Unofficial Portkey Archive

Title: Harry Potter's Day Off

Author: Arachne

Severus Snape stood outside Hagrid's hut, his arms folded and brow furrowed, contemplating his next move. Gaining entry through the back was definitely out, thanks to that slobbering overgrown fleabag, so he decided to revisit the front, where he was presently staring at the impenetrable oak door as if it could unlock all the secrets of the universe. He was so deep in thought, in fact, he didn't even hear the swooshing noise of a broom pulling up behind him, nor the dull thud of its rider's feet hitting the ground.

A uniformed wizard with Fenella's Flora and Fauna embroidered on the lapel of his robes double-checked a piece of parchment, then walked the short distance to Snape, whom he gently tapped on the shoulder. The Potions Master whirled around, but before he could open his mouth to speak, the deliverywizard thrust a large cellophane-wrapped arrangement into his arms. Mounting his broom, he cheerily waved as he flew off back to Hogsmeade. He was rewarded with a particularly obscene gesture for his troubles.

Snape looked down sourly at the enormous cluster of bright yellow and cream Honking Daffodils, tastefully styled amidst an array of knotgrass and pussy willow in a heavy marble vase. He savagely ripped the accompanying card from the cellophane and read it through narrowed eyes. Best wishes for a speedy recovery. It was signed, The Order, Hogwarts Faculty and Staff.

Seething, he hurled the tiny scrap of parchment to the ground as Fang began to bark loudly in the distance. Suddenly, Snape's mutinous expression gave way to a decidedly malevolent smile. He crept back to the rear of the hut, where Fang continued to bark as he prowled up and down Hagrid's pumpkin patch, and hid behind the same Flutterby Bush that had shielded him earlier.

"Look at what I have," he said softly, "Just look at what I have for you here, you repulsive, evil little beast."

Malfoy hurried across the lawn towards Hagrid's hut. The thought of well and truly nailing Potter caused him to break out into a sprint, but then he remembered he was a Malfoy, and Malfoys never ran anywhere, for anything, under any circumstances. He stopped abruptly, pretending to catch his breath, then nonchalantly looked around to see if anyone had borne witness to his undignified exertion. Out of the corner of his eye, a large barn owl flew past, carrying a massive banner in its beak that declared Save Harry! in giant twinkling red letters.

He ran the rest of the way.

Coiled like a cobra waiting to strike, Snape clutched the floral arrangement to his chest. Indeed, this was a much better idea than attempting to hit the loathsome creature with a Stunning Spell--its incessant movement made that difficult at best (nor did he want the brightly-coloured jet of light that would emanate from his wand to draw undue attention to his activities). He heard the loud thumping of paws coming towards him from across the garden; smelt the animal's fetid breath as it reached the Flutterby Bush. Not a moment later Snape sprang up and smashed the vase down on top of the boarhound's head, knocking him into a state of unconsciousness the Draught of Living Death would be hard pressed to rival.

Breathlessly, Malfoy reached Hagrid's front door only moments after his Head of House had left it. He tried the doorknob once, finding it locked, then a second time, throwing his weight against the door for leverage. When that, too, failed, he began to reach for his wand, only to remember he didn't have it and had thrown away the only other wand in his possession earlier in the day. Frowning, he looked around desperately. He had not come this far to leave now, not when he was mere moments away from catching Potter in the biggest scam he had ever pulled. His eyes darted to the large leaded window adjacent to the door, heavy drapes drawn shut against it from the inside. Malfoy gripped the glass pane and began to push. It glided upwards in one smooth motion, making a dull thudding noise as it reached the top of the frame. He looked at the open window a moment in surprise, then shrugged and quickly climbed through.

His eyes had a hard time adjusting to the lack of light, the darkness causing him to stumble around clumsily. Arms stretched out before him, Malfoy made his way towards Hagrid's bedroom. Once he reached the open doorway, however, he stopped dead in his tracks. He had fully expected the bed to be empty, or possibly--he shuddered at the thought--to catch Potter and Granger shagging each other rotten. Instead, to his complete astonishment, he made out the silhouette of a figure, snoring deeply.

Malfoy reached the bed in two long strides and tore off the coverlet. The pillow dummy lay exposed before him, its tuft of black yarn hair falling to the ground at his feet like a fuzzy spider.

"I knew it!"

Malfoy kicked the dummy from the bed in a fit of pique, then rushed into the living room and snatched a jug of Floo Powder from the mantelpiece. Throwing a handful into the fireplace, he bellowed, "Professor Snape's office!"

A moment later, Professor Trelawney's head appeared in the fire, much to his chagrin.

"I need to speak with Professor Snape, immediately!"

Professor Trelawney blinked at him, taken aback. "I told you earlier, Mr Malfoy, he's not here at present."

Malfoy exhaled in disgust. "Then get me Dumbledore. This is an emergency!"

The Divination Professor remained unfazed. Draco Malfoy was a bad sort--she didn't need a star chart, tea leaves or a crystal ball to tell her that--and as such, she was disinclined to be of any particular assistance to him (not to mention, her Inner Eye told her he wasn't really in any kind of danger). "I'm afraid the Headmaster isn't here, either."

"What about Professor McGonagall?" Malfoy demanded.

"I believe she's stepped away for a bit," she replied calmly.

"Well, do know where she is?" Professor Trelawney simply shook her head. "Do you know when she'll be back?" She shrugged. "Do you know anything?" Malfoy said scathingly.

After putting Fang to sleep (so to speak), Snape began to make his move towards the back door when he was stopped in his tracks by a dull thudding noise coming from the front of the hut. Wand at the ready, he stealthily crept back around, only to discover the front door still as obstinately locked as he had left it several minutes earlier. Snape frowned in perplexity, then his line of vision drifted across to the open window. His eyes widened in a mixture of rage, disbelief and frustration. Snarling under his breath like a rabid Crup, he stalked towards the window and struggled to push his tall, cloak-clad frame through the small opening.

Malfoy pulled his head out of the fire and turned towards the noise coming from the window. In the darkness, he made out a pair of legs in dark trousers and the bottom part of a black cloak entering the hut. Smirking triumphantly, he stole back into the shadows, hiding beside Hagrid's giant rocking chair. Several moments passed in what felt like an eternity. When he could bear it no longer, he allowed himself a furtive glance over the edge of the chair. The figure was creeping across the room, his face obscured by the hood of his cloak. Malfoy's smile was almost blissful. A cloak won't save you now. Oh no, you can't hide from me, Potter. Not anymore. This was finally it.

Snape was slowly but steadily moving towards the bedroom when a creak of the floorboards caught his ear. He stopped, turning his eyes, then his head and, finally, his body towards his right. Hagrid's rocking chair moved back and forth almost infinitesimally, but it was enough to set off warning bells in the Potions Master's mind. A wintry smile cracked his sallow face. Seven years ... seven years, and it all comes down to this. Oh, yes, he thought, this is going to make it all seem almost worthwhile.

Malfoy leapt out from the darkness at the same time Snape darted towards the rocking chair.

"Potter!" they shouted simultaneously.

Malfoy's expression turned from triumph to horror in a split second. His eyes widened like Galleons at the sight of the cloaked, mud-covered intruder standing before him, who looked as if he had just been newly risen from the grave, his partially shadowed face flickering sinisterly in the firelight. A vampire! Malfoy shrieked like a first-year witch, too petrified to register the other wizard's matching look of terror or the familiarity of his features.

Snape gasped and recoiled in shock, his wand clattering to the floor. With Seeker-fast reflexes Malfoy swiftly Accioed it, pointing it at the figure before him. "Stupefy!"

Snape flew backwards, hitting his head against the stone wall and slithering to the floor like a slain Basilisk. Malfoy sprinted to Hagrid's bedroom without a backwards glance, slamming the door behind him and sealing it with a Colloportus spell for good measure. He crawled into a corner and began to whimper, clutching the dummy to him like a security blanket.