~* Frozen Fire and Burning Ice *~
Summary: We've all read the stories of when Draco comes across Ginny's diary, but what happens when Draco's the one with the lost diary? Will Ginny finally see through the mask of ice to the frozen fire inside Draco? The fire he's just waiting for someone to ignite. Could Ginny be that someone to open his eyes and find the key to his heart, does she want to be- would he let her be? It all starts with a run in before breakfast, and grows…
Tons of questions, but please read and review!
Rating - eh…PG-13…I tend to get carried away sometimes
E-mail: thepixiedustpoet@yahoo.com SUGGESTIONS/IDEAS FOR STORY LINE TOTALLY WELCOME!
DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING! I love Draco- but I claim no rights to him! …Wish I owned him and all the other wonderful characters from the wonderful Harry Potter books, but I don't. All the characters are completely J.K. R.'s! Any of the lyrics will be quoted! The band or singer will be underneath, most will be from Linkin Park, but some won't. Like I said, I own NOTHING!
A/N: Ok. Due to some reviews and suggestions, I have something to say. This is my first fan fic, and yes, I really did get carried away too fast. I'd like to apologize. I'm sorry if it's unbelievable, but I have a promise for all of my readers. I am going to slow it all down and 'let things happen naturally'. I thank everyone for telling me the truth about my fic, and I hope that with you're reviews, it will get better. Its only my first fic, and I got really excited and nervous of what people would think, and I admit, I really did get a little too carried away. The rest of this fic, and any other ones I write, will have better pacing - I promise. Also, I promise I have read the books, -the thing is: I read them all like a year ago, so I'm very sorry about the 'Crab' mix-up, and for getting Harry's eye color wrong. Thanks for pointing it out and they have been fixed. Keep reviewing, because I need to do a lot of work to make this a great fic!
Special dedication: To Katie McDonell and my wonderful Chris! -What would I do without you Chris???
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Frozen Fire, Burning Ice
Chapter Four: Read
Rethinking his plan, Draco sauntered into the Great Hall and took a seat at his table. Draco wouldn't look up, he couldn't. Who knew what he would do if he looked up and saw Ginny with Potter! Not wanting to take any chances, Draco kept his eyes down and his back to the Gryffindors. Sitting at the table with perfect posture, no emotion, and not moving, Draco was unapproachable. Not one Slytherin attempted to talk to him. Scantly registering the conversations around him, Draco barely caught Pansy say, (take note what I have done with the dialog. I put one enter between every set of words said, just keep reading and you will see what I mean. I also put two enters to seperate the narration (stuff above this comment) and the dialog session
"Ha! There's your proof right there! Told you Harry had it bad! Look at him!"
"How dumb is Ginny? She keeps scooting away from him!"
"She's so lucky- cursed with that atrocious orange hair and yet she still lands Potter!" Atrocious orange hair??? Draco must not have heard her correctly, but what were they saying about Potter?
"Oh Pansy, you missed it! He tried to put his arm around her again! That poor baby, maybe we should bring him over here and show him some real 'affection'!" Oh God. This was it. Time to go to work. Holding his breath, Draco ventured to slump down into his chair and in a depressed murmur said,
"You girls only want what you can't have. Maybe if I went after young Granger you'd want me." Already the girls were reacting. His plan was started. They were gasping and placing protective arms around him.
"You wouldn't" Pansy gasped.
"Not when you've got us!" HA, Pansy's really getting upset. Shouldn't be fawning over Potter like that.
"Oh Malfoy! Don't go falling for her!" Like I would ever. Draco almost wanted to stop right there and explain his plan to the whining Pansy and her throng of girls, but he didn't.
"Just look at her! We're much better!" Pansy said, pawing Draco's arm.
Draco let out an audible sigh and raised from the table.
"No, no, you all want Potter," and started toward Gryffindor table. Immediately the throng of girls followed him.
"Don't Malfoy! Please!"
"Come back!" they called after him. They were soo easy to manipulate. -It was almost disgusting. By the time he reached Gryffindor table, the girls were practically clawing at him, begging him to go sit back down. Oh lord. Here we go. Please let this work.
"Hermione, charmed as usual," he said kneeling, taking Hermione's hand in his and kissing it gently. The Slytherin girls hissed and begged him not to. He turned to Hermione to see that she had gone blood red. Ha, Draco always knew she had harbored something for him. Well, something besides raw hatred anyway.
Ok, step two…
"Listen, I've been dying to get you, alone," Draco said in his most seductive voice. He almost smiled when he saw Hermione tremble. By this time, Ron has realized what was going on; but with a simple wave of his wand Draco froze Ron where he was. With a disgusted face, Draco turned away from Ron as pumpkin juice began dribbling down his jaw. He turned to Hermione. Taking her hands in his, Draco leaned in and whispered into her ear loud enough for everyone to hear:
"I've been wanting, no, I've been needing to ask you something…" Glancing quickly over at Ginny, he noted that she was just as red, if not more so, than Hermione. Good. This might just work… The Slytherin girls hissed and pawed at him. Looking into Hermione's eyes, he continued to build suspense.
"I need to ask you if, if…" Then Hermione couldn't take it anymore.
"What Malfoy? What do you need to ask me?" she said, a little too excited. Smirking devilishly, and summoning all of his strength, Draco replied,
"If you preferred to be called Finger-Me-Hermione, or the regular MudBlood?" Suddenly Hermione froze. The entire Gryffindor table froze. The Slytherin girls a few feet away burst into howls of laughter, keeling over and supporting one another as Draco smirked and stood.
All of Slytherin table burst out laughing then, with 'Finger-Me-Hermione' being shouted randomly. Finally Hermione broke down and ran from the Great Hall sobbing. Ron, still frozen, was too furious to breathe- but Ginny wasn't. Leaping from her chair, knocking it over, she darted over to Draco and slapped him hard across the face.
"How Dare You!" she bellowed for the whole hall to hear. Yes, keep it coming Ginny. Let me have it! Spend all your anger now- don't hold it in! Use it all up so that later when you read you'll understand. Come on, hit me again! Draco's heart was pounding, but he only smirked coolly. Hit me!
"First you attack my brother and now you insult his girlfriend and my best friend?!?!? STOP SMIRKING!" She was all in his face now. Yes! Come on!
"You arrogant, self-centered, spoiled twat!" She said driving a finger into his shoulder. She was so attractive when she was furious- red hair flying, brown eyes gleaming, frail body fighting, it was almost arousing.
"You heartless, frozen bastard!" she said shoving him back two steps with each word. His eyes glittered. Yes, keep it coming! Please, get it out so you can love me again!
"You ::shove:: rotten ::shove:: no good ::shove:: Slytherin ::shove:: ass!" She had shoved him against the exit doors. Come on Gin, one good hit! That's all it'll take and then all that anger will be out of your system! Please! I need you! Come back to me! Hit me!
"Ooo la la, Easy-Weasley's got her panties in a bunch. Tisk tisk." Draco hadn't wanted to say anything of the kind, but he had to egg her on. -The Slytherin girls were cracking up, and he watched as Ginny turned on her heel to face them.
"Oh stick a dick in it you Slytherin sluts!" Gin! Draco wanted to laugh sooo hard- the stunned looks on the girls' faces were priceless! He hadn't known Ginny had such words in her! -But he needed Ginny mad at him, not at them.
"Potter! Control your pet weasel before I have to use a tranquilizer on her!" Ginny whipped around and stormed up to Draco. She was so close Draco could feel the heat radiating from her heaving body.
"I AM NOT POTTER'S WEASEL! I AM NOT HIS PET! I AM NOT HIS SHAG TOY! I AM NOT HARRY'S!" She bellowed, punching Draco in the stomach, causing him to fly through the doors and out of the Great Hall! She shoved him up against the corridor wall as she yelled:
"SO SHUT YOUR MOUTH MALFOY BEFORE I USE AN UNFORGIVABLE ON YOU!"
She was inches from his face. There! You did it Gin! It's gone! He knew she had spent the last of her anger because he could now hear her breathing slow and could now see tears welling up in her eyes. Oh how Draco wanted to hold her like she had held him when he had cried. Without warning Ginny started softly beating his chest with her small fists, tears streaking down her face. She ended up falling into his arms, face resting against his strong shoulders, sobbing.
"Why do you hate me?" she managed through jagged breaths and tears.
"I don't. You hate me; Remember?" he whispered, cradling her gently. Suddenly alarmed, Ginny took a step back. Yes, you hate me for beating up Ron… Quickly, (as he heard footfalls running inside the Great Hall heading towards the doors), he said:
"Gin, please. Just read this, ok? And don't show it to anyone else. Please Gin, please," and shoving his journal into her arms he took off around the corner and out of sight. As soon as he barely rounded the next corner, he slightly heard Harry yell,
"I'm gonna kill him!"
Potter. Damn him! Draco didn't need to picture Potter comforting and holding Ginny in his arms. Oh god that had been horrible. Please let her read and understand! Please let her care for me again! He had began to get the sneaking feeling that he wasn't going to be able to live without her. And with that he returned to his frozen wasteland to wait for Ginny's reaction. To wait iced and utterly alone.
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"Gin, please. Just read this, ok? And don't show it to anyone else. Please Gin, please," and shoving his journal into her arms he took off around the corner and out of sight.
A second later Harry burst through the doors with Ron tailing him. (The reason Harry had taken so long to come must have been because he was unfreezing Ron.)
What had just happened?
All she could remember was hating him -no- loathing him and yelling, then attacking him, then something she couldn't describe. When she had him pinned to the wall they were so close that when Ginny looked into his eyes she didn't see the hate and the horrible ice she had expected, but in its place desperation, want, and maybe even a little need. That's when she remembered falling into his arms crying uncontrollably and asking him why he hated her. His answer had startled her.
"I don't hate you. -You hate me, Remember?" It had hit her then. She didn't hate him. She had been disappointed, mislead, and hurt by him, but she didn't hate him. Now she stood holding something in her arms as Harry and Ron asked her what had happened and if she was ok. She wasn't answering.
Finally, overwhelmed and with adrenaline pumping, Harry pounded the stone wall and screamed,
"I'm gonna kill him!"
That's when Ginny slowly started to walk; her arms squeezing whatever was in them closely to her chest. -The only thing she planned on doing was reading,
"Where in bloody hell are you going?" she heard Harry holler.
"Oh me? I'm going to check on Hermione!" she had Ron reply.
"no, not you! Ginny! Gin! Oh great! Now she's gone! HAS THE ENTIRE SCHOOL GONE MAD???" …but Ginny wasn't listening.
Read….yes…must read… that's all Ginny could do. She couldn't think, she couldn't speak or feel; all she could do was find a secluded place where she wouldn't be interrupted so that she could read. It was as if she was in a trance. As if her life depended on reading this thing; whatever it was that she was clutching so close to her heart.
…All she knew was it had come from Draco Malfoy and that was enough to make it her top priority, though she didn't know why.
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As soon as Ginny plopped down against something stiff, she came to her senses and looked around her to see where her feet had led her. She was relaxed to see the gentle waters, glowing green grass, and brilliant blue sky. mmm, the lake. Looing down into her lap she saw it. Draco's journal. Flipping it over in her hands, Ginny examined it. Ominous deep green painted leather with "Draco L. Malfoy" engraved in silver on the cover. The edges of the paper inside were painted silver as well, giving the journal a very noble air, Ha! More like a very slytherin air. Ginny sighed and opened to the first page to find a note folded there. Hmm….
"Virginia,
You're the only person to ever see this. Open your heart and try to understand.
-DM"
And then Ginny began to read. She read for three hours straight when she had to take a short break, a break to cry and sob for Draco. Oh god, how awful! She had read stories of Lucius beating Draco till he cried out for mercy then even harder just for the hell of it. She read of times when his father had attacked him and punished him for things he hadn't even done. She read of being called a disgrace and a failure or no reason at all, or for the simplest of mistakes. She read of countless and random abuse, insult, and punishment. She read stories behind physical scars Draco had and stories of how he planned to never be like his father. She had expected a daily account of who he hated and teased; but instead found Draco's soul written on each and every page. Whether it be through lyrics, stories, quotes, or his own words, Draco was bearing it all. Weeping, Ginny turned back to the journal and read till dusk; to find that things only got worse. As Draco grew older Lucius grew more violent and demanding and it wasn't just anything he demanded. Lucius Malfoy demanded perfection. Stabs of sorrow wrecked Ginny's body as she read of how he had been admiring her from afar. She read of how even though she was a Weasley, Draco found himself devising ways into her life and more importantly her heart. She suddenly understood why Draco was so cold and frozen. He wrote everything he felt here in his journal and left it there. It was too dangerous for him to carry his emotions around with him. Ginny could only imagine what that must have been like. Then she came to the latest entry and braced herself.
"It's easier to run, replacing this pain with something numb. It's so much easier to go, Than face all this pain here all alone. Something has been taken, from deep inside of me. A secret I've kept locked away, no one can ever see. Wounds so deep they never show, they never go away. Like moving pictures in my head, for years and years they've played.
If I could change I would.
Take back the pain I would.
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would.
If I could.
Stand up and take the blame I would.
If I could take all the shame to the grave
Like moving pictures in my head, for years and years they've played.
If I could change I would.
Take back the pain I would.
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would.
If I could.
Stand up and take the blame I would.
If I could take all the shame to the grave I would.
Sometimes I remember, the darkness of my past. Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have. Sometimes I think of letting go, and never looking back. And never moving forward, so there would be no past. Just washing it aside, all of the helplessness aside. Pretending I don't feel misplaced, is so much simpler than change.
It's so much easier to run, replacing this pain with something numb.
It's so much easier to go, than face all this pain here all alone. (Linkin Park)"
There must not be a god; because I can't believe a higher power purposely punished me to be the son of Lucius Malfoy… to live this hollow existence. To be forced to be hollow. What kind of sick god would do that? Getting a good laugh at my expense? You're no god of mine, that's for sure. I'm so numb after all these years that I barely feel it when father tortures me. What's the point of feeling if you can only feel pain, misery, loneliness, and longing?
Later: I was so wrong. There has to be a god, for I have met his angel. With flowing red satin hair, jovient brown eyes and a milky complexion she's bound to be heaven sent. Seeing her on the floor I couldn't resist the urge to kneel down and look at her face. And lord! When we finally kissed it was like nothing I'd ever felt before. The whole time I had to with hold the urge to look for wings. Where must she hide them? I was feeling so blessed to have her… when she called for Potter. Being my cold, bitter self I overreacted and I don't care to describe how. While I sat at the Slytherin table in the Great Hall, I watched her with Potter, and it was killing me. She was my angel, not his. Blood boiling, I made a horrible mistake and insulted her once more. A moment later I was actually filled with remorse and crying when she came to me. -And god, this is how I know you must exist. She thanked me, your angel thanked me. She looked into my eyes and by some divine intervention she knew what I was feeling. No one has ever known how I've felt! But then of course, I had to screw it up again." Then there was an explanation of how the fight had really happened, and then Ginny read, "I've hurt her. I've hurt my angel. Now I see…. I'm not worthy of her, but by my word, I will be. I will be…
:
" Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
(unless I try to start again)
Chorus: "I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused
I don't what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm
Breaking the habit
Tonight"
Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again
Chorus
I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause I'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends
Chorus
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
To show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So I'm
Breaking the habit
Breaking the habit
Tonight (Linkin Park)"
I'll change everything in my life to be with her. -I've got nothing to loose anyway. I'll do anything. Hell, I'll even put up with Potter and Weasley (by that I mean Ron).
I'll do anything,
Anything…"
Blinking dumb struck, Ginny noticed a note written to her on the next page. She read it slowly.
"Virginia,
Let me try to explain. I caused a scene in the Great Hall to make you use up all of your anger. I'm sorry for anything I may have said or done, but it was all for you. …Everything lately has been about you. Crazy to think that we've only really known each other for one day and all of this has happened. But to tell you the truth (though you've probably already read it) you've been on my mind for a while now. Please don't just dismiss me from your life. There's something going on between us and I don't know why or what it is exactly, but I'm not sure I'm against it. Please, give me a chance. Please, take all the time you need and give this back whenever you feel like it.
- Draco Malfoy"
Closing the journal slowly, Ginny took a deep breath. Heading back to her dorm through the dark, and finally laying in her bed, curtains drawn, Ginny sighed. Before anything had time to really register with her, Ginny fell fast asleep; clutching Draco Malfoy's journal tight to her, as if she needed it to be there. She was only barely aware of a certain invisible person sitting quietly at the end of her bed.
A/N: Okay, I know that last journal entry was sooo out of character for Draco, but I promise there is a reason! Just wait! Ok, next chapter coming very soon!
REVIEW PLEASE! I LOVE REVIEWS, AND IF NO ONE REVIEWS I'LL GET DEPRESSED AND NOT WANT TO POST AGAIN FOR AWHILE! SO PLEASE REVIEW!