by Olafr (olafr@iinet.inet.au)
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and associated milieu, characters, and situations are owned by J.K. Rowling and her licensees. This is a work of fan fiction, produced solely for enjoyment. No infringement of rights is intended.
Rating: R (language)
Last updated: 2 April 2004. Second draft - not yet beta'd, minor revisions only.
Author's Notes: Due to plot revisions made in post-beta versions of Chapters 1-3, Harry and Hermione are not boyfriend and girlfriend at this point. Corresponding revisions have also been made to chapters 4 and 5.
At long, long last, here it is. This is the first half of what was originally intended to be Chapter 6. I've been having problems writing this (no duh, it's taken so long to get it out) and it finally grew so large I decided to split it, meaning that Chapter 7 is now half-finished with only the actual birthday scene to go.
6. Facing Sirius
With a sigh, Harry leaned back from the table and lowered his wand. He had spent the last forty minutes trawling his memories of everything to do with Peter Pettigrew, also known as Wormtail. Now the copy-pensieve that sat on the table between himself and Dumbledore had a thin layer of silvery thoughts in the bottom of its bowl, looking almost like jellified threads liquid pearl as they sat, not quite quiescent. He pinched the bridge of his nose between finger and thumb, rubbing briefly.
The girls were not yet back from their shopping. They had left after Harry had deposited his second memory, giggling something about 'essential supplies'. Unsaid was the fact that for the moment, Harry could not really show his face in Diagon Alley.
Taking a deep breath and letting it out in a gust, Harry opened his eyes again and looked upwards. The white plaster ceiling of the private room they currently occupied in the Leaky Cauldron was unadorned except for some massive, dark wooden beams. Looking down again, he saw that Dumbledore was sitting up in his chair, an expression of polite attention on his face. Smiling hopefully, Harry said, 'All done, Professor.'
It was as if he had pressed Dumbledore's 'on' switch. 'Excellent, Harry!' he said, leaning forward. For a long moment, Dumbledore stirred the memories with his wand, his eyes half-closed in concentration. 'Yes, truly excellent, this will do perfectly. Thank you very much.'
Harry blushed. 'You're welcome, Professor.'
Dumbledore smiled benevolently and stood easily. Harry was encouraged to see no sign of frailty in this movements. 'Ah, I almost forgot. Here is your key.' He placed it in Harry's hand. 'I imagine you'll have need of it once Nymphadora teaches you a few disguise charms, eh, Harry?'
'Thank you, sir.'
'Thank you, Harry, for trusting me to keep it safe for you.' He reached down and scooped up the pensieve. A brief charm, and a clear lid covered the top of the pensieve's bowl. Dumbledore slipped it into his robes. 'Well, I must be away. I most certainly look forward to helping you celebrate your birthday tomorrow; thank you for your kind invitation.' His eyes twinkled brightly over his smile.
Nodding and smiling, Harry stood also. He fingered the precious key that gave access to almost all that he owned in the world. 'I'm looking forward to it,' he said ambiguously. Dumbledore's eyes only twinkled more brightly. The Headmaster then turned to Moody.
'Will you be all right here until Nymphadora and Miss Granger return, Alastor?' he asked.
'We'll be fine,' said Moody evenly.
'Good. Well, good bye, Harry; I'll see you tomorrow.' And with that, the Headmaster disappeared with only a soft, deep bluph noise to mark his passing. Harry thought it sounded like a large, soft feather pillow falling. Recalling his reading from Magical Transport, he marvelled at the Headmaster's power and control in Apparition.
'Wow,' he breathed.
Moody looked at him sharply, his magical eye swivelling about as always. 'Been doing some reading about Apparition, have we, Potter?' he asked sternly. Harry nodded.
'Yes, sir,' said Harry with a slightly guilty smile. 'I haven't had a chance to practice, though.'
'Don't try it, Potter, unless I say it's okay. Apparition is one of the few easily-trackable spells, and Boy-Who-Lived or no, the Ministry'd be on you like a ton of bricks if you tried.'
'I know that, sir. The book describes some alternate methods, though, so once I've had a chance to get the basic technique correct, it should be possible to avoid detection with a little work.'
Moody stared at Harry, his expression mixed sternness and apprehension. 'Which book?' he asked urgently.
Harry jerked at Moody's tone. 'It's one of the books Professor Dumbledore lent me, sir. Techniques of Magical Transport and Movement, Their Monitoring, and Control, or something like that. By, err, McGiven, I think.' He closed his eyes for a moment, visualising the title page. 'Yeah, something like that, anyway. It's quite old, I think.'
With a sigh of relief, Moody relaxed. 'For Merlin's sake, Potter, don't let it get about that you've seen that book. It's on the Ministry's controlled list.' He frowned, the scars on his face and missing pieces of flesh resulting in a frightening expression. Harry was well-used to that by now, however, and ignored the scariness of the man's face. After having known Moody, in one form or another, for almost two years, he had become used to translating the man's grimaces and stares.
'Controlled list, sir?'
'That's right. As you already know, that book tells how to bypass the monitoring the Ministry performs on Apparition. Amongst other things.'
Harry frowned. 'Why would it matter if the information was widely known?'
Moody glared at Harry. His magical eye stilled and focussed on Harry, adding to the intensity of his gaze. 'Potter, are you thick? Lots of people aren't good enough to erect anti-Apparition wards strong enough to keep out a determined Apparant, or don't want to use them for convenience's sake. But if anyone could Apparate anywhere, and there was no way of finding out who Apparated in and out of Mrs Nigwhibble's flat and stole her heirloom vases, how would we keep petty theft under control? Or track down a murderer? And you know very well just how dangerous Apparation can be if you don't have your wits about you. That's why it's licensed, so we don't have people dying from blood loss after they leave behind their legs from the knee down! For Merlin's sake, boy, use your head! I know you have a brain. Use it!'
Stunned into silence by Moody's tirade, Harry turned over the verbal torrent in his head. As he thought it over, he frowned. 'But sir, what about privacy? And, um, how do we know we can trust the Ministry not to use this... um, I mean, if the Ministry is corrupted... or individuals... then... um...' He ground to a halt under Moody's expressionless stare.
He was astonished to see him crack into a broad grin, the blue magic eye resuming its normal randomness. 'Quis custodiet ipsos custodes, eh, Potter? Who will guard the guardians... a very good question, boy, a very good question indeed.' The old man then sighed, seeming to deflate a little. 'Maybe we can discuss it over a firewhisky once you come of age, Potter. It's not a question to discuss stone cold sober.'
Not sure how to respond, Harry floundered silently. Finally he said weakly, 'I look forward to it, sir.'
Moody grunted. 'Hmph. So, what else did Dumbledore lend you, Potter? No, wait, don't answer that, it's better if I don't know.' He grinned ferally. 'Never ask a question you don't want to know the answer to, Potter.' His expression became glum again, and he continued, 'Theoretically I should Obliviate the knowledge of McGiven's book from you, but I trust Dumbledore, I trust you, and most importantly of all I'm no longer an active Auror, so I won't. Just swear to me, boy, that you won't misuse that knowledge, and you won't share it with anyone.'
Harry stared at Moody, wide-eyed. 'I-I swear!' he stuttered in shock. Moody's eyes narrowed.
'Potter, Tonks told me Dumbledore gave you quite a library for the summer. It seems there's more to it than I thought. Do me a favour. You've been doing well with wards and security charms. Learn about oath-taking, stealth, tracking charms, and for Merlin's sake find a way to make Occlumency work for you, for all our sakes.' His eyes flicked to the window and back again. He continued, 'Here they come. I'm going to ask you and Granger to swear proper oaths - I can't see you keeping her away from those books, it'd be like trying to keep an bee from honey, and you're both trustworthy enough. But some of your other friends I'm not so sure about. So before we go to Headquarters tomorrow, we'll do the swearing. I can't let you swear the full oath - you have to be of age for that - but we'll do what we can tomorrow. Look up the Oath of Confidentiality. Got that, Potter?'
Flabbergasted, Harry could only gasp, 'Yes, sir.' Moody nodded and quickly returned to his post by the window, his wand now drawn as footsteps sounded in the hallway. They stopped outside the door. Harry watched in surprised curiosity as a circle of light about the size of a galleon appeared at about hip-height on the door. It glowed puce, then lemon yellow, then flicked green-yellow-green before finishing in royal blue. It lingered for a second then disappeared, and the door opened to reveal a smiling Tonks and Hermione. Hermione carried a shopping bag.
'All's well?' asked Tonks.
Moody nodded. 'Yes. Ready to go?'
Tonks nodded, and the four trouped out of the room back to the floo. Moody did a don't-notice-me charm then erected a timed silence wall around the fireplace, and the four of them floo'd away to Mrs. Figg's house.
* * *
'What's wrong, Harry?'
Harry sat in his favourite wing-back chair, staring at the copy of Magical Transport which sat on the table in front of him. The moment they had returned home, he had dug it out and put it down on the table. He had been now been sitting, staring at it, without break for ten minutes. He blinked and looked up at Hermione. 'I'm sorry, Hermione, I wasn't thinking and now I've got you in trouble.'
With an astonished look Hermione sat in the chair next to Harry's. With a quick motion she twisted it around so that he faced him side-on. She leaned forward. 'What ever do you mean, Harry?'
'It's this book. It's on the Ministry controlled list, and I've started reading it. Moody found out and he's going to ask both of us to swear an Oath of Confidentiality to keep the contents of the book, as well as the fact that we've even heard of it, quiet.' He snorted. 'I know you haven't read it but Moody's assuming you won't be able to resist.'
'The Ministry has a controlled list? That's censorship! What's the book about?'
Harry nodded. 'It is censorship. I don't like it but I think I agree with the need. The book's about magical transport. Apparition, portkeying, the floo system; how to monitor them, wards, detection... how to avoid monitoring.'
Hermione's eyes glittered hungrily for a moment as she thought about the knowledge contained in the book. After a moment, though, her expression became concerned, then resigned. 'Oh,' she said. 'I guess I see.'
'Moody wants us to swear a formal oath tomorrow to keep it confidential. Do you remember a book on that kind of thing? He was really disappointed when I didn't know how to swear.'
After concentrating for a moment, Hermione stepped over to a shelf and withdrew a thin volume. She placed it on top of the other book. 'This is A History of Oaths and Oath-Taking. It's the closest thing I can think of. There's a whole series of books that seem to deal with culture and history.'
Harry's face twisted into a sour expression. 'Binns. Binns and Dumbledore.'
Hermione stared at him for a long moment, confused. 'What about them?' Harry jumped out of his seat and stood, limbs rigid. His eyes flashed.
'Binns should have taught us this stuff in first year instead of blathering on about the eleventy-bloody-seven goblin rebellions of the middle ages! Bloody hell! And Dumbledore, how could he let the subject be taught that way?! Nobody can learn from Binns! Everybody goes to sleep all the time, except for you! Fuck!' Harry kicked a nearby occasional table, sending it skittering with a crash. He leaned forward, eyes blazing and fists clenched in frustration. 'Fuck, fuck, fuck!'
'Harry!' cried Hermione. 'Calm down! And mind your language!' He looked at her, calming in spite of the frustrated anger that surged through his bloodstream and made his knees feel like he had to use them to jump with or else they would pop. 'Sit down and listen,' she urged.
With a snort, Harry made himself sit. He raised his eyebrows at Hermione in invitation to speak.
'I agree. I agree we should have been taught this stuff in first year. But, Harry... I don't think it's entirely Professor Dumbledore's fault. Or even partly, now that I think about it.'
'Huh?'
'You remember the OWL examination. It was three-quarters goblin revolts. In addition to any other aims, Hogwarts has to educate us to pass our OWLs, you know.'
'Well actually I don't, I went to sleep in that exam, but I still think-'
'And that isn't the only bias I've noticed,' she went on in her plummiest tones. 'House elves, goblins, werewolves, giants... everywhere we look we see the human wizards looking down upon or excluding or enslaving those who are different. History, Defence.... We learn the goblin rebellions to teach us to be wary of goblins. House-elves are so thoroughly enslaved that most have no concept of freedom and feel lost without the comforting security of their servitude! Giants are hunted down or confined to reserves, and by the way we're taught about nasty encounters with them, too, and now this new Werewolf Control Act that was passed last year is the beginning of slavery or extermination for werewolves, just you wait. You remember that?' Harry stared at Hermione in admiration as the words tumbled out of her, washing across him like the tide. She stood and began to pace, not slowing her delivery, her diction becoming flatter as her passion increased. 'And what about the Veela? Or other magical creatures, and half-breeds? If they can interbreed with humans, are they not human too? Perhaps not! It depends on who you ask!' She stopped, took a deep breath, and continued in a soft, intense voice, 'History is written by the victors. The history we learn is all about ancient grievances, and teaches us xenophobia.'
'Xenophobia?'
'Fear of that which is foreign. Non-humans. Part-humans. Muggles. Dark magic. Blood magic.' She paused a long, long moment, her eyes narrowed. 'Slytherins.'
As Harry listened to Hermione's increasingly-passionate rant, it occurred to him that perhaps she had a point. A good one. His frustrated anger at Binns and his own lack of knowledge about his new world, his new home, faded as Hermione's points sank into his thoughts. His gaze fell upon the book that Hermione had been found for him.
'Dumbledore selected these books for us,' he said. 'He must have had a reason for each one.' He caught Hermione's eyes. 'There is at least one book here that could result in our Obliviation if the wrong people were to find out we had seen it,' he said as he laid his hand on the cover of Magical Transport. 'How many others are there?' He stopped to swallow. 'Each book is here because he feels we need to know what's inside them.' He smiled as a memory pushed itself forward. 'In the letter he wrote me when he sent these books, he encouraged me to, um, "take full advantage" of them.
Hermione sniffed. 'Well, obviously,' she said. Then she blinked, slowly. 'Obviously,' she repeated thoughtfully. 'Perhaps Dumbledore doesn't have a choice, but he wants us to learn outside the prescribed boundaries.'
Snorting, Harry replied, 'He wants to make sure his weapon is ready for use when the time comes.'
Shaking her head, Hermione chose not to answer Harry. Instead she turned to survey the collection of books. Harry turned with her. There had to be at least two hundred volumes.
'So he wants me to get through all this before school starts,' Harry said weakly. 'In four weeks.' Hermione nodded in agreement, her expression daunted.
'Professor Dumbledore will have to take them back, if only because we won't have anywhere to keep them,' she said. 'How are we going to...?'
Harry shook his head. In the background, the bathroom door closed. 'I don't know. I think we need to ask Professor Dumbledore's advice. We'll be meeting with him tomorrow, so why don't we plan a list of questions we want to discuss? I know a few security charms; maybe Tonks can help us out there. We have to find a way to make sure that nobody listens in.'
'Somebody call my name?' called Tonks from the lounging area. Harry looked over and watched as she put down a book, face-down. Skipping over to the library, she stumbled briefly and ended up face down in Harry's lap. 'You want something, Harry-kins?' she asked, a light blush decorating her face. Hermione cleared her throat and Tonks stood up, untangling herself from Harry.
'We'd like to ask your help,' said Hermione.
'Sure,' said Tonks. She sat in a nearby chair. 'Whatcha want?'
'Do you know any speed reading or learning charms?' asked Harry. Hermione looked a little put out that he had spoken ahead of her but put on an interested expression. Tonks snorted.
'Both charms and potions,' she said cheerily. 'But none that you'd want to use.'
'Why not?' asked Hermione, sounding a little offended that nobody had told her about them before.
'Well, if you want to go into premature senility or, even worse, drive yourself mad with permanent, uncontrollable photographic memory, then be my guest. There have been some tragic losses to the Wizarding world over the years because people got impatient.'
Hermione's face fell but she somehow looked relieved, while Harry looked disappointed. Then Hermione leaned forward and asked, 'What about indexing and categorisation? There must be a way of sorting the information that there is here so that we can quickly identify which books we need to study to solve a problem?'
Tonks shook her head, while Harry got an ah-hah! expression on his face. 'Hermione, most books have an anti-copying charm which prevents magic from being used on the contents. You can enchant magic on the paper but not on the words or the meaning.' At Hermione's surprised stare, he added defensively, 'There's a book here on parchment charms that I read, um, I think it was three weeks ago now. It had some interesting stuff on books and so on in it.'
After a pause, Hermione said, 'So I guess all we can do is study.'
'And hope Dumbledore lets us keep these books during the school year.' He looked over the books once more. 'Boy, I'm sure glad that sixth year is supposed to be a bit easier after OWLs. I wonder if we need to read every book?'
* * *
The jolting of his bed woke Harry. Another, more vigorous roll of the bed somehow felt like Tonks to his sleep-addled mind. He was deliciously warm and comfortable, his nose just slightly cool from the night air. He smiled to himself, wondering a little at Tonks' preference for air that was almost cold while she slept, although the coolness encouraged one to snuggle beneath the warm comfort of the bedcovers at night.
'Wakey, wakey!' carolled Tonks as was her habit. Harry's eyes snapped open to see Hermione sitting on the side of the bed, smiling down at him. Tonks wouldn't finish that little morning ditty in front of Hermione, would she? He steeled himself, waiting, but when nothing followed he turned his head to see Tonks grinning at him from where she lay on top of the covers next to him, on the other side from Hermione.
When still nothing was said, Harry returned her smile. 'Good morning,' he said.
'Happy Birthday, Harry!' said Hermione.
'Harry Birthday, Happy!' said Tonks with a snicker.
Harry smiled weakly. 'Thank you,' he said with a blush.
Tonks reached under the feather duvet and hooked Harry's armpit with her hand. 'Come on, lover boy, come and open your presents.' She got up on her knees and heaved, pulling Harry out of his warm bed. As usual he slept in only his boxers, and he scrambled to make sure they didn't get left behind in Tonks' enthusiasm. But she let him go almost immediately. 'Come on, Hermione,' she said. 'Don't keep us waiting, Harry,' she added in a teasing voice.
After adjusting the temperature to the normal daytime level and dressing in some jeans and a tee-shirt that had been charmed to fit, Harry joined the others in the lounge area in front of the fireplace. Hermione and Tonks sat at opposite ends of the long couch, and Tonks patted the empty leather between the two of them. Harry sat.
'Here, me first,' said Tonks. She took a large, soft-looking present from behind her back and pressed it into Harry's hands.
'You shouldn't have, Nymph,' he said softly but with real gratitude in his voice.
Tonsk frowned. 'I wanted to, Harry.' Her face cleared, and she added happily, 'Go on, open it!'
With a smile, Harry tore the wrapping paper off what proved to be a small stack of clothes: A pair of dark, charcoal grey slacks and two long-sleeved collarless shirts of a cotton-linen blend, one indigo and one an undyed, natural flax colour. He drew in his breath as he held up the indigo shirt. 'Wow, Nymph, thanks ever so much!'
Tonks leaned forward and pulled him into a hug. She kissed him on the cheek and Harry blushed and smiled. 'You're welcome, Harry,' she said sincerely as she released him.
'Now me,' said Hermione brightly. With a tap of her wand she removed the disillusioning curse on a large package which sat on the floor by her feet. Reaching down, she passed it to Harry whose eyes grew wide.
'Hermione..!' he protested.
'Harry...' she replied, warningly. Her expression said, Shut up and just accept my gift to you, don't argue! Harry heard both messages loud and clear.
'Thank you, Hermione,' he said weakly, somewhat overwhelmed. He took the surprisingly heavy box from Hermione and began unwrapping it. Inside, to his total surprise, were a pair of shoes in black leather with leather soles, a double-stitched belt also of black leather, and a large, thick book. He lifted the book and read the title page. Wizarding Tradition, it said. The author was one Charles Larousse. On the fly-leaf opposite, Hermione had inscribed a dedication: To Harry, my best and truest friend. I hope this helps open the door. Love, Hermione. 31/7/96.
Eyes swimming, Harry looked up and gave Hermione a heart-felt smile. 'Thank you very much, Hermione,' he said as he hugged her. Hermione's hands pressed hard into his shoulder blades as she returned the embrace. 'You shouldn't have, but thank you.'
'It's my pleasure, Harry,' she said gently.
After a long moment during which Harry sat back and smiled at the other two, Tonks said, 'So, go on then!'
Harry turned to her in surprise. 'Go and what?'
'Model your clothes! Go on!'
'Yes, Harry, I'd like to see. I hope they fit properly!' added Hermione with a smile.
'You'll need these, too,' said Tonks as she tossed a small, plainly-wrapped package to Harry. 'Go on!'
Harry retreated to his bed area and quickly changed. Inside the extra package were two pairs of black woollen socks, finely knit. Choosing the indigo shirt, he quickly muttered an ironing spell and donned the clothes.
They felt marvellous. The trousers were lined; at first this felt odd to him but he quickly became used to it. The socks felt light on his feet, and the shoes fit perfectly after a brief moment of odd snuggling which he put down to a fit adjustment charm pre-spelled onto the shoes. The shirt fit closely but with enough room for movement, and it felt stiff but soft against his skin. Snapping on the belt, he walked back to the lounge area to be greeted by Tonks' wolf-whistle and Hermione's wide-eyed amazement.
'Wow,' said Hermione. 'You look fantastic, Harry.'
'New glasses and a haircut would finish the look,' said Tonks, grinning. She gestured in a 'come here' way to Harry. 'Come on, lover boy, come and turn around for us.'
Stiff with embarrassment, Harry walked in front of Tonks and Hermione and turned around for them. As he faced them again, he noticed their frankly appraising gazes and could not help but blush. Tonks noticed.
'What are you blushing for, lover boy?' asked Tonks challengingly. 'After I've bathed you, I don't see why you should be embarrassed just standing in front of us?'
Harry's blushed deepened but he gathered his resolve as he often had to when bantering with Tonks. 'I've never stood and been looked over like a piece of meat before, either,' he said with a smile.
'Get used to it, Harry,' shot back Tonks. 'You're growing up, and you look good enough to eat. Doesn't he, Hermione?' She grinned as a blush spread across Hermione's cheekbones.
'Can I change back now?' asked Harry plaintively.
'As long as you promise to wear those clothes to Grimmauld Place.'
With a nod, Harry hurried back to his bed and changed back into his everyday clothes.
'Time for exercises!' called out Tonks.
* * *
Moody arrived at exactly one o'clock, sailing through the wards on his old broom and landing lightly near the edge of the exercise area. Unlike last time, he stepped off his broom.
Harry nudged Tonks as he passed through the wards, and she looked up at him as he stepped towards the kitchen table where the three of them were finishing their lunch. 'Wotcher, Moody,' she said. 'Like a cuppa? Hermione put the kettle on just a minute ago.'
The retired Auror shook his head. 'No thanks. We'll do the oath-taking, then we have to go. We're expected in half an hour.' He turned his head to take in Harry and Hermione. 'Are you ready?'
Both teenagers nodded solemnly and moved to stand in front of Moody, facing each other, while Tonks moved to stand opposite Moody so the four of them stood on the points of a cross. Moody balanced his weight on his good leg, propping himself with his peg leg at a jaunty angle and stood with his arms crossed. Tonks smiled calmly but remained silent.
Harry cleared his throat. He took his wand and raised it in salute before himself. 'In the matter of the existence of the books provided by Professor Dumbledore, their titles, and contents, I swear that the matter will remain in confidence between the four of us, Professor Dumbledore, and those whom he might nominate,' he said with the manner of one reciting an unfamiliar formula. 'Confidare,' he added with a small twist of his wand. The air shimmered subtly for a moment. Hermione repeated his words and movements.
The brief ceremony complete, Moody nodded with a grunt of satisfaction. 'Good,' he said as his magical eye resumed its restless wandering. He nodded to Tonks and moved to sit in the chair at the head of the kitchen table.
'We'd better get ready to go,' said Tonks with a glance at Moody. 'Harry, did you decide whether to stay overnight or not?'
Harry felt cold uncertainty squeeze his heart, and he shrank from Tonks just a little. Hermione stepped over quickly and hugged him, while Tonks took his other side. 'It's okay, Harry,' said Tonks. 'We'll come back here for the night, okay?' The warmth of the sudden embrace and Tonks' reassuring tone of voice pushed aside the momentary silence of his heart, and Harry breathed a sigh of relief.
'I'm sorry,' he said in a small voice, 'I don't mean to be a bother.' At Hermione's concerned expression he shook himself, and stood straight, hugging Hermione a little. 'It's okay, I'm okay now,' he said more positively. 'I do want to go to Siriu- I mean, Grimmauld Place, but... I just can't face the thought of... not yet,' he finished weakly.
'It's okay, Harry,' said Hermione warmly. 'Remember the books I sent you. You have to take little steps, keep going forward a little at a time. Just remember that you've got Tonks and I to support you.'
Harry smiled weakly. 'Thanks, Hermione. I just wish Ron was here, too. I know we've had our differences, but he's my friend too, and... I miss him,' he finished quietly. More cheerfully, he added, 'I hope he's been having a good time in Romania.'
'I miss him too, Harry,' said Hermione a little wistfully. 'He's my friend as well, even if he's annoying.'
Silence stretched for a long moment, but it was a warm silence. Harry felt it and took the warmth into himself. Finally Tonks stepped back from the group embrace. She tripped over the corner of a mat and, with an expression of resigned surprise, fell to the ground with a thud. 'Ow,' she muttered.
Harry snickered and stepped over towards Tonks to help her feet. Cheeks blazing, Tonks kippuped to her feet before he could reach her. Looking behind himself, Harry saw Hermione smiling at the scene and he felt very good, his withdrawal of before now gone.
With all three residents of the attic at 4 Privet Drive washed, groomed, and changed, Moody got up and held out a length of rope. Remembering a spell from his reading of Magical Transport, Harry waved his wand over the rope and muttered a Portkey testing spell under his breath. To his eyes, the rope briefly glowed intensely in a kind of fluorescent baby blue and information placed itself into his head about the destination and activation mode of the portkey.
Moody grinned toothily. 'Learning some caution at last, Potter,' he observed. 'Good to see, good to see.' Harry grinned mirthlessly back at Moody then waited while the other two also took hold of the rope. Then, after a brief incantation following which Harry felt the anti-portkey ward come down, Moody touched his wand to the rope and the four of them disappeared from the attic at 4 Privet Drive.
Harry landed neatly from a portkey for the first time in his memory, only to almost fall forward as Tonks fell hard against his back. Hermione gripped his forearm firmly to support herself but managed not to overbalance.
'Harry! Hermione!'
At the first sound, Harry whirled, whipping out his wand to face the unexpected voice. Standing there was... 'Ron!'
'Ow,' muttered Tonks from the floor where Harry's rapid turn had flung her.
'Hey, mate,' said Ron with a nervous grin, both hands half-raised, his gaze fixed on Harry's wand.
'I thought you were in Romania with Ginny!' Harry accused. He glanced down at Tonks who waved him off and pushed herself to her feet.
Ron glanced at Hermione who was looking at him quizzically. He frowned, feeling somewhat put upon. 'Dumbledore called us back yesterday,' he said tentatively. 'We just got back this morning.' He felt relieved if still somewhat aggrieved when Harry's expression cleared and Hermione started smiling. 'What's wrong?' he challenged. 'Has something happened?'
Hermione shook her head. 'No, not at all. We were just surprised to see you, that's all. We thought you were with Charlie for the whole summer.'
Harry added with an apologetic smile, 'It's great to see you, Ron. Have fun over there?'
The slamming of a door sounded from the stairwell leading down, followed by the rapid thud of footsteps. 'Ron! Are they here yet?' called Ginny's voice from the open doorway that led down the stairs to the kitchen.
With a burst of noise she arrived in the hall and spotted the new arrivals. Without slowing, she barrelled into Harry, grabbing him in a hug. 'Harry!'
'Oof,' grunted Harry as he windmilled his arms, trying not to fall down. Moody gave him a firm shove in the back which restored his balance. 'Hello, Ginny,' he said, laying his hands on her upper arms.
'Come on, you lot, clear the area,' Moody said as he continued to shove, pushing Harry and Ginny down the hallway. Ginny loosened her grip and stepped away from Harry. 'Keep the landing zone clear.'
At those words, Harry and Hermione shared a glance. Harry remembered the portkey landing areas he had seen at the World Cup, which had been roped off. With a new appreciation of some of the issues associated with portkey travel, Harry stepped forward away from Moody's hand and Hermione followed, Ron's sleeve firmly grasped in her fist. Ginny followed.
Hermione asked in a confused voice, 'Why hasn't Mrs Black...?' Harry looked up at the place where the painting normally resided but now there was only clear wall. Shocked, he continued to look around. Also gone were the gruesome row of shrivelled house-elf heads. 'What happened to--?'
Moody stopped herding them along the hallway just outside the dining room. 'Should be safe enough here,' he muttered.
'Mum wants you to come downstairs to the kitchen,' said Ginny.
'Yeah, come on downstairs and we'll play a game of chess,' said Ron. 'There's nothing to do until your party later anyway.'
Harry stiffened and he looked away. Tonks noticed immediately and stepped forward, while Hermione moved over next to Harry and laid a hand on his shoulder. 'You can do it,' she muttered to him encouragingly. Harry nodded but didn't look up.
'Ron, Ginny... I... I've got something I have to do first,' he said at last. 'I'll see you after that, though.' He looked up to see Ron looking almost as though he had been slapped. Ginny looked surprised. He closed his eyes against the lump in his throat that formed at the betrayal in Ron's face and turned to run up the stairs. Hermione gave Ron a scathing look, met Tonks' eyes meaningfully, and followed Harry up the stairs. Tonks moved unobtrusively to block the stairs and Ron bumped against her as he tried to follow.
'What the hell's going on?' asked Ron in frustration when he found that Tonks would not let him past.
Tonks looked up into Ron's eyes, making sure he had his full attention. 'Harry's gone to make his peace with Sirius,' she said solemnly. When she saw that Ron did not understand, she added, 'To say goodbye to his surrogate father.'
'Oh!' exclaimed Ginny. Tonks looked her way and saw tears starting to run from her wide eyes. Her expression was horrified, but it quickly moved to concern. 'Poor Harry,' she said sympathetically. Tonks nodded and turned back to Ron. To her surprise, Ron's indignation had only intensified.
'Let me up there! Harry needs his friends at a time like this!' he said.
She looked at him in surprise, then nodded. She stepped away from the bottom of the staircase looking as though she wanted to say something, but she kept quiet as Ron thundered up the stairs. Closing her eyes, Tonks let out a deep sigh.
'What is it?' asked Ginny. Tonks jerked; she had assumed that Ginny had followed Ron upstairs. She opened her eyes to see Ginny looking at her in concern.
'Huh?' she asked intelligently.
'What didn't you say?' pressed Ginny.
Tonks prevaricated for a moment then gave in. 'Hermione's been preparing Harry for this all summer,' she said seriously. 'She sent him books on psychology and they wrote each other every day. Ron hasn't been part of that, and I worry that he'll upset Harry rather than helping. He's very fragile even though he seems happy and well-adjusted. Coming here is a big step and if Ron's watching then he might hide his feelings rather than letting them out.'
Ginny just stared at Tonks then ran up the stairs after Ron.
* * *
Harry and Hermione stood outside the door to Sirius' bedroom. 'Are you ready?' asked Hermione, her hand on Harry's shoulder.
He nodded. 'Yes.' Determined, he stepped forward and opened the door.
Inside, the room was dark and cool. In the dimness Harry could make out Sirius' large bed against the wall to the right. Two large windows graced the outside window, and between them was a roll-top desk. On the wall opposite the bed was a fireplace. Above the mantle hung a large picture with a gilt frame.
'Torca ignis,' said Harry. The gas lights mounted on the wall of the room and in the small chandelier burst into life. The room was lit gently, the soft glow of the gas lights making it look warm and appealing despite the shabbiness of the ornate Victorian wall paper, the chair's seat upholstery and the bed hangings.
The room was not tidy, Harry now saw. A shirt and some black robes were draped from a hat stand, and trousers were draped over the foot of the bed. Papers were scattered on the desk top, and one drawer stood proud, not fully pushed home.
Harry stepped over to the desk. A dicta-quill stood upright in them middle of the desk over a sheet of parchment. Other papers were scattered over most of the desk-top with more in the pigeon-holes at the back of the desk-top, but one sheet sat alone in a cleared part of the desktop. Reaching forward, Harry pulled it towards him. As he started to read it, he stiffened in shock. It was addressed to him.
Harry,
If you're reading this then I am dead. I'm leaving now for the Ministry; I've heard that you have been lured there by Voldemort, and I've decided that I'm going to ignore Dumbledore and go to help. But before I go, I want to say something I wish I had been able to before.
I love you, Harry, like the son I never had. When you were born and later when I was named your godfather by James and Lily, it was as if you were my son, not James'. I love you, son of my heart.
By that love, please hear me now: Do not mourn me. Celebrate me, and hold me in your heart with love and fondness, not sadness and regret. I will see you soon enough when you, too, pass over into that which lies beyond. I know this, Harry, just as I'm sure that you were lured to the Ministry in defence of somebody that you love.
Find someone to love, live life to the full, have lots of children, and most importantly of all, enjoy your life. Grab it with both hands, make your own decisions, and live your life! Don't allow yourself to drift, Harry. By your love for me, be positive in your life. Share your life with those you love. Love with all your heart. Believe.
I have to go now. I love you, son.
- Sirius
PS: I had better not be seeing you again for a long, long time.
The parchment slipped from his trembling hand as Harry finished reading it. It fluttered to the floor in a long, graceful arc as Harry curled up into a ball by the desk. Hermione watched in horror as a deep, painful sob was ripped from Harry's throat. The paper finally came to a stop in the middle of the room. Torn between going to Harry and reading the letter, Hermione chose the former and stepped over to comfort Harry. Kneeling by him, she put her arms around his shoulders and hugged him.
The bedroom door opened and Ron stepped in followed by Ginny. The pair of them hurried over to where Harry and Hermione knelt on the floor. Ron stopped short, unsure of how to approach the pair, but Ginny knelt on the other side of Harry from Hermione and put a hand on each of their shoulders.
'What's wrong? Are you okay, Harry?' She paused, then added, 'Is there anything I - we - can do to help you?'
'Just leave me alone,' croaked Harry. 'Please.'
'No!' yelled Ginny. She took both his shoulders in her hands, almost wrenching him out of Hermione's grasp. 'Friends don't let friends eat themselves up from the inside. They help each other!' She drew a breath and added, 'Don't push us away, Harry! Please! We love you, and it hurts when you keep us out!'
Harry stared at her for a long moment, then smiled weakly with watery eyes. With one arm he hugged Hermione to himself more strongly; with the other he grabbed Ginny and buried his head in her shoulder.
Ron smiled a genuine smile at the cute scene before him. Seeing Harry hold Ginny to him, he could almost believe that his friend had discovered feelings for his younger sister. He moved his gaze to Hermione, who smiled briefly at him before returning her attention to Harry.
Perhaps he had a change with her, after all.
Looking around, Ron noticed the letter on the floor. He stepped over and picked it up. Reading it, he gasped and read it again.
'He really loved you,' he said at last in a quiet voice. 'I'm glad for you, Harry. Sad that you lost him, but glad for you too.' He swallowed then added, 'At least you had something normal in your life.'
Harry looked up at Ron in astonishment. His eyes searched Ron's face, then he smiled weakly. 'Thanks, Ron,' he said. 'You're right.'