Klamagi

I updated just a tad early today. I'm just really bored :-(

- - -

Harry and Hermione managed to dress themselves in record time and successfully guide Ron into his tux and to the grounds of Hogwarts, where the ceremony was being held. The sun was out, not too bright, and the sky was a clear blue save for a few non-threatening white fluffy clouds. Two hundred seats were organized facing away from the massive front doors of Hogwarts with a gold and blue carpet dividing the seats into two sections. In front of the seats was a large white wedding arch, under which Ron Weasley and Luna Lovegood would become husband and wife. The flowers, the carnations expertly transfigured into white roses, looked even more gorgeous than the real thing. Hermione could not deny Ginny and Neville's impressive spell work.

“RONALD WEASLEY!” Mrs. Weasley's voice screeched from the castle.

“Coming, Mum!” Ron shot his friends a terrified look before running off. Harry and Hermione laughed to themselves.

“This is all so beautiful.” Hermione whispered taking a single rose in her hand and sauntering underneath the wedding arch.

“Yeah…I hope mine turns out as good as this.” Harry agreed, walking to her side and touching the wooden arch. It was handmade by Neville himself, and made especially for Ron and Luna's wedding. Their initials were intricately carved in the side so that they could keep the arch as a memento.

“So you do think about marriage sometimes!” Hermione smiled.

“I guess so. A little.”

“That's good.”

“Yeah.”

They stood next to each other for a moment longer before they realized that they were standing side by side underneath a wedding arch, Harry in a tuxedo and Hermione in an elegant dress. They shot apart, neither really knowing why.

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH!” Ron's little niece Gina suddenly ran screaming past, her brother Neil in hot pursuit, holding what looked suspiciously like a spatula caked with…cake.

“Harry?”

“Yes?”

“Was Ron and Luna's cake chocolate with strawberry layers?”

“I think so, yeah.” Harry replied, then froze when he saw that the spatula little Neil was chasing Gina with was covered with Ron and Luna's wedding cake.

“Crap!” Harry groaned and he ran after Neil, who was running after Gina, who seemed to be running just for the sake of running. Hermione didn't even bother to hide the laughter as Gina ducked under a reception table, Neil followed, and Harry ended up crashing into the table edge headfirst.

“Harry!” Hermione ran up and lifted Harry's bangs. “Looks like you've got a matching pair now.”

“Get them!”

The two of them ran after the youngsters. Naturally Harry, an amateur athlete and man who was not wearing clean white heels, managed to snatch Neil first, who was giggling like mad. When Gina discovered the chase was over, she too collapsed into giggles. Hermione laughed as well, watching Harry handle the children so well.

“Why are you chasing your sister?” Harry demanded of the boy.

“Coz she runnin'!”

Hermione looked to Gina. “Why were you running?”

“He chasin' me!”

Neil squirmed away from Harry and Hermione couldn't help but snigger as Neil spread some cake over Harry's nose.

“Cakeface!” Neil shrieked and ran, dropping the spatula. Gina ran over, grabbed the spatula and swiftly slapped it against the back of Harry's pants.

“CAKEBUM!” she squealed and Neil howled. Then, as if someone had flicked the “off” switch, the two of them skipped off like little angels to where Hermione suspected their parents, Fred and Angelina, were chatting with other guests. Hermione offered a helping hand to Harry, shaking her head.

“Those two are just like their dad.”

Harry nodded and took her hand, taking a moment to enjoy its softness. He looked and saw Hermione smiling down at him, and he barely realized something had slid off her wrist and onto his.

“That's a nice bracelet.” Harry noticed for the first time a simple gold-colored band that had bee around her wrist. He replaced it on its rightful spot around her creamy skin.

“Oh, that's just a cheap friendship bracelet.” Hermione explained. “Ginny and I got them together at a make-your-own-jewelry stand in Diagon Alley. I don't really own much jewelry so I figured this was as good as anything else I had.”

“Well, it's nice.” Harry said sincerely. At least on her wrist, it was. “How come we never got friendship bracelets? Me, You, and Ron.”

Hermione shrugged. “Because you two are dirty boys.”

Harry laughed. “Are we, now?”

“You're going to need to clean off your bum.” Hermione said. Harry chuckled.

“Any volunteers?”

Hermione made a face. “Get up, Potter.”

Harry took her outstretched hand again, but instead of hoisting himself up he pulled her down with him onto the grass.

“HARRY!” Hermione cried. “I'm in my dress!”

“Oh, you needed to lighten up a bit anyway...“ Harry paused a moment to lick some of the brown and pink icing off the tip of his finger.

“Lighten up?! Okay this was funny but we've already accidentally sabotaged the flowers, burned the minister's tongue, and ruined the best man's pants! There is absolutely nothing - “

Hermione's mouth dropped open as Harry wavered for a moment before falling face first onto the freshly manicured grass.

- - -

“HARRY!?” Hermione yelped. She frantically grabbed Harry's wrist, not daring to take a breath. A pulse, thank Merlin. Trying not to panic, she bent low and examined his forehead and neck for any possible trauma. Completely bewildered at having found absolutely nothing wrong with Harry, she flipped him over on to his back and listened closely for breathing. It was deep and regular.

“Harry, can you hear me?” Hermione lightly patted his cheek, trying to control her thundering heart. “Harry, please wake up.”

No response. Hermione figured he was okay, though, as long as he was breathing and his heart was beating. If anything he appeared to just be in a very deep sleep.

She quickly scanned the Hogwarts grounds. There was no one within spell-casting distance that she could see. If someone had attacked Harry, they should have already been ambushed. There were also no witnesses, so Hermione didn't have to worry about news getting to the wedding party. An unconscious best man did not bode well for the ceremony.

Perhaps she should have let Harry sleep in longer? Hermione was beginning to become astonished at how much she could single-handedly ruin a wedding.

“Harry, I'm going to pick you up…um…” Hermione bit her lip. Going into the castle with an unconscious best man was just not going to happen. Not only would everyone panic after this amazing wedding had been meticulously planned, but Mrs. Weasley would have a stroke. She looked over and caught sight of Hagrid's old hut across the field at the edge of the forest. Grabbing the shoulders of Harry's tuxedo, she dragged him about ten feet before she collapsed, out of breath. For a skinny person, Harry was quite heavy.

“Oh, smart Hermione. Real brilliant.” She rolled her eyes at herself. “Wingardium Leviosa.”

Harry's sleeping form floated in front of her as she sprinted towards Hagrid's cabin.

BANG BANG BANG!

“'o is it?”

“It's me, Hermione!” Hermione called, continuing to bang on the heavy wooden door to emphasize the point that this was an emergency and Hagrid needed to stop feeding his illegal pets or whatever he was doing.

“'Ang on, `Ermione!” Hagrid called back. Hermione heard rummaging around inside the hut and she hoped she wouldn't accidentally become a witness to some illegal animal smuggling.

“I can't hold on, Hagrid, this is really important!”

“I `aven't got any clothes on, `Ermione, just give me a second!”

Hermione nearly dropped Harry down Hagrid's front steps as her mind was suddenly assaulted by a very hairy, very large, very unwanted image.

The door swung open and Hagrid appeared, dressed in clean navy robes. His thick, wild hair was tamed back with what looked like axel grease and a few strands of his wiry beard were twisted into a single braid. Hermione couldn't help but stare at it before she motioned at Harry.

“Hagrid, I need a place to - “

“Blimey! `Arry's asleep!”

“I know, Hagrid!” Hermione quickly rattled off what had happened, which was basically that Harry had just suddenly fallen asleep.

“'As `e got that disease whatsit called…nargle-pepsi?” Hagrid wondered.

“No! Harry hasn't got narcolepsy!”

Hagrid fingered the braid in his beard and his brow furrowed in thought. Hermione noticed that his face was scrubbed clean and she tried to remember if Madame Maxime had been invited to the wedding.

“Did `e eat anything?”

Hermione thought for a moment. “He had licked cake icing off his finger right before he passed out.” She realized.

Suddenly her knee became dangerously weak and she teetered backwards into a chair Hagrid had pulled out just in time.

“Oh no…”

“What is it?”

“Harry's potion! Last night Harry tried to make Dreamless Sleep potion for Ron, and I think we accidentally left it on the table when we left!”

“Dreamless Sleep potion dun look like cake icing, even I know tha', `Ermione - “

“Harry's did.” Hermione said sheepishly. “Kind of like thick melted chocolate with pink in it. Someone must have added it to the cake by accident!”

“Snape must not `ave been exaggeratin' at those bloody meetin's then, eh? `Arry really is rubbish at potions.” Hagrid laughed.

“No, he must be very good at potions.” Hermione sighed. “He's gone and knocked himself out, hasn't he?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Oh! That cake!” Hermione jumped up and started to run out the door. “Hagrid, please, can you try to wake him up? Don't tell anyone he's asleep. The wedding would be ruined.”

“Sure thing, `Ermione.” Hagrid gently lay Harry on his bed and began to poke him on the back, causing Harry's whole body to quake.

“Oh, and try not to hurt him?” Hermione said.

“I'm not `urtin' `im!” Hagrid said defensively. “'E's a strong one. Defeated the Dark Lord, din' `e?”

Hermione sighed and nodded before bolting towards the castle. At the door she nearly collided with Ginny.

“Hermione! Where's the fire?” Ginny joked.

“Where's the cake?”

“Uh-uh, not you too.” Ginny shook her head defiantly. “Ron already tried to sneak a taste. Got away with a tiny bit of icing, but I caught - “

“NO!” Hermione cried. She completely forgot that she was in a stone corridor and that her voice echoed. Everyone in the castle stared at her. “Umm, sorry.”

“What's your problem?” Ginny asked as she was pulled aside by Hermione.

“Where's Ron?”

“He ran off to savor that one bit of icing.” Ginny rolled her eyes. “I swear, it must be that special icing Mum made last minute. I just smeared some on this morning, looked gross but Mum's food always tastes good - “

“Ginny, listen…” Hermione began, but stopped. She had no time to lose; she had to find that cake. “Where is the cake?”

Ginny's eyes narrowed and she crossed her arms across her chest, making her bear striking resemblance to her mother. “You're hiding something.”

“Where's Ron?”

“What's going on?”

“Bloody hell!”

The two women spun around to see Neville come running from the boy's loo down the hall.

“Ginny! Hermione!” He cried, running towards them and nearly tripping over his own two feet. “It's Ron, he's - !”

Hermione clamped a hand over his mouth.

“Where is he?”

“Mmmph.”

“Oh, sorry.” She released his face. “Where is he?”

“HE'S - “

“Quieter!” Hermione hissed.

“Hermione, what the bloody hell is going on?” Ginny demanded.

“Ron's in the boy's loo but he's - “

Hermione didn't listen for the rest. She ran.

- - -

“Oh, Ron!” Hermione gasped. Her best friend was lying on the gray-tiled floor, fast asleep.

“What the hell?!” Ginny demanded for what seemed like the fiftieth time that day.

“He just passed out while looking at himself in the mirror!” Neville cried. “I was just right there and he suddenly fell backwards!”

Hermione rubbed at her forehead and squinched her eyes shut. An unconscious best man wasn't nearly as bad as an unconscious groom. There just was no wedding without the groom. Everyone was going to go crazy. The wedding would be ruined. Mrs. Weasley was going to have a heart attack.

“AHEM!” Ginny practically shouted. “WHAT. THE. HELL.”

Hermione quickly explained about the icing and Harry's Dreamless Sleep Potion. She explained how Harry was asleep with Hagrid and Hagrid was doing his best trying to wake him up. She explained that somehow they needed to wake Ron the hell up. She explained to Ginny and Neville that the world was slowly going mad, one person at a time.

“Oh.”

“Oh.”

“So now you know, please tell me where the cake is!” Hermione begged.

“The kitchens, of course. Dobby should be in the Great Hall. He's dressed like a genie, you can't miss him.” Ginny pointed out the door. “Neville and I will try to wake Ron up.”

Hermione nodded and made her way to the Great Hall. Sure enough, there standing in a pair of white poofy pants, a purple vest, and a light blue turban, was Dobby. She didn't even bother to ask.

“Dobby, where - ?“

“I is getting these clothes from the Indian store at Diagon Alley!” Dobby said exasperatedly, as if he had been explaining them to people all day. “Miss Patil is saying that these is the common formal wears of ancient - “

“Dobby, that's not what I was going to ask.” Hermione interrupted. “I need to know where the cake is.”

“Oh! I is showing you, Miss Hermione!” he grinned.

- - -

Hermione stared at the cake. The potion Harry had concocted that looked like dried animal vomit actually made the cake look…appetizing, like chocolate and strawberry frosting. It did look rather good, so she almost felt bad when she picked it up and tossed all 7 layers of it into the bin.

“What is you doing!” Dobby cried, thoroughly scandalized.

“The cake had some sleeping potion mixed in it by accident.” Hermione explained. “Harry and Ron both had some and now they are practically comatose.”

Dobby's eyes widened. “We must tell Miss Weezy - !”

“No!” Hermione knelt down to face Dobby. “Please don't tell anyone about this. The wedding would be ruined.”

Dobby nodded. “You is needing a new cake then.”

Hermione sighed. “I'll apparate to a bakery and see what they've got. I doubt I could find a cake as good as that one, but - “

“Oh Miss Hermione, don't worry. I is making the new cake!”

Hermione's jaw dropped. “Really?”

“It is no problem for Dobby!” the house elf beamed. “I is having it all done by the end of the ceremony.”

“Oh, Dobby!” Hermione swept the little house elf up into a big hug. “Thank you so much! You're the best!”

Dobby blushed, patting Hermione nervously on the back. “You is very welcome. I is owing you and Master Potter and his Weezy a lot anyway.”

“No, really, thank you.” Hermione put the elf down. “I have to go check on the others, but thank you! Thank you!” She ran off, leaving Dobby alone in the kitchen.

“They is such nice wizards.” Dobby said fondly to himself as he began to prepare the cake. “I is making this cake extra special!”

- - -

Hermione swept up the steps and crashed directly into Harry.

“Harry!”

“Hermione!” Harry said, pulling himself and Hermione up.

“You're awake!”

“Your observational skills are amazing.” Harry grinned.

“Oh, Harry, the cake - Ron - “

“I know, I know, Ginny filled me in. Hagrid is working on Ron right now.” Harry suddenly blushed a violent red color and averted her eyes. Hermione raised an eyebrow.

“What'd he do to wake you up? You were knocked out cold!”

“I don't want to talk about it. Maybe Ron will, when Hagrid wakes him up.”

Hermione stared. “What did he do?”

Harry shrugged still trying to avoid eye contact. “He…he has really big…there was a…smell…”

“Ah!” Hermione clamped her hands over her ears. “I don't want to hear anymore.”

“Told you so.” Harry smiled weakly. Hermione sighed and Harry pulled her closer into a warm hug, caressing her soft hair. It was straightened and shiny, the dim light of the corridor making it gleam just the right amount. He thought she looked gorgeous with her hair tamed like this, but it simply didn't feel the same. It wasn't as full as life, as fluffy, soft and unique as her normal hair. Harry liked it when he ran a hand down her long hair and it puffed back up defiantly.

“You're amazing, you know that?” Harry whispered into her ear.

“I most certainly am not.” She said, her voice muffled against Harry's shirt. “I nearly ruined the wedding. Everything that went wrong was my fault.”

“That's a load of rubbish and you know it. Besides, do you realize how much you saved? How many crises you averted? How Ron would have thrown a fit, Luna would be in tears, and Mrs. Weasley would in all probability be dead right now, if you hadn't fixed everything and hid it so well? You're a hero Hermione!”

Hermione snorted. “No I'm not.”

“Yes you are. You deserve a medal!”

Hermione laughed. “Now you're just being silly.”

“I am not! A big shiny gold medal, for Marital Unfortunate Circumstance Undoing Services.”

“M.U.C.U.S…?”

“Oh so you're making fun of my acronyms now?” Harry chuckled. Hermione laughed.

“We should go find Ron.”

“Yeah.”

- - - END CHAPTER 3 - - -

Note: Did I mention this was kind of a short story? **sheepish** I'm trying to decide whether to split the last part into 2 chapters or just have the next one be the last one. Right now it's looking like 2 more chapters, though.

Aaaaand also did I mention I suck at Hagrid-speak (and British speak in general, I suppose)? And that his and Dobby's speech is a HUGE PAIN IN THE BUTTCHINSKI to spell-check?

Ah well. Tomorrow!