Chapter 6 (Confusion's and Decision's)
Harry could feel the morning sun beating down on his face and for a minute wondered why he had an awful pain in his neck. A soft knock could be heard at the door and a short grunt escape Harry's throat as he pulled the blanket closer to his body and turned over hoping sleep would find him again.
There was another knock only this time Harry was amazed to hear the door opened followed by the soft voice of his godfather. Harry closed his eyes tighter as the memories from the night before flooded his brain, remembering that he was now asleep on Sirius sofa.
Sirius closed the door and then turned to find Remus looking at Harry with a bemused look on his face.
"Just give him a few minutes he had a tough night." He told him trying hard to hold down a yawn and failing miserably.
"Look's like he wasn't the only one." Remus replied slowly sitting himself down in a chair while Sirius left to finish getting dressed.
Harry continued lying there, willing sleep to take him one more time but all that filled his mind was the thoughts from last night, the shouting, the crying and last of all the rejection. Letting a rather loud sigh escape his lips he sat up willing the images out of this head.
"Rough night?" He heard Remus ask.
Harry holds his head in his hands and frantically tried to rub the sleep from his eyes and make himself feel more awake. Lifting his head he looked at his old professor and good friend and racking his hands from his already messy hair just gave a grunt in reply.
"That bad?"
"You have no idea." Harry then lifted himself up and to his amazement his legs held his weight. Slowly he walked across the room just as Sirius came back out fully clothed.
"Hay your up? Get much sleep?" He asked as he sat him self down on the sofa which Harry had just moved from.
"A bit" was he's only reply
Remus looked over at Sirius a little confused and worried, Sirius notice this and mouthed to him 'I'll explain later' He than turned back to Harry who looked like he was about to fall asleep where he stood.
"Well then take your butt upstairs have a shower cause you look terrible and then we can go to breakfast."
Harry just couldn't manage the energy for a good come back so he turned and made his way upstairs hopefully the cold water would wake him up and help him feel a little better.
Once Harry had left Remus turned to Sirius "I'm guessing something else happen between our two little love-birds last night and by the looks of things nothing good came out of it."
"Believe me Moony … it's a long story." And with that Sirius began to explain everything that had happen last night.
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Hermione sat alone on the sofa in Ron and Lavenders room watching the sun rise. She'd managed to sleep for a few hours but her dreams were filled with thoughts of Harry. Images of their morning spent by the tree, of there fight, when he told her he loved her. Tears threaten to fall from her eyes but she willed her self to be strong. She could still feel Harry's lips of her skin and smell his faint scent which reminded her of fresh grass mixed with soap, an odd combination but to Hermione it was intoxicating.
Hermione didn't know how long she had sat there till Lavender came down the stairs freshly showered and ready for the hard day ahead of her.
"Hey honey," she said slowly walking over to the sofa and taking a seat next to herplaced a hand on her knee and gave it a soft squeeze. "Get any sleep?"
"A little," Hermione managed a weak smile before she rested her head on her friends shoulder. "I've really screwed things up haven't I?"
"Don't be stupid!" Lavender ordered "Listen to me," She turned to face Hermione placing both hands on her cheeks forced her to look up. Lavender could see the sadness which shone in Hermione beautiful brown eyes, and for the first time her friend looked completely helpless and it broken her heart to see. "You have done nothing wrong ok, things have just got a little messed up and if Harry loves you like he said he did, he will understand. Sweetie you just have to talk to…."
"I don't think I can talk to him," Hermione spoke quickly standing up in such a rush that her head spun. She made her way over to the window hoping Lavender would drop the subject but luck wasn't on her side this morning.
"Things aren't going to get sorted if you ignore each other, they will just get worst. You have to talk to him!"
Lavender's voice was firm but caring at the same time and in her heart Hermione knew she was right. Although speaking to Harry was the last thing she wanted to do at this moment in time.
The silence that had settled in the room was soon broken by the sound of Ron bounding down the stairs.
"You're up! How are you feeling this morning?" He asked as he caught sight of Hermione standing by the window.
"Great."
Ron eyed her suspiciously for a second and then turned to look at his girlfriend, who just gave him a 'leave-it' look. Understanding what she meant he decided to change the subject.
"So, ready for breakfast? I'm starved."
Lavender stood up and linked arms with her boyfriend and was about to head towards the door when Hermione's voice stopped them.
"You go ahead I don't really feel like eating his morning." She moved from the window and returned to the sofa, on which she had spent most of the night.
"As I said ignoring the situation isn't going to make it better honey," Lavender told her" So move that cute little butt of yours and get out that door."
"Fine," Hermione said feeling to drained to put up much of a fight. "I'll see you down there I need a shower I feel …"
"There's a shower upstairs help yourself, we will wait for you." Lavender interrupted her and leading Ron over to the chairs took a seat.
Hermione gave her the best death glare she could and slowly made her way up the stairs. If they were going to make her face everyone at least to could drag freedom time out a bit.
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Harry sat at the table pushing his eggs and bacon around his plate with his fork. Round him he heard the voice of Sirius and Remus talking to Dumbledore and Minerva questioning Snape about the protection spell's potion.
The doors to the hall opened and Harry's head shot up to see who was entering, when his eyes settled on 2 of the aurors he returned his gaze back to his untouched breakfast disappointment showing on his face, although this didn't go unnoticed by the others at the table.
"Are you ok this morning Harry?" Professor Dumbledore asked his eyes showing concern. Everyone turned waiting for Harry's reply but at that exact moment the doors open once more and this time Ron and Lavender entered followed by a rather anxious looking Hermione Granger.
Harry's breath caught in his throat as he saw her. He could tell she hadn't slept much and her eyes were still a little puffy from crying. As the three made there way to their seats Harry could see that Hermione was trying her best to not look at his, holding her hands in front of her to try and stop them from shaking.
"Geez I'm starved." Ron let out a huge breath to try and break the tension which had suddenly filled the room taking a set opposite Harry and immediately started loading his plate with food.
"I really don't see how you can manage to eat all of that." Remus asked from his seat next to Harry and a small debate of Ron eating habits soon filled the table, but Harry heard nothing of this. As Hermione took a set next to Ron their eyes locked, the world around them slowly disappeared until it was just those two.
Hermione thought that she had actually stopped breathing as she stared into those green eyes. Those green eyes, which showed so much passion, so much sadness and so much love it was almost unbearable.
Harry saw through Hermione's eyes right down to her soul, and saw reflect in their depths sadness, pain but most of all love. But why if she felt the same way did she say nothing last night. He opened his heart to her and she just sat there not saying a word. Everything was too much, things had happen to fast. The strong foundation of there friendship which, many thought to be unbreakable had been rocked suddenly looking like it was on course for a head-on collision.
Dumbledore was the only one to witness this moment between the two, and knew if something was not done soon it would have terrible consequences.
Hermione was the first to break eye contact, taken a deep breath to calm her self she lifted the jug of coffee to pour
herself a cup. But the weight of the jug and her shaking hands were too much, placing it back on the table she pleaded
to her hands to stop shaking, trying once more to lift the jug and failing. She was on the brink of tears; everything
was going wrong she couldn't even pour her self a silly cup of coffee.
Harry saw Hermione was struggling and without thinking took the jug from her and lifted pouring it into her cup.
Hermione raised her eyes once again to look at him and saw a slight smile on his face.
"Thanks" her voice was hardly over a whisper but Harry heard and his smile grew a little bit more.
"It's nothing." He settled the jug on the table and looked up to see that she was still staring at him.
Harry knew he had to say something now, willing up all his courage he had he began to speak.
"Hermione…"
"Harry …"
Hermione stopped what she was about to say. Looking down at the table she took a couple of deep breaths. Jesus what am I thinking what the hell do I say after last night …I must be mad, he probably hates me … shit Hermione just say something. She calmed her self a little and lifted her head.
"You go first" She spoke again so quietly Harry hardly heard her. It took him a few moments to collect his thoughts.
"Hermione I think …."
But once again he was interrupted with the opening of the door. He let out a frustrated sigh as he turned to see who had arrived.
"Ron." Came Ginny's cry from the other end of the great hall as she ran to meet her brother, giving him a big hug.
As Ginny moved around the table given people hugs she settle her self in the seat between Hermione and Ron as her husband walked down to meet them, taking the set next to his wife placing him opposite Harry.
"Hay Potter."
"Malfoy," He replied. "Trust you had a good honeymoon?"
"Oh it was brilliant," Ginny reply and turned straight away to Lavender to tell her everything.
Draco helped him self to a cup of coffee. "Could have done with an extra week …"there was a pause while he glanced down at Ron. As an evil smile appeared on his face he continued, "Didn't really get much of a chance to leave the hotel room …"
"That's enough!" Ron announced from further down the table "I don't want to hear it."
"Ah, Weasley you should of said sooner we'd have brought the pictures down."
And with that Ron just dropped his fork on the plate while a greenish tint coloured his cheeks. "Now I've lost my appetite thanks a lot."
Harry and Draco couldn't help but laugh at this, while Ginny gave her husband a smack on the arm, but even she was finding it hard to contain her laughter.
For the first time that day the tension was lifted from Harry's shoulders as he listened and watched the playful
banter between Draco and Ron, while Ginny told everyone about the honeymoon.
It was hard to believe that Ginny and Draco were still together, for what started of as a fling in his 7th year, a lust
for each other which they both shared had some how on the way turned to love, surprising not only them but also
everyone else. Although it took a while for the Weasley boys to come round to the idea of there one and only sister
dating a Malfoy and after a lot of fist fights and duels they eventually began to except the idea. It wasn't until
the end of their 7th year when Draco had stood up to his father and offered his own life to save Ginny's did they
truly begin to
believe and respect him.
Although Draco still loved to tease Ron they had all became good friends. Harry smiled to him self. If you had told him 7 or so years ago that by the time he turned 20 he would be friends with Draco Malfoy he would have laughed 'till he cried; now he couldn't imagine it any other way.
Harry glanced over at Hermione and his heart suddenly dropped. She still looked as upset and lost as she did last night.
"Oh Hermione," Ginny squealed leaning over her husband to talk to her practically adopted sister. "You will have to see the pictures; it was amazing you'd of loved it."
"I can't wait." Hermione replied managing a weak smile, Harry notices this and he wasn't the only one.
"Herms are you ok?" Ginny asked concern sounding in her voice
Hermione turned and faced Harry and as they eyes locked he could see the distant tears frightening to fall. He watched as she slowly lifted her self up of her set.
Hermione didn't know what to do, all she knew was she had to get out of this place, she needed to be alone. "I'm fine …" She looked around at the troubled faces, "Really just a little tired, please excuse me." With one final look at Harry, she left the great hall before the tears gave her away.
Lavender let out a disappointed sigh, so close she thought to herself, so very close.
"What just happened?" Ginny asked her eyes looking round the group of close friends. "What's wrong with Hermione?" but no one answered her question. From all their downcast glances Ginny knew something serious must of happen and no one was going to tell her. She glanced over at Draco and he just shrugged his shoulders. Ginny glanced around the table at her friends hoping one of them would explain what she saw made her worry even more. Lavender was looking off in the opposite direction, while Ron pushed a piece of bacon around his plate. Remus and Sirius pretended to be deep in a conversation like they hadn't heard her and Harry … well Harry looked like he hadn't slept in days. "Ron … Sirius," But no one answered.
She turned once again and her eyes rested on Harry, he had his eyes cased down trying as hard as he could to disappear.
"Harry?" Ginny spoke. He lifted his head and looked at her. "What's wrong with Herms?" her eyes pleading him for an answer
"Why are you asking me?"
"Because you two know everything about each other." Draco stated, "It's like you've got a bloody psychic link between the both of you."
"Yeah well things change," His answer coming out a little harsher than he intended. He stood up and with out
another word left the hall leaving behind a rather shocked Ginny and Draco.
"Would someone please tell me what bloody hell is going on?" Ginny ordered.
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Air that's what he need, air and lots of it. Harry left the great hall and made straight for the front
doors leading out onto the Hogwarts grounds before anyone could stop him. The last thing he wanted now was Ron or
Sirius coming out to try and cheer him up. He wandered down the stone steps on to the grass which was already dry from
dew while the sun shone brightly in the sky; it was going to be another hot day.
Harry just let his feet carry him along not really knowing or caring where he was heading.
His mind was running wild, going over everything that had happened in the last 24 hours. Starting off with that breathtaking he morning spent with Hermione to the down hill roll which followed shortly after. He found it hard to believe that something so wonderful could lead to such heartache.
Before he knew it he was standing by the lake in the exact same place that he was yesterday. Closing his eyes he let himself remember that morning … he could feel her underneath him as he tickled her, the taste of her lips and the smoothness of her skin under his hands.
NO! His mind shouted as he clenched his fists by his side. It would do no good remembering she didn't feel the
same. What was it she had said last night 'heat of the moment' that's all it was. Now all he needed to do
was convince his heart. Slowly breathing out he opened his eyes, it was no good. He was completely and utterly in love
with Hermione Granger always had been, and she didn't return those feelings. It would take forever to rebuild their
friendship gain the closeness
which they had, and Harry wasn't sure if he even wanted to. Yes having Hermione as a friend is better than not
having her at all but after yesterday could he return to being her friend and be satisfied with it? Could he stand
watching her date other guys; falling in love and getting hurt?
Once again Harry closed his eyes and calmed himself. He was letting his mind run wild, how could he think that far into the future; unsure if he'd even be alive next week. Taking once last look out over the still waters of the lake Harry turned and slowly made his way back to the castle there was lots to get started; to get ready for the impending attack from Voldemort, the attack which could lead to his death.
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Hermione watched as Harry made his way back to the castle, it was hard to believe that only 24 hours ago there friendship as they knew it was lost forever never to be rebuilt. Hermione leaned forwards and pressed her forehead to the window pane until Harry was out of sight.
Why now? Why this week did he have to tell her he loved her? Why? It was a question she couldn't answer, the same with all the others which were running through her head. Why did she sleep with him? Why didn't she stop it before things got to serious? Before they crossed that line.
She closed her eyes and lightly banged her head a few times on the window hoping the answers would suddenly come to her, but they didn't.
Why was this affecting her so much? She always made sure that things were sorted why couldn't she bring her self to speak to Harry and clear things up? She knew to answer to that, because she was in love with him. She was in love with Harry Potter and she had lost her chance to tell him, now she was too scared to.
Turning from the window she grabbed a few books off her night stand and made her way down to the hospital wing to help Poppy with her teaching.
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The rest of that day was spent preparing things for the upcoming attack. Snape spent the day in the dungeons preparing the ingredients for the protection spell and set to work on brewing it up.
While Minerva ran over the rest of the spell with the other protectors, herself, Lavender, Ginny and Poppy, she had to make sure that all four understood what had to be done and when. So she spent most of her day in the hospital wing explaining with Hermione adding some extras points here and there. Snape had informed her that the potion wouldn't be ready until tomorrow evening, which meant the spell had to be cast in the afternoon exactly 6 hours before the potion needed to be drunk.
The 6 Aurors were also in the hospital wing begin taught basic first aid by Poppy and Hermione. Luckily in their training many of these areas had already been covered so things progressed quickly.
Harry spent the day in Dumbledore's office with Ron, Draco, Sirius and Remus running over their plans and trying to see if they had left anything out. Neville was still busy trying to get the ministry to send more help.
"I think we've got everything covered." Harry said running his hand through his hair, "The Protection spell is being performed tomorrow and Snape said the potion will be ready for everyone to take about 8ish."
"What about Voldemort's attack? any idea which direction he'd be coming from, there's not many of us the last thing we want is to be spread out over the grounds."
"We think…" Sirius relied to Draco's question by pulling out a map across the table pointing to a few places. "Mostly from the north, Snape said that's where he suspects he's hiding out; there have also been quite a few Death Eater sightings in the area."
"What about Poppy's teaching?" Dumbledore asked
"Ok," Ron answered "I popped down there earlier Hermione said they were making good progress but that was quite a while ago."
"Someone should go down and see how things are going," Harry said while he closely looked at the map for about the 100th time that day.
"Everything is fine." A confident voice spoke out from the door. Looking up he saw Hermione standing there a complete different person to earlier at breakfast."They all picked it up a lot quicker than we hoped, Poppy just asked me to pop up here and make sure you all know what you're doing."
"I think we remember our basic first training." Draco told her
"Just had to check." Hermione answered and made her way further into the room to find out what else was happening. "Poppy said every one had been brought up to date than, basic techniques have been taught, everyone's fine. I just have to find and check with Neville but that that's it." She informed them as she glanced down at the map which showed the layout of the Hogwarts grounds.
"Great." Harry answered
"When are we expected the attack?" Draco asked
"Could be any day." Remus spoke from the other side of the room "Saturday or Sunday."
"It's Wednesday today that doesn't leave much time, does anyone know what caused him to change his mind?" Draco asked.
Ron cringed when he heard Draco's question all he managed to tell him is that Harry and Hermione had had a disagreement over the portkey and that Voldemort had changed his attack. He had been hoping to fully explain the last day's events later when there wasn't as many people around.
Harry lifted his gaze and for a second green met brown before he quickly turned, rolling up the map he could feel the stares of every one in the room but he refused to look up.
"We have a possible idea but nothing solid." Sirius finally answered. Draco getting the hint dropped the conversation and silence filled the room.
At that very moment Neville entered straight wished he hadn't. The tension was so thick that you could feel it.
"Harry, just got news from the ministry, no more help." Neville saw Harry's face dropped that was their only real hope; more people would be on the way. "They said there was no-one we're on our own."
Neville looked over towards Hermione wondering if he should mention the other bit of information. "And …" Every one turned to see what else Neville had to say. Taking a breath he risked it. "The portkey you wanted… it will be here by this afternoon."
Silence once again filled the room and Harry risked a look at Hermione. She stared deep into his eyes and she knew what he wanted.
"I'm not going!!"