A/N: thanks to Lynney who was my substitute Beta for this chapter!
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Colorful Conversation
"So, what do you think? Can men and women can just be friends?"
"Hmm? What?" Harry's eyes popped open, realizing it was Hermione's voice and the movie they'd been watching was over.
"You fell asleep? It was a great movie!" Hermione reprimanded and smacked him in the arm as she stood up to remove the tape.
"Ow!" Harry frowned at her and rubbed his upper arm struggling to sit up a bit straighter. "You insisted on watching the credits. That's when you lost me." He readjusted his glasses and turned to her offering his full attention.
"The people that worked on that movie, any movie should be commended, so I watch them. And they were funny!" Hermione defended settling herself on the opposite side of the sofa.
"Okay, okay. Sorry. Now…what did you ask me again?"
Hermione repeated her question and Harry mentally kicked himself for agreeing to watch "When Harry Met Sally". He should've seen this question coming, then he could've prepared himself for the conversation that would ensue. Or feigned illness and disapparated home quickly.
"I would like to think so," Harry answered slowly in a questioning voice, knowing that it wasn't the right answer by the way she looked at him. "What? You know I'm rubbish at these kinds of conversations. I was friends with Luna during school and the sex thing, as Billy Crystal's character describes-."
"That'd be Harry, Harry," Hermione joked, smiling a bit as he avoided saying the name of the lead character.
"I know, Hermione. Anyway…I think it can be done."
"Really?"
"Yes…we've been friends for almost ten years like you said…and none of that stuff has happened to us." Harry managed to stay still on the sofa, not wanting to fidget and give away his lack of comfort in being part of this conversation.
"So, you can honestly say you've never thought about me in any romantic way; or Luna in that way either?" Hermione questioned trying not to giggle at the expression on Harry's face.
`Shit! Nothing good can come of this conversation…damn!'
"Do I have to answer that? What about me posing the question back to you?"
"I'll answer; then you still have to answer, Harry. And yes, I've thought about it."
"What?" The conversation had turned around so fast Harry didn't know what to say. "You have?" Harry stared at her and wondered how she could not be embarrassed; he certainly was. "You must've talked to Ginny…after…well…my birthday, then."
"Of course I did; that's something you do share with your best friend. I know Ron probably told you
about the first time we had sex, even though he swore he wouldn't, I knew he would. Sweet of him to say he
wouldn't…but Ginny wasn't the reason, for me to think about you in that way, anyway."
That piqued Harry's interest. Only now, of course, the thought of sex and Hermione was embedded into his brain. He COULD NOT BELIEVE he was having this conversation with her and as much as he didn't want to ask, he really wanted to know when she had thought about it. `Any boy, man, would want to know,' he rationalized.
"Okay, Hermione…don't make me ask," Harry leaned back waiting, drumming his fingers against the back of her maroon sofa.
"Seventh year, Christmas," she said, as firmly as if telling someone the way to perform a summoning charm.
"Why?"
Hermione shrugged and looked down at her hand, picking at her nail. "You were so tired, so down about trying to find the wand horcrux that disappeared I was wondering what Ron and I could do to make you feel better. We were discussing it one night while you were here, in the shower, and he said, jokingly, I should just go up and snog you. It was all a joke, mind you. That it would probably lead to something else and that would make you feel better. I think I hit him, pretty hard because at that point I was more interested in him. Having him say that to me just wasn't something I wanted to hear."
"Uh-huh," was Harry's stunned reply. "I'm glad you didn't…then…because I knew Ron fancied you. Just took forever for the two of you to get together and that would've thrown a wrench into things."
"So, by that you mean you would've returned…the affection?" Hermione glanced at him stealthily, surprised by her own boldness in continuing with this line of conversation. She could feel that he was uncomfortable talking about it, and now that she had actually put the thought out there so was she. Still, as she had never had this conversation with him before, she figured that it would be a learning experience if it continued.
"Ummm…I honestly can say I have no idea what I would've done. I'd like to think I would've done the gentlemanly thing and not gone there, seeing as you two would end up an item four months later."
"Fair enough…so answer your end now."
Harry sighed and felt his heart start beating painfully against his ribs. He really should not be having this conversation, not with his best friend…a woman.
Woman.
That word and thought struck him hard. He always viewed them as equals in certain ways, never bringing the subject of their gender into their tight relationship. Now, she was and he was scared it was going to change everything.
He began to try and verbalize his thoughts slowly, not looking in her direction; suddenly, finding her overflowing book shelf more interesting.
"Umm…well, honestly, I never thought about that until until this moment. And, only because we're talking about it." She saw Harry look down and blush while reaching up to fiddle with his glasses like he always did when he was nervous or uncomfortable about something.
"Can I go back to sleep now?" Harry muttered stretching out on Hermione's sofa and closing his eyes so he didn't have to look at her. He heard her sigh in reply, knowing that the conversation was over. Now that the image of Hermione was in his mind, he found himself trying to imagine himself kissing her. Astonished that a picture came easily to his mind, he found he couldn't look at her without now thinking highly inappropriate thoughts, as she was just his friend.
`Damn that movie,' Harry thought hearing Hermione open a book and feeling her stretch her legs out next to his as she went about reading. He felt himself relax but as he began drifting off, Hermione poked him in the leg.
"What?" he mumbled keeping his eyes closed and his arms crossed over his chest.
"I'm going to bed…you should get going. Or you can sleep on the couch if you like."
Harry vaguely heard himself murmur something about being too tired to apparate anywhere. He had tried apparating to The Burrow from his place one time while after running on only a few hours of sleep and ended up missing it by almost a mile and in the town below.
"Your floo is closed?" Hermione questioned, knowing the answer was yes already. He always closed it on the weekends since he only floo'd to and from school during the week. Harry nodded and dimly felt Hermione stand up and place a blanket over him.
"'Night then," she whispered brushing her lips across his forehead, pausing on his faded scar. Harry managed a nod before the thick velvety feeling of sleep overtook him.
---
Harry awoke with a start and had that panicky feeling that told him he didn't know where he was. Sitting up he recognized the soft, Gryffindor blanket that had been laid on top of him and he took a few deep breaths, slowly calming himself. Clearly, it was the urge to use the loo that woke him up and softly he crept softly down through the kitchen towards the one bathroom in her flat. Hermione's bedroom was just down the hall so he shut the door and noticed a small nightlight was magically glowing on top of the sink.
What he didn't notice was the new hall table she had bought. He'd managed to avoid it without evening seeing it on his way in, but as he tried to negotiate the left turn back to the living room he cracked his shin against it, yelling out before he could register that Hermione was still asleep.
Hermione flew out of the bedroom and skidded to a stop in front of him, hand on his arm.
"What? What's wrong?" her voice wavered with fear, still not fully awake, but knowing that Harry had just yelled in pain.
"Nothing…I just cracked my leg on that blasted table," he ground out through clenched teeth. "I'm
sorry-."
"Come on. Come sit and let me see," Hermione led him slowly to her bedroom and her light turned on with a wave of her wand. Lowering himself onto the edge of her bed that was still made he pulled up his pant leg to reveal an already bruised and swelling knee.
"I have some cream that will stop the swelling and a Bruise Vanishing Cream too. Just sit tight." She stood up and walked back towards the bathroom. He could hear her opening drawers against the wall that sided up to the bedroom and wondered if she was mad at him for abruptly waking her up at…his gaze roamed her room and found a clock on the other side of the bed…three in the morning? He looked up as she walked in and noticed she was clad in a short sleeve shirt and shorts nightgown set. Her long hair was braided down her back, something he hadn't seen since their seventh year at school.
"I'm sorry," Harry frowned as he lifted his leg up onto the bed.
"It's okay. I shouldn't have put that table there, because it is a bit too big. But I liked it because my new collection of books fit perfectly on it so, I had to have it." Hermione bent over his leg and carefully felt around the bruise, gently holding his leg as he flinched. Harry leaned back against the pillow and felt her rub the cream in carefully starting with the outer edge and working in with her thumbs. It actually felt good; so good he wondered if there was a numbing cream mixed in with it.
"Doesn't hurt at all," he mumbled as Hermione paused and squeezed some Bruise Vanishing Cream into her hand.
"Bit of numbing cream in there. Nasty bruise Harry…I'm so sorry. I should've warned you about that table." She ran her palm up above his knee causing Harry's eyes to fly open wondering why she was moving up his leg.
"What're you doing?" he questioned lifting up his head and instinctively knowing that Hermione rubbing his leg shouldn't feel that good.
"I need to spread this cream beyond the bruise too, so hold still."
"I can do that you know," Harry tried to sit up but she glared at him. Realizing that meant he wasn't going to win that part of the argument he sat back thinking of the exams he had to grade yet. Anything to get his mind off of her hands massaging his knee and thigh. Harry let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding when she finally stood up, declaring she was done.
"Keep your pant leg pulled up for a few minutes," Hermione told him from the hallway. "And stay off it. Just lay back and sleep. I'll go to the sofa."
"No." Harry surprised himself with how awake he was at that moment. "It's your bed, I'll move."
"Stay." Hermione walked in and sat next to him on her side and his eyes fell to the buttons on her shirt. He squinted at the pattern on her pajamas and couldn't help the smile that broke across his face.
"What's so funny?" Hermione demanded leaning towards him.
"You have broomsticks on your…pajamas. And you won't even fly!" Harry grinned as he grabbed her hand in time to stop her from smacking his arm.
"They were on sale...and they're comfortable. I don't really care what I sleep in," she told him. She
tried to pull her arm away but he held tight.
"I'm pretty sure I wore my broomstick boxers today," Harry grinned as Hermione gaped at him. "We match you know."
Her eyes widened at his unexpected comment, causing Harry to break into a full smile; happy he had stunned her into silence for a change.
"Did you hit your head too?" Hermione asked seriously, feeling his grip loosen on her arm and the warmth of his touch fading away.
"Nope. At least I don't remember if I did." Harry pushed himself up only to find a hand on his chest pushing him back down.
"Stay. Here."
"I'm not making you sleep on the sofa." Harry saw she wasn't going to let him move and gave in, setting his glasses on the nightstand next to her bed. "You stay here too, then. I'll be a perfect gentleman. Promise."
"No more pajama comments?" Hermione asked pointedly as she dimmed the lights and crawled under the covers.
"No…and why is it so warm in here?" Harry asked suddenly realizing that he had been a lot cooler out in the living room.
"I'm always cold, so I cast a warming charm in here until July or so."
"Get warmer pajamas," Harry said.
"Harry! You promised no more pajama comments!"
He sat up and stared down at her. "I was just giving you practical advice," he told her as he pulled off his long sleeve shirt. She sighed and Harry interjected before she could say anything, "Thanks for taking care of my leg." He felt her smile at his gratitude and their little spat was over.
"Sure. Now, go to sleep." Hermione turned onto her side with her back to him and wiggled until the covers came up to her shoulders. Carefully Harry lay back down and settled his head back against the pillow, feeling sleep come over him once again.
What felt like only minutes later, Harry felt gentle fingers running over his knee, down his shin then back up towards his thigh. Softer, then harder they pressed and it felt so wonderful a small sigh escaped him.
"I'm sorry, did that hurt?"
Harry's eyes snapped open and he jerked his head off the pillow.
Hermione. Sitting towards the bottom of the bed holding his leg. Letting his head fall back onto the pillow he managed a "No" and felt grateful for the blanket that was covering his torso and other leg.
She needed to stop touching him, soon, or he was going to be very embarrassed.
"Fine. Doesn't hurt," he gasped and pulled his leg away from her touch, glancing at the now faded bruise. He pulled his jeans down and left his leg bent at the knee, foot flat on the mattress. "Thanks Hermione. What time is it?" Harry turned but couldn't see the clock. Stretching out his arm to flatten her pillow he saw it was almost seven, a very blurry seven and some other numbers he couldn't make out.
"Early still." Harry closed his eyes thinking another hour of sleep would do wonders for his stiff knee.
"I had to get a drink and thought I could check while you were still sleeping. Thinking if it hurt you wouldn't know."
"Noooo, it doesn't hurt," Harry felt her flop down beside him, his arm now stuck under her neck. Mentally he sighed and admitted to himself that the "sex thing" was now officallyout there. `Bloody movie', Harry thought to himself. His hand slipped to her arm as she turned towards him, her knees touching his unhurt leg.
"The cream worked great; your bruise and the swelling have gone down," Hermione told him quietly, her hands unconsciously fiddling with the button on her shirt. Harry gave her a one armed hug, effectively pulling her towards him then relaxing.
"It feels just about normal. I'm sorry I woke you up with my clumsiness." Harry looked down at his feet as Crookshanks hopped up, surveyed the two of them and then proceeded to curl up at their feet.
"Harry, stop apologizing. As long as you're okay," Hermione tilted her head back to look at him, "Just don't sue me or anything."
Harry smiled down at her. "I wouldn't want all those books which is probably all I'd get anyway." Harry laughed as she held up a finger indicating for him to stop his comment right there. Reaching between them he grabbed her hand and poked her getting a shriek in his ear. His hands skittered up her sides, pushing hers away from him, surprised at how strong she was. After getting his feet attacked by Crookshanks he captured Hermione's hands, pushed her arms down to her stomach and straddled her.
"You," he gasped trying to catch his breath from the laughing and shrieking that signaled the start and end of their tickling fight. Managing to maneuver her wrists into one of his hands, he sat back, appraising her with a smile on his face.
"Give up?" Harry teased, waiting as she caught her breath. She tried to move her arms but he held tight.
"No, I'm just gathering strength for the next fight," she retorted trying to move her legs. Harry clamped his thighs around them and heard a sharp intake of breath. Suddenly, a chain of events happened that he couldn't explain or rationalize no matter how hard he tried later on that day.
His eyes flicked downward and for the first time saw how Hermione's shirt was riding up, revealing her abdomen, belly button and all. Moving his hand off his thigh he couldn't help but to reach down and touch her stomach. Feeling her flinch he raised his eyes to hers, and even though it was blurry he could still see she was staring right at him.
"Ticklish?" he whispered letting his fingers rest above the elastic of her shorts.
"No," she whispered back, suddenly still. Slowly, he spread his fingers out splaying them over her stomach and felt her warm skin quiver under his hand. Her hands suddenly relaxed in his and he felt a feather light touch on the top of his hand. Her fingers had slipped free and he actually felt she was telling him what he was doing was permissable.
Who knew he'd be enthralled by such a small patch of skin? Boldly, he slid his hand up a fraction of an inch and at the same time released her other wrist, letting his other hand rest near her hip.
"You aren't ticklish here?" Harry asked quietly briefly wondering why in the world he was doing this. Placing gentle pressure below her rib cage caused her to suck in her breath, and her fingers curled into a fist. She stared wonderingly up at Harry.
"No…not…ticklish." Hermione's hands relaxed and seem to move in slow motion. He watched her touch his knee and when he didn't stop her she moved on. Hesitantly she slid one hand up his thigh and stopped mid way. Every nerve in his body was firing off all the wrong signals in response to Hermione's touch. SHE should not be able to render him speechless and cause him to become quite disconcerted. He shifted his body slightly, resting most of his weight on his uninjured side and felt Hermione's hand press into his leg.
"Harry?" Hermione's voice reached his ears, but it didn't sound like her at all. So much meaning, it almost sounded sensual to his ears; his mind reeled over what they were doing. The breathlessness that came through clued Harry into the fact that Hermione was indeed feeling something too.
A shriek filled the air and both of them leapt up, knocking into each other as Crookshanks suddenly tore out of Hermione's room, fear-fluffed tail disappearing around the door jam.
"What the hell?" Hermione gasped still holding Harry's arm. He shook his head.
"Something spooked him. Or he doesn't like me...touching you." Harry took the moment to turn away, and reach for his glasses.
"He got spooked by something," Hermione said quietly crossing her arms across her chest. They met each others gaze and Harry knew he had to leave and go back to his house. Now. Right now.
"Thanks for the movie, and for fixing me up."
"Not a problem," Hermione smiled shyly then dropped her eyes. "Time to get up now I suppose."
"I'm going to head home, get dressed and grade those exams. I'll talk to you later, alright?" He couldn't even look at her, feeling a mixture of embarrassment and wonder at where he had just touched her and the way she had said his name. Questioning softly; her tone not unwilling or angry but it had shot to his very core and made him feel almost bewitched.
"Alright," Hermione followed him as he grabbed his shirt off her chair and walked out her bedroom door, feeling her presence a few feet behind him. With a small wave, he disapparated from her kitchen.
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Minutes earlier, Draco and Ginny had floated into Hermione's flat. Ron stayed behind, having too much fun watching his older twin brothers concoct a new candy. Ginny had said he was free to move onto the next world since he felt Hermione was able to carry on with her life, but, he'd told her he was waiting for Ginny to go with him. Ginny also believed that he really wanted to see Harry and make sure he was doing alright. They had been like brothers and that bond never breaks.
Draco glanced at Ginny as she watched Harry flip Hermione over after a bout of tickling.
"So, this doesn't bother you?" Draco waved his hand towards the couple on the bed.
Ginny shrugged. "I wish it could still be me, but it can't. So, if it's Hermione he needs to make him happy then so be it. He still doesn't know what he wants."
Draco lounged againt the wall looking every bit like the GQ model in this month's magazine, but a few shades paler. She got the feeling he was studying her; waiting for her to say something more about how she felt, but she found that nothing else summed up her feelings any better than her original answer.
Ginny watched Hermione suddenly go still and with a tilt of her head, she could see Harry touching Hermione's stomach. For a moment, Ginny actually did feel something…not jealousy exactly, but a remembrance of what it was like to be held and loved by Harry. She let out an involuntary sigh. Crookshanks' head popped up and swiveled looked in her direction. He let out a yowl of recognition and tore out of the room. Startled and disbelieving, Ginny moved back, coming up against Draco. He put a hand up to her shoulder steadying her, purely out of habit. As a being of the Light, even if she fell, she wouldn't hurt herself.
Spinning around after the cat Ginny caught Draco's steady, knowing gaze.
"What'd you do? That cat sure didn't seem to see you until just now." Draco's hand dug into her shoulder holding her back. Ginny could actually feel the pressure of his fingers and moved her shoulder trying to dislodge his hand.
"I…I don't know. A memory I guess…missing that part of what it was like to be human?" Ginny didn't move to follow Harry and Hermione out into the hall, still a bit unnerved at actually feeling something, since it had been a good ten months since she had her last outburst of emotion. She remembered the day she was watching Harry, over at Bill and Fleur's, holding her four month old nephew… how Baby Will had smiled and looked right at her, over Harry's shoulder. Becoming more aware of Draco's hand on her shoulder she looked down at it, then up at him. Smirking, he removed his hand and clasped them behind his back.
"What now?"
"Time to go visit your mother; see if you can figure out what you need to do to move on."
"Why don't you just "move on""? Draco asked following her out through Hermione's bedroom wall, through the flat next door and out into the morning sunlight.
"Harry hasn't fully let go of me yet. When he does and I'm sure he's happy and ready to move on, then I am gone."
"You still care in other words. I thought being part of this…Light…for the past year made you impervious to caring or loving or feeling."
Ginny stopped under a tree and waited for Draco to turn around once he realized she wasn't next to him.
"Not impervious. I can control my emotions a hundred times better; it's just something that happens when you move from human to Light. I could choose to become a Ghost if I want to, but I really don't fancy everyone being able to see me and be reminded about me. So, after this I plan on going to the next great adventure. Ron too." Ginny was amazed he didn't interrupt her once during her explanation and she fell silent seeing him think about what she just said.
"So…once Potter is happy, with or without Granger, you'll move on. And he has to let go of you one hundred percent?"
"Well, you never fully let go of the ones you love. Harry loved Sirius and never forgot or fully let go of him. He still lives in Grimauld to feel like he is a bit closer. He has some of his things in the attic. Once its obvious Harry has moved on, then I will feel that I can move on as well. I don't expect you to understand it. Ron wanted to make sure Hermione was okay and now he is just waiting for me. Just a bit scared to go on by himself I guess." Ginny actually gave a small smile. Draco responded with a nod showing he understood or at least pretended to comprehend what she had just thrown at him.
"Come on, my name should be in the paper today. Better go see how my mother is doing."
Draco turned; walking and floating all at once down the sidewalk with Ginny on his heels. Neither was even remotely
aware that at that moment both Harry at Grimauld and Hermione at her flat in Hogsmeade, were just about to read the
news of Draco's suicide in The Daily Prophet.
---
Harry actually felt a pang of sadness reading the obituary for Draco L. Malfoy; his seventh year picture gracing the front page of the Prophet. He was one of the few people Harry could count on to make his life hell in the past. Banishing him to Malfoy Manor apparently hadn't been a reprieve for Draco. He had only another three years to go before he was free to live again. Presumably, he couldn't take the seclusion, lack of social interaction and took his own life by swallowing some complicated Potion that Harry had never heard of.
Hedwig and an overseas owl appeared at his window. Gently pulling them from the two owls beaks and giving them a treat he returned to his kitchen table and looked at them.
One from Hermione, one from Neville and one from Bill Weasley.
Inside, they all asked if he had heard the news about Draco Malfoy.
Writing three identical notes back, he replied he had and sent Hedwig and the overseas bowl back to the places they had just come from.
He wondered if he could blame himself for sending Malfoy to an early grave. After all, it was him that found Draco's hiding place in the mountains, with the Giants that had sided with Voldemort. Using Harry's invisibility cloak the three of them had managed to sneak in and perform the stupefy curse on Draco before Snape was aware they had arrived. He and Draco were there alone; the Giants having followed Voldemort to the other side of the mountains, trying to find more trolls and Inferi to join his army.
After a long, intense battle between Snape, Hermione, Ron and Harry, the trio actually triumphed after a Pertificus Totalus and a Stupefy spell connected from Harry and Hermione's wands. Taken by surprise at the intensity of the spell, Professor Snape tumbled backwards down the steep bank, where he struck his head on the rocks below. None of them being healers, they couldn't (or was it wouldn't?) do much and he died an uneventful, quick death.
Now, Draco was dead too.
Harry read through the article wondering what finally sent Draco over the edge. Not sure if he wanted to keep the article, he folded the paper and stuck it in his desk drawer. The thought of Ginny running into Draco wherever the dead happened to be, caused a slight smile to grace his lips. He would pay many galleons to see those two interact on that level.
As he walked upstairs, pulling off his shirt on the way, he tried turning his thoughts to something that was positive.
As he flicked his wand at the shower, adjusting the spray to a comfortable temperature he thought of Hermione. Nope. The image of himself straddling her and still not clear as to what led him to touch her stomach, and the feelings she invoked in him, still had him confused.
Ginny…well, there were good thoughts and wonderful feelings there but it made him sad to think about her at the moment.
Ron…his one and only best friend, gone. `No, not helping me to feel better'! Harry thought stepping into the shower.
Shifting mental gears he thought about the summer job he would be doing with Headmistress McGonagall through the month of July. Updating the wards around Hogwarts…not very exciting but it gave him something to do and he would learn something new. He would learn the most powerful charms; ones Dumbledore cast himself to ensure the safety of Hogwarts and its students.
That thought managed to bring Harry back to from the worst of his dark mood and in record time he finished his shower and was in his den, grading the last of his sixth year exams. He actually turned around the picture of him, Ron, Ginny and Hermione that graced the corner of his desk. He found that as he tried to grade papers his eyes would stray to the picture taken outside The Burrow. And instead of his eyes falling upon Ginny who was striking a glamour pose next to him, they strayed to Hermione who was smiling and waving from her position next to Ron.
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