up to me." Harry took another deep breathe he's voice was shaking but he pushed himself to tell her the truth. "That's why I ignored you in your room, I had been thinking and the last thing that I wanted was for Voldemort to find out my feelings for you. So I pushed you away, thought it was for the best, so I decided if I didn't see you, if I stayed clear it would make it easier, less painful . That's when Snape returned with important news; he asked me to come get you so I did."
Harry turned to face Hermione who still hadn't been able to move from her position over at the door. "You were fast sleep." his eyes seemed to haze over with unshed tears but he blinked then away as quickly as they had came "You looked so beautiful and peaceful, I couldn't wake you so I waited. I'm sorry I know I was harsh and I didn't mean it, you have to understand."
But still Hermione didn't speak so Harry continued once again. "When Snape said about Wormtail spying on us I panicked, and my fears were confirmed in the letter. Voldemort knew and that was the last thing I wanted."
Harry turned once again to watch his reflection in the glass window. The night outside was black and not a thing could be seem. "I've wanted to tell you for so long, but I never could. I was too scared. Scared you wouldn't feel the same, scared of rejection, scared of ruining our friendship. But scared most of all of what Voldemort might do if he found out. I couldn't live with myself if he ever used you just to get back at me. I would give my life in a heartbeat if it meant he wouldn't hurt you."
Silence fill the room, as Hermione listened tears began to fall she had waited so long for Harry to open up to her, to say he loved her and now he was.
"I don't want you in the fight Hermione, not because I don't think you can't handle yourself because I know you can. But because I couldn't handle it, I couldn't bare the thought of you being hurt, possible killed"
Hermione was weak and tired her body was giving up and she need to sit down but there was no way she was going to make it over to the sofa. She watched Harry's back as he stared out the window. He'd stopped talking a few minutes ago and the silence was deafening.
Harry saw the reflection of Hermione move from the door way along the wall till she came to a book self in her way. Instead of moving round she just slid down till she was sitting on the floor with her back against the wall. Harry watched carefully he could see the tears falling from her eyes but she didn't say a word. Harry lowered his head and took one final breath before turning round, slowing he walked over to where Hermione was sitting and knelt down so he was eye level with her.
"I'm not sending you away because I want you to go, or because it would make things more comfortable, I don't even know if I'll cope without by my side, but I'm doing it for your protection." He waited for a response but nothing came. "The choice is yours, I'm leaving it up to you, and it's your decision to make not mine. You have more right then anyone to be here and I won't force you to leave…"
Harry brought his hand up to her face and wiped away the tears but they were just replaced with new ones.
"This morning wasn't a mistake, not for me. I've always thought I'd never know what true love was, but that changed with you. Never before in the whole 20 years of my life had I felt a feeling which even came close to what I felt when I was with you. I will never forget it." Harry moved his hands and cupped her face. "I am in love with you Hermione Granger and I am sorry for any confusion, anger or hurt I have caused you today, it's hurting me to see you this way, and I hope you can forgive me."
Harry leaned in and lightly presses his lips to hers. In that one small moment of contact Harry poured out his heart to the women he loved. That kiss ended much too soon for the both of them. Hermione remained still wanting to tell Harry that she loved him too but unable to open her mouth to speak.
Harry pushed himself up to his feet and just stood there for a few minutes. "The portkey will be here in a few days but it's up to you." And with that he walked over to the door and left quietly.
Hermione remained on the floor staring at the door in disbelief.
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Hermione wasn't sure how long she had been sitting on the floor for, but the muscles in her legs were protesting as she stood. She needed to get out talk to someone. Before she could control her body it had stared moving and in a few minutes she was standing in front of Ron and Lavender's room. As the memories of Harry confession filled her mind a new set of tears began to form, wiping at her eyes fiercely trying to get the tears to stop as she knocked on the door.
No one answered, Hermione knocked again although this time a little bit harder. It was the middle of the night where the hell could they be. Another knock and then another until the sound of a very angry person approached the door. Flinging open the door a very angry Ron Weasley stood there his face matching the colour of his hair (which was flattened on one side) wearing only his boxers and a cotton T-shirt.
"What the hell..." Ron began "Shit Herm's do you know what time it is? Its 1 am what are...?" That's when he finally notice the tears "What happened?" he said with an urgency
"Harry said." tears clouded her eyes and her throats tighten stopping her speech all she could do was fall in to Ron arms and cry.
"Lavender get down here now!" Ron shouted up stairs and he guided Hermione over to the sofa and sat her down. Detangling himself he moved back over to shut the door.
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Harry hadn't returned to his room after his talk with Hermione, he just wondered around the castle in a kind trance. Before he knew where he was walking or how long it had been he found himself out side Sirius room.
Harry knocked lightly but no one answered, so he knocked again a little harder. This time a faint noise to be heard from in side the room. Suddenly the door flow open and there stood a very pissed-off looking Sirius Black.
"What the ..." It took a few seconds for Sirius to notice it was his Godson standing in front of him.
"Harry its 1 am what are you doing?"
Harry looked down at his watch for the first time that night. "Sorry I didn't realise it was so late. I was just walking round and..." Harry didn't know what else to say.
Sirius open the door further allowing Harry to go in. Harry made his way over to the sofa and sat down staring at the floor while Sirius closed the door and sat in the chair close by.
"So who do I own this unexpected meeting to?" He's eyes not moving of his godson for a second, but he didn't say a word. "What happened with Hermione?"
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"Hone, tell us what happened," Lavender spoke softy stroking Hermione's hair while she cried into her shoulder.
"Harry," Was the only thing she managed to choke out.
Ron was sitting on the floor in front of her his hands clenched in fists, waiting to find out why one of his best friends was in his room at 1 am crying her eyes out.
"What happened to Harry? Sweetie did something happen to Harry?" Ron was now on his feet grabbing his robe and making for the door. "Ron wait!!" Lavender called and turning back the Hermione she asked again. "Sweetie we need to know if something has happened to Harry."
"He's…fine," Hermione sniffed
"Can you tell me what happened? Did Harry do something to you?" Hermione just shook her head "Did he say something to you? Did you have another argument?"
Hermione nodded and more tears began to fall. Ron couldn't take this anymore after what had happen in the meeting he was going to sort this out. "I'm going to find the little bugger and fine out what the hell he thinks he's doing, he's got no right I tell you," Making his way to the door for a third time.
"No Ron don't" Hermione shouted "he didn't do anything, don't go please." She begged
"Hermione look at your self. Your crying your eyes out at one in the morning what the hell did he say to you?" Ron and Lavender looked at their friend expectantly.
"He told me... said." Hermione fought hard to get the words out. "He said that..."
"Said what honey?" Lavender asked
"Said he…he was in love with me."
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"You told her you loved her? Well that's good isn't it? Sirius asked not seeing what the problem was, but Harry just shook his head. "Start from the beginning what happened."
Harry stiffed in his seat, "After the meeting,… sorry about the windows by the way."
"Hey don't worry about it!"
"Well after the meeting I went to talk to her, I wanted her to understand why I didn't want her
fighting, but we got into another fight. I mean all we have been doing since we-" Harry paused not really wanting
to tell Sirius details about this morning by the lake. "All we've done is fight" He put his head in his
hands, "everything's just screwed up."
"What really happened this morning Harry? Did you even talk about it or just listen to your instincts?"
Harry looked up at his godfathers and the Sirius saw all he need to know to that question in Harry's eyes.
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"You did what!" Ron shouted
"We didn't mean it to happen, it just kind of did! It's not like we'd planned it to happen." Hermione cried
"That's why things have been a bit tense between you two." Hermione nodded to Lavenders question.
"Did you guys even talk about it? Did you say anything?"
"If just kind of happened so fast and then before we could sort things out Sirius and Remus showed up. He had news from Dumbledore." Hermione played with the tissue in her hands "He said we'd talk later but …" She let out a sob.
"What happened?" Ron asked taking hold of Hermione's hand and giving it a squeeze.
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"I just ignored her!" Harry was up walking around now unable to keep himself still and Sirius wasn't having that much lucky either.
"Harry Please calm down it's."
"I was such a bastard! How could I do that to her?"
"Harry stop pacing and tell me what happened… you ignored her then what." He asked as Harry sat himself down.
"We got into a big fight in the corridor."
"Ahh… yeah I should've remembered."
Harry head jerked upwards staring at his godfather not understanding his last statement. Sirius seeming to recognise this and thought he'd better explain.
"The walls aren't that soundproof Harry." He told him trying to sound as sincere as possible.
Harry leaned forward and rested his forehead on the coffee table, after trying to bang the reality out of this mind and cursing a number of times he looked up. "I guessing everyone heard everything?"
Sirius could only nod.
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"They heard!!!!" Hermione was shocked; she couldn't believe what Ron and Lavender were telling her. "What the hell are they going to think? God they would have heard what I ... what happened, their going to think I'm a slut. Shit they would of heard what I said to Harry about sleeping around." She carried on for a few moments blabbing to her self getting herself more and more worked up.
"Herm's" Lavender said grabbing Hermione's face. "Calm down! Nobody put two and two together and even if they did they'd be way too scared of you and Harry to mention anything, trust me."
Hermione looked doubtful at her but then she slowly began to relax. She placed her hands on her knees to try and stop them from shaking but it did no good.
"Honey," Lavender took hold of one of Hermione's hands and held it tight. "Who cares what they heard or thought? don't think about that right now."
Hermione knew she was right, she squeezed Lavender's hand closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
"When I left the meeting I was so angry and upset I went back to my room, Harry followed," tears once again began the all too familiar trip down her cheeks. "He tried to talk to me but I just blew up in his face, I kept shouting at him." She turned to face Lavender throwing her arms around her neck while she cried into her shoulder. All Lavender could all was hold Hermione while she cried.
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"I tried talking to her but she was so angry she wouldn't listen." Harry was getting frustrated again
just remembering their fight.
"Do you blame her?" Sirius looked at his godson
"You're not helping," he growled back through his teeth anger showing in his eyes.
"Sorry" Sirius watched as Harry ran his hand through his hands and sighed. "Continue what happened?"
Harry stood up and started pacing once again around the room. "I don't know what to say, everything happen so fast, just like this morning it's a mess."
"You slept with her again?" Sirius asked a little surprised
"What!" Harry looked shocked at his godfather "No. . . That's not what I meant .Bloody hell."
Harry leaned his head up against the wall; he could feel Sirius staring at him waiting patiently for him to continue.
"I told her it was for the best."
"The best that she went away…" Sirius asked "That she didn't fight?"
"Yeah. I said it would be the best thing and she just asked me for whom." Harry opened his eyes and looked across the room to Sirius. "She asked if it was the best thing for her or for me.
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"He said he was doing it for me, that it was better for me to go to Romania." Hermione choked out.
"I didn't believe him; I accused him of sending me away to make it easier on him. I told him to just admit this morning was a mistake and that he's didn't want me around making things all confusing and crap." Hermione lifted the tissue and wiped a few tears from her eyes.
Lavender and Ron waited for Hermione to carry on knowing that pushing her would only make her more upset.
A smile appeared across Hermione's face and her eyes tinkled with unshed tears. "That's when he knelt down in front of me and wiped away my tears."
Ron who was now sitting next to her on the sofa with Lavender the other side rubs her back. "Is that when he told you?" He asked quietly "When the idiot finally came to his senses and told you he loved you?"
"Ron!" Lavender growled from across the sofa. The smile had gone from Hermione face once again.
"No." she ripe her eyes again "I screwed things up. We started fighting again and he told me to stop playing games and just answer the question."
"What question honey?" Lavender asked
Hermione turned and faced her. "Whether I thought it was a mistake or not."
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"She told me to take my own bloody advice." Harry said with a small chuckle
"That sounds like our Hermione to me," Sirius told him and for the first time since Harry had arrived at his door he saw a genuine smile on his face.
"Just like Hermione."
A silence fill the room like it had done all too often.
"I told her I was just trying to protect her …she didn't take it too well."
"I don't suppose she did." Sirius agreed
"She asked why her, why her and no one else. Why not you or Ron or even lavender"
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"What did he say?" Ron asked. Hermione was now just staring at the floor, the day's event and emotions had just taken all the energy out of her.
"He said he loved me."
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"I told her I loved her." Harry was tired he wanted nothing more than to go back to his room and sleep but he knew no matter how tired he was sleep would never find him tonight.
"So I gave up. I told her everything. Nothing mattered anymore than telling her the truth."
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"He told me about Voldemort being sited near by…being scared at what he might do if he found out how much I meant to him."
Lavender herself now had tears showing in her eyes at what Hermione was telling them.
"He said he'd give his life in a heart beat if it meant that I wouldn't get hurt."
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"I told her it was her choice to stay or go. It isn't my right to choose for her no matter how much I want her miles away from this place and away from the danger."
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"He said it wasn't a mistake what happen this morning, that he'd never felt before what he felt with me. He said he'd never truly known love until me."
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"I asked her to forgive me for everything I'd done today."
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"For all the confusion, anger and hurt that he'd caused… asked me to forgive him.
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"I told her that the portkey would be here in a few days that it's her choice I wasn't going to force her to leave."
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"He told me he loved me … he kissed me. Then he left.
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I kissed her and just left. I didn't know what else to say what to do. And there you have the whole story." Harry threw his arms in the air and let out a long sigh. "I've really screwed things up this time."
"She didn't say anything back to you" Sirius asked.
"Nope. Nothing."
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"I didn't do anything I just sat there." Hermione was up on her feet walking around the room. "I was just so shocked! I never thought he'd think of me that way and them when he finally tells me he loved me what do I do? Nothing absolutely bloody nothing."
"Herms don't worry he'll understand everything will be-" But Ron didn't get any further
"Don't' say it will all be fine, you don't know that. He told me he loved me and I said nothing."
"Honey-" But again Lavender didn't get far
"Your not listen I said nothing, what's he going to think... he's going to think I don't love him which isn't true."
"Herm -" Ron and lavender said together but again she paid no attention.
"I should have told him I loved him, stopped him walking out of that door but I didn't. Maybe I should just go to Romania." Ron and Lavender looked at her shocked. "I can't screw things up if I'm not here can I?