A/N: thanks all of those people who actually took the time to review my story! And I've replied to all of you, seeing as I have tons of free time now that it's summer hehe, hopefully I'll be able to keep this up! Now, I have to warn you guys that I don't actually reread what I write! I just write then post! So excuse any grammar mistakes, etc :) This is MUCH longer than my first chapter! Hope you enjoy =) Oh and, R/R please neni =)
Disclaimer: not mine … never will be unfortunately!
The wedding reception had ended an hour ago and Molly was left downstairs finishing cleaning up the house, while Ron, Harry, Hermione and Ginny left for their rooms. Once Ginny and Hermione entered the solace of their bedroom they both flopped onto their beds, exhausted by the day's events.
"I admit," Ginny started, "that I was wrong about Fleur. She isn't that bad," she concluded. Hermione turned her head to the right so that she could face Ginny on the opposite bed. Stretching her arms above her head she replied,
"I respect her for what she did with Bill. Not giving up on him I mean," she continued when she saw the baffled look on Ginny's face, "when he was attacked by that werewolf. Even though his face will never be as handsome as it once was, she has stuck by him through thick and thin, no matter what. I just hope that I find someone like that one day," she trailed off, choosing at that time to get off the bed and walk over to the mirror that was situated on the other side of the room.
Ginny propped herself on her right elbow and took this moment to study Hermione. She wasn't the same person that she had known these past years and something was definitely amiss, yet she couldn't exactly pinpoint what. She seemed more closed off to herself, less talkative and just seemed to have given up, to put it bluntly. Settling on the decision that asking what was wrong was the right course of action; she sat cross-legged on the bed and opened her mouth.
"Hermione?" she tentatively asked the auburn-haired girl. When a gentle 'hm?' came back as a reply, she voiced her question, "is there something troubling you?" she finished with a slight wince as she wasn't sure if it was the correct approach after all.
Hermione was stopped mid-way of taking off her earrings and just stared back at her reflection in the mirror. 'True,' she began thinking, 'I look as if I just saw a ghost,' bringing one of her delicate hands to her face and touched her pale cheek. As if startling herself, she was made to look at her almond-shaped eyes that lacked the once brilliant spark of energy that could be found when she read something new in a book or received the newest version of "Hogwarts: A History". Now they are simply, 'dead,' her mind chipped in. Deciding not to lie outright about it she merely answered,
"It hasn't been easy on any of us this past year."
"Well no, but I feel as if you have withdrew yourself from everyone. We haven't been as close as we have been the other times that you came to visit. We haven't had a personal conversation in days, when all we seemed to be doing is talk about the silly things that girls talk our age!"
Hermione suddenly spun round to face Ginny, taking her by surprised and frightening her by the angry look that had replaced the empty pools of caramel,
"Well we aren't like most girls now are we?" Looking at the shocked look on Ginny's face, she immediately regretted talking to her like that and changed tactics, "I'm sorry Gin, I shouldn't have talked to you like that. What I meant to say was - " but was cut off by Ginny bringing up a hand.
"You don't have to apologise Hermione. As you've already said, it hasn't been easy on any of us and it's bound to have an impact on our lives. I just thought you would have trusted me enough to tell me what's wrong," she concluded with a faraway look in her eyes as if sadness had suddenly overwhelmed her and couldn't bring herself to look Hermione straight in the eye.
"Gin…" Hermione began but trailed off as she realized that she couldn't say anything true to make Ginny feel better. 'Merlin,' he though, 'why is this so difficult? I was always the logical one, vowing to myself that I'd never let it affect me this badly! Seems like I failed, and in the process I have her one of my closest friends!' It was true, even though Hermione had two males and her best friends, she was still a girl and needed female comfort. That's where Ginny came in, 'But this year it's been different,' her mind offered, 'You haven't been as close as previous years, you haven't even had one decent conversation with her. Face the truth, you've drifted apart.' "Look Ginny, I know that we've grown apart this year but I don't want to lose your friendship," she informed the redhead truthfully, looking into her eyes and waiting for her reply. Ginny took her time in looking straight back at Hermione, their glance never wavering until finally Ginny seemed to be touched by Hermione's honest plea,
"I don't want to lose your friendship either," she told her, and with that the two girls hugged each other tightly, unwilling to let go. It represented a promise that they'll never do anything to hurt one another on purpose, and a symbol of true friendship. Neither was sure who initiated the hug nor who broke away first, but when they did, both laughed as they noticed the other's tear-stained face.
"I'm glad that's out of the way," Hermione said trying to lighten up the atmosphere, while wiping away a tear with the end of her sleeve.
Sensing that this was a good time to bring up a subject that she was very curious about , Ginny brought her knees to her chest and leaned back on the head of her bed,
"Hermione, are you serious about not returning to Hogwarts next year?"
"If it actually remains open you mean?" Ginny nodded her head, "I am," she informed her without a shadow of hesitation, "Harry needs me to protect him. He needs both of his best friends there and I'm willing to do it with no questions asked."
"I don't understand why you won't be returning back there that's all. Harry didn't mention anything to me about why he's doing this, just that he is."
Hermione couldn't help but feel a slight hint of satisfaction in the pit of her stomach, yet simultaneously she felt guilty in doing so after their hug and promise. Not allowing herself to plaster a smirk on her face, she turned her gaze to the window and began speaking,
"It's not my place to tell you Ginny it's Harry's, but I will tell you this," she leaned closer to her, "it's very important that we leave as soon as possible so as to get a head-start. I think of it as the beginning of the demise of Voldermort, and if Harry's hunches are right, then we have good chances of winning this war. All we have is each other, and even though Harry doesn't want to admit it, Dumbledore was one of the very few people that he had left in this world to guide him."
"It's hard to believe that we won't be seeing him anymore," Ginny commented on Dumbledore's death, "I was so used in seeing him around Hogwarts that it's just unbelievable to think that he's truly gone. I just felt so safe with him around."
"You and me both Gin."
Ginny suddenly let out a yawn of exhaustion, causing Hermione to chuckle sadly. With no more words being exchanged between them, they got ready for bed and slid under the safety of their covers.
"Goodnight Hermione."
"Goodnight Ginny," though Hermione was wondering to herself how in the world she was going to manage to go to sleep with all the thoughts that have been going through her head at light's speed.
Meanwhile at the boys' room, Harry and Ron were getting ready for bed themselves.
"Harry, did you see how Hermione was today?" Ron asked out of the blue, causing Harry to go on a fit of coughs. Patting his back, Ron managed to somewhat help Harry thus allowing him to answer.
"Err, what do you mean?" Harry asked, averting his eyes from Ron and trying to find something in the room to keep him occupied. Suddenly the room began to feel very small, the walls were beginning to close in on him and he found that he was having difficulty breathing. He couldn't figure out for the life of him what was wrong. It was a perfectly normal question to be asked, especially if the person who asked it was his best friend's boyfriend and his, in turn, best friend.
An image of Hermione in her robes abruptly filled his mind's eye and he couldn't think of an adjective less than "beautiful" that could describe her. He always cherished the word beautiful because he thought it was such a over-used word, that sometimes held no meaning whatsoever. Sure he often thought of girls as 'pretty' but never in his life did he call anyone beautiful, other than Hermione. Ginny was another story, one that he will always hold dear in his heart as she was quite a number. He admired her feistiness, her mischievousness and being so adamant about something that she would go through anything to prove her point. They had gone out together for a short period of time, yet he was proud at the way that their relationship had gone. It wasn't the catastrophe that had occurred with Cho Chang, and maybe one day he will be able to build a steady relationship with someone.
"… simply wonderful," Ron's conclusion seemed to bring out Harry out of his dream state, causing him to flush in embarrassment as he realized that he hadn't heard a word that Ron was telling him about Hermione, and by the looks of things he had said quite a bit. Trying to figure out how he was going to reply to Ron's expectant look, he was saved the trouble by Molly shouting at them through the closed door.
"Come on boys, it's time to go to bed! I don't want anymore chatting going on this evening!"
"Yes Mum" / "Yes Mrs. Weasley" was the boys' replies, and with that they lay down in their beds, tucked under the covers. Harry was glad that Ron didn't pursue the subject any further, yet he had a feeling that they would talk about in the morning. 'All the better, I'll have the night to think of a way out of answering,' he thought to himself proudly.
After about an hour of tossing and turning, Ron's frequent comments on "big blue eyes" and "cork necklaces", Harry got tired of pretending that he could actually go to sleep and instead got up. He had a strange feeling that he wasn't alone in not being able to get some sleep, and so he decided to raid the kitchen.
As he was descending the flight of stairs, his mind traveled back to occasions this year where he felt things that he was sure he wouldn't have felt otherwise. His mind raced back to the incident where he passed by Ginny and Dean while exiting the portrait hole under the Invisibility Cloak and feeling displeased. Back then he wrote it off as being jealous of Dean, but looking back on it now he hadn't had any reason to had done so as he genuinely liked Dean.
"I shouldn't be keeping this things to myself," he muttered while entering the Weasley's kitchen.
"What things?" a kind voice came from the kitchen table and Harry wasn't able to stop himself from jumping in fright. Growling in discomfiture as their reply was giggling in humour; he came at a stop at the kitchen table, pulled a chair from underneath it and sat down. "Well Harry," Hermione pushed on, "what things are you keeping to yourself?"
Just as Harry was about to retort, he caught sight of her teasing smile and realized that she was just messing with him, "Don't worry Harry, I was just teasing. Honestly, I've figured by now that when you're ready to share something with us you will without us pressuring you to do so," and for the first time that day, Harry felt truly at ease.
"Is that pumpkin pie?" Harry couldn't help himself from asking, his stomach coming to his aid and growling. He realized that he hadn't eaten well today, and he was aching for a piece of hot pumpkin pie to please him. Watching Hermione nod in reply, he went to get up and fetch a fork when Hermione placed her hand over his in order to stop him from getting up. Bringing the fork up from her plate, she hesitated only a moment before scooping up some of her pumpkin pie and turning towards Harry.
Alarm signals were going off in both of the two teenagers heads, but neither could fight the undeniable force that was bringing them together. Harry was surprised only for a second before licking his lips in anticipation and then opening his mouth to greet the fork that was filled with the ever-so scrumptious piece of pumpkin pie. The look that was being held between them never faltered, giving both of them ample of time to study each other. It was the first time in months that they were able to be alone and spend some real quality time together without any interruptions.
Harry, not being able to take the silence any more, took the fork from Hermione's fragile hand and picked up a piece himself. Before returning the favour, however, he broke the heavy silence that hung in the air,
"What happened to us?" Hermione was surprised by the way that his thick voice broke into the air, flinching at hearing how sad his voice was. She nearly flipped back at the look that was radiating off his eyes, as if he was a lost child that was looking for reassurance by his special friend; his special space; his rock that would always be there when he needed it. Not finding the appropriate words to answer him, she hung her head in defeat and 3 little words escaped her mouth before being able to stop them,
"I don't know," Harry looked up to find her fiddling with a piece of thread that was hanging from the bottom of the tablecloth and chewing her bottom lip, a sign that she was definitely nervous.
"So you've felt it too?" he egged on, encouraged by the fact that she hadn't simply shouted at him and left, "That we haven't been the same this year?" Hermione took her time in collecting her thoughts before replying,
"Yes Harry, I've felt it too. It seems that all you could think about was Ginny and her relationship with Dean. If it wasn't that then it was biting my head off whenever Quidditch was mentioned," she ended a little more harshly than she intended, but Harry wasn't fazed by it. It was the closest thing that resembled to a conversation to have transpired between them, and he wasn't going to mess it up.
"You can't deny the fact, though, that you were also caught up in your boyfriend's escapades with Lavender and throwing fits whenever you found them alone and together!" He went to continue but halted at the look of confusion that could be read off Hermione's face. He saw her face transform from confusion to comprehension and finally humour, though he couldn't understand what she found so funny.
"Oh Harry, you can't possibly think that I'm going out with Ron!" When she saw the incredulous look on his face she went on to explain, "I can understand why you would think that, especially after my out of character scenes of jealousy, but it's not what you think," she paused a bit to relax after noticing that all of a sudden the room seemed too hot, catching onto the fact that she was probably blushing by the look of satisfaction on Harry's face. "I admit that I was jealous and hurt that Ron was going away with Lavender so many times and leaving us behind, and yes I thought that I liked him as he had shown on occasions that he harboured feelings for me that went beyond friendship. I was surprised to see that he had gotten over me so quickly, and I was hurt. When they finally broke up, I was happy and thought that this was my chance to see if we could work out together," she stopped to take a sip from her pumpkin juice, clasped her hands together on the table and continued, taking note of Harry's interest in hearing her story. "Then we had that day to go to Hogsmeade and take our apparition test, and I thought 'this is our chance,' but it didn't work out. I realized that choosing to go out with Ron was only the easy thing to do and not the right," she didn't give Harry the opportunity to ask what she meant by that as she continued straight on, "you see, I only thought I liked Ron because of the fact that he had already shown interest in me, and you need to understand that when girls find a guy who shows that they like them, they get flattered and start thinking about what could happen. But it was wrong of me to do so, and I told him so though I don't believe he has accepted it yet," she finished her story and returned to finishing her pumpkin juice.
"Oh," was the only thing that Harry could think of to say, and he smacked himself inwardly for the show of lack of vocabulary in front of her, "I'm sorry Hermione,"
"For what?"
"For everything. I haven't been the best friend to you this past year and now I find that most of it was based on a misunderstanding. Some friend I am," he concluded, his hand toying with the fork that still held the pumpkin pie.
"It takes two," she replied, a knowing smile on her face, and Harry was happy to find that her eyes weren't the empty pools of caramel that he had seen the past week. 'Finally, they're beginning to resemble the sparkling colour that was so filled with life,' he thought to himself, though he couldn't blame her if she never felt the same way as she did when they were 11 years old. Life was playing a cruel game to all of them and they were forced to grow up much quicker than was necessary, go through things that most people in their world will never face. Such things made them close off the rest of the world, grow colder yet also it made them stronger, made them realize that they should take no-one for granted.
"Harry, I admit too that I haven't been the best friend that I have been throughout the past 5 years, but I can promise you that everything will change. If you let me that is,"
"I don't know Hermione, things were awkward between us this past year. Do you really think that we should give it a try one more?" Hermione was so shocked to hear those words come out of Harry's mouth that she coughed in her pumpkin juice, immediately hear Harry's chuckle.
"You're having a go at me aren't you?" she asked, pretending to be mad at him but her charade not pulling through as a smile was tugging at the corner of her lips.
"Hermione," Harry breathed out, leaning forward so that the fork that he was holding was opposite her mouth with those full lips slightly parted in anticipation. Hermione opened her lips and gracefully took in the piece that he as offering her, the fork being pulled back by him rather sensually. Neither were sure what to say next, but both of them knew that no words were needed to acknowledge to fact that they were back on track to fix whatever went wrong the past year, both determined to not let their friendship get lost.
Rays of red sunlight began to creep into the kitchen and that seemed to break the couple from the reverie of watching pools of emerald green and caramel with golden flecks in them. Neither had realized how long they had been sitting on that kitchen table simply talking.
"We should be getting back up," Hermione said, although rather unconvincingly.
"Yeah or else Mrs. Weasley will get suspicious of what we were doing," he told her, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively, causing Hermione to break into a grin and pushing his chest in order to get past him.
"Oh please Mr. I-think-I'm-so-hot," she teased back, "if I didn't know any better I'd say that you were watching me before I came downstairs and decided to come after me and get me alone," she finished with a wink and raced up the stairs as quietly as she could, though her giggles could be heard.
"Is that so?" Harry asked and flew up the stairs at neck speed, enjoying the fact that they were able to joke once again as if they didn't have any worries in the world. Finally reaching her before she had the chance to open her bedroom door, he flung his arms around hers thus not allowing her any movement whatsoever. "You were saying?" he asked in between deep, ragged breaths.
Hermione looked behind her shoulder and found Harry's grin in her viewpoint, so she decided to play his game. Turning herself in such a way that made it clear she wasn't going to run away, she came to face him and found that they were nearly nose to nose. Both of them were panting and breathing deeply, yet they never broke eye contact. They became very aware of their position yet neither of them had the power to break it up. Hermione swallowed as Harry's eyes were traveling back and forth from her eyes to her lips. His hands still had hers arms pinned to her side so that she couldn't move, though that seemed to make her realize that even though she wasn't capable of movement, her mouth was still working.
"I said," she began, "that you probably wanted me to get me alone."
"Is that so Miss. Granger? Well then I can neither deny nor accept such an idea. Though I do have something in mind."
"Oh? And what is that Mr. Potter?"
But whatever it is that Harry had in mind of doing Hermione never knew because at that moment a creak was heard somewhere in the house, meaning that someone was already awake and coming towards them. They broke away from each other immediately as if they were doing something they shouldn't have, and even though that was partly true, neither of them wanted to admit it.
"Thanks Hermione," he told her, and with a peck on the cheek, he turned towards the stairs and by taking them two and a time, he disappeared. Hermione, on the other hand, was left on her doorway staring into space as the spot of where he kissed her was burning. Knowing that they were both treading on a very thin line, she could suppress the toothy grin that overcame her face and so she entered the room quietly, closing it behind her.