Times They Are A-Changing…
Sunday flew by for Ginny. She woke up the next morning feeling rested and on the verge of almost normal. She was anxious to get back to Hogwarts, talk to her Quidditch team, visit with Susan and Maggie and just get back to her daily routine of life.
After a bowl of cereal for breakfast and finishing her homework, and after promising Draco she would be fine and would
abide by Dumbledore's wishes of not being alone on rounds, she and Draco floo'd into Hogwarts-Ginny to her
common room and Draco to his office.
Ginny had a private talk with Susan and Maggie, telling them what the consequences of Nott's actions were and spent ten minutes trying to convince them that she was angry but fine. John had stopped by her table at dinner and asked her to accompany him on rounds that night and she accepted, knowing he wanted to make sure she was doing ok.
The next two weeks went by so fast that Ginny didn't really have time to dwell on what happened. She was asked by her Quidditch team if she was feeling better, having been told that she was sick, and she said indeed she was and then yelled at them to keep practicing.
John had guessed that she and Draco were still together and had confronted her about it on the rounds they shared her first night back. She admitted it to him, not being able to explain the anger she knew John saw in Draco and the way he said her first name the night of the attack. John swore to keep it a secret and wished her the best of luck in having it work out. He said he never would have guessed if he hadn't been involved in apprehending Nott that night.
Potions went on as usual. She didn't notice any change in the way Draco treated her, although during an exam she
was staring out the window, trying to remember the ingredients for a particular potion when she felt him looking at
her. She remembered meeting his gaze and she gave him a small smile, and he gave her a very small smile in return as
she turned back towards her parchment like all her other fellow students.
The following two Monday's after she got back to school, she had walked into her room after her last class to find him standing in her room, asking how her day had gone…generally just checking up on her. She hadn't gone back to his flat as the Quidditch matches had started and after the Ravenclaw vs. Hufflepuff one on Halloween Day, she floo'd to Samantha's new flat to get fitted for her third bridesmaids dress…a pure Muggle dress which she was actually looking forward to trying on.
November dawned cold and wet and Ginny was sitting in the Great Hall at lunch on Sunday when she felt John come up and squeeze himself between her and Susan. Susan yelped in surprise and scooted over, having had more then a friendly interest in him for the past two months so she blushed furiously as he sat between them.
"I just heard some news that I thought I would share with you," he looked first at Ginny, then let his blue eyes fall on Maggie across from them, Colin and then turned to look at Susan, who smiled shyly at him.
"What?" Maggie asked grumpily, having lived through her third day of being "broken up" with Blaise…who had decided to date someone at the ministry.
"Well, apparently someone saw a Death Eater near the Isle of Drear and heard that they might be trying to reform, chose a new leader and such," John said quietly.
There was silence around the table and Ginny stopped, her fork half way up to her mouth and Colin made a little squeaking noise.
"Where did you hear this?" Colin asked his voice shaking a bit.
"My father was telling my mother…he works in the Auror Department; I was home for a wedding yesterday and heard them talking when they thought I was outside," he reached over to the plate in front of him and picked up a cookie and started munching away.
"I think it's just a rumor, but since I know most of you aren't full blooded, I wanted to let you know."
"Your family isn't are they?" Susan asked and John shook his head.
"Well, we can't get too worked up over a rumor can we?" Ginny asked putting her fork down, her brain whirling anyway around what John had just said; she thought of Draco and how this would affect him IF the rumor was true.
"I need to go finish my Transfiguration essay for tomorrow. Let me know if you hear anything else," Ginny said to John and noticed that he stayed and talked to Susan a bit as she walked away.
Ginny walked past the hospital wing, running her finger along her lip as she thought of what John said, knowing it was just a rumor, but yet feeling that it was about time for something dark to happen. They had been too happy and things had been to quiet for long. She decided she would visit Hermione and Harry and see if they had heard anything, so she double checked the schedule making sure she didn't have rounds that night and floo'd over to Hermione's flat.
"Hey, Ginny, what brings you here?" Hermione was lying on the sofa, a book about Healing Through the Ages on her stomach. Harry looked up from his paperwork he was doing in his office and waved to her.
"Well," Ginny sat down on the sofa next to Hermione, who sat up and placed her book on the coffee table, "I heard a disturbing rumor today," she said in a low voice.
"What?" Hermione asked just as quietly. Harry had on the Wizarding Wireless in his office, so the girls knew he couldn't hear them.
Ginny repeated what she had heard from John and watched Hermione carefully for any reaction. All she did was sigh and run a hand through her hair.
"I wouldn't worry about it unless it's confirmed-," Hermione started.
"I know, but it just got me thinking that we have had such a quiet world so far…for too long, something is bound to happen," Ginny interrupted, sitting back and propping her feet up on the table along with Hermione. Hermione absentmindedly rubbed her hand in circles on her belly, now just beginning to bulge but not visible while she was clothed.
"That thought has crossed my mind too, but I would try not to worry about it. I think Dumbledore would tell you, or at least the Order, if anything big was going to happen. Harry hasn't heard anything and you know Remus would get into contact if he did hear anything."
Ginny nodded, feeling a bit better and Hermione changed the subject asking how she and Draco were doing. Ginny shrugged.
"When I came back after the whole Nott problem," Ginny wrinkled her nose and gave a small shudder, "I've seen him a few times. He stopped by my room a few Monday's in between his classes and I saw him when I got back from Samantha's…he was at the Halloween Dance and we talked a bit in the hall, but other than that it's hard to find time to do much of anything. Though," Ginny held up her ring, "You gotta love this ring. It's still charmed to become warm when he wants me to know he is thinking of me."
"Oh, and when does that usually happen?" Hermione asked, getting up and offering Ginny some juice. She shook her head "no".
"Usually at night or in the evening, after classes. Hmmm," Ginny said, feeling the warmth of her ring. "I wonder if he's home?"
Hermione sat back down with a glass of juice.
"I heard him playing the piano earlier," she took a sip.
"I haven't heard him since he lost that bet to Ron," Ginny mused.
"He's very good; I could barely hear it, and I think I fell asleep while he was playing," Hermione admitted.
"Well, I'll go over and visit for a bit; then I do have to get back and finish my Transfiguration," Ginny went over and chatted with Harry for a bit then bid Hermione goodbye and patted her stomach. She walked all ten steps to Draco's door and knocked lightly.
When he yanked open the door he looked genuinely surprised to see her.
"Everything ok?" he asked right off the bat, stepping aside for her to walk into his flat. She walked in and nodded.
"I was chatting with Hermione, seeing how she was feeling and since you are right next door, I thought I would stop by," she smiled up at him as he shut the door behind her.
"Funny you should; I was just thinking about you," Draco wrapped his arms around her from behind and she reached up to touch his arms.
"How are you doing?" he whispered in her ear and she felt a shiver go up her neck as he said that, and felt him take a step closer to her, pressing up against her.
"I'm doing fine. I can walk by the dungeons now with out feeling ill," Ginny admitted jumping slightly as his lips touched her neck. She now understood exactly what he was thinking about and she turned around in his embrace, letting him now just how much she wanted him at that moment.
Somehow with only running into a wall and a table they made it back to the bedroom where she pulled him down with her, hands tugging at his shirt, while his worked her jeans. They were a tangle of limbs as they removed their clothing faster than they ever had before.
She loved when they both threw all their control out the window; one second she would be doing what she wanted to him and the next she was on her back as he kissed the inside of her thigh. Grabbing the sheets by her hips she gasped as his tongue flitted over her and down the other side of her thigh. She turned her head from side to side feeling the burning pushing and pulling inside her and finally called for him to stop. He looked up at her and crawled over her, kissing her in his favorite spot. She reached up and placed a hand on the back of his head, pressing his lips into her neck. Her arm wrapped around his wide muscular shoulders and she pushed her hips towards him, not needing to say anything. As his lips left her breathless on their way to her mouth she felt his hand skim over her stomach and settle on her hip. Then with one swift move he was in her and she felt him kiss her harder than usual. She wrapped herself around him, feeling like she was splitting two, her mind splicing the pleasurable feelings into sounds she made against his mouth, which encouraged him to rise above her. Looking up into his eyes she felt herself falling into his mind, crying out his name while throwing back her head as she felt herself come quickly and with an intensity that reminded her of just how long it had been for both of them.
She held him as their breathing returned back to normal and her mind came back into focus.
"Oh, my God," Ginny whispered as Draco moved off of her and had the sheet come up over them and settle lightly about their shoulders. "What was that about?"
"About it being a month since we were last alone I would reckon," Draco murmured into her shoulder as he kissed it lightly.
"I think I used up all my energy and I could really use a nap," Ginny turned towards him and saw him search her face. She immediately closed down her mind, not wanting him to see her concern about the Death Eater rumor.
"What's wrong?" he asked his blue eyes narrowing.
"Nothing," she lied, hating to do it.
"Liar." He called her on it.
She shrugged and reached up, touching his face.
"I just don't want to talk about it now, ok? Later?" she compromised and saw him nod. He gathered her to him and she nestled into his shoulder.
"Don't let me sleep too long," she said yawning.
"Right, like I am going to wake you up; you aren't the most pleasant witch when you are awoken suddenly," Draco said dryly, feeling her breath against his neck.
"I still have homework to do and this wasn't it," Ginny said.
"I'll give you an O," and he kissed the top of her head.
"Thanks, but McGonagall won't take this as a substitute for Transfiguration…sorry!" and with that Ginny nestled under the covers feeling the warmth of his skin against hers and with in a few minutes was asleep.
Ginny nestled against Draco's shoulder listening to him read something from The Daily Prophet that she knew to be good news. The living room was dark except for a single light on the table next to them, illuminating the paper he held. She held a pillow against her stomach and was playing with the fringes when she caught movement in the hall to the bedroom. Looking up was that same little girl, same night gown coming towards her, crying. Ginny untangled herself from Draco's arms and reached out to her. She was surprised when she felt the little body hurl itself into her arms, sobbing into her chest. She rubbed the little girls back and felt Draco stand up and go to the kitchen, coming back with a cup of milk…handing it to Ginny who reached out for it, only to find she was grabbing nothing…"
Ginny started awake and heard Draco say something.
"What?" Ginny asked confused as she pulled away from his shoulder and moved her head around the room.
"What's wrong? You just jumped about three feet into the air," Draco said sleepily, having been napping himself in the cozy large bed.
"I had that dream again," Ginny murmured and flopped onto her back, tucking the sheet in above her breasts.
"The one with that kid?"
"Yea, except this time she came running at me, crying, into the living room. You brought me a cup of milk…for her I guess…then I woke up," Ginny explained, rubbing her eyes. "What is it with her?"
"Don't know," Draco said flippantly glancing at the clock. "It's almost dinner time…do you think you should be heading back?"
Ginny sighed and watched his fine form get up and walk into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. She grabbed her clothes and walked across the hall to the bathroom, washing up and getting dressed, still thinking about the dream in the back of her mind.
Placing the towel back onto the rack she rested her hands on the sink and stared at herself in the mirror. Her hazel eyes stared back at her, worry in them and she knew if she saw it, Draco did and probably would keep asking her what was wrong until she told him. She let her eyes roam over her freshly brushed hair that was now down to the middle of her back, her face that so much resembled Ron's down to the freckles spread across her nose and she wondered what Draco saw in HER. She knew what she saw in him; she had seen it the moment he was telling Pansy to back off of him back during her 6th year.
She saw someone set in his ways, someone who liked a challenge, who liked being an authority figure; she also saw someone who was aching to be loved and accepted but would never admit it; someone who was hurt emotionally and physically as a child and had never quite recovered, thus acting like he did until that instigator was no longer in his life; she saw the need to protect those he loved and she knew she and his mother were one of the very few, if there were any others, that he felt that way about. But, why did he feel this towards her?
Rubbing her hands over her face she left the bathroom and met Draco in the kitchen, accepting his offer of coffee saying she would have to get back afterwards.
She studied him as she sat at the table and he caught her looking at him and didn't say anything. She let her gaze meet his and rest there not quite believing that this time about a year ago they shared their first kiss. And who would have guessed it would lead to her visiting and being with him in his own flat…her Potions Professor. He leaned back casually against the counter, carefully drinking his hot coffee and observed her as she slid her gaze away from him and out the window, where it was starting to snow.
"It's snowing," she said softly and Draco followed her gaze out the window, sensing emotions welling in Ginny but not addressing them until she needed him too.
"A great time of year," Draco said in a rare moment of complete, vulnerable honesty and Ginny looked at him.
"Why is it so great?" she never thought to ask him what his favorite season was; it never seemed important. He met her gaze and without hesitating he answered her.
"Because I worked up the nerve to kiss you," he responded and saw Ginny's eyes go wide.
"Why did you do that anyway? Not that I minded of course…," she added hastily.
Draco kept his gaze level with hers as he answered her, hoping to dispel some of the conflict that he knew was shifting around inside of her about life in general.
"I wanted to," he said simply and she smiled at him, then looked down a bit embarrassed.
"Me too, so I'm glad you did."
They sipped their coffee in silence for awhile and Ginny propped her hand under her chin and watched the snow fall past the window.
"What are you doing for Christmas?" she asked suddenly, breaking the quiet.
"Not quite sure; it'll probably be just me and my mother this year. How about you?"
"The Burrow again, although this year Bill is going to Fleur's and Charlie and Katharine are splitting the day between the two families, as will Ron I guess," realizing that he would be married six days after Christmas.
"What would you like for Christmas?" Draco asked, pulling out a chair flipping it around and sitting with his chest against the back of it, placing his coffee on the table.
Ginny looked at him in surprise, "I have no idea; I don't usually ask for anything," she explained,
having learned from an early age that she couldn't get everything she wanted and she learned to treasure the rare
gifts she did receive.
"There has to be something that you desire," he said watching her carefully as she maintained her passive expression, learning from him that sometimes you need to appear unaffected by a question so people don't really know what you are thinking at that moment. Ginny wondered what she did truly desire.
"I have no idea," she said softly then asked the question back to him and to her surprise he reached across and covered his hand with hers.
"You haven't figured it out yet?" he said in a low voice that was so unlike him Ginny stared at him, speechless and gave her head a slight shake.
"I have different desires, but the foremost one is you…don't you realize that?"
Ginny felt her heart thudding deeply and stared at him, her hand still under his and the other tight around her
mug.
"From the moment I kissed you I felt something for someone I have never felt before and it took me awhile to realize it was desire. A desire to make you happy, to try and show you that I care, to keep you SAFE," he said quietly and at that moment Ginny knew he had heard about the Death Eaters and knew she was worried about them.
"On another level, there is the desire to stay out of my father's shadow, to find a path that leads to something that I want for myself, to try and keep my mother happy and secure. Then there is the desire to see my family move on in the future. I am the only male Malfoy left and the desire to produce an heir has always been a huge weight on my shoulders. But, now, I want more than just someone like me, like who my father tried to make me, to move through the next generation. I want to try and do right by my child and teach them that following the Dark Side is not the way to make peace with yourself or others," Draco removed his hand from hers and wrapped it around his mug seeing her stare at him like a deer caught in headlights.
"I don't know what to say to that, Draco," she whispered a lump in her throat as she realized the struggle he was going through trying to come into his own.
"You don't have to say anything; I just wanted you to know and now seemed to be the time to tell you," he looked down at his coffee, suddenly not sure that he did the right thing.
"You know the rumor don't you?" Ginny asked, staring at his mahogany table and he nodded.
"I know you think the same thing I do; it has been quiet for too long," Draco continued, "and you need to know that I will never fall back to my father's side…EVER," he said sharply and this time Ginny nodded.
"I know you wouldn't; I don't doubt that at all."
"If anything develops over the next few months, I know that you will be in the know, with the Order, but promise me you won't question anything that I do or say if it comes to the point that I need to go out there-."
"Don't say that; we don't know-," Ginny started trying to stop the truth from coming out of his mouth.
"It's true, you know that, Ginny. You know I don't say anything I don't mean."
"What I desire is for this fucking war to be OVER; to not lose anyone else that I care about, that's what I desire," Ginny stood up and placed her mug into the sink with such force it shattered, cutting her hand.
Draco leapt up, fixed her hand and repaired the cup all within the course of a few seconds then grabbed her, feeling her shake in anger. He rubbed her back.
"I didn't want to upset you, really Ginny," Draco sighed mentally kicking himself.
"It wasn't you; honestly, what you said totally threw me because we never have deep conversations like that and I feel stupid for not even attempting to think of any "desires" I might have," Ginny mumbled against his chest, hugging him tightly.
"I have had longer to think about them, that's all."
"I am really glad you told me. I always like learning something new about you; the whole Death Eater thing has me rattled, that's all."
"I know; but let's just take it a day at a time, ok?" Draco kissed the top of her head and laid his cheek against her hair.
"Yeah, ok. One day at a time… but tell me if you hear anything more. Please?"
"I will," he promised. He took a deep breath and let it out.
"I love you," he whispered in her ear and she turned her face up to his and kissed him solidly, then pulled away.
"I love you and don't ever doubt that," she said fiercely and he nodded at her, finally releasing her so she could get back to school. He touched her hand before she stepped into his fireplace and smiled at him.
"You've given me something to think about, Malfoy. I'll let you know when I come up with an answer about what I desire," she squeezed his hand and with a "pop" returned to her school.