A/N: I think this is my favorite chapter so far-maybe because it was the easiest to write. And I know this doesn't appear to be going in a favorable direction, but please don't give up on me yet! And PLEASE review with any suggestions or criticisms you may have.
Disclaimer: Oh my, I own zero stock in JKR's Harry Potter, but if they sold real shares, I'd be heading up the queue!
Chapter 4 Well, That Went Well
Harry and Ron had company over when Hermione arrived at their flat, which was just as well, as it would save her the trouble of announcing her decision multiple times. After depositing her cloak and briefcase on and near the coat rack, she followed the sound of laughter to the living room where her two flatmates, Ginny, Luna, and surprisingly, Neville were seated on the various armchairs and couches around the roaring fire.
She found herself in such a good mood that she even laughed at Ron's joke about the hag, the Healer, and the Mimbulus mimbletonia, even though she was sure he'd told it at least twenty times by now. Her chortle rang throughout the room long after the others' laughter had died. All five other heads swiveled in her direction and she smiled and nodded her greetings to everyone.
She flopped languidly onto the vacant cushion nearest Ginny, who appraised her carefully and remarked, "Wow, someone's happy. What's the deal?"
The others' gazes were still fixed on her as she fought to suppress her growing smile.
"Wait," said Ron suspiciously, "I know that look. You've-you've learned something!" His eyes narrowed and he pulled back from her suddenly fearful.
Neville placed a restraining hand on Ron's shoulder to keep him from leaping away from her. "Ron's right though, Hermione-"
"For once," muttered Ginny quietly.
"Hey!" cried an indignant Ron from his spot in the armchair.
"No, really," said Harry, ignoring the interruption, "You have that knowing smile. You've got some big news, haven't you, Professor?"
"Ooh! Is this about your meeting with McGonagall? I heard Sprout talking today about McGonagall wanting to elect a new Deputy Headmistress, is that it?" Ginny gushed eagerly.
Hermione raised an eyebrow at this tidbit, but shook her head in the negative.
"Gulping Plimpies?" asked Luna hopefully.
"Why don't we just let Hermione tell us," suggested Harry diplomatically.
Hermione smiled gratefully at him and took a deep breath, putting her thoughts in a logical order. "Babies."
Unexpected silence greeted her statement. Startled, she looked from face to face for a reaction, any reaction that might give her a clue as to how to proceed. She had prepared for an onslaught of objections and had a counterargument to any dissentious opposition, but the roomful of silence planed away at her confidence. Finally someone spoke.
"Babies?" asked Neville uncertainly.
"Yes, I want to have a baby," stated Hermione clearly. Her eyes found Harry's in the group and silently pleaded for him to say something. For some reason, she was most anxious to hear his opinion on the matter. He held her gaze for only a moment before becoming suddenly very interested in the hem on his jumper.
"Well aren't you forgetting something?" asked a confused Ron.
Hermione ran through her mental checklist of details, and finding nothing unaccounted for, she shook her head and replied, "No…I don't think so."
Ron chuckled in a rather apprehensive way, obviously treading lightly lest he set her off, "Well, I mean, you're not married or anything, I just-"
"Oh Ronald, you don't have to be married to have a baby," supplied Luna rationally, effectively saving Hermione from the same argument herself. She was about to continue, when Hermione interrupted.
"Look, I had a meeting with Madame Pomfrey today because I've been feeling a little…under the weather," she explained, again seeking out Harry's gaze. She was troubled to find that he again wasn't looking at her but at his left shoe, though she noted he giving that shoelace a rather concerned look. "And anyway, she told me that my, erm, biological clock is ticking, and that I need to get a move on if I want to have kids."
Neville's and Ginny's mouths dropped open. Ginny put up a hand to cover it. "Oh Merlin, and I just lectured you for ages about getting yourself a proper boyfriend! Hermione, I am so sorry!"
"It's okay, Ginny," Hermione reassured the younger witch. "You actually were the one who reminded me of something Madame Pomfrey told me. In fact, I'm going to take her advice. I did a little research-"
"That explains the look," mumbled Ron.
"Lips moving, still talking," glowered Hermione, indicating her moving mouth with a finger. She sighed, exasperated by how long it was taking to explain herself. "So I did some research and decided that the best way to go about this is artificial insemination." She paused again and gauged her friends' reactions.
"She doesn't need an actual man, just a couple of his best swimmers," came Luna's blunt response as she nodded in understanding with Hermione. Hermione was rather taken aback with this view, but couldn't deny its straightforward accuracy. One down, four to go, she thought.
Ginny was still blinking in surprise at Luna when she posed her next question, "So, now that we got that covered, how does this whole thing work? I mean, do you just order, you know, the stuff, like a pizza, or what?"
Hermione laughed, grateful that Ginny had lightened the mood somewhat. She settled back in her usual expositional nature, and began, "Well, it's not all that complicated really. You select a donor, pick up a frozen sample, bring it home and defrost it, insert it, and-well, that's all."
"In-insert it?" gulped Ron.
Hermione rolled her eyes at him. "Yes, Ron. Insert it. How else could I get pregnant?"
Ron colored and mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like "Firewhiskey." Neville snorted but was silenced by a look by Ginny.
Ron spoke again, now very clearly trying to get a handle on the situation. "Hermione, this doesn't seem like something you would do. I mean it's so…impulsive."
"Good word, Ronald," praised Luna, causing Ron to redden again.
"Ron's right though, Hermione," said Ginny. "I don't understand though. This is the kinda thing a girl does if she's very ugly or a lesbian. This is not the act of a beautiful, intelligent girl who could have any bloke that she wants!"
Harry looked up and opened his mouth as if to say something, but seemed to think better of it, and closed it again.
"Ginny, you never liked any of my boyfriends anyway, and the rest of that is most definitely not true. Listen, I know it's not the ideal way to do this, but I'm just examining my options. You don't understand, I see children every day and I want one of my own. And this want, this need makes me ache for it. Last night I dreamt that I was dangling off the minute hand of the Hogwarts clock tower while Madame Pomfrey's voice taunted me about the ticking of my biological clock! I can't take it anymore," she implored the group earnestly.
Nobody said anything following such an honest proclamation. Hermione wasn't the sort of person to repress her emotions, but even Harry couldn't remember a time when she had bared so much of her soul. She looked at the faces of each of her friends in turn and analyzed each of their expressions. Luna, Ginny, and Neville were nodding at her, but Ron was gaping at her like a fish out of water and Harry, she was disappointed to see, was now contemplating the throw rug.
"Look, Hermione, we know you're capable and everything-you don't need to do this to prove anything," said Ron in what he obviously thought was an understanding tone.
Ginny, Luna, and Neville's mouths once more dropped open, Ginny looking back and forth at Ron and Hermione, waiting to see who would speak next. Harry had a pained expression on his face, bracing himself for the imminent fight.
Hermione had barely registered that all the blood had rushed to her head when she answered Ron in a low, dangerous voice that obscured no amount of venom. "You think that I'm doing this just to prove something to you all? Is that what you all think, or just Marathon Man here!" she demanded of the group, three of which at least had the decency to look ashamed for their tactless, red-headed friend. But Hermione wasn't finished. "You think this is about you, Ronald Weasley?! Because this has nothing to do with you! For once I am doing something for me on my own, and I would appreciate it if you could find it in your pitiful, self-absorbed little mind to keep your idiotic thoughts to yourself and stand by your best friend!"
She couldn't remember the last time she'd been this angry, but had the vague inkling that it had had something to do with Ron then too. But more than the feeling of anger was the cognizance that neither of her best friends had voiced any support for her. That more than anything else was the cause of the tears welling up in her eyes right now.
Ron stood up, seeing red as well, and blundered, "Hey, I'm just trying to look out for you, all right?! Having a baby Hermione, are you mad?! I realize that you're very good at mothering, Hermione, as you've done it to me and Harry for the past, what, thirteen years, but do you realize how much things will have to change? You can't work, therefore you can't help with the rent, not to mention buying all those baby things like prams and-and blankets and all that. And what about Harry, did you ever stop to think about him?!" From the couch, Harry's head shot up.
Hermione faced off against Ron and looked him square in the eye, and despite her deficiency in height, a wrathful Hermione Granger was one of the highest forms of intimidation. Her bushy hair cackled with energy and her dark eyes glittered dangerously. "What about Harry?"
Finally he spoke, "Could you leave me out off this please?"
"SHUT UP!" shouted Hermione and Ron simultaneously before turning their attention back to each other.
Luna placed a hand on Ron's arm to hold him back, while Ginny and Neville just watched the developing altercation with trepidation. Ron pulled away roughly and brought his long nose within inches of Hermione's. "For someone so always wrapped up in Harry's needs and wants, have you ever stopped to consider what it might be like for Harry with a baby in the house? How he might feel sneaking birds in at night without running into you on your way for your 2 AM feeding?"
She gulped; no, she hadn't thought of that. Stubbornly, she replied, "Well, maybe I'll just move out then, and you guys can get a nice, third, bachelor flatmate, so that the Pregnant and Hormonal Rampaging Hermione won't cramp your style!"
Ron took a step back, not having foreseen this reply. His attempt at talking her out of it had just backfired miserably so he fell back on what he termed 'logic.' "Well, that still leaves the question of money! You won't be able to work once you have it, and-"
"Excuse me?" she sputtered. "Did you just say that I can't work and raise a child at the same time?"
"Of course not, not if you want a proper home-"
Hermione gasped, her hand flying to her mouth. Ginny made shushing noises to Ron and Luna frowned up at him, but Hermione had already launched into a whole new tirade.
"Well, Weasley, just because you were raised by a stay-at-home mother, doesn't mean we all were! My mother has a thriving dental practice and, if I do say so myself, I turned out quite nicely, thank you very much!" she yelled.
Ron raised an eyebrow as if doubting her last statement, causing Hermione to splutter in indignation once more. Her hands itched toward her wand but Harry leapt up from the couch and placed a calming hand on the small of her back.
"Listen, Ron, let's just leave it there for the night, all right? I think we all need a little sleep and tomorrow we can discuss this further, okay?" he asked, making eye contact with Hermione for the first time since her announcement.
Hermione felt emotionally drained, but had to have her last say. "Look, I'm tired. I'm tired of waiting for something or someone that isn't going to happen. This is me taking control of my life and being the rational, responsible woman that I am! I know I can do this, but I was hoping to have the faith of my best friends! Thank you, Ginny, Luna, and it's nice to see you again, Neville, but I think I'm going to turn in for the evening. Good night."
She wiped the remaining tears off with the back of her hand and hugged Ginny and Luna goodbye. Shooting glares in her flatmates' directions, she headed back to her room to change for the evening. Fifteen minutes yielded her a virtually empty flat and two inaccessible flatmates-one because they couldn't talk for five seconds without an ensuing argument and the other because he had suddenly developed a case of muteness that troubled her more than she could admit.
Sitting down on the couch, she gathered her dressing gown more tightly around her and aimed a new flaming spell at the fireplace. She watched as the orange flames transformed into the brilliant bluebell ones she'd so often conjured throughout her time at Hogwarts. (A/N: Where have these bluebells been? I mean seriously, have we seen them since CoS?) Mulling everything over, she concluded only three things: that her confidence had taken a major beating that evening, that she was tired of trying to convince everyone that she wanted what she deserved, and that she was even more tired of trying to convince herself that she deserved what she wanted. They're not the same thing, you know. Oh Merlin, she thought as her eyelids grew heavy, I'm beginning to sound like the Cheshire Cat. Oh, but they've changed the boundaries haven't they, so it's really the Unitary Authority on Warrington Cat, or maybe The Cat Formerly Known As Cheshire…
Hermione didn't notice the added weight to the other end of the couch where she had curled up, nor did she feel Harry's gaze warming her more than any fire. She would have been keen to know that he was now watching her as studiously as he had been his shoe earlier in the evening. He noticed her bluebell flames and once again marveled at her ability to perform spellwork at a time like this. Sighing, he surrendered to whatever was his opposition in his internal debate, and turned back to study Hermione again. Quietly he walked over to where one of Mrs. Weasley's knitted blankets lay in a crumpled heap on the floor, picked it up, and draped it tenderly over his best friend.
"Good night, Hermione," he whispered as he leaned over to kiss her forehead, lingering there as long as he dared. Those three little words words fell far short of the ones he longed to voice, but they would have to do for now. She stirred a little in her sleep, but otherwise gave no sign of acknowledgement. He pulled out his wand and quietly cancelled Hermione's fire charm, dousing the room in darkness. With one last look back to where he could just make out her sleeping form, Harry headed off to bed, not looking forward to the conversation that he knew he would be having with Hermione in the morning.
A/N: Well, I borrowed a bit for this chapter, some of which you may recognize. There's a bit from the movie Look Who's Talking, which I adored as a kid, and now fully understand, which makes it that much funnier. (Gotta love run-on sentences) There are also a few phrases from the Friends episode, "The One with all the Jam." And the Cheshire bit was actually from the Thursday Next book series by Jasper Fforde, which I highly recommend by the way. The first one is called The Eyre Affair if anyone is interested! Please leave a review!!!