Klamagi

DISCLAIMER: I forgot I'm supposed to write one of these. I DO own Harry Potter and ALL affiliated characters. Take THAT. BAHAHAHA.

…on OPPOSITE DAY!! **cracks self up into a million pieces**

(sorry)

- - -

Ron's face was so pale he could have been mistaken for a Hogwarts ghost. Hagrid didn't seem to notice and slapped him on the back jovially, nearly sending him sprawling across the washroom floor.

“No worries then, eh, Ron?” Hagrid strutted off; probably back to his hut to finish getting ready. Ron sat down hard and Harry and Hermione walked in. Ginny rubbed him supportively on the shoulder, equally as pale as her brother.

“Hagrid woke you up?” Harry asked quietly. “With the, uh…”

Ron and Ginny nodded wordlessly. Hermione looked back and forth between the Weasleys and Harry.

“What did he do to wake you guys up?!” Hermione demanded.

Ginny shook her head vigorously. “You really, seriously do not want to know, Hermione.”

“Yes I do!”

Suddenly the four of them heard a loud noise as the washroom door was shoved open, nearly clear off its hinges. Neville was there, his face flushed and sweaty. Hermione felt her stomach drop. That particular day Neville was unfortunately the constant bringer of bad news, and while Hermione tried not to be the kill-the-messenger type, it was just not a good day.

“Umm, Harry? A word?” he squeaked.

Hermione rubbed at her eyebrows in exasperation. “What happened?”

“Uh…well…Harry…?” Neville shot a look to him for help, but Harry was as clueless as Hermione was. He stared at him.

“Yeah?”

“The, uh…I need a little help with the…” Unable to voice his problem in front of the others, Neville extended the pointer finger of his right hand and formed an “O” shape with the pointer and thumb on his left. Then he moved his right finger in and out of the “O”.

“NEVILLE!” Hermione cried, affronted by his vulgar hand gestures.

“Ewww!” Ron and Ginny agreed.

“No! No, it's not…not that!” Neville stammered. “I…I need…Harry, will you just bloody come with me?”

Harry looked a bit hesitant to join Neville after his little finger puppet show, but Neville gave him no choice. He finally grabbed the best man by the wrist and dragged him away.

- - -

“Neville, I don't really know what to say. You know I'm not really interested in…um…” Harry began.

“Not that!” Neville hissed. “The rings!”

Harry gasped. “I forgot about the damn rings!”

“Yeah, well, I couldn't find a single jeweler on such short notice. At least, none that were willing to give me replacement rings for cheap.” Neville said regretfully. “Legally, anyway. There was this one dodgy fellow at Knockturn Alley that wanted to sell me something that gives the wearer the power to engulf his or her partner in flames - “

“You're going off track there, Neville.”

“Oh, right. So anyway, I pulled a Hermione and transfigured something into the wedding rings. Two somethings, actually.”

Harry stared at him incredulously. “You did what?!”

“Well, it was a lot easier with Hermione's carnations to roses spell, because carnations are flowers just like roses. So naturally it was much easier to just change the appearance of a carnation.”

“Okay…”

“The trick is to find an object similar to what you want to transfigure it into. You remember McGonagall teaching us about that, right? If you want to make a cake it's easier to transfigure a loaf of bread instead of a brick or something. The effects last longer and… “

Harry narrowed his eyes at Neville. He was babbling now. Obviously he was trying to avoid saying something out right. Harry stopped Neville by taking his shoulder.

“Neville, what are you trying to tell me?”

“Itransfiguredcookies.”

“What?”

“I transfigured a pair of cookies into the wedding rings. Because they were round and stuff. They were all that I could find!” Neville cleared his throat. “And, um…”

“What, Neville?!”

Suddenly Ron's nephew Neil, the ring bearer, galloped past the two men, flopping his white lacy pillow around like it was a cowboy hat.

“Hi Unka Harry! Hi Unka Nebill! Tanks fo da cookies they real good!” he waved his pillow at them before galloping off outside the castle.

“Oh, sweet Merlin.” Harry had to sit down. Unfortunately his rear end did not come into contact with a chair and he ended up leaning against the stone wall and slowly sliding down onto the floor.

“Uh, yeah. Baked goods are apparently a lot different than gold rings and I'm not exactly a transfiguration expert. The cookies changed back and he ate them. We haven't got any rings for the ceremony.” Neville said sheepishly.

“Ron is going to kill me!” Harry groaned. “Neville, we've got to find something else to transfigure into the rings!”

“I haven't got a clue were to start looking.” Neville admitted.

“We need two things…preferably small…round…made of gold…” Harry said slowly. Then, light bulb moment.

“A snitch! We've got to find two snitches!” Harry cried.

“That's brilliant, Harry!” Neville lauded. “I'll bet there are at least four Quidditch trunks in the locker rooms, one for each house. We'll just borrow them!”

- - -

After about half an hour of breaking into the locker rooms, smashing the locks on two Quidditch trunks, and trying to get the snitches to sit still so that they could be transfigured, Harry finally decided their efforts were futile. They had finally immobilized the two annoying snitches to a bench with a sticking charm, but for some reason the snitches just wouldn't change. With each attempt they merely fluttered their tiny little wings at them mockingly.

“D'you think it has something to do with all the charms on them?” Neville wondered out loud. “They've got dozens of Anti-Jinxing and Cursing spells on them to prevent tampering before a game…maybe that's what's stopping them from being transfigured.”

“Bloody Hell!” Harry grunted, frustrated and tired. He threw the increasingly irritating snitches at the wall in anger, but they just flittered out the door where they would no doubt be a nuisance to someone else.

“The wedding starts in half an hour.” Neville said unhelpfully, looking down at his watch. “We're going to need to be up there in fifteen minutes!”

“I know, I know, but we've got to find rings!” Harry said, making his way out of the locker rooms. He knew that if word got out that he had ruined the wedding, facing the Entire Weasley Clan would be like being mauled by a pack of rabid dogs. And Mrs. Weasley.

“There's nothing else to Transfigure!”

“Harry! Neville!” Hermione called as Harry and Neville emerged from the Quidditch locker rooms. “What were you…doing…oh never mind. Mrs. Weasley is going to throw a fit if you aren't at the altar in 5 seconds! You too, Neville!”

“Sorry!” Neville whimpered as he scampered off. “Harry, just forget about them. Just tell the truth, we've got nothing else to lose.”

Harry didn't answer. He was staring at Hermione's hands, which were resting on her elegant curves in irritation.

“Harry, what are you looking at?” Hermione asked self consciously.

“Oh, no! I wasn't…” Harry trailed off and took Hermione's hand.

“What are you doing?”

“Hermione, can I borrow this bracelet?” Harry asked quickly, not waiting for an answer and slipping her gold friendship bracelet off her wrist. “Thanks, got to run! I'll see you at the altar!” He ran off, leaving Hermione completely bewildered.

- - -

“GINNY!” Harry all but screamed as he tore after the maid of honor. “Ginny, I need to borrow something!”

“Harry! Where were you, we're supposed to be lining up - “

“I can't explain now, I just need…” Harry's heart fell as he looked down and realized Ginny wasn't wearing her friendship bracelet. “How come you're not wearing your gold friendship bracelet?”

Ginny cocked an eyebrow. “It's not fancy enough for a wedding. I wear it almost every other day though. Why?”

“Bloody hell.” Harry said. The wedding song was already starting and it was almost their turn to march down the blue and gold carpeted aisle. Ginny grabbed Harry by the wrist and dragged him out with her. They were the first pair to come down the aisle.

“Come on.” Ginny hissed. She hooked their elbows and pulled him close, and the charmed Hogwarts doors opened themselves out into the beautifully decorated field. The carpet was soft under his feet and lined by strings of the transfigured carnations leading to the wedding arch. George Weasley was having a ball, banging away at the organ to a particularly jaunty rendition of “The Wedding March”, and Harry silently begged for him to slow down so he could have time to think.

Ron was already standing at the front, beaming, blissfully having no idea at how much the wedding had been - and still was - teetering on thin ice. Lupin was standing at Ron's side. They grinned encouragingly at Harry and Ginny as they began their journey down the Gryffindor-Ravenclaw carpet.

Harry hadn't realized this many people were going to be at the wedding. Two hundred people, a hundred on each side, didn't seem like that much on paper. It wasn't until that moment he realized how many people two hundred actually was. Two hundred people meant four hundred eyes, three hundred ninety-nine if you counted Mad-Eye, who was watching him closely from the third row as if he could see each individual bead of sweat running down his neck. Hagrid was blubbering into a large pink handkerchief, with Madame Maxime patting him on the back. Harry wondered how he was going to pull off creating rings in front of everyone.

“Smile.” Ginny instructed under her breath. Harry nodded and did his best not to look like a crazed ax murderer. All of a sudden, he flinched as something stung him in the corner of his eye. He looked over to see what had blinded him. The sunlight off of Ginny's golden hoop earring.

His eyes widened and he tried desperately to think of some way to get at it. Wandless magic would have to do.

“Accio earring” Harry breathed.

“What?” Ginny asked. The earring tugged away from her ear and into Harry's hand. “Ow, what was that?”

“Sorry, nothing.” Harry whispered.

They finally made it to the front and stood on either side of the white wedding arch, Harry clutching the golden bracelet and Ginny's earring in his palm. They looked back at the Hogwarts doors and saw the ring bearer, little Neil Weasley, holding his white lace pillow. The white netting that was supposed to encase the rings was empty. Luckily the only one anal enough to notice, Mrs. Weasley, was seated in the front row sobbing in joy as if Voldemort had been defeated all over again. Gina Weasley, who was walking next to his brother, either didn't notice or didn't care as she skipped down the aisle tossing petals from her basket in every direction.

Behind them, Hermione and Neville shot Harry angry and apprehensive looks, respectively. They were the first pair of bridesmaid and groomsman to walk down the aisle and it appeared Hermione had forced the ring situation out of him.

Despite the struggling expression on her face, Hermione looked radiant. Harry wished not for the first time that he was Neville, with his arm locked around the beautiful brunette. She had virtually no jewelry on now, since he had stolen her bracelet, and looked rather plain compared to Luna's gorgeous blond cousins who were marching behind them. However, Harry still could not take his eyes off her. She looked tired, which was expected after the morning they just had, but the look worked for his favorite bookworm. If anything, the strands of hair falling from her formerly elegant bun and her flushed pink skin made her even more attractive. It was evidence of how determined and kind-hearted she was. A stamp of beauty, inside and out.

Harry shook the thoughts out of his head. Now was not the time to be checking Hermione out. He motioned slightly with his hand and let the gold bracelet and earring glint a bit in the sunlight. Hermione's eyes widened in realization.

When she and Neville got to the front they split ways, Neville to come stand next to Harry and Hermione to Ginny. As the rest of the wedding party made their way up front, Harry leaned backwards a little. Hermione did the same on the other side.

“Take them!” Harry hissed.

“Accio bracelet.” Hermione whispered, concentrating on using her own wandless magic. “Accio earring.”

The two pieces of jewelry landed in Hermione's palm. Harry only hoped that she would be able to transfigure them discreetly enough. Somehow he had to provide some kind of distraction so that Hermione could whip out her wand and turn them into wedding bands. He considered tipping Neville over a bit so that he would stumble. Not enough to hurt him, of course, but just enough to interrupt the ceremony even a little. It was Neville, after all, and desperate times called for desperate measures.

Just as he was working up the nerve, everyone stood to their feet and looked backwards. Luna was making her entrance! If they were going to do it, now was the time. He shot a desperate look to Hermione, who nodded slightly. He couldn't see much past Ginny, but he assumed Hermione had done it. As Luna walked down the aisle, looking breathtaking in her white bridal gown, Harry leaned back again and accioed the two wedding rings from behind Hermione's back. Neville saw and grinned, tugging Neil over slightly so that Harry could deposit the transfigured rings on the pillow.

They were home-free, just as Luna kissed her aging father on the cheek and took her place beside Ron. Harry and Hermione both breathed huge sighs of relief.

“Welcome ladies and gentlemen.” Lupin said suddenly in a loud voice. “We are gathered here today…”

Harry stared, blinked, rubbed out his eyes, and looked again. Lupin's tongue was bright green.

Some of the guests gasped, some gaped, and some tried to look like they hadn't noticed that the minister's tongue looked like a ripe lettuce leaf. Mrs. Weasley looked about ready to have a coronary, but was calmed down a bit when Mr. Weasley placed a comforting hand on her knee. Ron and Luna merely stared, Ron with confusion and Luna with intense fascination.

Harry looked over at Hermione and found her glaring at him. Then it clicked. Earlier that morning when Hermione had run off to fix the flowers, Harry had tried to heal Lupin's burned tongue. Apparently he hadn't done such a bang-up job. He vaguely remembered being in a hurry to follow Hermione and find out why she was acting so weird, so he had half-heartedly cast the soothing spell. And now, somehow, Lupin's tongue was green.

At least he can talk. Harry mouthed. Hermione stifled a laugh and the ceremony continued without any further mishap. Lupin droned on with the traditional readings, green tongue occasionally making an appearance that gradually became unnoticeable. All was good.

That is, until little Neil suddenly leaped forward and crashed directly into the bride.

“Neil!” Angelina scolded from her seat.

“SNITCHES!” he cried gleefully, pointing up at the sky. Sure enough, two small golden snitches danced in the air. “Catch the snitch!!”

Harry and Neville shared horrified looks. They were the snitches they had released in frustration earlier. Harry couldn't help but glance at Hermione, who he could practically feel boring holes into his skull with her eyes. She knew he had something to do with it.

“I gotta catch the snitch!” Neil declared triumphantly and he scrambled onto Lupin's pulpit and tried to jump high enough to wrap his tiny fingers around one of the snitches.

“Look out!” Ginny cried.

Neil slipped and accidentally fell. Ron dove to catch his nephew, inadvertently knocking Luna to the ground in a heap. The bride seemed unfazed; however, her eyes sparkling in amusement as Ron struggled to keep his nephew still.

“Oh Neil, you're so brilliant! Marriage is a bit like a Quidditch game, isn't it? Clever grimkazzle!”

Hermione took a moment, as usual, to blink at Luna with a puzzled expression on her face. Ginny snickered.

“Fred, I could use a hand here!” Ron bellowed at the boy's father as Neil slipped free and chased the snitches, which began to flutter away further down the grounds.

Fred and George were practically in convulsions with laughter, and their mother looked about ready to faint. Harry went over to help the bride back to her feet and looked at Hermione, who now seemed to be concentrating in Neil's direction.

“Hermione, what are you - ?”

Suddenly the snitches stopped in mid air. Their tiny fluttering wings snapped together and they hurtled to the ground helplessly, where Neil scooped them up joyfully and scampered back to his place at the front of the ceremony as if he hadn't just caused a pandemonium in the middle of wedding vows. Harry grinned appreciatively at Hermione's show of wandless magic that day. She had never quite mastered it in their time at Hogwarts or even during the war, but she was getting much better now.

The guests and wedding party sat in silence and disbelief, looking at the little ring bearer for a good five minutes before Lupin finally cleared his throat.

“Ahem, well, uh…oh yes…” Lupin straightened his notes, trying to read through the muddy footprints Neil had left on them. He licked his thumb with his green tongue and turned a page. “Do you, Luna, take Ronald Weasley to be your lawfully wedding wife…”

Hermione's full attention was no longer focused on the wedding. Instead she had taken to glancing over at Harry. He was completely absorbed in the vows, watching Ron and Luna intently, almost longingly. She knew all that talk about not really thinking about marriage was a load of Snorkack. It was obvious by the way he was watching Ron and Luna exchange vows, he seemed almost jealous. He thought about love at least as much as she did. Hermione hoped with all her heart that someday Harry would find someone. Merlin knew, of all the people in the whole world, he definitely deserved it.

“You may now kiss the bride!”

Hermione snapped back to reality and realized she had spent the entire ceremony in a daydream. Lupin had already gone thorough his sermon, Ron and Luna were already wearing their rings and their vows had already been exchanged. Her cheeks colored slightly in embarrassment.

There was thunderous applause as Ron snogged Luna breathless in front of two hundred people. It was as if he had smuggled a pair of Volcano Lips to the altar. Flashbulbs went off, cheers grew louder, and George took that moment to release the patented Weasley Daylight Flash Rockets. They burst in the sky, spelling out in bright neon colors:

Congratulations to Loony and her Ickle Ronniekins!

Love, from Weasley Wizard Wheezes.

93 Diagon Alley, London, England.

Daylight Flash Rockets on Sale Now! Perfect for any occasion! See Fred or George at the reception for details.

In all the celebration, Hermione was able to sidle up next to Harry.

“Imagine that.” She sighed. “One of us is married.”

“Yeah.” Harry said. “Who would have thought it would be Ron first?”

Hermione looked at him. “Why wouldn't it have been Ron first?”

“I…I dunno. You're more in touch with feelings…and stuff. You were always more grown-up too.” Harry shrugged. “I figured it would be you first.”

“Oh…well, like I said, I haven't found the right guy.” Hermione said wistfully. “Weddings always make me feel like this, all...single. But one good thing about weddings, it's a good place to meet people.”

“Maybe you'll find someone. If not here, he'll come along some day.” Harry assured her, tentatively putting an arm around her shoulders. When she nuzzled closer to him, he relaxed. Ron scooped Luna up in his arms and carried her back down the aisle, the cheers not showing any signs of dying down. Even Mad-Eye seemed to be showing some emotion, one gloved hand rubbing at his good eye.

Yet all Harry could think about then was that he hoped the right guy would never come for Hermione. She'd come to Harry for comfort, and he'd always be there to give it.

- - - END CHAPTER 4 - - -

Note: Review please, and constructive criticism is very much wanted. I will lick it like it is ice cream :-D

Last (woo!) chapter coming up tomorrow! Or…or…or the day after **blushes**. I'm not happy with it yet! And I think maybe I will actually leave my house tomorrow, heheh. But we'll see… Definitely by mid-Saturday though.

HAPPY ST. PATTY'S DAY!! :-D