Scholarly Interests Chapter One - Posing the Question
"Oh, come on Hermione; you can't mean to tell me that with you being you, you haven't noticed that there's one huge subject that they're not teaching us?"
Hermione pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head, choosing to disguise her reddening cheeks in the expanse of her thick riot of curls. "Yes, Ginny, I know. But as I've already told you the last twelve times you've hinted at it, if it's not something Hogwarts chooses to teach then we really can't-"
"And I told you," the redhead returned with a snarky grin, "that it's not exactly as if we always follow the rules, is it?"
"Well, yes, but that's different than purposely holding a secret group to teach something that we know isn't sanctioned by Hogwarts. We don't know what kind of punishment there'd be for this; why it could land us in-"
"The exact same kind of trouble Harry almost faced with the D.A.," Ginny finished.
"Exactly!" Hermione said with an airborne jab of her quill, but then quickly realized that most of the air had just been let out of her argument. She sighed. "Now, Ginny, honestly … have you even thought of who is going to teach this class?"
"Hermione, it's not a class, it's a small study group of friends. And it's not exactly rocket science, it's sex."
"Maybe so," Hermione responded, trying to work the embarrassed flush off her cheeks, "but who's qualified to teach people about sex aside from some of the teachers - who most certainly would not agree - or some of the girls in my year - who you most certainly do not want to teach you about sex - hmm? And besides, if it's 'just sex' and not rocket science, why do you need to form a group to teach about it?"
"Touché," Ginny said, but then sat back from the table, reclining on the back two legs of her chair, and bit her bottom lip as she pondered. "The teaching certainly is a problem," she said, more to herself than Hermione. "But I'm certain I could come up with someone."
"Hrmph," Hermione said and returned to her Transfiguration essay. It really was ridiculous how her palms were sweating just the tiniest bit. And she was even more annoyed at how her heart was now fluttering madly. She couldn't quite get a good grip on her quill. She couldn't help it, the topic just made her a bit jumpy.
*****
Over the next hour, Hermione caught Ginny staring her no less than seventeen times.
Eighteen.
Nineteen.
Twenty- "Ginny, what are you leering at?" Hermione growled angrily overtop of her essay on hellebore uses in Potion making.
"Nothing," Ginny said hurriedly, returning her eyes to her own star chart. But it wasn't long before she raised her eyes to Hermione's again. "Did your parents ever talk about it with you?"
"Hmm?" Hermione muttered, still writing. "Talk about what?"
"Sex. Did your parents ever talk to you about it?"
"Of course," Hermione said primly. "We had quite a thorough talk about it after I came home from third year because they figured I'd be getting - well, you know that soon I'd be … that I'd have…"
"Your period?" Ginny offered helpfully. She smirked as Hermione colored deeply about the cheeks.
"Yes, exactly." She cleared her throat and went back to her essay.
"Third year? You were thirteen before you had the painters in?"
Hermione cleared her throat and flushed deeper. "Yes, nearly fourteen. 'Late bloomer' as my mother put it. I bloody hated that phrase."
Ginny chuckled along with Hermione, but let that particular part go because she could see it made Hermione self-conscious.
"My parents never talked to me about it," Ginny said wistfully. "I suppose that they figured that with six boys ahead of me they wouldn't have to tell me about sex because either one of them would tell me or I'd figure it out on my own. Merlin knows I love Dad, but I don't think he'd make it through 'the talk.'"
Hermione laid down her quill and laughed. "Oh, trust me, I know how you feel. My parents gave me three books and said, 'Come to us if you have questions.'"
Ginny smirked. "Books? So it's genetic! Why am I not surprised?"
Hermione smiled warmly and chuckled.
"Were the books good at least?"
"Oh yes," Hermione said, her stomach flip-flopping as the nervousness came back. "One in particular. Very thorough, I learned lots."
"Hmm," Ginny said.
After a few minutes of silent, Hermione felt Ginny's eyes on her as she was writing.
"What?" Hermione said.
"You said the book was thorough?"
"Yes, very thorough. Why?"
"Hmm," Ginny mumbled. "Do you have it here with you?"
Hermione looked up with narrowed eyes. "Yes," she said, her voice breaking, "I keep it here for … reference. Why?"
Ginny smiled at her but turned to look around the room. "I've found someone qualified to teach the group."
"Oh, really? Who is …" Hermione said, and then trailed off. "No."
Ginny smiled again and handed her a sheaf of paper. "Any idea how to write a lesson plan, Hermione?"
"No!" she said forcefully. "Absolutely not! I can't … I couldn't … I wouldn't possibly be able to-"
But Ginny was already up from the table, wandering around the common room. When she heard Lavender and Parvati giggling from the corner and Ron's hissed, "Ginny!" Hermione figured she'd better start writing that lesson plan.
*****
Hermione was shaking so forcefully the next morning at breakfast that she was certain that people would think she had developed some kind of nervous disorder overnight. And she wasn't so certain they'd be wrong. Everyone within a five-foot radius at the Gryffindor table was staring at her over their pumpkin juice, trying to pretend they weren't staring. She had come down early in the hopes of polishing off her breakfast before she had to bear the looks that Harry and Ron would no doubt be giving her.
"Blast it, Ginny," she hissed across the table, "people are staring at me as if I'm some sort of horrid pervert. And it's entirely your bloody fault."
Ginny did not appear ruffled by this very uncharacteristic swearing out of Hermione. "Relax," she said, spooning some porridge into a bowl. "They're just curious."
"Curious, is it?" Hermione said with a skeptical scowl.
"Well," Ginny said, trying to hide a smirk, "that and …"
"And what?" Hermione said. Her voice was growing louder with each word and she was unaware of the fact that she had now added at least eight spoonfuls of sugar to her tea.
"That and … they're sort of … flabbergasted that you're the one teaching about sex."
"Why would they be flabbergasted at that?" Hermione's voice had gained at least an octave of pitch and a decibel or five of volume.
By contrast, Ginny's voice was all the quieter. "Well, you have to admit that you're not the worldliest girl in Gryffindor when it comes to boys."
"And what's that supposed to mean?!"
"Hermione," Ginny said, making a subtle hand motion to reduce her volume. "It's just that … well, you've never really had a fellow apart from Ron, and you and I know how fast that died at the end of the summer without anything coming of it. And for all your time hanging around with Harry and Ron as a group …"
Hermione's face reddened and she narrowed her eyes dangerously. "What about my time with Harry and Ron?"
For the first time, Ginny looked uncomfortable. "There are two current theories running … that you're either 'one of the guys' and don't have any experience with either of them whatsoever …" Ginny trailed off, looked away, and cleared her throat.
"Or?" Hermione said, her voice a harsh whisper.
"Or … the three of you have some sort of standing … er … arrangement. With all of you. Together."
"WHAT?" Hermione roared.
Half of the Great Hall turned their heads in the direction of the two prefects, rubbernecking around each other to see what the commotion was. In response to a stern look from McGonagall and raised eyebrows from most of the other teachers, Hermione eased back into her seat and stared furiously at Ginny.
"They think that Ron and Harry and I are … are …!" Hermione stammered.
"Having a secret, wildly erotic threesome?" Ginny offered with more flippancy, it was clear, than she felt. "Yeah, I reckon that's about it. Ugh," Ginny grimaced, "Ron in a threesome … that image will linger in a rather unfortunate way. But anyway, the bets on that option are pretty low."
"Bets?" Hermione said, horrified.
"Most people are going more for the idea that neither Ron nor Harry has noticed you've got tits."
Hermione harrumphed loudly. She was thoroughly annoyed at the fact that she couldn't decide whether this saved her reputation or destroyed it, and as such, she wasn't sure if she was relieved or insulted. She didn't have the time to voice any of these consternations, however, as the population of Gryffindor table had just increased by the arrival of the final two members of the supposed Gryffindor 'trio,' as it were.
"You'll never believe what Parvati Patil just asked me," Ron said, a stricken look on his face and an embarrassed flush creeping down his neck.
"Somehow I think I would," Hermione muttered, casting a dark look at Ginny.
Harry raised an eyebrow at Hermione and then sighed as he filled his plate. "I know what you mean, Ron. You know, I thought I was famous before," he said around a mouthful of toast. "I just received somewhere around fourteen absolutely scandalous propositions and I haven't the foggiest idea why. And Eloise Midgen just asked me if it's true what they say about men who ride long broomsticks."
As incensed as Hermione had been with Ginny, she couldn't help it. Both of the girls failed to contain a riot of laughter that had bubbled up at the completely gobsmacked look on Harry's face.
"What?" Harry asked amidst the chuckles coming from Ginny and Hermione.
"You had better get away while you can, Gin," Hermione said, becoming easier with the topic through their laughter. "Or people will think that you've joined Ron, Harry and I in the sack."
Harry's' fork clanged loudly as it hit his plate and Ron overturned an entire pitcher of pumpkin juice in shock. "Excuse me?" Ron asked incredulously, as Ginny made a gesture towards the boys, indicating that Hermione should explain.
"Oh, no you don't, Ginevra Molly Weasley," Hermione said, her hands naturally going to her hips. "You got us in this mess; you can bloody well explain to them what's going on."
Ginny took a deep breath, looked uneasily between Harry and Ron, and then launched into the story of the new 'study group of friends' that would most likely be meeting up later in the week.
"I suppose it's a bloody good think we don't have Umbridge around anymore," Harry said, after several moments of uncomfortable silence.
Hermione raised an eyebrow.
"I wouldn't fancy asking permission to form this particular group."
"And how," Hermione said, smiling despite herself.
"Pardon me, Professor," Ginny said in a sickly sweet voice, "would you please give us leave to hold a large orgy in the Room of Requirement?"
"Ginny!" Ron hissed.
"Well, that would be the best spot for it to go on without getting broken up."
"Harry!" Ron said, a little louder.
"Indeed. The room could even provide the contraceptive potion without the messy hassle of asking Madam Pomfrey!"
"Hermione!" Ron practically shouted. His mouth was hanging open a few inches. "Have you all lost your bloody minds?"
Hermione ignored him and turned to Ginny. "Suppose for one second that, hypothetically speaking, I was willing to teach this-"
Harry cleared his throat and Ron shifted in his seat.
"Study group of friends. Who would we be inviting?" Hermione finished.
"Well, the people that showed honest interest," Ginny started, "… you know, in something other than a laugh or an actual orgy, were Lavender and Parvati-"
"Oh, Lord," Ron muttered.
"Dean, Seamus, Neville, and Luna," Ginny finished. "Oh, and the four of us, of course."
"The four of us?" Harry asked, his voice cracking.
"Well, naturally, I assumed the four of us. I mean, if Hermione is teaching, and it was my idea … well, naturally I didn't think you two would pass up an opportunity like this."
"What do you mean, opportunity?" Ron said.
"To talk about sex with girls, you giant berk," Ginny said, shaking her head at her brother.
Ron started to rebut, then apparently thought better of it, coloring in the cheeks and looking down with a sudden fixation on the cuff of his robes.
Hermione blushed furiously. "You know, Ginny, perhaps this wasn't such-"ermione blusheHermione blushed furiously
I think it's a great opportunity," Harry interrupted. When Hermione stared at him, gape-mouthed in shock, and Ginny smiled, Harry looked down at the table. "I mean to learn something, of course. When's the first meeting?"
Ginny smiled. "Tuesday at 8 o'clock. The Room of Requirement."