Some part of me snapped when I got that note. I began to look for him everywhere. If I saw a young man with raven hair I'd stare. It was never Harry. I didn't see him. Had I lost him again? I couldn't bear to think of it. I'd already lost him once.
He reappeared as suddenly as the note had. It was 3 weeks, 1 day, 5 hours, 23 minutes, and 49 seconds after I'd received the roses.
"Hey Hermione"
That was all he said. He looked well enough. Somewhat shaggy, but presentable, and still handsome. I fell into his arms.
"Mmmmm…you still use the same soap."
"Oh god I've missed that apple shampoo. I even went and bought some in a drugstore. It wasn't nearly as good."
"I missed you, you know. Harry, why did you leave?"
"Shhhh…later. I want to savor this moment."
We stood in my open doorway for hours. My neighbors stared, but we remained uninterrupted. I still fit in his arms.
Later we moved inside. I sat in a corner of my big, leather couch. He lay with his head on my lap. Just like in the Gryffindor common room. Minus Ron. But he simply wouldn't have come. He never did.
"What did you do? Where did you go?"
"I lived, I survived. I was a muggle college student in America. I traveled the world. I thought of you…"
"Harry…please don't say that!"
"Why not? It's the truth."
"But if you loved me you wouldn't have left!"
"Is that really how you feel?"
"Harry, you abandoned me. You abandoned our world."
"You know, I wish I could see Hogwarts one last time. I miss our tree, our place by the lake. Where we used to stare at the stars and fantasize about where our lives would go. Ron wanted to play quidditch. He did it. You always said you wanted to teach. Soon you will…And me? How have I lived up to those hopes and dreams? I wanted to beat Voldemort. I wanted to survive. I wanted to live. I wanted a wife, I wanted a family."
"HARRY DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? I LOVED YOU! I WOULD HAVE BEEN OUR WIFE! YOUR EVERYTHING! I LOVED YOU! AND YOU ABANDONED ME! EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU! AND YOU ABANDONED ME! ABANDONED ALL OF US BECAUSE YOU WERE AFRAID! OF DYING! DIDN'T YOU THINK WE WERE? DON'T YOU THINK WE ARE? WE'RE STILL FIGHTING HIM. AND WE DON'T HAVE A CHANCE NOW BECAUSE YOU LEFT!"
"I'm sorry"
"Sorry won't bring back Minerva, or Albus. Sorry doesn't bring back Ginny."
"WELL WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? GO BACK IN TIME AND FORCE MYSELF TO STAY AND FIGHT? I CAN'T MAGIC IT BETTER, HERMIONE! FOR GODSSAKES!!"
"No, I just wanted you to fight."
"I'm not brave like that, Hermione."
"Hero's don't have to be brave. They just have to try."
I started bawling. And he held me and soothed me. He held onto me and kissed me. We fell asleep. We survived.
After that night, he barely even smiled. He told no one else that he was back. Couldn't bear any more rejection. He stayed in my flat. I was there. But I couldn't protect him anymore. 2 weeks passed.
"I should never have come back"
"Don't say that. I would have died without you. I love you"
"Love you too"
"I never get tired of hearing that"
"Listen…Hermione, I have some affairs I need to attend to. Some things I have to do. Set some things in order."
"How long will you be?"
"I'm not sure. A day or two"
"Alright, Harry"
He kissed me long and hard. He breathed a goodbye in my ear, and apparated away. It was only then that I realized he'd said 'one last time.'