A/N: This is my first fiction on PK and is slightly A/U with mention of CD Players and other "small things"-- also for characters I invented and worked into the story. Rated NC-17 for later chapters. It's fluffy, not meant to follow JK's canon and written just for fun, for me. A friend convinced me to apply to PK and put it up here, so here is the first chapter! I have MANY more chapters and will post often! I started this the month before HBP came out and decided to not write anything from that book into here; so this is what I think their sixth and seventh year would have been like in my own little world. Reviews appreciated! Thanks! And, obviously, I don't own anything associated with JK and friends.
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The Summer
It was one week exactly since Harry had defeated Voldemort, for an unprecedented fifth time. It was exactly one week since he had killed Voldemort, for the unprecedented first time.
He was exhausted, physically sore and very happy that he could use magic out of school in just 23 days. His "family" knew that once this happened, Harry would have the upper hand and because of this fact, the Dursley's were almost walking on eggshells around him. They let him come and go as he pleased, but they still had him clean up meals and Dudley still taunted him, until Harry would start muttering what were just nonsense words under his breath, then Dudley would go pale and high tail it away from him.
So, it was for the first time that Harry decided he deserved to have a normal, teenage life. Voldemort was gone and the Death Eaters were no where to be seen. Therefore, what Harry had told Uncle Vernon at breakfast the next morning, made his face turn more purple than he could imagine.
"Aunt Petunia and I aren't taking you anywhere!" Uncle Vernon had growled over breakfast.
Harry glanced as his aunt who was busy making herself some tea. She had her lips set in a very thin line, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. Ever since she was reminded of her promise by Dumbledore's Howler last year, she didn't say much to Harry at all. He didn't know whether to be wary that she was saving up all that anger, or thankful for not hearing her shrill voice in his ears.
"I know all about how to take a bus; I can take care of myself," Harry stood up and cleaned up his dishes, while Uncle Vernon grunted at him. He pretty much knew that he couldn't keep Harry inside and that in a little more than three weeks he would be of age to use magic in the house. He knew Harry was pretty much on his own now and was only letting him stay under his roof at the insistence of his wife.
Harry didn't know if Aunt Petunia ever told her husband the full reason WHY he had to stay here over the summer. Merlin knows Harry would have preferred The Burrow, or even staying at school. He would have even helped Filch get ready for the following year; that was how much he hated it at the Dursley's.
Every time he left Hogwarts, at the end of every June, he felt that he left his heart back there. His friends had to drag him onto the train, with promises of seeing him soon and getting him out of Privet Drive. No matter how quickly the Weasley's came, it was never soon enough for him to get to Ron's. But, this year, he knew Ron would be working in Fred and George's joke shop all this summer, so he doubted that he was getting out of here anytime soon. Mrs. Weasley had said that he could come over whenever he wanted, but he didn't feel comfortable being there while Ron was gone all day. So, he figured he would go into town, peruse a book store, check out the music store, anything to keep him away from number 4.
Harry ambled down Privet Drive, walking the mile to the Muggle Bus Stop (his aunt and uncle would never live near a bus stop. "Those Types of People", his Aunt had said a few years back, "who ride the bus can't be trusted"; "They will walk on your lawn and ruin your plants," Uncle Vernon had agreed.). He looked around him at the people watering their flowers, kids riding on bikes. Usually, no one paid particular attention to him; he had always been kind of invisible. But today was different for some reason. Occasionally, someone would raise a hand halfheartedly in a wave. He wondered if Mrs. Figg had been telling them things, nice things, because it was more of a greeting than he usually received.
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Harry leaned against the sign and waited for the bus to come down the lane. The sun was starting to warm up the air and fell upon his face and was bright enough that he wished he had bought a pair of sunglasses. He could feel the humidity in the air; it was going to be a hot day and there wasn't any air conditioning in his bedroom, something he wished his aunt and uncle would purchase.
He stood up as the bus came to a stop and he climbed aboard, dropping in some money to pay his fare, to get him to the next town, and sat down in the first available seat. He sat back and gazed out the window at the scenery rolling by. For the first time he felt relaxed, he didn't feel like he had to look over his shoulder or protect his thoughts from anyone's mind. His scar felt fine, he was slowly recovering from his last few weeks at Hogwarts and he almost felt normal-if this was what normal was supposed to feel like.
As the bus slowly made its way through traffic, Harry's mind wandered freely back to a conversation and, well, for lack of a better term an "interaction" he'd had with Hermione one late night at school.
Harry was sitting in the Gryffindor Common Room staring at his parchment where he was supposed to be explaining the latest Potion he couldn't make. He scribbled a few notes about it, then propped his chin in his hand. Most of the students were in bed already. Ron and Seamus were already asleep having beaten Harry in a game of wizard chess earlier. He turned his attention to his parchment and scribbled, "The maximum number of minutes to let this potion sit undisturbed is…," damn, he couldn't remember…was it five or eight minutes? Numbers swam in Harry's head as he heard the familiar footsteps of Hermione coming down from the girls' dormitory. She had her hair down in braids, which is how she always wore her hair at night. She had on a thin cotton long sleeve white robe and bare feet. Harry looked up at her as she sat down, his eyebrows raised questioningly. She took a seat across from him at the end of the table.
"I know I should be in bed," Harry said for her before she could open her mouth.
Hermione gave a small laugh and flipped one of her long braids over her shoulder.
"Am I that predictable?" she asked, stretching her legs in front of her.
"Well, you always tell me that when it's late and I am the last one up, or the second to last one up."
Harry decided that his Potions wasn't going anywhere so rolled it up and tucked it into his bag. He reached his arms up and stretched…it had been a long day between classes and Quidditch practice. He was exhausted and yawned hugely as Hermione watched him.
When he had grown so much? His arms and legs were so long, and he had filled out quite nicely with all the good food served in the dining room. He always arrived at Hogwarts skinnier than when he left. Lately, he seemed so tired with practice, classes, and the DA lessons. During the past year, she had become so focused on protecting him and making sure he had all the strength he could for when Voldemort came back. Everyone knew the Dark Lord was waiting…waiting for something...he would be back of which there was no doubt. They just didn't know when, and Harry's scar had been eerily normal feeling which just upped their sense of danger.
Hermione noticed that his hair was messed up, like usual, and he had taken off his glasses. Harry caught her looking at him and without his glasses she was blurry; but he knew she was looking at him.
"What?" he asked and cocked his head to the side, waiting for another, "You should be…," comment to come out of her mouth. But, she didn't say anything. He reached for his glasses so he could see her more clearly but before he could reach them, her hand reached over to his and grabbed it. For a second all she did was lean over and hold his hand.
"It's not fair," Hermione said softly. Harry was so taken aback that he didn't even respond. He rested his left arm on the table and leaned in a bit. She was still blurry but he could see she wasn't smiling.
"You shouldn't have to be dealing with Voldemort. You should be able to be a normal 16 year old wizard."
She stopped and Harry noticed for the first time her thumb was tracing small circles on the back of his hand. She always fidgeted with her hands when she was nervous and Harry had no idea where she was going with this. He knew her well enough to keep quiet. She always needed to organize her thoughts before she said them aloud.
"I think when Voldemort comes, and we know he will, that it will be different than before. You both are stronger…but what if he is the strongest one this time? What if Dumbledore doesn't come…," she stopped because her voice caught in her throat.
Harry, never letting go of her hand, stood up and walked over to her. He crouched down in front of her, settling their hands in her lap. He put his free hand over top of hers, trying to give her a sense of comfort.
"He will. Dumbledore will. And if not, I can defeat him. I don't want to fight him, but I know I'll need to. I'll be fine because I have way too much to lose to not defeat him," Harry said softly, now feeling her other hand cover his. He had never been this intimate with her before. She had grabbed his hand before in fear, or to drag him somewhere but there was something else behind this touch.
"Hermione, look at me…come on…even with my glasses off I can see you looking away," he saw her give a small smile and got down on his knees and pulled himself up so they were face to face. She looked very scared and more anxious than he had ever seen her. Maybe she sensed something he didn't. She had a very good intuition and he now knew to trust it.
"We will…I will…be fine. I haven't made it this far to lose. He is getting more and more angry that I am still around and with that anger, he might make a mistake. Now that I am pretty good at Occlumency I feel more confident than ever," he squeezed her hands with his. Her long fingers wrapped around his and they stared at each other for a moment.
Even without his glasses he could see how her dark brown eyes searched his face. He didn't know why she was so intent on looking at him and it was starting to make him uncomfortable, so to disguise it he stood up and pulled her with him. She reached out and wrapped her arms around him.
For a moment, Harry was too surprised to do anything. There was almost desperation about her. He wrapped his arms around her back, noticing her head only came to his chin. 'When did she get so short?' Harry wondered as he held her, not wanting to pull away. He felt a sense of peace come over him as she laid her head on his chest. For a moment they just felt each other breathing and heard the crackling of the fire. Then, very softly, Hermione started talking.
"I am just very scared this time Harry. I don't know why and it scares me. The Prophecy just keeps playing in my head over and over again. I have these awful dreams that you are fighting him, that Ron and I can't help you. It seems like HE is in MY head."
And with that she pulled away and looked up at him. Harry gazed down at her, his hands on her shoulders. Her hands were still on his waist and Harry felt something tug at his heart as she looked up at him. His eyes searched hers and had the sudden urge to kiss her, just a quick one, just to let her know that he really appreciated someone looking after him (most of the time). And for a moment he thought he might, until she took a step back, hitting the chair. She gave a small smile and dropped her hands from his waist, which Harry took as a hint to remove his from her shoulders. He felt he needed to say something. How could he even think to kiss Hermione? Maybe Ron was right, maybe Harry was staying up too late at night.
"Don't worry about me…I am and will be fine….especially if I can pass this Potions exam," he saw her smile and gave her a little shove towards her stairs. He told her to go to bed and that he was going up as soon as he collected his things.
As he put his glasses back on and made his way upstairs he could still feel her strong arms around him, like they never wanted to let go. For the first time, he saw something that looked like a weakness in her and he couldn't figure out why or exactly what it was. Why, all of a sudden was he protective of her?
Harry felt the bus pull up to his stop, so he had to stop daydreaming. He smiled to himself, thinking about what had happened the following month. Something he thought he would have never seen in all his years at Hogwarts….but he would have to replay that in his head another time. The book store was across the street, waiting for him to go through the books to see what kind of things Muggles liked to read.
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Six hours later, Harry dragged himself into number 4 Privet Drive.
Merlin! Riding the bus was a pain. His birthday couldn't come soon enough…then he could apparate himself anywhere!
No one was home when he got in; he half expected them to lock him out but the back door was open so he slid in there, wishing again that they had air conditioning. He planned on getting a shower, a snack, and then maybe checking out the book on football that he'd bought. As Harry entered his room he saw Hedwig sitting on top of her cage with a message rolled up on her leg. He hurried over to her.
"Thanks, Hedwig," Harry patted her on the head and she gave a hoot, entered her cage and immediately took a long drink of water. Harry sat on his bed and kicked off his shoes. He unrolled the long parchment, knowing at once it was from Hermione. Ron would never write anything so long!
Harry,
How is your summer going at the terrible Dursley house? My parents gave me the summer off from working, figuring I will be out in the "real world" soon enough. So, that just gives me more time to read.
Thank you so much for the updated Hogwarts: A History. I never thought I would ever see Fred and George's name in there as the "greatest prank ever pulled by students", but there it was! I hope you like the Quidditch shirt I gave you. I don't know if you realized it or not, but when you wear it in the Muggle world, they see the local football team on there, but only a witch or wizard can see that it is the Chudley Cannons.
I received a note from Ron that he is working at Fred and George's joke shop. I can hardly wait to see what he brings to school in September. Being a prefect you would think he would know better…
I plan on doing my first out of school apparition soon! I was thinking of popping over for a visit. Would you like a visitor? Just let me know; I don't want to make your aunt and uncle more upset than they already are!
Oh, and Harry, you better be resting after that battle with V. I saw how exhausted you were on the train, sleeping most of the way home. I am glad this is all over because during the last few months, my nerves were shot-as you probably noticed.
Write back ASAP!
Love, Hermione
She still managed to get in her two cents worth…always worrying about him. She had seemed more maternal than ever during their sixth year and he and Ron had chalked it up to hormones. It HAD to be with the way she had been acting, especially the last few months of the school year.
As Harry undressed and entered the shower he thought about how Hermione, and Ron to a certain extent, hovered over him last year. Many of the other Hogwarts students figured he could do everything himself. Not in a mean way, just that he had defeated Voldemort five times, the fifth with some help from Dumbledore, and his peers just thought that if he could do that, then he could hold his own.
But, then June rolled around and Voldemort had decided to interrupt a Quidditch match to try and rid the world of Harry once and for all. No one interrupts Quidditch and for the first time, Harry held felt fear when he saw Voldemort materializing on the field below.
Harry rubbed shampoo into his wet hair, thinking about how quickly Voldemort appeared on the grounds.
He remembered his first thought was, "How in the hell did he apparate into Hogwarts?"
Then, at that moment, he understood how Hermione was feeling. Harry felt the fear for his teammates, for Ron who was holding onto one of the rings because he was shaking so bad, even the look on Malfoy's face was one of mixed emotions.
Harry also understood why Hermione had done what she had the week before, up on the Astronomy Tower, because right then as he faced Voldemort he had felt what it would feel like if Voldemort said THE curse to Ron or Hermione. That is how Hermione had to have been feeling that past few months….thinking about what would happen if he, or Ron, were struck dead. He had seen it happen to Cedric and thought he would never be able to live through another scene like that one.
Harry put a hand to his head as he got grabbed his broom for practice.
For the past week his scar would burn on and off all day. He knew Voldemort was coming, knew it would be soon, knew he would be more powerful, but that was all he knew. He hadn't told anyone about his scar hurting. He had learned that no one could really help him with the scar and the pain it gave him when Voldemort was near. And the way Ron was jumpy (mostly because Hermione was acting strangely) he didn't want to add any more emotions to the mix that was already being displayed by Hermione. For the past five years she was the strong one. She had plans, she always had 100% trust in Harry and because of her, Harry believed in himself. Now, she hugged him every time they said goodnight in the common room. She would be glancing at him when she thought he was engrossed in homework or a game with Ron. She never seemed to be more than a few feet away from them and even Ron could feel something was wrong.
"I asked Ginny if she knew what was up with her, but she swore she didn't," Ron said during a walk to the Quidditch pitch one evening.
"That doesn't mean much," Harry sniffed, "they are best friends. Ginny would tell you that whether she knows or not."
"So, are you going to meet her on the Astronomy tower tonight like she asked?" Ron questioned. He had seen Hermione pass him a note (PASS HIM A NOTE! IN CLASS! HERMIONE??) during their DADA class earlier that day. Harry had let Ron read it.
"Yeah, I will. Maybe she wants to tell me what is going on. At first I thought she was depressed over Viktor pretty much pushing her away, but that doesn't make much sense as to why she is always hugging me," Harry propped his broom up against the door to the locker room and bent down to retie his shoes.
"Or just hanging around in general. She actually followed us to practice yesterday. What is she thinking will happen?"
"I don't really know. Maybe she is trying in her own way to make sure we are safe."
"Yeah, well she is doing that hugging thing a lot, yes sir. Even Luna picked up on it and if Luna actually notices something---," Ron gave Harry a wink and Harry rolled his eyes. "Maybe she luuuuurrrrves you!"
"Shut up. Let's go practice," Harry said and didn't even attempt to hit Ron, which made Ron wonder all the more what was going on.
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That evening, around 8pm, Harry made his way to the tower. She was already there, not dressed in her robes but in a nice warm sweater and jeans. Harry had changed out of Quidditch practice clothes and put on the first thing he grabbed…sweatpants and a sweatshirt. He walked over to the telescope where she was gazing into the eye piece.
"Look at this…," Hermione stepped back and Harry bent down and could see Mars in all it's glory right in the middle. He moved the telescope a little and found the crescent moon that was shining brigtly.. Very beautiful indeed, almost innocent looking. He turned towards Hermione, and leaned back against the wall.
"You know, people only come here at this time to snog, so Ron is really wondering what we are doing up here," he joked trying to get her to smile. Hermione stood about three feet away from him, her hands in her back pockets. He could tell she was trying to gather her thoughts, and from the lack of response (a 'Ron can sod off for all I care' would have been typical) he knew she was being serious again, like a few weeks ago in the common room.
"I asked you to come here because I am truly worried about your next…," she paused searching for the word and stared up at the heavens as if asking for help, "…encounter with Voldemort. I am really, truly scared this time, Harry, and I wish that there was a way that you would just not fight him. But, there is no way that I have found in which that can happen."
Her words came out in rush as she looked down from the sky and to the telescope to his left. Harry noticed she had yet to look him in the eyes. Even though it was dark, he could still see the light from the moon reflecting off her face and she looked scared.
Harry inwardly sighed, "I know you are worried as well as Ron. I am scared too, but this is something I know I have to do. I have been having extra lessons with Snape trying to become an expert at Occlumency. Dumbledore has called me into his office to ask how I have been, and has been giving me some guidance. I know people are worried and you aren't the only one."
Harry stuck his hands behind his back and leaned against the wall, watching her, trying to gain more clues about why she brought him here.
"I really appreciate you trying to find a way to get me out of this, because I would love to not fight him, but you know that this is pretty much my destiny."
"I know!" Hermione said with so much emotion in her voice he jumped a bit.
"You are 16 and shouldn't have to have a destiny. You shouldn't have the future decided for you and death shouldn't be…death shouldn't be a part of it yet!" She started pacing now, so upset she couldn't get the words out that she wanted to say. Harry now knew what was going on inside of her and why she had been so anxious the past month.
"You really think that it will be me that dies, don't you?" he asked quietly. She stopped about a foot away from him and for the first time, looked up at him. "I won't Hermione. You have to believe me that I wouldn't do that to you."
"But, I can't get it out of my head. I try and try because you made it this far without losing. But when I think about it, I realize I don't know what I would do without you-," she paused and wiped at tears that were falling down her face. Shocked, Harry stared at her realizing he had never really seen her cry like this before.
'What should I do?' he thought, lost. Therefore, he did the first thing that came to his mind. He reached over and pulled her to him. She just leaned into him and sobbed, months of worrying pouring out of her. She really was afraid he was going to die and he could see that his "destiny" was tearing her apart.
He could feel her hair against his cheek as he rubbed his hands up and down her back, trying to calm her down. Harry also felt tears come to his eyes because he felt like he had put this burden upon her. Closing his eyes he willed her to stop crying, thinking this was one sound that could live without hearing every again; it hurt him physically to hear her crying.
Slowly, minute by minute she did calm down, giving a little hiccup every now and then as she tried to steady her breathing. She took one arm from behind his back and wiped her tears away, mumbling an apology.
"Shhh," he whispered and put a hand on the small of her back, feeling how she was shaking.
"Why didn't you tell me this was bothering you so much, earlier?" he asked quietly and he felt her shake her head back and forth and felt a little shrug under his arms.
He stood there for a minute taking everything in. The cool night air, his arms wrapped around her, her arms wrapped securely around his waist. He could smell something like flowery shampoo in her hair. For was what not the first time he felt something pull at his stomach, like he had felt for Cho, but this was for Hermione.
HERMIONE! His thoughts were racing, trying to logically pull something out of his head as to why his stomach was fluttering and why he was noticing things like how good her hair smelled or how warm she was. He had just seen a very vulnerable side of her; no one else had ever seen her cry like that that he knew of, so maybe it was just the moment.
"I just don't know what I would do," Hermione mumbled softly, as if she didn't want him to hear her.
Harry pushed her away a bit so he could see her face. There see tear tracks on her cheeks, her eyes were red and puffy, her mouth slightly open as she caught her breath. He could see her brown eyes filled with fear and memories flashed through him: the first time he had ever met her, the first time he had seen how smart she was when he fixed his glasses, how she came running to him after she had been petrified and they hugged in the dining room.
As he stood there staring at her, he felt like he was in a parallel universe. He felt like kissing her, he wanted to let her know how much she meant to him, to quell her fears about whatever might happen. And a voice inside his head said just do it, because if you don't you might not get another chance.
Hermione's eyes widened a bit as she saw him bend down towards her. His were searching hers for an answer, any clue for him to decipher that what he was about to do was the right thing.
He stopped for a moment, half wishing she would pull away so he would know that this was the wrong thing to do; half wishing that this was a whole lot easier than it was feeling at the moment. Hermione stared at him, not believing what was about to happen. Her heart was racing and for the first time, her mind was blank; void of any smart comment that would snap them back to the present.
She felt his hand tip her chin up and all of a sudden his lips were on hers. For a moment, they stood frozen, each afraid to move their hands, their mouths, anything.
Hermione felt a sob in her throat as she realized how brave he was being, taking this first step, risking everything they had together and she made a small noise. She pushed herself into him trying to let him know how she felt and he responded by kissing her softly, his hands pressing into her back. Their lips moved over each other's, slowly exploring this new territory.
She never thought it would be as sweet as this. She never thought that she would be up here kissing Harry.
He could feel her trembling under his embrace and could almost hear the beating of their hearts. She was kissing him so softly, so tenderly and he was eager to get to know this side of her.
Harry felt his heart racing in his throat, as he kissed her lightly and felt her respond. Already, this was a much different kiss than he had received from Cho. He wanted to hold Hermione and tell her how sorry he was for putting her through this, all of this. He put a hand to the back of her head and wrapped her hair through his fingers.
As she felt his hand slide up to her head, she pushed him back against the wall and kissed him more passionately than he dreamed a kiss could be. Her hands cupped his face as she pushed herself against his chest. He could feel the cold stone wall against his back, and the warmth of her and her hands against his cheeks. He didn't want this to stop and wondered if these feelings of flying happened to everyone when they had their first kiss with someone they truly, really, cared and loved. He loved the feel of her lips on his, the feel of her hands running over his shoulders and back down to his hips. He pulled her closer, if possible, against him. He could feel every part of her…her breasts pressed into his chest, her legs against his, her hands now on his neck. He gave himself into her sweet kiss that he had no idea how to stop. If there wasn't a wall behind him, he would have been on the ground because he was sure his legs would give out any moment. He wasn't going to be able to stop if this went any further.
Hermione heard a sharp intake of a breath, after their tongues touched. Was it her? Was it him? They were practically one and she had no idea where she stopped and where he began. She pulled his hips towards hers and felt him stiffen for a moment, then relax into her. He made a small noise and not paying attention to where his hands were, one ended up under the back of her sweater. As his hand touched her bare skin, Hermione gasped and forced herself to pull way.
They were both breathing heavily and staring at each other. Green eyes to brown eyes. No words were exchanged and neither moved. His hand stayed against the bare skin of her back. Her hands were so very still on his hips. He now knew…he knew that their friendship had just been taken to a different level.
"I-I'm," Hermione whispered and Harry shook his head slightly, resting a finger against her lips, not wanting to hear she was sorry. He didn't want anything to ruin this moment…the raw emotion that Hermione had just shown him and brought out from him was more than he ever thought he would see, or feel for anyone. A new, heavier need to protect her was draped around him like an invisibility cloak. They just stood there holding each other, not taking their eyes off each other for what seemed like eternity.
He needed to say something because his emotions were running wild. He had to rein them in, to grab them and hold onto them, or something was going to happen that he never thought in a million years of doing with Hermione.
"I think I understand now," he told her, referring to how she had been acting the past few months. Hermione nodded and stepped back, causing his hand slip out from her sweater. He could see she was exhausted and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
"Let's go in. We can talk later," he told her and again she nodded and walked with him, slowly, quietly, to the door leading down the stairs.
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