Chapter 2: Those who Reach for the Sun
Authors' Note: Most people know who Al is in this story… it's a decent substitiute, I think. Plus I'm waiting for the next four episodes…
Note: I have a date for my homecoming… hell yah…. I rock… happy dance…
Enjoy
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Harry woke up at his desk again; three different books open around him. Fixing his glasses, he looked around; trying to find what was going on. Hedwig was asleep, finally after deciding that she couldn't get Harry to sleep she might as well get some. He still needed to create the circle, and that was going to take a while, maybe a day or two. But Harry knew he could do it. It wasn't impossible.
There was a knock at the door, and Harry stood up, nearly tripping over the piles of books he had. The room he was given was small, in hopes that he would come back to his Gryffindor dorm, but Harry couldn't, he needed to be free to do what he needed to do. He stretched and walked slowly, over to the door. He was tired, having slept little in the past few weeks, the dreams of Sirius and the Black Veil kept him awake. The dreams of McGonagall subsided a bit, but they were still there. That day seeing Ron and Hermione together was his current nightmare, one that refused to relent.
"Yeah?" Harry asked, and saw Hermione standing in her robe holding a book. She was holding a book tight against her chest, and had a look of surprise. He rubbed the back of his head and used his other arm to lean against the door frame "hi." He couldn't look at her. It just hurt too much to know that she was willing to make a choice and did.
"I-I-I-" Hermione stammered. Miss-know-it-all was without something to say, it was a first. He shook his head; he wasn't this cruel normally, why was he now. Because they left me alone.
"It helps if you pause before thinking," Harry said, and Hermione blushed. It was something she said to him a long time ago. Now, it seemed like it was from a dream.
"I didn't expect you to answer." Hermione looked down. "You usually don't."
"I usually don't hear anything either." Harry wanted to look into her eyes again, but when she looked back up, he turned away. There was along period of silence between them, and it was Hermione who broke it.
"Why?" she asked. It was the question that must have been plaguing her for a while. She couldn't look at him either, afraid of his answer and his eyes.
"Because I'm alone." He replied after a while. Hermione started to reply. "And don't tell me I'm not. You and Ron are by yourself now, and I don't care if you tried, that didn't change the fact that you are. Everyone thinks I'm crazy and has been avoiding me. And while I may have Hedwig, it gets lonely without someone to finish the conversation."
"We didn't leave you alone." Hermione looked down, ashamed. "We offered to help with the horacruxes and you refused us, even banishing us from Snuffles' House. We offered to bring you along when we went to Hogsmeade and-"
"Yeah, as a third wheel?" Harry's voice began to rise. "Hell, Ron threatened me to stay away from you not hours before hand." This revelation was shocked her more than his outburst. "And you are clearly happier around him then you were ever around me." Hermione seemed taken aback at his words. She wasn't used to this kind of Harry, so direct and mean to her. "Don't lie to me Hermione. You may have offered but you never meant it. I saw it in Ron's eyes and even in yours. I'm not important to your world anymore. Merlin, I don't even know if I ever was. And you know what? That's fine by me. I'll defeat him byself like it was meant to be" Harry slammed the door shut, unwilling to allow her to see the tears that were in his eyes. He had steeled himself against everything, but that was when it was behind him. It hurt to hear himself talk like that, allowing his anger to get the best of him. Sad as it was, he knew all the words he spoke were true. He never knew where he stood with one Hermione Granger.
Hedwig had awaked during his rant and flew over to him. She nuzzled in his hair again, offering her apology. "Not your fault." Harry looked at his friend and petted her feathers softly. Her eyes said differently, as if, I know, brother, but still… Harry laughed, but didn't smile when he heard Hermione's feet running away. He was thankful as it was carrying away her crying too. Hermione crying broke his heart every time. Hedwig looked at him as if to say, you shouldn't have been so cruel. "Well, I couldn't not tell her how I feel." She nodded and rested against her friend and master.
She had seen how the relationship of Ron and Hermione tore at him. Harry was more of a brother than anything, and if she was human and could speak, she would have told him. Hedwig was intelligent enough to know that Harry wasn't her type if he had been an owl, or her a human. But that didn't mean she didn't feel anything for him at all. She would protect her brother with her life. He needed this more so than his friendship with Hermione right now. Ron had turned into a prat and she pecked at him whenever she got close to the boy. He probably didn't mean to rub the relationship in Harry's face, but he did. That only added to Harry's pain. Hermione confused her. She knew that the girl was hurt by Harry's withdrawal, yet she did nothing for the boy.
"Well, since we're both up, why don't I go for a run and you go get some food so we're ready for the day." Hedwig sighed if a bird could, but relented. Harry needed his runs whenever he got caught up in everything. It was one of his few moments when the peace that he had before his fifth year came back.
Three days passed quickly, and Harry hadn't heard or seen Hermione in that time. But he was finished. The transmutation circle he needed was completed on the papers, and he triple checked everything. His materials came in and he had them off to side as he prepared the room. Slowly, Harry conjured shelves for all his books and notes, placing everything off to the side. He needed plenty of room, so he quickly cleared off most of the floor. Standing up, he admired his work. The room was perfectly clean, including his desk that was always filled with his notes and drawings. Smiling at Hedwig, he began to draw his transmutation circle that he needed.
After three hours of work, Harry finished. It was perfect. There were no flaws, the circles were consistent, the triangles and lines straight. There was nothing wrong with his drawing; this meant it was time for his elements.
"Water, 35 liters; carbon, 20 kilograms; ammonia, 4 liters; lime, 1.5 kilograms," Harry read out loud, looking at a tub which held all of what he needed. "Phosphorous, 800 grams; salt, 250 grams, saltpeter, 100, sulfur 80; fluorine 7.5, iron 5, silicon 3, and trace amounts of fifteen other elements." He pulled out the knife that Sirius had given him so long ago. "Blood of my blood. You are family, Sirius and I gladly offer my own." Hedwig hooted. "You want to too?" she nodded. Clearly, she wanted to be part of this. After all, she was family. And they needed blood of family to do this. It was more of a summoning spell more than anything. "Okay, come here." He sliced a small cut on her talon and a drop of blood landed in the tub with the rest of elements. Harry cut his palm and allowed the blood to drop within the tub too. "Ready?" Hedwig nodded and landed next to Harry, her talons right on the edge of the transmutation circle. Harry slammed his palms together then threw them down upon the circle.
Everything was going according to plan. The light erupted from the circle around them, focusing in upon the elements. He followed the law rightfully; he left nothing out. But something was wrong. From blue to purple in a matter of seconds, Harry knew… this was why human alchemy was forbidden.
Black tentacles reached out from nowhere, grabbing Hedwig. Harry reached for his friend, but was too late. He dove, but a black tentacle held onto his left leg. "Hedwig!! No!!!" he held out his hand, hoping to reach for his friend. He couldn't lose her too. Watching in horror as a door closed around Hedwig he heard nothing but her hooting echoing in his ears. No…. please Merlin no…..
Through sheer will alone, Harry survived. His leg was gone, as was his best friend since he had known the wizarding world. Looking up, he saw two red eyes looking at him. "Sirius?" It didn't work, for as the smoke cleared, he saw a mangled and dying body of something that wasn't human. The thing before him moaned its pain, and Harry felt sick. He vomited and coughed as he turned away. The creation was a failure. It didn't work, Harry slammed his hand unto the ground; it didn't work at all. All that effort for nothing. Sirius was gone for good. Holding back the tears, he had to bring back his only friend. With one last ditch effort, he drew another circle. He needed his sister back. Even if it cost him his life.
Hermione was in the infirmary, working on her private studies. She planned on being a healer, since death was going to be around so much during the war, someone needed to stop it. After watching Harry get hurt so much and feeling helpless, she couldn't stand by and do nothing. So here she was, working on her private studies. A first year had come in with a stomachache and Hermione was talking with the child now, trying to calm her down. Apparently, she thought that Madame Pomfrey was scary, so she was frightened to even come to the infirmary. "Don't worry," Hermione said, petting the girl's soft hair. "There's nothing to be afraid of here."
The doors were kicked open, and standing there, holding a boy whose right arm and left leg were gone, was a woman in full armor. The little girl Hermione was caring for screamed. The woman's white hair fell behind her head, almost like a crown of feathers. She was beautiful. Blood was dripping on to the floor. "Please, help him, he's all I've got." Hermione looked at the girl and noticed something, the eyes. They were Hedwig's. That was impossible. There was no way she could be human. Never in the history of magic had it ever happen, but that didn't prevent people from trying. The woman was crying…. "He tried so hard and then failed."
Madame Pomfrey came out of her office. "What in Merlin's name-" she never finished for seeing Harry's body bleeding to death was enough to stop anyone in their tracks.
"Help him, I'm begging you," the woman repeated herself. She was clearly distraught at the thought of
Harry dying. Hermione was too. "For Merlin's sake, help him." She was breaking down in tears and sobs,
begging to save Harry. Hermione knew that she would too if she was in the same position.
"Right this way," She pointed to the bed. The woman brought Harry over.
Hermione watched in horror Madame Pomfrey quickly worked on Harry. He had lost much blood and had three IV's dripping into him. He was paler than she had ever seen him, and his black hair and beard only made it worse. He had lost his entire right arm and left leg. The nurse said there was nothing left to grow from, other than the nerves that were once connected to them. Looking over at the woman who had brought him, she was sure that it was Hedwig, despite not being an owl. The eyes were a gateway to the soul, and those eyes were the same yellow ones that Hedwig held attentive Harry for the past six years. Yet, her doubt didn't allow her to accept that. Magic said it was impossible to make a animal human.
"Hedwig," Harry whispered, and Hermione was the second one to him. The woman was at his side. "I'm so sorry." His voice was horse and weak.
"Shh," the woman said, calmly. She petted back his sweaty hair and looked at his eyes. "I'm here, brother. You don't die on me, you hear me? You aren't going to die." Tears flowed down her face. Hermione thought that she was a statue that had come to life, but it was a real person. Human and alive. "Please don't die, you're all I have left." Harry nodded.
"You're alive?"
"Yeah, you saved me, Harry," she allowed her tears to fall again "You saved me."
"I'm glad you're alive, I couldn't lose you too." Harry fell asleep and Madame Pomfrey wiped the sweat off of her brow. The woman smiled sweetly at Harry, holding his hand tightly. The tears were flowing down her face freely now.
"He's stable, but not out of the woods yet," she said. "I for one would like to know what he was doing that caused this damage."
"I believe Mr. Potter was working with Alchemy, wasn't he, Hedwig," Professor McGonagall said, appearing out of nowhere. The woman nodded. Hermione was right. Somehow, Harry had done it. He made an animal completely human.
"What was he doing with Alchemy, professor?" Hermione asked, walking slowly over to Harry's body. His chest was moving slowly up and down. He looked like he was in a lot of pain
"He was trying to bring back someone to talk to," the woman said acidly. "He was alone, Hermione, or don't you remember that conversation you had with him" Hermione gasped at the woman's words. "He just wanted to be with his Godfather again, and something went wrong." She brought his hand up to his cheek and rubbed it softly against it. "And somehow, this happened. As unhappy as I am like this, I will do my best for you, Harry. Now I can protect you the way I always wanted to, big brother."
"Hermione, why don't we go and leave them alone, Madame Pomfrey can watch after them." Professor McGonagall placed a hand on Hermione's shoulder, and she broke down into tears. She had hurt Harry so much and now, he might die. She ran out of the room, away from her best friend until this year. She didn't know what to do. Harry was hurt and thought he was alone. After their conversation that morning, Hermione thought of her actions. He was right, she was pushing him away at time to be with Ron. But she rationalized that as the fact that she was his boyfriend, it was okay to spend time with her boyfriend. But not when you forsake everything else. A voice that sounded awful a lot like Harry told her.
Hermione had confronted Ron that morning too, when he finally woke up. He didn't seem fazed by what she said, treating her almost like she was a prize. Their relation had started to deteriorate. Somewhere, they lost the love that they once had for each other. Yet Hermione stayed with it, hoping that they could work it out. There were good and bad times, and she figured that was common amongst relationships. But their conversation brought much doubt to her mind. When she left the common room in tears, she was determined to talk to Harry again. But she couldn't gather the courage. And now three days later, her friend nearly died. Her life was falling apart and she couldn't stop it.
"Ms. Granger," Professor McGonagall appeared right in front of her. Somehow she had found herself right back at the infirmary. "I doubt running from your problems will solve anything." The new Headmistress had really stepped up in place of Dumbledore's shoes. It must have been hard, but she was doing a wonderful job at it. Hermione respected her favorite teacher even more because of it.
"What happened professor?" Hermione said, through her tears. She was unable to bring herself into the room. Seeing Harry in that much pain and covered in blood hurt her too much.
"Harry had been working with Alchemy since the beginning of the school year," McGonagall looked sad. "He was lonely, and I'm sad to say, that we are all in fault of that." Hermione nodded. No one had really been there for Harry. "I was glad to see him and Professor Lupin talking this year. To see that child smiling is a blessing, especially after all that had happened.." She looked down. Professor Lupin and Harry talked a lot this year. The topics changed sometimes, but often it was about Sirius and his parents. Some nights when Harry went to his secessions, he didn't come back until very late, and Hermione was usually asleep by then.
"So was Harry trying to make Hedwig human?" she figured that was what he meant to do. After all, he would have lost an arm and a leg for something that difficult.
"No, he was trying to bring back Sirius." McGonagall began to walk. "Come with me. There is something we need to take care." Hermione followed behind her headmistress, still confused. She didn't know much about Alchemy, which meant the next day; she would spend in the library learning about it.
"I take it, something went wrong?" Hermione asked. But McGonagall didn't say anything, so she took it as she was meant to be quiet.
After walking a bit, they made it to Harry's room. It was simple door, yet only few people could get in. Hermione watched as the headmistress move to open the door. her hand paused before opening it though. "Ms. Granger, I am unsure of how the situation is at hand right now. Are you sure you want to see this?" Hermione nodded, trying to be brave. Professor McGonagall opened the door, and smoke escaped from the room. Smells immediately invaded her nose. Blood, pain, death. It was horrible. McGonagall drew his wand and lit it. She sighed and walked into the room
Hermione followed it and had a hard time seeing through the smoke. She walked straight into the room. The thick gray smoke covered most of the room. The smell of blood was sickening, but after seeing Harry, she wasn't surprised at the amount. A hand reached out and grabbed her foot. Hermione drew her wand and pointed straight down. She lit her wand was shocked to see what was holding. It wasn't even human. The nose was missing and the thing was wheezing. A lung was exposed along right next to one of the legs, and the arms were twisted in abnormal positions. Pieces of its body were all over the place, and it was just dying in that tub it was in. Hermione started to scream, but a hand covered her mouth. "This is what happens when wizards try to reach the sun."
McGonagall stood behind her, having surprising amounts of strength for such an old woman. She held her student up, leaning her against her body. Hermione was afraid she was going to collapse from the smells and sights. "This is what has been forbidden." Hermione wanted to look away. "No, you must see why. Harry knows what he did, but you can not learn from actions alone, you must learn from the reasons that brought that action upon him." The thing groaned, and released Hermione. It reached upward, for the sun that was hidden."
"He started studying this year, Hermione." Not once had McGonagall ever used her first name to her. But she couldn't take her eyes off of that disgusting thing before them. "He learned everything, showing what a true prodigy he was in the field. No one, not even Flamel could come as close as Harry did, let alone survive. Alchemy comes at a price. To obtain, something must be lost of equal value. Harry thought that he could bring Sirius back, but one cann't place a price on a soul. There isn't a way known to wizardkind to bring back a soul from the dead." She slowly removed her hand from Hermione's mouth, allowing her to speak again. She wasn't afraid anymore, and her curiosity was getting the better of her fear.
"Why do it, though?" Hermione repeated.
"Because we abandon him when he needed us the most." McGonagall looked down. Hermione turn to the old woman and saw her eyes water up. She figured that it was from the smoke. "We all thought he was okay for that is what he told us. But we should have seen the truth." She crouched down to look directly into her eyes. They were no longer twinkling like they usually did. Somewhere along the way, she had acquired Dumbledore's twinkle. It was comforting to see it, and now it just hurt so much to not see it.
Sadness evoked so much in Hermione from looking at her headmaster. He was in just as much pain as Hermione at what Harry had done. "Harry has never known love Hermione, until he came here. He had friends, and soon a family. But between the Ministry two years ago, Dumbledore's death last year and all of our actions this year, he lost all of that. He lost his family. He couldn't die either, knowing what was at stack, so he took the only other option that he could see: bring his family back."
He pointed at the thing again, and it screamed its agony. Hermione tried to cover its ears. "No, you must hear this, Hermione." He pulled her hands down to her side and forced to look into his old eyes. "Alone and empty, he studied. He allowed his mind to grow, acting like a sponge and absorbing all the information he could get on Alchemy. In this room, he practice day in and day out. For a while, I almost thought we had the old Harry back. Then something happened a month ago that made everything turn for the worst."
Hermione thought back to a month ago. She gasped. It was all her fault. For a while, she thought things were going great, he was even talking to them again. But then she blew up at Harry over something pointless and trivial. He had wanted to talk the previous day and she dismissed him for Ron. When Harry approached her about it, she yelled at him, saying that all he wanted was attention from everyone and everything. That his fame finally had gotten to his head. That he wanted to break her and Ron. She was awful, cruel…. Harry was right about her. When the last time they spoke, she wasn't even sure if he was even their friend any more. She nearly broke down into tears, but one nagging thought struck her hard. "Professor, if this is what happens when you try to bring a person back," she gulped, "Then how did he make Hedwig human."
McGonagall smiled, proud of what the Boy-who-Lived had done. "Harry is much smarter than we give him credit for. A binding to an inanimate object is consuming." He pointed to the spot where a mannequin once stood. "So he made one alive through Transfiguration." Hermione nodded. It was possible to create all the components for a human body through Transfiguration, but no one had ever made one come alive. "He had a soul, and that was the spark that he needed." There was dead silence; the thing had finally died. Hermione was glad that she didn't have to deal with it any more. "You may head back to your dormitory."
"But-"
"I think Harry needs some time to recover, Ms. Granger," McGonagall said. He led her over to the door. "He and Hedwig need to talk about things before any of us talk to them." She stepped out of the room and back into the corridor. So much had happened. She should head back to her room, but she needed to know something. Without a second thought, she rushed down the hallway to the library, wanting to learn just what Harry did to cause so much damage to himself and Hedwig.
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