A/N: I am afraid that parts in this will cause…I guess a bit of controversy. I hope not but I can't do anything about it. Well, enjoy.
Chapter 14
Harry stretched out in the bed and opened his eyes, disappointed to see that the spot next to him was empty. As second later he cursed aloud and winced, squeezing his eyes shut again and trying to block everything out. He couldn't believe what had happened. Why had he let his feelings overtake his mind and actions? Right now he was a dirty, lying and cheating man and he hated it.
Life hadn't always been friendly to him. He had been doomed from the start: born with a prophecy hanging over him, his parents being murdered, and being sent to live with his cruel relatives who had nothing better to do then boss him around and neglect him. Through his years at school instead of being given a break he had been put through a series of challenges and tribulations. And the he found that he was the `chosen one' and he had to defeat Voldemort. And when Hermione left he never thought his life could be happy.
Meeting Bridge had been one of the happiest days of his life besides finding out that he was a wizard and when he met Ron and Hermione. All the dating had been a whirlwind of love and happiness. And then with the wedding and Kate's birth he didn't think he could he happier. And now he has done something that could ruin the happiness that has sustained him for these six or seven years. But then again it could open up to the opportunities of finding even more happiness but either way everything could go terribly wrong.
He rolled out of the bed and struggled about the room before he realized that he wouldn't find his clothes for work in there. Grimacing he trudged down the hall and got into the shower and changed quickly. Walking downstairs he found that it was still dark out, hardly even a ray of light coming up from the horizon.
Sitting down with a cup of coffee and the Daily Prophet he scanned through the news, trying to find something interesting. But in the wizarding world nothing else seemed to be all that notable. But if this news got out…well the reporters would have a field day.
He looked up to see Bridge's owl, Hera, swoop through the window. Carefully he detached the letter, fearing its contents. Though he knew if anything had happened Bridget would have let them know in a much quicker way.
Dearest Harry,
Things here have been tough and only the thought of you keeps me from falling over the edge of insanity. Even though I have hardly been here for a week already the days seem to be running together and blurring. I feel as if I live each day over and over again and life passes so slowly here I feel as if I haven't seen you in forever, when in truth you have been here only a couple days ago on Sunday, it only being Tuesday today.
My mother has been getting increasingly worse. She is hardly the woman I have grew up living with and loving to the bottom of my heart. I feel that I don't remember her at all but yet she is still very much the same in spirit and personality almost as if she might not be only days or even hours from her deathbed. It is hard to know if she will live through the night, her life is too fragile to even imagine. They still don't know what sickness has affected her in this way so there is no hope for a cure. We will just have to sit here armed with only each other and our prayers to guide us through this time.
I have yet to figure what I will do when she is gone. She has always been here for me, the strong one who is always confident in my abilities and loves me to the deep depths of her heart. She is so wise and knowing and my knowledge could never measure up. She is my strength I find that I will be happy to become just half the woman that she is and that she has always been. She is the one who taught me how to find love and lose it, how to take care of my own family and how to be a loving mother and even wife though she hardly had the chance to do so herself. She tells me everyday still to put yours and Kate's needs before my own as it is right to do so and as she did for me and my father. I don't yet know how I would be able to sacrifice my happiness if only for your own but when the time comes I think that I will be ready.
Harry be strong for me and take good care of Kate for the remainder of my trip. I will be back as soon as I can whether my mother lives or dies. I love you too much to imagine and I trust you with all of my being to be here for me when I need you the most
With love,
Bridge
Bridge's letter brought tears to Harry's eyes and he once again realized how awful a man that he was. She was so trusting and wonderful and she loved him. This deception would break her heart for sure but he couldn't help thinking that maybe she already knew. Rereading the last part of the letter he had this feeling that she was trying to hint that she isn't sure what she would do but she would do anything to make sure that he was happy, and then she just reiterated the fact that she loved and trusted him. It was something that practically broke his heart to pieces.
He set the letter back on the table, deciding to reply to it later. Sooner or later he was going to have to face Hermione and he might as well just get over it now instead of waiting till the last moment. With that decision made he pushed himself away from the table and stood up, heading over to the porch where he was sure Hermione was most likely waiting for the sun to rise. And no one knew as well as Harry that the sunrise was as good a time as any to have what he thought to be a very important conversation.
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Hermione shivered in the cool morning air and she wrapped her thin bathrobe tighter around her body to ward off the chill. She stood there, leaning on the railing and staring intently at the horizon waiting for something to happen. Possibly even something that would make what she did easier. Though she felt worse about herself than the night before as of this moment she had no thoughts of leaving once again. It wasn't right for her to just barge in here and take what she wanted but that was almost how it was turning out to be.
When she had been on the train coming back she had been thinking about her life and what she wanted to do now that she was back with her friends and family, starting a new chapter of her life. She remembered that day from a far since it seemed so far from now though it was only just about a week. She wanted a job and she wanted to one day have a family of her own to love and care for. So far she has just wrecked a wonderful family who all really loved each other. She could see how they cared for each other by the look in their eyes.
Hermione then made a new resolution. She would find a job and then immediately move out and find a place of her own. She could certainly go to Dean Thomas to ask about the job. There was no doubt that he would help her they were old friends after all. When she was out of the house she could let them go back to the way they were before she had intruded.
She did have to visit her parents. It should be a sin to be so close to her family and to not visit them in the time that she can. She knew that they had been devastated when she had left. She had gotten their letters and even wrote back to a few of them but she could never fully explain the motives behind what she did, even today she is still not too sure why she did it herself. There were also many old friends that she would like to visit from school and she did want to go back to Hogwarts and visit the memorial of the lives that were lost in the final battle. Seeing her old teachers and talking to them would make her feel at home. The world seemed so different after she had been so out of sync with everything.
She heard the creak of the door opening behind her. It was Harry.
She spoke without turning around, her voice extending barely above a whisper.
"Everything's going to change now, isn't it?"
"No," Harry answered after a moment. "Hermione nothing has to change, we can fix it. No one has to know and we can just put this minor infraction behind us and move on."
It was clear that they had both been thinking along the same lines. The both of them just wanted to forget and get over everything without there being anything crazy and drastic happen.
Hermione chuckled softly, half to herself and she turned a quarter of the way around to look at him. Cocking her head to the side she took him in: his confident stance and the harsh lines etched on his face. He was so much different than she remembered him; he seemed so much older than a man who is barely 26-years-old. She was caught off guard for a second and her light, amused smile turned to a frown, her eyebrows knitting together in thought. This was the first time that she and looked at him, like actually looked at him since she had returned. He had been through way too much.
Shaking her head she continued turning, her back to the horizon as she leaned back against the railing. "Do you really think that things can go back as they used to be? If you do I really pity you, you are just trying to make things worse. Harry, don't be a fool we can try to fix this all we want but why try to fix something that has never been broken? We made a mistake but you can't just ignore things. It will only make it worse. I love you, Harry, and I know that you love me. Do you really think that any of this is going to be able to work?"
Harry opened his mouth to speak but then closed it again as nothing came out. Hermione was speaking in circles. One minute she seemed to think that everything had to change but inside her mind he could tell that she had known she had to do something about this so it wouldn't affect anything.
"Harry," she said suddenly. "You know you are right. I am going to find a job and I'll leave here. But don't worry not for good again. This can be…I don't know. Maybe like a healing period of some sort. I feel bad enough already for all of this. What was I thinking?" Hermione left the railing and proceeded to pace the porch. She laughed almost bitterly and threw up her arms. "I was seriously going to say that I thought we should tell Bridget about this, the truth. I was always told that the truth sets you free. But you know what? It will only just make it worse."
She sighed and stopped her frantic pacing. "Harry, you can decide what to do on that end. Tell Bridge, or not. On my part I am going to get dressed and then I will go out and pay a visit to Dean. He can help me, I am sure. And then I will leave. I think that I need to catch up with my family and some of my other friends. I can be out of here and you don't have to worry about me anymore."
"But Hermione," Harry protested. "I don't want to lose you again. You can't just up and leave I will always worry about you."
"Oh, you are doing it again!" she exclaimed. "Why do you have to do this? Every time you talk to me about how much you care about me it just makes me fall even more in love with you. But-AH!" she screamed, her pent up frustration showing through. Without another word she stalked into the house and slammed the door behind her, leaving Harry to stare after trying to figure out what to do next.
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Bridget stretched out, trying to get the knots out of her back. She had been sleeping in a plastic chair for about a week and a half now and it never got any more comfortable. It had been many days since she had written her letter to Harry and yet her mother was still hanging on. As she looked over Caitlyn this morning she could see very obvious improvements.
Her complexion wasn't as pale anymore: there was color in her cheeks and the veins on her neck no longer stood out as much. Her brown hair wasn't as lank and it seemed to have more body. Her lips had filled out and her facial features weren't as sharp. She was no longer skin and bones and it was almost as she had an overnight transformation though they changes had progressed painstakingly slowly so there was no noticing. As Caitlyn opened her eyes Bridget could see the familiar smile, her mother was no longer as tired as she had seemed over all these days.
Her eyes fluttered open and then closed again, a serene smile gracing her lovely face. She was perfectly still and for a second Bridget held her breath. But no machines went off and Caitlyn breathed a small sigh, turning on her side. Ana came over and looked on at the woman with great relief.
"Finally, she has some real sleep. You do know that she hasn't had any natural sleep in all the time that she has been sick," she said more as a statement instead of a question as she turned to look at Bridget. "Well my dear, I do believe that your mother here is going to pull through. Let her sleep and I am going to track down Remus. He got a bit restless last night, he did."
Bridget sat back down on her chair with a soft sigh and almost giddy smile. Well that was one less person that she was going to lose. As she sat down she could feel the sharp edge of a book under her and she pulled it out from under her coat. She looked it over and opened the back cover. A dried and crumbling white lily came out of the book and a little note taped inside the cover read:
You will know when the time comes.
Just the night before Caitlyn had thrown the book into Bridget's hands telling her to give it to Harry. The time had come; she said she knew it. Last night had been the only time when Caitlyn was sure that she was going to die. She raved on and on about how she was going to see her best friend, Lily Potter, once again and all would be forgiven. It could all be passed of as the ramblings of a raving lunatic but Ana and Remus seemed especially interested in what Caitlyn had to say and she was too. From what Bridget knew Caitlyn hadn't talked about Lily at all after her death; not for Bridget's whole life.
As much as she wanted to read the little nook, most likely a journal of some sort, she knew that she shouldn't. Her mother had asked her to give it to Harry; it was apparently rightfully his in the fact that it was, after all, his mother's.
Up until this point Bridget had no hope of her mother living but looking at her now she felt as if she was witnessing a miracle. Maybe it was the fact that she finally admitted that she was going to die that saved her. Her mother had had many a run in with fate and maybe fate enjoyed playing tricks on her. There was no doubt in Bridget's mind that Caitlyn was going to feel foolish that she actually believed that she was going to die.
Bridget rested her hand on her mother's and was shocked into happiness when she felt it was warm instead of ice cold as she had expected. Clutching Caitlyn's hand in her own she thought hard. Trying to send a mental message was hard. Caitlyn and Bridget had been working to perfect it since Bridget was a young girl. I didn't help of course that her powers had withered to a barely imaginable level.
"Mom…I love you," she thought, her mental voce echoing weakly in her head.
She could feel more than see her mother smile and then fall back into a peaceful rest. Sitting there for a moment, lost in her own world, she was startled as the door banged against the metal radiator and she practically jumped in her seat. Realizing that it was just her father and Ana she quickly got up and relinquished her chair to Remus.
Watching the interaction between her mother and father she knew that no matter what they really loved each other. Bridget knew that Caitlyn feared for her relationship but she felt that worrying about that was foolish because there was no possible way for it to fall apart. She wished that her relationship with Harry was like that. But to no ends, she decided, would she think about that until she got home.
She stood in the little room while Remus watched her mother sleep but realizing that she hadn't eaten in days she decided to go get some food in the cafeteria.
"Oh Bridge, dear, wait for me," Ana exclaimed, trying to keep up with her. "I, myself, have found that food has been eluding me in that last few days. I can now eat without feeling that I won't be able to keep it down."
Bridget winced. "Really Aunt Ana I didn't need that mental image."
"Well, my sweet, I believe that that is at least better than some of the other things that I can come up with. Would you like to hear? Oh and please don't call me aunt. It makes me sound old and kind of stuffy."
Bridget smiled for the first time in a while, rolling her eyes. "You got that from my mother. Really you need to come up with your own stuff."
"But it is brilliant you have to admit, you can't expect any less from your mother of course." Flashing a brilliant smile, Ana pushed open the door of the cafeteria and chose to ignore Bridget shaking her head. As they ate their breakfast Ana and Bridget talked.
"Even though your mother was basically on the edge of death last night it was good to hear her talk about Lily again," Ana remarked between bites. "I wish you could have known her. She was a wonderful woman, she really was. I heard what is happening," Ana suddenly said, abruptly changing the subject. "I figured most of it out by myself but your mother filled me in on the blanks. Lily would have told you not to mourn losing Harry and go on, meet someone new; have some fun. Though I know that if this ever happened to her…" She shook her head. "But that doesn't help now does it? I think that you should live your life. You are way too young to have to constantly worry about that. But I am not the one to be talking to. You should have to figure this out by yourself. Not that I want you have to dwell over this constantly but whatever you do is what you want." She stabbed at her salad with her fork and stuffed it into her mouth, her little speech ended. Throughout the whole thing she hardly let Bridge get in a word which was good anyway since she wouldn't have known what to say.
"Well Ana," Bridget said slowly, remembering not to refer to her as `aunt', "Now that mother is getting better I believe that it is high time for me to be going on home. I miss everything dreadfully and I would like to see Kate; I need to talk to Harry too."
"But of course. I should have expected that. I won't keep you here and she will be better and home in no time. I recommend you go tell your mother goodbye. I don't think she would forgive you if you didn't. I'll be here finishing my meal. I think I need a little time before I go see Caitlyn again and on the mend, thinking about it I am not sure she will ever forgive me for letting her go that far." She pursed her lips and looked to be deep in thought. Then she smiled and said in a more cheerful voice, "Have fun dear!"
Bridget, of course, knew that fun was definitely not what awaited her at home but then again it was as close as a woman could get.
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