Disclaimer: See Part 1
Author's Note: This is proof that I am no longer capable of writing Ginny seriously without snark. Featuring mature!Ron and H/Hr fluff.
Part 2 of 3.
Settled With a Hug
Part 2: The Girl He Loves
It was going to be a good Christmas after all.
Ginny smiled to herself as she finished brushing out her hair until it positively shone under the lights. She wished they could be at the Burrow or somewhere nice but the Order had decided that for safety reasons, they should spend Christmas at Grimmauld Place instead since it was unplottable and, for the purposes of this Christmas would be put under the Fidelius Charm again, with Professor McGonagall as the Secret Keeper. But at least they would all be there. Bill and Fleur, Charlie, her mum and Dad, Fred and George. Remus and Tonks would be joining them as would Professor McGonagall for at least Christmas Day itself.
But, best and most important of all in Ginny's view, Harry would be coming too.
Harry coming was the real reason the Order had gone to such lengths to ensure the safety of Grimmauld Place, when they had decided practically at the last minute that Harry, Ron and Hermione deserved to have a real Christmas.
She put on the flowery perfume she knew Harry liked, smiled at her reflection one last time as her mirror remarked approvingly, "Very pretty, dear," and then left to hurry downstairs.
Remus and Tonks had gone to escort Harry, Ron and Hermione and bring them safely to Grimmauld Place-they'd be Apparating separately, just in case, with Harry and Remus coming first and then Ron, Hermione and Tonks arriving a few minutes later.
And then the door opened and Remus and Harry, followed by Hermione, Ron and then Tonks, stepped inside.
"Oh Harry!"
Ginny ran to hug him and then stood on tiptoes to kiss him-but Harry turned his head so her lips, instead of touching his mouth, brushed his cheek instead.
And the action shocked her into realizing that Harry hadn't hugged her back. His arms were still by his side and he was standing rather stiffly, awkwardly. Almost as if-almost as if he didn't want her to be hugging him like this… but that was impossible…
He must just feel strange about hugging and kissing her in front of Ron and Hermione and her parents-never mind that last year he'd kissed her in front of the entire common room and hadn't seemed to mind then. Besides, it wasn't as if Ron and Hermione hadn't seen them kissing before.
She felt a frown coming on but dismissed it and drew back to smile at him instead, keeping her arms loosely around him. "It's so good to see you, Harry! I've missed you!"
"Hello, Ginny," he finally said and smiled, also stiffly.
She stared. She was seeing him for the first time since Bill and Fleur's wedding nearly 6 months ago and all he could say was hello?
She decided against talking to him about it now though and managed another bright smile as she let go of him and moved to hug Ron, now that her mum had released him.
Mrs. Weasley was crying while Mr. Weasley patted her back comfortingly as she gave Harry a motherly hug.
Mr. Weasley shook Harry's hand and clapped him on the shoulder, smiling.
The rather awkward moment of Ginny's single-minded greeting of Harry passed and all the Weasleys took turns welcoming Harry while Fleur kissed both Ron and Harry on the cheek and even smiled brightly at Hermione.
Mrs. Weasley was back to herself and was urging the new arrivals to take off their cloaks and scarves and come inside the kitchen where she would get some tea and hot chocolate.
Ginny forced herself to smile and act natural for the next few hours as they all talked-or at least, everyone except for Harry talked. Harry smiled and even laughed with the others but he didn't say much as he sat next to Ron and Hermione-and she could almost have sworn, too, that he was avoiding looking at her. But why? That was what she couldn't figure out.
He loved her-he must. And she cared about him and had been waiting for him and now they were finally together again even if it was only for a week or so and why wouldn't he look at her, smile at her, give her some sign that he was glad to see her?
Harry's yawning was the sign that marked the beginning of the end of the evening.
Mrs. Weasley leaped up from her chair. "Oh, Harry dear, I'm so sorry. You must be tired after everything you've gone through these past few months and here we are just talking away while you must be longing to get some sleep. Harry, you and Ron will be staying in your old bedroom. Hermione, you don't mind sharing again with Ginny, do you?"
She hardly paused for Hermione's quick smile and shake of her head, before she was practically pushing Harry, Ron and Hermione out of the room, fussing over them as if they were incapable of doing anything without her help.
Ginny followed them out of the room, hoping that maybe now, Harry would look at her again or say something to her-but he didn't.
He only followed Mrs. Weasley upstairs and when she would have hugged him goodnight, he stepped back into his room with only a quiet, "Goodnight, Ginny" and she was left to stare at his closing door. "Sleep well, Harry," she finally managed to say and he paused in closing the door, glancing at her and then, oddly she thought, at Hermione, before he said again, "Goodnight." And she was left with the strange feeling that he hadn't really been speaking to her at all when he said 'Goodnight', that he'd said it more for Hermione than her… But that was ridiculous, of course…
He was only tired.
He'd be himself again in the morning after he'd had some sleep and she would talk to him then.
She was sure of it. She would talk to him in the morning and everything would be cleared up.
~*~
Ginny looked up with her brightest smile when Harry, Ron and Hermione walked into the dining room the next morning. "Good morning," she greeted them cheerfully-and then she saw it.
Harry and Hermione were holding hands.
Her smile abruptly faded and even as she stared at their joined hands, Hermione made to slip her hand out of Harry's but Harry tightened his grip.
"What's going on?" Ginny asked, her voice rising. "Harry, why are you holding Hermione's hand? Ron, why are you letting Hermione hold Harry's hand like that? What's going on?!" She winced inwardly at hearing how shrill her voice had gotten and made a mental note to moderate it next time she spoke.
Ron looked uncomfortable but then spoke up, "Hermione holding Harry's hand has nothing to do with me."
Ginny gaped at her brother as if he'd just announced a plan to run off with Draco Malfoy. "But- but- you-" she stuttered.
Ron took pity on his sister. "Hermione and I are just friends and we've been just friends for months now."
Ginny turned to Harry who looked resigned-and who had still not let go of Hermione's hand. "But you're going out with me!" she blurted out.
Harry sighed. "No, Ginny, I'm not. We broke up, remember?" His tone and expression were gentle. "I'm sorry, Ginny. I- it was- nice- those weeks with you; it was like a dream of another life-but it wasn't-it wasn't real…"
"Of course it was real!" Her voice rose again in protest. "You love me!"
Harry kept his tone gentle. "No, Ginny, I don't. I- I liked you, still like you-but not in that way. I- Ginny, we're still friends."
Ginny glared through welling tears at Harry and Hermione's still-joined hands. "And what about all that rubbish you told me about breaking up with me because it would make me a target? Or was that just an excuse to break up with me so you could go and snog her since you obviously don't care about her becoming a target?" she lashed out at him, some part of her aware that she was being unfair but she didn't care. She didn't care if she hurt him; she wanted to hurt him, wanted to get back at him…
He flinched at her words, torment flickering across his expression. "No! I meant it; I still do, about not wanting you to be a target. And if you think I don't hate the idea of Hermione in danger or think that it doesn't haunt me every minute of every day, you're wrong! But- but, Ginny, that's the difference…" he said, his voice becoming soft, almost as if he were speaking more to himself than to her. "I- I didn't like breaking up with you but I did it because I knew I had to. But this… me and Hermione- I couldn't. I tried-I tried so hard to make myself stop caring-tried to keep this from happening because I knew it would make Hermione more of a target than she already is and if anything happened to her, I-I don't know what I would do… But I can't! I- I couldn't stop this from happening and I can't-I can't-push her away from me. I know I should; I've told myself I should and I fight with myself every day-but always, it comes down to this. I can't do what I need to do without her; I need her." His voice had grown steadily softer, despite all the pent-up emotion and tension in his tone, until Ginny could barely hear his last words. And despite the fact that he was still ostensibly addressing her, he seemed almost to have forgotten that she was there. He was talking to himself, convincing himself-and talking to Hermione.
And she could only stare at him as each of his words seemed to pound at her consciousness with what he didn't say in so many words. The difference was that he needed Hermione-he didn't need her. He cared more about Hermione than he had for her-and in some odd way, that was why his reasoning about not endangering anyone else didn't work.
He needed Hermione; he didn't need her…
She thought numbly that she should have guessed that Harry didn't care about her that way anymore after he hadn't returned her hug. She should have known from the hug he hadn't given her, the hug he'd avoided.
And now she had just made herself look like an idiot. She wasn't Harry Potter's girlfriend-or the girl he had nobly given up because he cared too much about her to see her in danger. She was the girl he had stopped caring about, the girl he didn't care enough about…
This wasn't supposed to happen! Her mind screamed at the injustice, the unfairness of it all.
Hermione! What was Hermione that Harry needed her?
And even as she thought it, she knew what it was.
"Of course you need her, Harry. She's always been the one to help you with spells and things because she's so smart and the book-worm." She spoke reasonably, trying desperately to convince him-and herself-that he was mistaking his feelings. "But that doesn't mean you love her- like that. You can't love her like that! She's not- she's not the sort of girl you love like that!"
It was Hermione's turn to flinch and for the first time, any trace of pity, of sympathy, left Harry's expression as he stared at her.
"You're wrong," he said flatly, coldly, the beginning of anger in his tone. "If I'd only needed her for her cleverness, I could have pushed her away a long time ago. She's more than that; she's always been more than that. She's exactly the sort of girl anyone could and would love-and she is the girl I love."
Ginny stared. She'd never heard Harry speak with so much suppressed passion, never seen his face flushed with so much emotion-and it all combined to convince her that this was real. He meant it and nothing she said could do anything. It was over, for good, between her and Harry.
Ginny looked from Hermione to Harry, knowing that it was over but her mind, her heart, everything in her rebelling, unable to accept the reality before her.
Things like this weren't supposed to happen! Not to her. She was the one who ended relationships, not the girl who wasn't wanted. Not her-never her. She was too pretty, too popular, for this to happen to her… She wasn't-should never be-the one to be rejected.
But she was being rejected-for Hermione. Hermione, of all girls! Hermione who wasn't pretty or particularly popular or funny or anything! This was just wrong! What could Harry possibly see in Hermione?
"But- but what about me?" she asked, letting Harry see the tears in her eyes and injecting as much pitiful bewilderment into her voice as possible.
Harry sighed and finally let go of Hermione's hand, coming closer to stand in front of Ginny. Ginny felt a surge of hope. Now things were going more the way they should…
"Ginny," Harry began softly, and Ginny moved to stand close enough so she knew he could smell her perfume that she knew he liked. "This isn't about you. It's not. It- it's Hermione and that I can't, no matter how much I try, make myself stop caring or push her away. I just need Hermione too much. It's not you." Harry finished abruptly, stepping back.
Ginny stared at him, her head slowly shaking in denial and suddenly she couldn't stand to be in the same room as them and ran to the door.
Hermione stopped her with a hand on her arm. "Ginny, I-" she began, her voice full of sympathy but Ginny shook her arm free, glaring through tears at Hermione-the girl who'd taken what she, Ginny, wanted and was entitled to. "Don't! I don't want your sympathy! He was mine-and you took him!"
She brushed roughly past Hermione and ran up the stairs.
Ron, who had been standing awkwardly as if he were always on the verge of fleeing the uncomfortable scene, hesitated, glanced between Harry and Hermione and then followed his sister.
Leaving Harry and Hermione alone.
Harry sighed heavily, running a hand roughly through his hair making it stand up even more wildly than usual.
He finally turned to meet Hermione's gaze. "I'm sorry you had to see that. I didn't-I didn't think-"
"You didn't think Ginny would still care that much?" Hermione asked gently.
"Yes-no-I guess-I don't know," Harry responded in some frustration. "I just- I just didn't think about her much."
A slight, fleeting smile crossed Hermione's lips as she moved closer to Harry. "You mean you just didn't really think," she corrected, her tone gently knowing.
A ruefully self-deprecating little smile lightened Harry's expression but he didn't say anything and there was a moment of silence.
Hermione broke it by asking quietly, "Did you really mean all that?"
"All what?"
"About needing me so much, about wishing you could push me away-about- about loving me." The last words were spoken so softly Harry barely heard them as Hermione's gaze fell so she wasn't looking at his face anymore.
Harry blinked. "Yes," he said bluntly before continuing, disbelief coloring his tone. "How can you doubt that? Did you think I would have broken up with Ginny because I cared too much to make her a target but that I cared less about you-cared less about you being in danger?"
"I- I don't know." Hermione's gaze faltered before the reproach in Harry's tone and his eyes.
Harry moved to grip both her arms firmly but not enough to hurt her. "Hermione, I meant it, every word of it. The thought of you in danger terrifies me-haunts me-and there are times I wish I didn't care so much, wish I was strong enough to push you away. But I know I'm not."
She finally met his eyes. "You never said anything," she began.
"It didn't seem-I don't know. It was my worry, my argument with myself that I lost every time. It didn't seem-it was never going to happen so I- it didn't seem important to mention." He ended rather lamely.
Hermione stepped closer to him, close enough to feel the heat from his body. "I wish I'd known. I didn't know-I meant that much. You never said--"
She broke off when he lifted a hand to touch her cheek gently. "I love you." He smiled slightly. "I never said I love you."
She smiled. "I love you too."
He sucked in his breath and a fleeting frown crossed her face. "Didn't you know that I loved you? Hasn't it been obvious that I did with everything I've done?"
"Not- not to me. I- I didn't think-don't know why you would…"
Hermione's expression softened at this admission, one which she knew he'd never have made to anyone else and would probably not have made even to her if he hadn't been in an uncharacteristically open and vulnerable state after Ginny's reaction to seeing their joined hands and his automatic response that had inadvertently revealed so much.
"Well, I do. I love you, Harry-and I'll never leave you."
She moved to seal her promise with a kiss but he stopped her, for the first time, hesitating.
"Hermione, I- it's dangerous," he finally said. "I'm dangerous to be around."
She smiled slightly. "I know but you know what, Harry? That doesn't matter that much to me. Even if I didn't love you the way I do, even if I was still only your friend, I'd still be here. At the risk of sounding clichéd, I'd rather be in danger with you than safe anywhere else."
He managed the smallest of smiles. "I need you, you know," he blurted out.
"I need you too."
He tightened his arms around her and finally, kissed her.
They had kissed before of course but somehow, this kiss was different. Before, the kisses had been tentative, neither of them quite sure of themselves or the shift in their relationship. Now, there was no uncertainty about the other's feelings or about their relationship. Any and all doubts had been settled thanks to Harry's response to Ginny's reaction on seeing their joined hands.
There was no doubt anymore.
So he kissed her-and for that moment, he allowed himself to relax, to stop worrying over the danger their relationship put her in, and allowed himself to enjoy this: having Hermione in his arms, kissing Hermione, just loving Hermione and knowing she loved him too…