A/N - ah, just like the old days with nearly back-to-back updates. I hope you like this chapter, it was so easy to write. I guess cause its full of emotion…
Thanks again for the reviews, many of the familiar names once again! You guys rock!!
Chapter 4 - Family
Hermione was right, of course, and they had passed the church yard on the way to the estate. The small group was silent as they made their way back down the lane to town, following Martin when he left the road and headed for the small, stone steepled church that sat amongst a reasonably large graveyard.
Martin led them past the church's entrance and went instead to the rear where there was a large mausoleum with the name 'Potter' carved in large letters over the wrought iron gate. Harry hadn't expected this, he thought it would be two grave stones and some old, dried flowers to clean out. Instead he walked into a large, cool cavern where the graves of the various Potters who, over the last five hundred years, had lived and died in this town were now resting.
Their guide continued past those housed in the mausoleum's walls, and exited through a small door in the back, which led into an area that boarded a small wood that lay behind the church. There were more graves, but slightly less grand than those previous. Martin carried on until he was near the end of one of the rows where he paused and bowed his head in reverence - the others respectfully did the same. Harry realised they had stopped in front of the graves of his grandparents and after a few moments of reflection for Martin, they carried on until Harry stood before his mother and father.
It seemed his heart had ceased beating as he read the inscriptions, aware only slightly of Hermione's soft sobs coming from behind him. He was so lost in thought, when Remus came and stood beside him, he was startled, but watched as the older man laid a hand on top of James's headstone and bowed his head, having a conversation that only the two old friends could hear. Remus then gave a respectful little nod to Lily's grave, a wry smile on his face before turning his watery eyes onto Harry.
"We'll give you some time," he said, "and take as long as you need. We'll be by the church when you are ready." Harry nodded then turned back to the graves, waiting until he heard the squeak of the gate closing before he moved.
He took a couple of steps closer and knelt down on the piece of earth that separated the two head stones - he was glad they hadn't been placed in just one grave. He had always pictured them working side by side, separate people but also enjoying being together as a couple and was glad that this reflected in the way they were buried.
Slowly, he reached out and ran a finger along part of the inscription on his father's tombstone:
Tragically taken October 1981
Harry dropped his head and let the tears he had been holding back all day wrack his body. It felt all he had been doing since Dumbledore died was cry, but he couldn't help it. Even though he knew he had Ron and Hermione, Harry felt abandoned and alone, unsure of what to do next, knowing he no longer had an adult by him to guide him. And it all started here with the murder of his parents.
When his tears had run their course, Harry took off his glasses and (although no-one was watching him) embarrassedly wiped his wet eyes and nose on the edge of his t-shirt, trying to get himself under control.
"I miss you," he whispered, looking from the grave of his father to that of his mother, "I wish you were here, I wish everyone was here. I…I don't know what to do, not really. Dumbledore, he told what I needed to do but…I don't know if I can…"
He paused so he could sit more comfortably, wiping his face once more before putting his glasses back on.
"Lupin keeps telling me you would be proud of me, Dumble…Dumbledore said that too, but I'm not so sure. Sometimes, especially lately, I just hate everyone, you know? It's like they don't really understand what I'm going through, what I've given up…Sometimes I just want to be alone, away from everybody, to not have to speak to anyone but I know I can't…I don't want to do this alone."
Once again Harry paused, and he heard Hermione's voice in his head telling him that what ever happens, they'd get through it together. He smiled.
"Of course, I have Hermione and Ron," he continued quietly, "I don't know why they put up with me though, I'm not very nice to them. And they're giving up a lot as well - Hermione would be head girl this year but…"
Harry looked at his mother's gravestone and re-read what had been carved into the base.
Through knowledge truth, light and love will be found
"I think you and Hermione would've got on really well," he whispered, "she looks out for me, you know?"
He then turned to his father's grave with a wry smile.
"Ron too, but he's up to a bit more rule breaking than Hermione, though I think we've corrupted her over the years," he paused for a moment in thought, "they're good friends, both of them. I can't lose them too, I just can't. But I need them with me, to help me. Especially Hermione - did you know she's the smartest witch of her age? She doesn't know as much as Dumbledore, but she's pretty close."
Harry sat and thought in silence, feeling a calmness he hadn't felt since…well, for a very, very long time. Part of him had hoped that by some miracle the ghosts of his parents would come out of their graves and give him all the answers, tell him what to do and how to do it. He chuckled briefly at the absurdity of that hope but realised that instead of answers, his parents had given him peace. Seeing where his mum and dad had been laid to rest, and that their graves had been cared for over the years when he hadn't been there for them was just that one more step to closure. He now had one last journey to perform on this day of journeys - standing up, he looked down once more at the two graves.
"I dunno when I'll be back," he told them, "it might not be until the war is over and I have no idea how long it's going to take, but you're always in my thoughts. Say hi to Sirius and Professor Dumbledore for me and if you can help me in any way, I would really appreciate it."
With one last glance, Harry turned away and retraced his steps back to the church. Ron and Hermione were standing a bit separate from Remus and Martin, talking quite passionately to each other with their heads close together so they couldn't be overheard. Harry made his way over to where they were, Ron spotting him first and stopped talking which made Hermione turn towards him with her customary concern on her face.
"Hey," she said tentatively.
"Is everything alright?" Harry asked as a reply.
"Isn't that what we should be asking you?" Ron quipped back, trying to smile.
"I'm okay," Harry acknowledged, "just been a rough day…"
"Are you ready to move on?" Remus asked as he and Martin joined them.
"Yeah," Harry replied tiredly, "yeah, I am."
Martin began to walk from the church and back into the lane with Remus by his side, leaving the trio to walk a little bit behind them. They went a bit closer to the village before they turned off onto another narrow country road.
"So, are you guys going to tell me what you were talking about?" Harry asked after a while, looking at Ron.
"Ah, nothing…nothing important," Ron answered, the redness on the tips of his ears telling Harry his friend was lying.
"Right," he said with a smile before turning to Hermione, who was walking quietly at his other side, "so what were you two talking about?"
Hermione looked at him with a look that said she had no intention of telling him what the discussion was about, her eyes still slightly bloodshot for her earlier tears. Harry smiled what he hoped was an endearing smile, determined to know what they were hiding from him - he saw her resolve weaken.
"Oh, all right then," she humphed, "Ron thought that we should live here instead at Grimmauld Place and I was explaining to him that you might not be comfortable with that…"
"…and I said of course you would," Ron interrupted, "and that you'd be barkers to choose that gloomy dump over Dog-wry…"
"Dowrgi, Ron. So I was reminding Ronald that although Grimmauld Place may be slightly abhorred, it was safe and, at the moment, familiar and that the decision was ultimately yours, Harry, and that you had other important things on your mind at the moment…"
"…so we shouldn't bring it up," Ron finished.
Harry was about to reply and let Ron know that unfortunately Hermione was right, he wasn't ready to make Dowrgi his home, but before he could say anything, they had stopped in front of a beautiful little cottage at the end of the driveway.
It was perfect - a modest size, the house was two levels, the lower having two large bay windows on each side of the wooden door in the middle (a stained glass image of a griffin in its centre). Upstairs had three windows facing outwards towards the drive, each window clean and inviting. The house was painted a crisp white, with the eaves and window ledges accented in a deep emerald and the railings of the little covered porch that ran the length of the front of the building was also an emerald. There was a garden that looked well maintained, roses and other flowers in the surrounding beds in full bloom.
Harry fully expected someone to walk out and greet them, the house looked so well looked after and lived in - nothing at all like the ruins he was expecting.
"It looks…whole," Hermione gasped, obviously as surprised as Harry was.
"Well, and I hope this doesn't upset you Mr Potter," Martin began, "James and Lily spent so much time and love building Godric's Hollow, making it their own, that when…when it was attacked we couldn't bare to leave it like it was. So, we rebuilt it and it is included in the maintenance schedule of the main estate. No-one has entered the house since the rebuilding was complete so the interior is the same as it was before the attack. Once a year, at Halloween, we let the villagers come here to pay their respects, but other than that, they are encouraged to forget about this little cottage in the woods."
"This is exactly the same as it was when mum and dad were alive?" Harry tried to confirm, suddenly feeling more anxious than if he was facing derelict rubble.
"Yes."
Harry began to walk towards the small path that led to the house, flower beds boarding the cobblestones. It was all so surreal and suddenly he wasn't sure if he could do this. He stopped, looking at the home of his parents with utter fear, knowing that this was what he wanted, what he needed - to see where he had come from and get a little bit closer to acceptance and closure. But he found that he couldn't take another step.
Aware that he was alone, that the others had given him space so he could deal with whatever he was feeling, he realised that he needed them more than he had ever before. Turning, he saw an anxious Hermione standing next to a nervous Ron, Remus looking at the house with sadness while Martin was watching him with the hope that he hadn't done something wrong.
"I…I don't want to do this by myself," he said, embarrassedly, "I can't…"
Immediately Ron and Hermione were by his side, Hermione sliding her hand comfortingly into his while Ron stood at his side in support. Remus, however, stayed put making Harry look at him with concern.
"I'll be there in a moment Harry," Remus said, his voice hitching slightly, "I…this…this is difficult."
Harry nodded in understanding before turning back to the place where he began his life, and made his way to the door. He stepped inside to a tidy living room with family pictures on the mantle and on the walls, a rocking chair plus a comfy looking couch and two large armchairs placed in a semi-circle around the hearth. Cushions were scattered on the seat built into the bay window and a baby's playpen was standing idle, next to it.
Letting go of Hermione's hand, Harry made a circuit of the room, reading the various titles of the few books that were scattered around, looking at the photos of his parents with various people - pausing at a photo of his mum and dad standing either side of Professor Dumbledore. He got to the small playpen that once was his but now looked so tiny, absently flicking a tiny Pooh Bear that adorned the contraption with his fingers before glancing out of the window to see Remus still standing where they had left him, staring at the house.
Turning from the window, he went through to the formal dinning area that was in the area that occupied the room with the other bay window. Looking like it could be separated from the living room by closing a set of French cadenza type doors, Harry gave it just a quick glance before moving on to the rooms at the back of the house.
The kitchen was homely and warm, another smaller, less formal dinning table sat in the corner and a brilliant view to the tidy back yard filled the windowed back wall. A sandpit and swing stood on the lawn along side deck chairs and table.
But Harry's eye was drawn to the empty fridge and a picture stuck to it by a magnetic Paddington Bear of three sets of hands - a large pair, a more delicate pair and a pair of hands that were so, so tiny. He put his hands over those of his father's and saw an outline could still be seen telling him that he hadn't, as yet, caught up with his dad. Shaking slightly, he removed the piece of paper and took it with him as he made his way up the stairs.
A bathroom and study filled the first two rooms, the study once again full with books. The main bedroom fell at the end of the hall, but Harry found he couldn't look through the room with any more than a brief glance. Ron and Hermione had followed him as he made his journey, not speaking but just supporting him by their presence and it was when he stood outside the last room - his room - that he felt himself begin to lose it yet again.
Pushing open the door, he saw a cot in an obvious nursery. The walls were pale blue with cartoon images of both Muggle and not-so-Muggle images. Family shots and pictures of baby Harry on his own were scattered around on the walls while soft toys bunched together on a dresser. There was a rocking chair there as well, close to the window, cushioned with a blanket lain down the back. Harry walked over to the cot and picked up a teddy bear that was there, a teddy bear that he could've done with all those years at the Dursley's when he had nothing.
"It's not fair," he said quietly, to no-one in particular but aware that both Ron and Hermione were close by.
"No mate, it definitely isn't," Ron whispered, putting a hand on Harry's shoulder. The unfamiliar touch made Harry look at his friend with an abashed smile, before looking around for Hermione. She had stopped at the rocking chair, touching it slightly so it began to move back and forth, lost in her own thoughts. He watched as she swiped away a lone tear that fell down her cheek and suddenly it was just too much for him.
"I've got to get out of here," he choked, ignoring them both as he fled out of the room and down the stairs. Remus looked at him from where he was standing by the mantle, a picture of himself, Sirius and James in his hands - Remus, too, was crying. Without a second glance, Harry ran out of the house and down the driveway, stopping when he reached the edge of the lane and leant against a tree to cry once more.
"Harry?" Again it was Hermione who was checking how he was, but he didn't want her to see him like this so he moved around the tree and away from her, hastily wiping his eyes as he tried to get himself under control.
"Harry?" Her voice was closer and in moments she was looking at him with concern, Ron hovering behind her.
"It's not fair," Harry repeated quietly.
"No, it's not," Hermione agreed
"I want to get out of here," he continued, knowing he sounded like a petulant child.
"Okay, I'll take you back to Mrs Figg's and then come back for Ron," she soothed, "Remus, well, he…he wants to stay for a bit longer…"
"Mr Stephens? I need to thank him…"
"It was my pleasure Mr Potter," the Cornishman said from behind Ron, coming forward and shaking his hand, "I realise this hasn't been a pleasant experience, but I hope to see you again soon. After all, in two days, this is all yours…"
"I…I can't think of that right now," Harry stuttered, "say goodbye to Miss Baker for me."
He then took hold of Hermione's arm and in moments found himself back at Mrs Figg's garden shed.
"I won't be a moment," Hermione assured and was gone. Harry went and stood outside, trying to get some semblance of the day. So much had happened, he had seen and experienced nearly every emotion and was exhausted. All he wanted to do was find a dark room and sleep, and to stop feeling.
He heard Ron's arrival and when his friends joined him in the garden, he gave them a weary smile.
"Been one hell of a day," Ron joked, as they walked down the suburban street back to Privet Drive.
"Yeah," was all Harry said, lost in his thoughts.
"That's mum and dad's car," Hermione said suddenly, making Harry look down the road to see an unfamiliar silver sedan sitting outside the Dursleys, "what are they doing here? Something must be wrong…"
Without waiting for a response, Hermione began to sprint down the road, the two boys exchanging puzzled looks before following her. She had already alohomora-ed the front door and was in the kitchen by the time Harry and Ron had caught up.
"Here they are," Mrs Granger said brightly, raising from the dinner table to give her daughter a hug, "they can join us for dinner after all Petunia."
"What's wrong?" Hermione asked worriedly, "why are you here?"
"Nothing's wrong honey," Mrs Granger placated, "we just thought we'd come and visit. We can have a chat after dinner."
Harry watched as Hermione looked suspiciously between her mother and her father, trying to read their expressions.
"Why don't you and the boys clean up," Mr Granger suggested from his seat at the table, "we'll set some places for you then we can all enjoy this lovely meal that Petunia has put on for us." Hermione just nodded before leaving the room slowly, deep in thought - Ron and Harry close behind.
"What are they doing here?" Ron whispered urgently when he was sure they were out of earshot.
"I don't know," Hermione snapped back, "I don't even know how they found out where Harry lives! This is…concerning…"
Hermione finished washing her hands and let Ron move towards the sink as Harry waited his turn, all thoughts of his emotional day forgotten as he tried to think why Hermione's parents have driven all the way from…where, he didn't really know. He frowned - he had known Hermione for six years and he had no idea where she lived when she wasn't in Hogwarts! Suddenly, another horrible thought crossed his mind.
"They're not here to take you home, are they?" he asked urgently, replacing Ron at the sink.
"I don't know," she replied, hesitantly, "but that seems the most logical reason they're here…"
"You can't go!" Ron exclaimed as they all moved back down to the dinning room.
"Of course I'm not going to go Ron!" she hissed, pausing so she could look at both of them, "but that is the only reason they'd come here! Now look, both of you, this is my mum and dad and you have to let me deal with them my way - do you understand?"
"But…"
"There is no 'buts' Ron," she continued, staring him down viciously, "you either understand or you don't - do you understand?"
Meekly Ron nodded, Harry copying him when Hermione turned her stare onto him. Satisfied, she led the way back into the dinning room and sat down in the vacant seat next to her mother, Harry and Ron opposite her, next to Dudley.
The dinner was reasonably civil - Mr Granger talking to Uncle Vernon about drills, while the rest of the table just ate in polite silence. Harry glanced at Hermione, who was concentrating so hard on her dinner she didn't see him, and noted how much she looked like her mother - the same bushy, wild hair, brown eyes and even the mannerisms seemed the same. He smiled just when Mrs Granger looked away from her husband and met Harry's eyes, smiling back. Embarrassedly, he quickly went back to his dinner.
The meal came to an end and Harry automatically stood to begin to clear away the plates. He didn't notice the surprise on Mr and Mrs Granger's faces but was grateful when Ron and Hermione joined him with the now familiar evening ritual.
"Oh, no Hermione dear," Uncle Vernon gushed, "leave the dishes to the boys. You should go and speak with your parents."
Harry turned to his uncle in shock, as did Dudley who thought he may be included in the 'boys' comment.
"Well, actually Vernon," Mr Granger said politely, "we need to have a word with Ron and Harry as well…"
"What? Why?" Ron near shrieked, his face going deathly white.
"Oh for goodness sake Ron," Hermione growled, taking the dishes Ron was holding from his hands and putting them on the bench, "mum and dad aren't going to kill you because we kissed!"
"You kissed?" Harry questioned, with Mrs Granger and Dudley asking the same question at the exact same time.
"Well, yes, once," Hermione blushed, removing the plates Harry was holding, "a little while ago…"
"Really?" Harry continued, looking at a now beetroot Ron.
"Yeah," Ron confirmed, not looking Harry in the eye.
"And this is what we want to talk to you all about," Mr Granger said gruffly, looking directly at his daughter, "and why you failed to mention that Professor Dumbledore had died."
Harry tore his eyes away from Mr Granger to his aunt at the sound of broken crockery, seeing her empty dinner plate now in pieces on the floor, her face pale and frightened eyes staring back at him.
"Dumble…Dumbledore's dead?" she stammered to which Harry gave a curt nod, "why didn't you tell me?"
"Didn't think you cared," Harry answered offhandedly before looking directly at Mr Granger, "shall we go then? Hermione's room would be the best, it's bigger than ours." Mr Granger seemed slightly taken back by Harry's directness, but without another word he and his wife followed the line of teenagers out of the dinning room and towards Hermione's room upstairs and at the end of the hall.
No-one sat as the door was closed, each not sure what was going to happen next. Harry and Ron hovered at the edges, letting the Granger family do what they needed to do - Hermione stared defiantly at her father, while her mother stood between them, looking ready to referee them both.
"So, why are you here," Hermione began, her voice slightly on edge.
"Are you able to put one of those silencing charms on the room?" Mrs Granger asked, smiling in thanks as Hermione performed the necessary charm without a word.
"So, why are you here," Hermione repeated, putting her wand back in her pocket.
"We want to know why you're lying to us," her father answered, "and why you neglected to tell us you weren't planning to go back to Hogwarts…"
"How do you know…?"
"Professor McGonagall paid us a visit yesterday," Mrs Granger said calmly, "she said that you three weren't returning to school…"
"Professor McGonagall had no right…"
"She was perfectly within her rights to tell us that you were giving up your schooling to follow Harry," Mr Granger interrupted angrily.
"Hermione, this is your last year," Mrs Granger pleaded, "you are going to be Head Girl, you're head of your class - please, don't give that up!"
"Think of your future," Mr Granger added, "think about what you have planned. This fools errand that Harry has talked you into, it will ruin everything!"
"Fools errand?" Hermione repeated, her voice dangerously low, "Harry's talked me into? What do you think I am - a weak little girl unable to make up my own mind? That a handsome boy tells me to do something and I just drop everything and do it? It is my choice to do what I'm doing and I am fully aware of the consequences!"
"Are you?" Mr Granger yelled, "are you really? You were nearly killed once because of some mission of Harry's! Who's to say that this time you'll come back? Are you willing to die for him?"
Harry listened shocked, hearing the fears of a parent was something that he wasn't used to and seeing Hermione answer back to her father like that, about him, was bizarre.
"We are at war dad! Do you understand that - war!"
"And you are a child! Isn't there a ministry or something, adults better equipped to fight this Voldemort person?" he shouted back, "why is it up to you three to do whatever you're doing, this great secret task that you can't share with anyone."
"I am not a child," Hermione gritted, "and this is our war! Harry's war! I am not and will not walk away from him now!"
"I thought we agreed that you would stay away from him!" Mr Granger continued, indicating angrily at Harry, "that he was dangerous! Doesn't this prove we were right!"
"This is ridiculous," she seethed, "you're just twisting my words into something you wanted to hear! I told you I'd be more careful, that I wouldn't do anything rash and do you know what happened? Hogwarts was attacked and we lost Professor Dumbledore because I put my head in the sand and kept out of trouble! I'm not doing that again, I'm not standing back because I am too scared to do what's right! Harry needs me and I will be fighting with him, by his side!"
"I'm not going to let you do this! I'm not going to let you sacrifice yourself for this boy!"
"How are you going to stop me? Lock me up? Banish me from the family? Because if you make me, I'll choose Harry every time!"
"Hermione…" Harry finally ventured, startled when she turned to him, eyes blazing, "please, this isn't…"
"Isn't what, Harry?" she snapped, "isn't right? Isn't the way happy families should act? Isn't fair?" Furiously, she looked back at her father, "do you want to know what we did today? Where we were?" not waiting for a reply, she powered on, "we went to visit Harry's parent's graves and the home where they were killed. It was the first time he had been back there because the wonderful people he has lived with hate him so much, that they never bothered to take him there!"
"I know Harry's had a hard life, but…"
"But nothing! You asked why am I willing to sacrifice myself for him? Because Harry has sacrificed so much for all of us already.
"He was raised in this house by a family that didn't love him, who made him live in a cupboard under the stairs! And then he came to Hogwarts where he has been shunned more than once for things out of his control. He has faced death more than anyone ever should yet he has never backed away from what is right.
"Anyone else would've run away but Harry hasn't! He has been told he is the only one to defeat Voldemort, that only one of them can live at the same time - and you expect me to walk away from him because something may happen to me? Do understand now why I can't? Harry hasn't asked for any of this to happen to him! None of it! And he is willing to sacrifice himself for us yet you want me to turn my back on him? Well, I won't. I can't." Somewhere during her speech, Hermione had started to quietly cry and when she stopped speaking, the room remained silent other than her quiet sobs.
"Hermione, you are our daughter and we love you," Mrs Granger finally said, gently wiping the tears off Hermione's cheeks, "we're scared that we're going to lose you…"
"I'm scared too mummy," Hermione said quietly, "but I can't stand back and let Ron and Harry go on without me. I'm part of this, this is my fight too."
Mrs Granger drew Hermione into a hug, Mr Granger enveloping both women, his anger finally spent. After a few moments, he drew away and looked over at Harry and Ron.
"Are you sleeping with my daughter?" he asked Harry, who thought about the question and wondered if napping on the couch after an all-night study session in the common room counted.
"Dad!" Hermione exclaimed, obviously horrified.
"Let the boy answer Hermione," Mr Granger said calmly, "Harry, have you had sex with my daughter?"
"What?" Harry spluttered, confused, "me and…what? No! Of course not! I would never…he's the one who's kissed her!"
Frantically Harry tried to take Mr Granger's fatherly stare off of him by pointing to Ron, who had gone a brilliant shade of red.
"Once! We kissed once!" Ron exclaimed, "and it was, well…"
"…like kissing your uncle," Hermione finished, leaving her mother and standing in between Harry and Ron, "dad, both Harry and Ron are my friends and they would kill anyone who would try to hurt me in any way."
Wearily Mr Granger sighed, and sat down heavily on Hermione's bed, his wife sitting next to him before laying her arm tenderly around his shoulders.
"You're my baby girl Hermione," he said, looking up at her, "and I feel like we've grown so far apart, that I've lost you already."
Hermione went over to her father and knelt before him, taking his hands in hers, her tears once again falling.
"You have brought me up to do what is right, no matter how difficult," she said softly, "and you have brought me up knowing right from wrong. This is right daddy, what we are doing is right. I will always be your little girl and you will always be the first man in my life. But I'm growing up and I need to make my own choices, choices you might not agree with but that doesn't make them wrong. Please, trust me."
Mr Granger looked at her, his tears matching hers, before turning to Ron and Harry still standing by the door.
"Promise me you'll look after her," he said sadly, "I know she can probably look after herself fine, but promise me that you will do everything you can to keep her safe."
Harry took a few steps forward and laid a hand gently on Hermione's shoulder. Feeling his touch, she stood up next to him, giving him a glance before looking back at her parents. Ron came over and stood at her other side, completing the trio.
"I wish I could say that nothing bad will happen to Hermione, but I can't," Harry started, "but I can assure you that as long as both Ron and I are alive, we will do anything and everything to make sure she is as safe as humanly possible."
"Promise?" Mrs Granger whispered.
"You have my word," Harry replied. Giving them a small smile, he then turned to Hermione, hoping she understood that she needed some time with her parents alone and if she needed them, they were just down the hall. She smiled back and gave him a small nod. Knowing he was understood, Harry then went to the door and with Ron right behind him, he left the Granger family alone to say goodbye.