Unofficial Portkey Archive

The Time of Change
Chapter 2: At Home With Tonks

by Olafr (olafr@iinet.net.au)

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and associated milieu, characters, and situations are owned by J.K. Rowling and her licensees. This is a work of fan fiction, produced solely for enjoyment. No infringement of rights is intended.

Rating: PG-13 (so far)

Last updated: 25 February 2004.

Author's Notes: Revision 6: Incorporation of beta comments. Large changes to Tonks' & Harry's characterisation & speech. Numerous grammar & word choice fixes. Minor plot variations. Fixes for two contradictions of canon.

Once again, huge thanks to my beta-readers Nosila and Sarah Mandisa. It was they who picked over the first version and delivered it, whimpering and dripping red ink like blood, back to my door. I think the story is much better for their input, and I really appreciate it. Thank you, girls.

Chapter 2: At Home With Tonks

It seemed to Harry that he had barely fallen asleep when the covers were jerked back. 'Wakey, wakey, hands off snakey!' carolled Tonks. Harry cracked open his eyes to see Tonks standing near the foot of his bed, one hand holding the corner of his covers and the other on her hip. She wore a plain black tee-shirt and loose shorts. For some reason her hair was short and a kind of yellow-blonde, her eyebrows were dark, her skin slightly tan and her nose was finely-sculpted and small. Harry rather thought the look suited her. He sat up.

'What did you say?'

'I told you to get up,' she said with a wide grin. Harry shook his head.

'What time is it?' he mumbled, stretching.

'Time for your morning exercises!' said Tonks enthusiastically. She paused to grin again, then continued, 'You've gotta do more than just isometrics if we're going to get you all buff for Hermione.'

Harry blushed lightly but swung his legs over the bed. He briefly considered asking what isometrics were but dismissed the question as too hard for his current fuzzy-minded state. 'So what's today's timetable, then?' he asked as he took off his pyjama top. He hunted in his drawers for shorts and a tee-shirt, slid off his pyjama bottoms leaving himself dressed only in boxers, then quickly dressed. Somehow he didn't feel embarrassed at Tonks' presence, although when he realised this fact he sternly told himself not to think about it. She felt like one of his dorm-mates.

'Exercise, breakfast and shower, then I'm going to teach you relaxation and meditation!' replied Tonks with a grin.

'Meditation?'

'It's to help you clear your mind and find your centre,' she added at his befuddled look. When Harry remained confused, she added in a rush, 'Look, I'll explain when we do it.

'Then, depending on how we're going for time we'll do some work on your shields and general awareness, followed by lunch. After lunch we'll see what Dumbledore wants you to learn. When you're thoroughly sick of that we'll have another exercise session, then tea, then we'll see what your duelling is like. When that's done I'll send you to the showers again, then I guess you'll want to read or do some letter writing or something before bed. How's that sound, lover boy?'

Nodding, his head clearer but still not completely switched on, Harry asked, 'Are we gonna do that every day?'

Tonks shrugged. 'Depends. You're gonna do two exercise sessions and some other kind of strenuous activity every day. Other than that? Up to you, Harry. You're not a swot, are you? Dumbledore told me to make sure you spend at least some time each day just plain living. All work and no play makes Harry a dull lover boy!'

Harry pulled a face. 'If you keep calling me that I might just have to find a nickname for you, you know.'

Tonks grinned. 'Ooh, widdle Tonksie is scaaared! Come on, lover boy, follow me.' With that she turned, tripped over her feet, and fell flat on her face.

'That looks painful. Do I have to?'

* * *

'Oof, I'm full. Why do I have to eat so much, Tonks?' complained Harry as he sat back in his chair at the kitchen table, the wreckage of a substantial lunch spread out before him. 'I don't want to end up like Dudley the Blob.'

'Don't worry about it, Harry,' said Tonks with a wave of her hand. 'You need to put on weight. You're too thin! Just wait till you get into the exercise program I've got planned for you,' she said with a snicker. 'You're gonna be so hungry once we get you up to speed. The right foods'll help your body build itself up. I learned about this from one of my instructors in the Academy, you know. Not part of the course, but kind of after hours, we used to play cards and stuff. Anyway, if you just trust me to feed you properly, I think you'll like the results.' Tonks wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and smirked.

Harry blushed at Tonks' playfulness but ignored it and nodded. 'Okay.'

'You did well on your shields this morning.'

He nodded, ducking his head and blushing a little. 'Thanks,' he said with a modest smile. 'I was more interested in the, um, meditation exercises we did. You know they had me learning Occlumency last year to try and keep Voldemort out of my mind?' Tonks nodded mutely, and Harry continued, 'Snape would just say, "clear your mind!" and barge in, not a word of how to do it. I couldn't do it well enough, Voldemort found out about the link between us and used it to feed me lies and... in the end, he almost possessed me.' His breath hitched, but he forced himself to continue. 'Sirius died, you were put in hospital, the others were injured too. Ron, Ginny... Hermione....' He closed his eyes and suppressed the mixture of sadness, anger, and regret he felt rising. 'What you told me about meditation, it sounded just like what I'm supposed to do for Occlumency, even if I didn't get it the first time.... Why?!' He thumped the table with his fist, scowling angrily. 'Why didn't that bastard teach me that when it could have, it may have, helped keep Voldemort out of my head?' Thumping the table again, Harry was unable to control the tide of emotion and he bowed his head as hot tears leaked from his clenched-shut eyes.

Tonks stepped forward and pulled him into an embrace, Harry's head resting on her stomach as she stood by his chair. Her smell filled his senses and he felt himself begin to calm in her warm embrace. At length, Harry pulled back and Tonks squatted next to him, wearing a serious, concerned expression.

'Harry, I don't know Occlumency so I can't answer your question. Maybe if you ask Dumbledore he'll be able to answer. What if there was a good reason?' Tonks wriggled in her squat, trying not to lose her balance. She started to fall backwards but stopped herself by grabbing onto Harry's chair. She grinned at him ruefully. 'Snape's a bastard, but he hates You-Know-Who with a passion. I'm sure he wouldn't have sabotaged your learning of a vital skill simply to spite you.'

'Voldemort,' said Harry, watching Tonks carefully. She flinched, just barely. 'Call him Voldemort... or, since he's no more a Lord than I am, call him by his name, Tom Riddle.'

Tonks stared at him in confusion. She wobbled again, and moved to sit in the seat next to him. It scraped loudly on the floor as she sat in it. 'What?'

'Voldemort is just the letters of his name rearranged.'

'Huh?'

'Tom Marvolo Riddle. "I am Lord Voldemort." He was a student at Hogwarts when Dumbledore was a teacher.'

'Huh.' She shook her head. 'Let's not get off the subject, Harry. I want to go through an exercise I learned at the Academy with you. It's called motivational analysis. Okay?'

'We're going to try and analyse someone's motives?' asked Harry. Tonks nodded.

'That's right. Um... Occlumency is the protection of the mind against invasion, right?'

'And against thought reading, Legilimency, yes,' he replied in a distracted manner.

Tonks nodded, frowning in thought. 'The reason to teach you an obscure and advanced art like that is because You-Know-Who is a Legilimencer? Is that right?'

'Yes.' Harry swallowed, adding, 'My scar gives me a direct connection to him... to his mind. I've had visions, where I've seen through his eyes, spoken with his voice. When I'm near him it burns, it feels like a hot iron being applied to my head. And when he tortures people in my visions, I... I kind of feel it, too.' He shivered, wrapping his arms about himself.

Tonks goggled at him, but then shook her head and continued. 'Well, that just makes it all the more important that you learn to protect yourself, Harry!' She slapped his shoulder and grinned while Harry stared at her in disbelief. She blinked, then removed her smile by running her hand downwards over her face. 'So, seriously now, what do you know that we can't afford to have You-Know-Who learn?'

'Well, the prophecy of course.'

She shook her head, waving one hand in denial. He had hardly ever seen her like this. Her eyes had an intensity he had rarely seen in anyone, and her mien was completely series. 'No, no. When it was decided to teach you Occlumency. What did you know then that posed a risk to others? The Order, or even just Snape himself?'

Harry frowned more deeply, pondering. 'Well, let me see... Dumbledore said he couldn't let Voldemort discover the love he holds for me... but I didn't know that then.' He blushed, but continued. 'There's Hermione... and everyone else of course!' he added hurriedly. 'But that couldn't be it, they've always been my friends. What else...' He shook his head. 'I don't see it.'

Tonks smiled internally at Harry's slip, but kept a straight face and continued. 'We're trying to work out why Snape reacted as he did. Did you know, then, that Snape was a spy for the Order?'

'Yes.'

'You were learning Occlumency from Snape so he must be accomplished in that art as well as Legilimency. We, meaning the Order, know that You-Know-Who is a Legilimencer, and so of course any spy in the Death Eaters would have to be a sufficiently skilled Occlumens that You-Know-Who wouldn't be able to tell that he was hiding anything. With me so far?' At Harry's nod, she continued. 'If Snape knew that you knew he was a spy, he would see you as an unprotected storehouse of information. Information that, if discovered, would almost certainly lead to his torture and/or death. And if he knew about the connection between you and You-Know-Who he would no doubt presume that, er, You-Know-Who would have free access into your mind, should he become aware of it.'

Harry gasped as understanding burst upon him. Suddenly he had a clear picture of what he thought Tonks was driving at. Memories flashed across his mind's eye, almost too quickly for recognition, recalling his interactions with Snape throughout the year. 'Oh my God! No wonder he was so awful... he was desperate!' he cried in disbelief, the words tumbling out of his mouth. 'When I couldn't do it, all he could see was Voldemort gaining access to his deepest-held secrets through me! And when I Legilimenced from him... he broke off the training because of the risk I would get still more information to pass on to Voldemort!!' Harry paused, his eyes distant. 'No wonder he's always been so nasty to me despite saving my life several times! Oh my God,' repeated Harry in horror. 'What must he think of me?!'

'That's great, Harry!' cried Tonks enthusiastically with a big grin. 'You're beginning to get the idea, I think.' Then her face cleared again, once again serious. 'But Harry... don't jump to conclusions. It's very important. We think we might know why he broke off Occlumency, but that doesn't tell us anything about how he treated you before then.'

Brought to a halt by Tonks words, Harry considered Tonks' words. His face burned as he thought about how stupid he must have just sounded. 'I guess.'

Tonks grinned at him, seeming to read his mind. 'You were doing great until the "always so nasty" part, kiddo.' She schooled her expression again into what Harry was coming to think of as her lecturing face.

'Harry, motivational analysis is useful but you need to learn its limits, too. There's never just one thing. People are complex. The reasons they do things change. It takes years to learn to do this well. I'm only a beginner; I'm not that much older than you, after all.' She grinned and poked him in the ribs with one finger. Harry jumped, trying to get away from the probing digit. 'So it's not all your fault. He might still be an utter bastard - in fact in my experience he is an utter bastard, hard and bitter. But I think now you see why, from your point of view, he was apparently able to disobey orders from Dumbledore who was his superior both as his Headmaster and as Head of the Order, and a possible reason why it was that his resentment of you reached new heights this year.' She watched the expressions across his face and as he calmed moved to hold him in front of her at arm's length. 'Harry. Since we're being so serious and all right now, here's something else I think I'll drop on you now to get it out of the way.'

He looked up, now nervous. 'What is it?'

Tonks leaned forward and took his hands. 'Please don't take this the wrong way, Harry. Just sit and listen until I'm finished, okay?' Wide-eyed, dreading the worst, Harry nodded mutely. 'Harry, you're a really nice guy and I like you a whole lot. You're generous and love your friends deeply, and you're not afraid to do what's right. But there's an important thing you've been missing, and I'd like you to try and learn how to do it.' She stopped, and swallowed at Harry's worried look. She smiled reassuringly and squeezed his hands. 'You haven't seemed to be able to understand someone else's point of view; you know, put yourself in their shoes to understand why it is that they might act the way they do. The kind of thing we were just talking about. But Harry, doing that kind of thing is a really important just getting along with others. Sure, lots of adults never learn to do it, but most people don't like people like that very much.' She winced at her inadvertent verbal misstep and took a deep breath, sighing. 'Snape called you self-centred. And he was right, Harry.'

Smiling at Harry again and looking him in the eyes, Tonks continued. 'Hopefully now that I've shown you how to do it - well, one way, anyway - you'll continue to practice until it becomes automatic, instinctive. If you can make a habit of thinking like that, asking yourself why somebody does something and thinking about how they'll react, you'll have a really useful skill for later on in life. Other things follow, too. You'll be an even nicer guy. Plus,' she added with a gamine grin, 'I think I might end up liking you even more than I do now.' She leaned forward and took him into a hug, this time kissing him on the cheek.

Harry returned the hug but his attention was wholly taken by his whirling mind. A storm of thoughts too fragmentary to identify whirled about his head. He felt a combination of amazement and self-recrimination that buffeted him as he looked unseeing at the far wall of the attic. He didn't break out of his reverie until Tonks squeezed him again in preparation to letting him go. 'Harry?' she asked. He pulled back and looked her in the eyes.

'Thank you, Tonks,' he said quietly. 'Thanks for teaching me a valuable lesson. I can't believe how stupid I've been.' He continued, muttering to himself, 'And I thought Ron was such a prat. He's got nothing on me.'

'Don't shop yourself, Harry,' said Tonks with a snort, still smiling. 'You've got nothing on Ron when it comes to that.' She giggled at the surprise on his face, squeezed his hands once more, got up from the table and went to her seemingly endless knapsack. After rummaging in it for a bit, she came back with a letter addressed to Harry in Dumbledore's familiar writing. 'You should sleep on it, Harry. Sort out your thoughts.' She proffered the letter to him, switching out of serious mode again as though a switch had been flipped. 'Here, why don't you read this. It's from the Dumble-man.'

7 July, 1996

Dear Harry,

Thank you for placing sufficient trust in an old man to at least try his suggestions. Before I list what I feel you should study, perhaps I should take a moment to explain what I believe to be your birthright. (I had hoped to share this with you that night we returned from the Ministry, but alas, we didn't get that far.) Based on my research into your ancestors and extended family, both living and dead, I feel safe in believing that you are one of the gifted few who can sense magic in its raw form. To date, this seems to have manifested itself in your instinctive ability to do some things - for example, your use of a broom - and in your somewhat uneven ability to perform 'ordinary' magic. By this I mean that you have demonstrated skill far beyond your years in performing truly advanced charms, such as the Patronus, yet sometimes have difficulty mastering some of the basic (by comparison) charms of the regular school curriculum.

If my belief is true, then the reason this is so is that your magic senses are starting to give you information that conflicts with your knowledge and what you can see. You are most likely not yet consciously aware of this. However the conflict causes your magic to choke itself, so to speak. You cannot focus properly and so your magic is not focussed.

You should have guessed by now that what I intend is that you regain your focus by learning to be consciously aware of what you currently sense only subconsciously. This will mostly be done with Tonks' aid, and I have briefed her on a program that should help. However, you will also need to learn enough about the principles of magic that you can re-formulate the spells of the remaining two years' curriculum (as well as the last five) into terms that make sense to you. To understand why this is necessary, perhaps you might consider an analogy: If you learn to do something by touch, can you still do it as easily when you open your eyes? For most people, the answer is 'not always'.

Alas, both learning your senses and acquiring the knowledge you need to use them will require hard work, knowledge, and application. I feel certain, however, with the assistance of Miss Tonks, that you will make great strides in achieving your birthright over this summer.

Specific items I suggest that you study include:

Meditation and visualisation (as tutored by Miss Tonks), plus related items.

The principles of magic (e.g. The Principles of Magic by Daedelus Tomkins; The Way of Things by Methodias Lerner)

Learning to exploit your senses (e.g. Sensing the Insensible by A.G. Silver; Powers of the Ancients by Ignatius Jones; A Study of the Sensoira Magis by William Evans)

The actual composition of 'ordinary' spells (A Component-based Taxonomy of Common Magic by Felonius Black; Real Magic by Georgina S. Diggle; The Annals of the Wizengamot Internal Spell Antecedent Research and Development Society; standard spell references such as The Standard Book of Spells Grades 1-7)

You will find all of the above, as well as other works chosen for their potential to assist your understanding, in the selection of volumes I sent with Miss Tonks. I urge you to take full advantage of them during the summer. I'm sure you will find other useful and interesting areas of investigation in the material contained therein.

The main disadvantage of being the way you are, Harry, is that you must know at least in general terms how things work in order to make things happen. Eventually your senses will develop to the point that you can gain understanding by directly observing the environment around you, but until that time you should therefore also undertake wide reading in general knowledge, both magical and Muggle. While this is not something that you will need to do immediately, you should keep it in mind for the future.

Finally, let me point out the obvious: by being as open with you as I am, I am giving you information that could be used by the enemy against us. I am placing considerable trust in you. I do not think that you will spread about that which you learn from me - I most certainly trust you to keep your own counsel in that regard - but I hope you will agree that it is vitally important that you continue to improve in Occlumency to the point that it becomes automatic and continuous for you. I have not yet settled on an alternate method for achieving this. Perhaps you might have suggestions.

Please do not hesitate to write me regarding any subject at all, public or private. I will undertake to either answer you fully, or tell you why I cannot share that knowledge with you. Please do me the favour of not committing such letters to Owl post, however; if you instead give them to Alastor Moody he will ensure they reach my hands securely.

Good luck in your endeavours. I know you can do it.

Albus Dumbledore

Putting the letter on the tabletop, Harry wandered over to the partially-stocked bookshelves. The books had been in the shrunken boxes and trunks that Tonks had pulled out of her knapsack yesterday. He was shocked at how many there were. As he browsed the titles Harry saw that not only were the books Dumbledore had mentioned present, but also many others. They covered a wide range of subjects. One prominent group of books were thick, mostly identical volumes... 'Annals of W.I.S.A.R.D.S.', each with a different year on the spine. He smirked briefly at the title, wondering if the name of the society had been chosen simply for the sake of the spiffy acronym. As he browsed, he noticed a number of tempting titles, such as Charming Brooms, and Magical Parchment, and even My Life as a Hare: Studies and Anecdotes in the Art of the Animagus. His fingers itched, wanting to yank the books from the shelves and begin reading.

But first, he had a letter to write. No, two letters, even if one was going to turn his stomach. And a security charm or two to learn.

* * *

In the office of Albus Dumbledore, two men sat in front of a warming fire. A nearby window let in the dusty orange-gold light of the setting sun, illuminating the office in warm colours. The summer sun was still up even though it was after dinnertime, but the day had never been very warm.

Severus Snape and Dumbledore sat in comfortable, wing-back chairs before the fire. A brandy snifter with a skim of dark caramel-coloured liquid in its bottom sat by Snape's right hand on an occasional table; a large mug with what appeared to be hot chocolate sat to Dumbledore's left.

Their conversation was interrupted by the flames turning green. The head of Alastor Moody appeared in the verdant, now heatless flames. 'Dumbledore,' he said. 'Letter for you. From the boy.'

Dumbledore leaned forward and took the thick packet from Moody's hand. His senses tingled as he touched the envelope - it was heavy with magic. 'How are things there? All quiet?'

Moody nodded. 'Yes, nothing unusual. That fat boy was causing trouble with his little gang but there's been no sign of Potter. I adjusted the wards as you asked late this afternoon.'

'Good, good. Has there been any sign of magic emissions from the house? Any magical activity or persons?'

'No, nothing.'

'Good. Was there anything else, Alastor?'

'No. Tomorrow, then.'

'Thank you, Alastor.'

The flames returned to normal with the disappearance of Moody's grizzled, green head. Dumbledore turned the letter over in his hands, inspecting it, before finally cracking the seal. A brief sparkle betrayed the breaking of a charm. He withdrew the contents of the envelope. There were three sheets: Two being a letter to him from Harry, the other an apparently blank sheet of parchment bearing only the legend 'Severus Snape'. His eyebrows reaching for his hairline, Dumbledore waved a hand over the blank parchment which stubbornly remained blank.

'Well, well,' he mused to himself. He looked over his glasses at Snape. 'Here, Severus, this would appear to be for you.'

Snape leaned forward, his expression schooled to evenness. He took the parchment from Dumbledore. Potter's untrained, uneven handwriting swam into view as he touched it. He raised an eyebrow before settling back into his chair to read.

Dear Professor Snape,

I wish to apologise for my attitude and actions towards you during the last year. I have been thinking about what happened. I invaded your privacy, and I am very sorry.

You may know that Professor Dumbledore is being more open with me. He has made me realise how important it is that I master Occlumency fully. Therefore I wish to ask your advice as a master Occlumens.

I believe you know where I stay over summer. Tonks has told me that magical people are permitted here only if absolutely necessary. Also, through our previous sessions, I know that the teacher of Occlumency will see the student's memories, and so must be trusted. Knowing what I know, my question is, whom can I ask to tutor me in Occlumency? The only people I can think of are yourself and Professor Dumbledore. Given last year, can you recommend a suitable alternative tutor?

If no suitable alternative is available, I must ask you if you will please resume teaching me. I promise to work with you to the best of my ability. I hope that is sufficient for you, for I can make no stronger commitment.

I look forward eagerly to any suggestions you may have.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter.

P.S.: I hope you approve of the security charm on this letter. If not, information as to how to improve would be welcome. I did the best that I could figure out how, but I most certainly do not know it all.

Snape frowned mightily at the letter. Potter's words rang with sincerity, and he stifled his first impulse, which was to simply throw it into the fire in a fit of pique.

'My letter was both surprising and welcome,' said Dumbledore. 'How about yours, Severus?'

'He apologised, and asked for advice,' Snape found himself saying. He had planned to say, Potter apologised for his conduct and asked for advice about Occlumency, but he had not been able to bring himself to say any of the key words. His eyes widened in spite of himself, and he waved his hand over the parchment as Dumbledore had done. The wordless scan revealed the presence of a truly crafty security charm. 'Great Merlin.'

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. 'Harry said that you would need to be prompted. He asked me to tell you that he mentioned his conduct last year, and Occlumency.'

'Yes, he asked me to advise him as to how he could improve his Occlumency given the... restrictions that exist around him,' said Snape. His mouth twisted - once again he had not been able to say what he intended. His eyes drifted to the letter once more before returning to Dumbledore. 'And where on Earth did Potter learn to do that?'

'Books on security and parchment charms were included in the package I sent with Nymphadora. I see he has found them, read at least critical portions of them, and in spite of his handicap has managed to cast and merge a particularly interesting combination of moderately advanced charms.' Dumbledore paused, looking Snape in the eyes. 'I was not able to read your letter, and I had to use special techniques to determine what Harry had done. I am not at all certain that I could break the particular combination he used on your letter without destroying it. You will likely also find that you cannot read the letter aloud or transcribe it.'

'Is the combination of charms used standard Auror practice?' Snape asked curiously. Dumbledore shook his head.

'No. I rather suspect that using advice from Nymphadora as a starting point, Harry did some quick research in the right book and was able to execute the charms. From a technical point of view he did not get the mix quite right - had he used a similar combination on my letter, we would have had difficulty discussing him at all - but the very fact that he did not means that he is at least somewhat aware of the shortcomings of that particular charm set. I suspect he went all-out on your letter to impress you, presumably of his sincerity, whereas he used a different charm set on my letter that was no less secure but depended on the fact that the envelope was addressed to me.' Dumbledore looked into the fire, one hand wrapped around his mug. 'I wonder what Nymphadora said and did to him? Harry as he was only two weeks ago could not have done this. I rather suspect that Mr Potter has had an epiphany and is forever changed.'

Silence reigned for a long moment, broken only by the crackling of the fire. The sunlight drifted up the Headmaster's wall and was dimming towards a red-pink colour. At length, Snape said, 'His analysis of possible candidates for Occlumency tutors was exactly correct, for exactly the right reasons. I most certainly would have not thought him capable of such perception,' he finished condescendingly.

'If what has happened is what I suspect, Harry is likely seeing the world in a whole new light. You may wish to keep that in mind when dealing with him, Severus. As for Occlumency, he is learning meditation as a starting point for developing his senses. This will have the beneficial side effect of making him familiar with the feeling of having a calm mind. Even though we both know that mediation itself is useless in the practise of Occlumency, I feel that it can only help Harry. I rather suspect that Mr Potter has had a more difficult life than even I feared, as closely as I observed him. I fear that he has not previously known what it is to be relaxed and at ease.'

Snape suppressed the urge to object to Dumbledore's analysis, recalling instead memories gleaned from Potter's mind during the last school year. Fear, doubt, worry, threat, determination, nervousness... there was precious little joy except in Quidditch and no simple relaxation that he could see. Sipping at the remainder of his brandy, Severus Snape contemplated the possibility that Potter's life was, in its way, almost as hellish as his own, particularly now that The Dark Lord was actively seeking him almost full-time now, and the boy dare not poke his head outside scrying barriers for more than a few minutes at a time.

* * *

Harry turned over in his bed, rustling the duvet cover loudly, frustrated at being unable to sleep. Conflicting thoughts of Snape ran around in his head as he helplessly reviewed his many encounters with the man, both this past year and in previous years. He was unable to form a consistent view of the man - often nasty, yes; the events of this year did not change that. But why was he nasty? Why did he treat the Gryffindor and Slytherin students so differently? He must know he was doing it, why? Tonks had told him that meditation would help him clear his mind, once he mastered it. Why had Snape not even bothered to tell him about it, let alone teach him? The approach he had taken seemed almost... sadistic, he thought; it seemed as though he simply attacked and let Harry sort out for himself how to defend. Other than that simple instruction - "clear you mind!" - he had been on his own with no idea of how to arrive at a solution. He punched a pillow in frustration and turned over heavily by arching his body so only his feet and shoulders touched the bed, then flipping and falling back onto the mattress.

The quick, quiet slap of bare feet made him feel guilty. He looked up as Tonks sat on the edge of his bed, a black shadow against the all-but-black room. 'I'm sorry, Tonks,' he said quietly.

Tonks reached out and touched his forehead. 'Are you okay, Harry? What's wrong?'

'Thinking about Snape.'

'Oh. What about him?'

Harry paused to collect his thoughts. 'I accept that he bears a grudge against my father. I accept that he sees me as a risk. But I just can't understand why he's such an utter bastard in the classroom, why he's so biased. It's not even all me, since he does it Hermione and Neville and Ron, and to the other classes of Gryffindors as well, and he did it before I ever came on the scene.'

Tonks was silent, then shoved him on the shoulder. 'Budge over, I'm cold.' Harry moved over into a cool part of the bed while Tonks slipped in behind him. He turned over and faced her, waiting for her to speak. 'I can't shed any light on Snape, Harry. I'm not an all-knowing oracle or a seer. But....' She paused.

'But?'

'Well, just because you're smart or accomplished doesn't mean that you're any good at teaching. Especially with younger children. Teaching is something that lots of people just can't come to grips with. I hear you're pretty good at it though, lover boy,' she finished with a happy voice. Harry returned the smile that he could not see. For a time she was quiet, and when she resumed speaking, her voice was contemplative.

'There was a guest teacher while I was at the Academy, they brought him in to try and teach us deductive reasoning.' She paused, snorting, then continued scathingly, 'He was one of the most brilliant men I've ever met, but he was utterly useless. Either he'd forgotten his time as a student, or I guess maybe...' She fell silent, and eventually Harry prompted her.

'Maybe?' he asked curiously.

'I just had a thought. Something I read while I was at the Academy... there are people who just leap to correct conclusions. According to what I remember, the solution just appears to them. Yeah, maybe that was it.' She paused, hmming a bit, then continued. 'Anyway, let me think now. Oh yeah... people like that are often terribly intelligent, but they get frustrated when you can't see things like they do. Some people who say "obviously" a lot are intellectual snobs, trying to make you think they're smarter than you. But for some of them, it is obvious because that's how their mind works, and they can't conceive that everyone else's mind doesn't work that way too.'

'People don't all learn in the same way or at the same rate,' he said, slightly uncertain.

'Correct.' She smiled impishly. 'Some people learn faster than others. Some people learn from books, some people learn by hearing things said to them, some people learn by doing or by touch. All kinds of variations.'

'But if Snape can't teach, why is he teaching at Hogwarts?'

Tonks sighed. 'It's not as black and white as that, Harry. He can teach, it's just that he doesn't necessarily have the patience to teach well. Snape is perhaps the best potions master in Europe. I figured this might come up so I asked Dumbledore about it. His understanding of advanced potions is without peer, and few are better than him at pure potions research. That, together with the fact that students that pass his teaching are out some of the best potions people around may make up for the fact that he's an utter arse to the younger students, and all his other flaws.'

'And then there's the whole Order thing.'

'Yes.'

'So... I've been resenting the fact that he didn't teach me meditation to help with Occlumency, but... he may not know it himself?'

'Or he may have been taught it does no good, or there may be some objective reason why it's not the right approach, or he may simply be teaching you the way he himself was taught.' She sighed. 'Even though you don't necessarily have enough information to know what the reason is, do you accept that he might have one? He might simply be sadistic, but perhaps it's the case that he doesn't enjoy doing what he does to you but does it because he has to?'

'Yeah.'

'Good.' Tonks paused, then said, 'Turn over. Face away from me.'

Puzzled, Harry did as she asked. Tonks snuggled up behind him, her front pressed against his back, her arm thrown over his chest. He felt safe and warm.

'That's better,' she said happily. 'I've OD'd on being serious for today, Harry. I need a snuggle. So go to sleep, lover boy. I'm right here.'

Harry wriggled, settling himself like a little boy. He smiled to himself and felt his eyelids closing. 'I still think he's an utter bastard and I don't like him at all.'

'Me too! But that doesn't matter. Just work with him and learn what he knows. You don't have to learn his attitude, Harry. You're better than that. Use him! Learn his knowledge and skills. Then take them and use them for the greater good, or whatever else your aims might be.'

'Me... use Snape,' mused Harry with a snort. 'Now there's a happy thought.'

Harry felt a brief contact against the nape of his neck. 'Good night, Harry.'

'Good night, Nymph,' he said happily as he finally worked out that she had kissed him. That was his last thought as he faded out into sleep.

Nymphadora Tonks lay still and watched as Harry relaxed fully and his breathing changed to the slow pattern of sleep. She kissed the nape of his neck again then shook her head lightly with a rueful smile. 'You're going to be quite a heartbreaker one day soon, Harry Potter,' she murmured before settling herself for sleep.

* * *

13 July, 1996

Dear Harry,

After discussing the question of your education in Occlumency at length with Professor Snape, we have decided that the best solution overall is to have him visit you once per week. I fear there is no suitable alternate tutor available in the near term. He also has news for you which he will impart when he sees you.

Would Monday evenings be suitable for you? Assuming this is acceptable, Professor Snape will visit you after full dark of next Monday, 15 July. I appreciate that this means you will finish very late, but it is necessary for maximum security.

Yours faithfully,

Albus Dumbledore.

Harry groaned as he put down the letter. 'Once a week, Monday night, after full dark. Merlin, Tonks, he won't get here until ten o'clock.'

Tonks magicked the dinner dishes clean with a wave of her wand and they floated into their proper places in the cabinet. Harry had become used to the amount of food that Tonks forced him to eat and while he no longer felt uncomfortably full, he did feel well fed.

Stretching, Harry looked over his arms and shoulders. It was difficult to tell - was Tonks' stern exercise regime yielding results? Smiling at his self-absorbtion, Harry leant back and watched Tonks as she bustled about. He pulled Hermione's latest letter to him, dug out some parchment and a quill and ink, and began composing his reply. For a time there was silence except for the scratching of his quill and the occasional crashes and bumps of Tonks moving about.

'It's just as well you brought a good supply of parchment, you know, Tonks,' he said, his quill scratching as he wrote. He was nearing the end of his second page, and he began closing the letter off. 'I would have run out by now otherwise.'

Tonks sat on the table next to him, swinging her legs. 'You've been carrying on quite a correspondence this year, haven't you, lover boy,' she said. 'Do you normally do that?'

Harry looked at her strangely, his quill poised above the page. 'You've got to be kidding,' he said with some heat. 'If Vernon Bloody Dursley doesn't have poor Hedwig - and myself - under lock and key, I can't send or receive any owls because Dumbledore won't let me! I used to write Hermione and Ron a lot, and Sirius, but the last few years....' He paused, sighing, then and signed Hermione's letter before sealing it with sealing wax and a touch of magic to prevent prying eyes. He still had to reply to Luna's latest letter, but that could wait a while. 'What do you have planned for tonight, little Tonksie?' he asked with a teasing grin.

She snorted at him and smiled. 'You've been doing really well in the meditation, so I thought we'd take it to the next level. Come on.' Taking his hand she hoisted him out of his chair and out into the middle of the echoingly large space that had become their duelling, exercise, and practice area. She let him go and faced him.

'Do you know anything about the martial arts, Harry?' She waited as he shook his head mutely. She explained, 'Fighting. With fists, weapons, whatever. Sometimes it's put together in a formal way and it's called a martial art. Martial arts, as such, mainly come from Asia.' She snorted. 'Hey, Harry, look at me! I sound like a Professor!' She made her hair flash through neon pink, leaf green, a bright cobalt blue, repeating the cycle before settling on a yellow-blonde colour. He laughed at her, and she grinned at him, saying, 'I'm sorry, it goes against the grain to be so serious but it's like I can't help it!'

'I don't mind,' he said. 'Either way, you're Tonks. Or Nymph. Either way, you're not boring and I love that about you.' He blushed then, but smiled through it. Tonks smiled warmly and hugged him.

'Thanks, Harry,' she said quietly and sincerely. Quickly she pecked him on his forehead then released him and stepped back. 'As I was saying,' she said, using her lecturing voice but with an impish smile, 'some of these martial arts are interesting because their practitioners have been recorded as being able to do remarkable feats. Many martial arts are as much philosophies for living as they are methods of fighting, but one thing most of the interesting ones have - you know, the ones where people have been able to do remarkable things - is the notion of relaxed awareness. This is being in your centre.

'Now,' she continued with a theatrical eye-roll as she flicked her hair to a pleasant sky-blue, 'many dress up the notion with spiritual codes and other things, but the gist of it is that by being fully relaxed and aware, in the centre, you can act and react from a combination of thought and instinct, become able to access your subconscious mind somewhat, and even amplify your strength and speed. If you are not fully relaxed, you have doubt, indecision, and hesitation in the back of your mind. By being fully relaxed, you react without doubt, without hesitation, and with your full power.' She paused to bring into being a protego shield which visibly shimmered with power, then a lumos which shone like a searchlight. 'Interesting, eh?'

Harry nodded, wide-eyed. 'Yeah! You're going to teach me that?' he asked eagerly.

'Yup! Well, we'll start, anyway. It take a while. You've gotta learn some exercises, and then we'll bring your meditation into it. It's kind of like meditation on the move, although you extend your awareness, not close it off like you have been. Eventually I want you to be able to fight or duel or do anything at all with your spirit centred, ready to react quickly, instinctively, and properly to surprise events while putting all your energy and commitment into whatever it is you are doing. In this state, you should be able to sense what is happening around you all the time.'

Wide-eyed, Harry nodded again. 'I want to learn it!'

'That's my Harry-boy!' enthused Tonks. She calmed, adding, 'Just so you know. Dumbledore told me that being centred is a necessary state of mind for you to contact your senses, at least initially.'

Harry nodded again, not in the least surprised.

'Okay, then,' said Tonks. 'Let's begin, then. You wanna put on some exercise clothes, lover-boy, or are you gonna do it like you used to?' She waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

Blushing heavily, Harry grinned in spite of himself as he turned to walk over to his wardrobe. 'Only if you do, too, Nymph,' he tossed over his shoulder with a grin.

'You should be careful what you ask for, Harry,' she shot back with a wide grin.

Shaking his head, Harry pulled clothes from a drawer but said nothing.

* * *

It was almost exactly ten o'clock on the following Monday evening when Snape entered the attic, much as Tonks had done two weeks earlier. The evening was warm after a hot day, with the scent of rain in the air promising relief later that night or perhaps in the morning.

This time, Harry was not caught unawares. A ward he had established warned him of the passage of a being through the open window, and a second, more powerful ward set in a six-foot semicircle around the window automatically cancelled the disillusionment charm on Snape and his broomstick.

When Snape entered, Harry was sitting in the library studying The Way of Things and Tonks was slouched in one of the chairs by the fireplace reading a novel. He looked up at the breaching of the alarm ward and watched as Snape appeared out of thin air as he sailed through the second ward. Snape looked around with a flashing glance and headed towards a landing at the edge of the practice area near the kitchen.

'Good evening, Professor Snape,' he said politely after putting down the book and rising to his feet. He started towards the Professor at an even stride, beginning his calming exercises even as he walked.

'Potter,' said Snape in reply. 'This is... not what I expected.' Harry stopped a few feet from Snape.

'I don't plan to tell you how it got this way, Professor,' said Harry, slightly nervous. 'You might want to Legilimence for that. Do you need to discuss anything with Tonks, or shall we get straight into it?' He paused, mentally gritted his teeth, and added, 'May I offer you refreshment?'

'We can begin straight away.'

'Fine, then. Won't you please join me in the practice area? It'd be a shame to ruin any furniture with a stray curse.'

Snape boggled at Potter for a moment before following him into the centre of the large, empty area. He watched without comment as Potter flicked his wand. To his amazement, two large, deep chairs with wooden arms and leather cushions appeared facing one another in the middle of the empty space about two metres away. Only a lifetime of training in schooling his expression kept him from revealing his surprise.

With a hand made sensitive to the nuances of magic by long experience with the subtleties of potions, Snape felt the wood of the chair as he watched Potter seat himself. The material of the chair was absolutely steady. It felt wholly natural with no emanation of magic to betray it as anything other than hand-crafted furniture.

Sitting, Snape made himself comfortable. Drawing his wand from its forearm holster, he pointed it elegantly into the air. 'Are you ready, Potter?'

'I believe so, sir.'

'Well then, we will begin by evaluating your current level. I shall attempt to discern how this room came to be, as you suggested. Legilimens!'

At first, there was nothing - his probe disappeared into a grey nothingness. A shake of the wand, then repeat. 'Legilimens!' Still nothing. Well, then. One final try. 'Legilimens!!' he cried, putting all his power behind the probe. This time he got something, but not the usual melange of vaguely connected memories. Instead he got a steady image of a grassy field with a meandering stream, the warm sun and the chuckling sound of the brook as it tumbled over rounded stones soothing and making one want to-

Snape shook himself, breaking the spell. Amazing. Time for some positive feedback, as Dumbledore called it. 'Well done, Potter. I was not able to get anything of value. Let us try again, except this time I will not tell you what I shall be seeking out.'

An hour and a half later, Harry Potter slumped exhausted in his chair in the middle of the practice area. Snape stood smoothly and watched as Harry struggled to his feet. He opened his mouth to speak, but Snape held up a hand.

'Potter. You did well, but you lack endurance and you have a weakness against unexpected probes and probes for unexpected subjects. Nevertheless this is a marked improvement over last time. Next time we will work on dealing with unexpected attack. I imagine endurance will come with practice.

'You might consider this. You do not yet seem to have arrived at the correct technique for blocking access to your mind, which is why you have to spend so much energy defending yourself. When you find the correct technique, you will find much less energy is required even when deflecting a full-power probe.'

'Thank you, Professor.'

'And Potter... your work on the security warding of your letter to me was impressive. I look forward to discussing improvements to your technique once we have the urgent matter of Occlumency taken care of. Your progress this evening leads me to hope that it will not be as long as I feared.'

'Thank you, sir.'

'Very well, I will be going now.'

'Professor?'

'Yes, Potter?'

'The inner ward will restore your disillusionment charm as you pass through it.'

Snape turned to regards Harry with raised eyebrows. 'Indeed? Thank you for informing me.'

Harry watched as Snape mounted his broom and sailed through the window. As he neared it, he disappeared once again. Harry sank limply into his chair. 'Ungh,' he grunted tiredly.

Tonks wandered over, smiling kindly at him. 'You look tired, but you should bathe before bed or you'll be one big knot tomorrow morning,' she said. Harry looked up at her with tired eyes that silently conveyed the message that he was long past caring. She reached out and took his hands. Leaning back, she pulled him to his feet and she draped one of his arms over her shoulders. Supporting him around the waist, she said, 'Come on, big boy, I'll wash your back.'

* * *

'So, how did it go, Severus?' asked Dumbledore as the two men sat in front of the Headmaster's fire. Something was different about the younger man. He seemed bemused.

'The boy has made impressive progress. I maintain my insistence that calming meditation is not the correct technique to use to block Legilimency, but somehow Potter managed to thrust enough raw power into his meditation, if you can imagine such a thing, to deflect all but the sharpest and most unexpected probes. Unfortunately, he tired quickly, but I gave him positive feedback as you suggested. I find myself hopeful that he will have improved further by our next session.'

'Excellent! If we are extremely lucky, the pressure of Occlumency will force him to develop his centring and his mage senses.'

Snape shook his head with a sigh. 'Always the one for multi-layered plans, Albus?' Dumbledore smiled benignly. 'Well I have some news for you that may alter them. I found out something surprising about Potter this evening, something unexpected.'

There was a brief pause. 'Oh? What?' asked Dumbledore at length.

'It is not unlikely that Potter is a Maker.'

Another pause, then, 'I admit I was aware of the possibility but had not thought that the matter would be tested for over a year yet.'

'It seems that Tonks taught him to conjure and it was he, not her, who is responsible for that great barn of an attic that they are living in. According to what I gleaned near the end of our session, when he was tired, Miss Tonks only told him what to do and set up practice objects for him. He did all the actual work. So he has had ample practice at conjuring.

'He conjured a pair of chairs for us to sit in during our session. I touched one. It was absolutely steady, with no residual magic at all. There was none of the leakage of magic that would eventually have caused the chairs to weaken and evaporate.'

'Really,' said Dumbledore. 'Well, it would appear you have the right of it, Severus. Still, I don't see any need to share this with Mr Potter. He already knows what he can do, and telling him that something is supposed to be difficult and that he's not supposed to be able to do it will merely ensure that he does not even try. And he would not appreciate knowing that he is special in yet another way.

'I believe the correct approach with Mr Potter's training is to tell him the technique and then let him do it. For example, note his use of meditation techniques for Occlumency. He does not know it is not supposed to be possible, so he goes ahead and does it anyway. I believe I'll instruct the staff that we will have no more references to the difficulty of advanced magic - we may be handicapping more students than Mr Potter by telling them they are not expected to be able to do this or that.

'Hopefully, prolonged exposure to Nymphadora will cause Harry to rejoice in being different, not cringe away from it as he has been. Until then, we need to be careful not to stunt his growth.'

'I simply told him that the proper technique would not consume so much energy.'

'Excellent, Severus, excellent! It will be interesting to see what happens next week.'