Chapter two - Your Smile
Has it been two years now? Have I really gone that long without him? I surprised myself by even being alive the day after he left; but now that all this time has passed, and I find that every morning I wake, I almost look forward to getting up and knowing that I am the one who inspired me to live today. I am the one who got up out of bed and took that first breath of the new day. Why shouldn't I? Is it wrong for me to want to be a little independent? Am I not allowed to feel almost relieved to find that I may not need him as badly as I thought?
I look down at the ring on my finger and reminisce on the progress that I have made. There have actually been days when I have forgotten to put it on. It was almost like letting go of a grip that I was holding on myself. The gold of the ring reflects in the morning light streaming through the window. I look out of the window and am not surprised to see snow falling.
As I sit and watch the snow
Fallin' down
I don't miss you at all
I can't believe it, but it's true. I don't miss Harry, at least not anymore. It must have been a good six months since I really felt like I needed him to come back. It must have been at least a year since I cried over his departure. I have to admit that I found something better. I hear bare footsteps coming down the hall and I smile knowingly as the doorknob turns and I hear the gentle creak of the door opening. I look to the side as I draw the covers up over my top half, as if I'm still nervous around him after all these months. His lean, muscular body travels across the room and stops at the edge of the bed. I look up into his steely gray eyes and his intense gaze focuses on me. I smile nervously and turn my face down and let my fiery hair fall in my face. I feel the bed ease down under his added weight. I find the courage to look up at him and I find a smile in the same place that used to hold that evil, hateful, mischievous smirk that I used to hate and despise.
He touches a hand gently to my cheek and I lean into his touch, feeling the warmth of his hand against my cool skin. I shiver slightly as my skin quickly warms. He chuckles and tilts my face up to his. "I love you," he says for the tenth time since last night. Every time he says it I can only wince and return it with a smile. He knows that it's hard for me, and he accepts it, but he refuses to hide his true feelings. I want to say it, but something is holding me back. Is it the ring? Is it my promise? Is it Harry? I can't even tell any more. It's too much to deal with anymore. Right now, I just want to feel.
He starts to say something but I silence him with a finger over his lips. "Make love to me, Draco," I whisper seductively, running a hand slowly through his silky hair. The smirk appears as he closes the space between us quickly, capturing my lips with his. It starts slowly, tenderly, but I can tell that he needs release just as badly as I do. We have never really gone slowly. Foreplay has seemed a meaningless waste of time, but now, as his lips travel down my jaw line and to my neck where he begins to bite and tease, I can't help but miss the tantalizing feeling before sex that Harry had so often made me feel.
I hear children playing, laughing so loud
I don't think of your smile
Wait, did I just think about Harry while Draco is ravishing me? There's not even any feeling when I think about Harry. Maybe guilt, maybe regret, but not loneliness like I felt before. No longer is there a yearning and a need like I feel so strongly when I am with Draco. I let my thoughts pass as Draco pushes me down onto my back and pulls the covers away and tosses them to the side, smiling evilly down at me. I shiver as the cold air touches my uncovered skin. Draco covers my body with his and I am almost immediately warmed by his presence. I am mesmerized by the hunger in his eyes. How he seems to be yearning for me. And not just my body, but also my love. The feeling that there is someone in the world who needs him. The feeling that I have searched for my entire life and finally found in a place I would have never expected.
He kisses me once on the lips before trailing his lips down to my neck, gently biting, nipping and licking while I writhe beneath him. My thoughts grow hazy as his soft lips continue to my breast and kiss in lazy circles around my left nipple. I moan inaudibly as I feel my nipples harden under his kisses. As his mouth possesses me everywhere, he sends me into a mindless wonder while I lose all resistance. He sails me high and writhing until heat explodes like a skyrocket inside of me, sending sparks sizzling from the core of my stomach to the tips of my toes and fingers in a gigantic burning burst of sensation. His head returns from the unknown depths of my body and he smiles wickedly as I stare at him with a lust so powerful I could have burned a hole through the wall. My eyes close as his lips find the sensitive patch of skin beneath my left earlobe and he begins to suck and tease me with his skillful lips and teeth.
His tongue darts in and out of his mouth, touching my skin delicately, making me squirm with anticipation. He draws away from my neck and I open my eyes to the sight of him gazing in undisguised need back at me. I see in his eyes the equal need and want for fulfillment that I have been lavishing in under his touch. My arms find their way around his neck and pull his mouth to mine. I hungrily devour his mouth and feel his hand snake down between us and delicately touch me, easing my ready entrance open. I wriggled against his hand and feel him erect and hard against my thigh. I moan into his mouth as I feel him at my entrance. He quickly enters me and I dig my nails into his back at the tight fit. I accommodate to him and my eyes shut in ecstasy as he begins to move inside of me. He moves slowly at first, and then quickens his pace as I voice my needs.
I surge forward and met him thrust for thrust, bringing my legs to wrap around his waist. Sweat begins to bead on his forehead as he closes his eyes in concentration. I feel a droplet of sweat as it falls onto my chest and runs down to the area where we are joined. His pace increases and I know he is getting close; his arms encircling around my back and bringing me flush against him as he continues to pound into me. I begin to feel a tightening at the base of my spine and know that I am close as well. I increase my own pace and we seem to race each other to see who can reach that desired sense of completion first. We ride through our waves of pleasure as we both come at the same time, my eyes shutting tightly and my arms tightening around his neck as sparks shoot off behind my eyelids and I finish my ride of ecstasy.
I collapse onto the pillows, my arms falling to either side as I feel Draco leave me, coldness rushing to my most sensitive areas. He rolls onto his back beside me and I reflexively curl up at his side, his arms coming up and encircling me. I sigh contently and let my eyes close as sleep overtakes me quickly, dreams of the future and me and Draco's life together overtaking my thoughts.