That night I discovered that talking was the furthest thing from Hermione's mind.
We were walking slowly to her room and she threaded her arm through mine. I started, but kept on walking, waiting for her to mention it. We stopped in front of her door and she still hadn't.
I opened it for her, watched her walk through, and I turned to shut it. When I turned to face her I found myself being pushed against the door and attacked. Hermione's hair was flying around her and it surrounded us as she pinned me against the door. She took my surprise right from my lips as she claimed them. She enveloped my face with her delicate hands and kissed the hell out of me.
Not only had she thoroughly shocked me, but she had knocked the breath out of me as well. Before I could even begin to return the favor she pulled back and crossed to a chair, sitting primly upon it. She crossed her legs and looked at me as if nothing had happened.
I stood there, still against the door, my mouth still open in shock. I must have stayed there for a while because it took her giggling to force me to snap out of it.
I sat across from her at the table and she smiled. A smug little smile with a glint in her eyes that both scared and aroused me. To the point of being uncomfortable. She took my hand and sat on the edge of her chair, waiting to listen.
"Hermione, I-" I shook my head and gestured to her.
She smiled and I faltered. "It's okay, Harry. I know-"
I stopped listening there. She was smiling at me and her fingers were caressing my palm and I don't remember when I've been harder. I wanted to talk and then suddenly I want nothing more than to quiet her most effectively.
"-and then-"
I still couldn't pay attention. I found myself watching her lips move as she talked. She was still stoking my palm and then, there! Her tongue came out and licked her lips. I inwardly groaned at myself. I took a deep breath and told myself to focus.
"-just sometimes, it's so hard to. Don't you think so?" She looked at me, a question written on her face. She had finally pulled her hand away and was just looking at me, waiting for a response.
I did the only think I could do. I launched myself across the table and kissed her. I could feel her smile against me. I kissed her thoroughly, until we were both panting and it wasn't until she reached for my neck did I realize I had been straddling a table. Still uncomfortable, I groaned and reluctantly pulled away.
Only to find myself unable to; Hermione had a firm grip on my hair, making it painful to withdraw. She pulled me even closer, which I had thought impossible, and stole my breath from me again. I winced as I came further into contact with the table.
Until I was suddenly turned upside down and forced to rest on the table. I saw the ceiling for a brief second until Hermione's face replaced it. She smiled at me, a heart stoppingly, gut wrenchingly, spine tingling, bloody arousing smile. She was atop me, straddling me, both of us half on the table. She framed my face with her hands, delicately licked her lips and practically attacked me.
I was still too stunned to do much more than tentatively kiss back, despite our earlier kisses. She had surprised me, taken my breath and my heart and was currently playing Quidditch with both.
I gained back my Gryffindor courage and actually started to move. To kiss back. My hands found her back, her ticklish sides, her arse, her hair; I couldn't get enough of her beneath my fingertips. She was equally adventurous and had even taken to trail one hand to the nether regions. At which point I jumped and she tugged playfully at my bottom lip.
We were, at this point, breathing very heavily and very into each other. So much so that we didn't hear an insistent knock on the door, nor the subsequent squeak as it opened.
We did, however, hear the gasp and the tumble of books. I looked over at the door and Hermione gently removed her hand from my pants as we slowly, excruciatingly, removed ourselves from each other and the table.
I turned around quickly, both to gain my composure and my composure. I hadn't been wearing my traditional loose-fitting robes after class, and well, my pants left nothing to the imagination. I heard Hermione greet the poor unsuspecting 2nd year who was out after curfew but, due to fear of Hermione's wrath in the morning, who felt compelled to return her books. I sighed loudly, extremely frustrated. I calmed slightly and nodded goodbye to a busy Hermione.
When I closed her door behind me, I leaned on it and sighed again, running my hand through my hair. I was no closer to figuring this out than I had been earlier. I vowed to myself that I would confront Hermione, albeit at a safe distance. Obviously, neither of us could be trusted.
~*~
I woke up the next morning distinctly disgruntled. No only had Hermione and I not had the talk, but we were also interrupted.
I must admit, though, I was a little scared about the upcoming Talk. I had left Hermione last night without a word, without paying attention to anything she had been saying and I was still completely unprepared.
I knew two things though: I loved Hermione, and I loved snogging Hermione. I just didn't know how to tell her properly, without rushing or ruining or moving straight into love. I knew she liked me and appeared to like snogging me, but after that?
I was doomed and confused.
~*~
Breakfast I piddled, classes I dawdled, and lunch I skipped altogether. My newfound cowardice was a slight inconvenience to my appetite, but did wonders for my head.
I finally accosted her during my break. The library was unusually full and she was distracted. I smiled as I watched her and smiled that she was distracted. That meant I could bumble and falter what I wanted to say and she's only half-heartedly listen and possibly acknowledge my feelings without too much thought or disagreement. I was so distraught at finally deciding to at least show her another inkling as to how I felt that I was shaking.
And extremely grateful that I had not bothered to eat much that day.
She paused and caught my eye, looking up from a group of Slytherins. She smiled and nodded in the direction of her office. I hesitated upon entering the enclosed and private space, but I left the door open, sat down behind her desk and waited.
She entered after I had taken a few deep breaths. She raised her eyebrows at my position, then turned and shut the door behind her.
I gulped noticeably and opened my mouth to speak before she could do anything.
"Hermione, please. I have something I need to say, to get off my chest, and it's hard enough to say without being interrupted." She smiled at me encouragingly, taking a seat, and I took a deep breath. I looked at her, then around the room, finally settling on a paperweight on her desk. I reached for it and played with it idly as I tried to pour out my heart.
"Hermione, I," I took another breath. "I…" I trailed off and shook my head. I just couldn't do it. I felt her reach over and take my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. I looked at her again. "I was lost when you were with Ron. I was lost and confused about what I was seeing and feeling. It took me a long time to figure out it was jealousy. I was jealous of Ron, and how I thought you loved him. It was so hard for me to give you away and then stand up with him. I wanted to say, so many times, that it was wrong, this was wrong, Ron was wrong for you, but I didn't want to get in the way of your happiness." I reached over and cupped her face in my hands. "All I wanted was for you to be happy. I thought you were, so I forced myself to be." I dropped my hands and leaned forward on my elbows, dropping my head into my hands. "When I found out what he had done to you, I was shattered but also very hopeful and happy. You had not been happy after all, at least of your own whim, and that troubled me. Yet at the same time I was so happy because I could be free to watch you again, to love you. These past few months have been almost surreal. It's like I have a second chance with you and I'm afraid to arse it all up. Hermione, I love you, I have loved you, longer than I even know and I'm just so worried about what this is going to do to our friendship, to you. I've tried so hard to wait for you, to allow you to heal, but when we kiss I know I can't wait any longer."
I looked at her to find tears in her eyes and a slight smile upon her face. She stood up and slowly walked around the desk to where I was and kneeled before me. She hugged me hard and I felt like crying. She looked at me from the embrace and smiled again, that glorious smile.
"Oh, Harry," she sighed.
She stretched and tenderly kissed me. Her lips were salty from her tears and she pulled back to look at me. She reached up and brushed a lock of my hair off my forehead and kissed me again.
"Hermione, I can't just-"
She smiled and shook her head before silencing me with a kiss. "Harry, I know I've loved you for ages, and hearing that from you breaks my heart. I'm so sorry this has taken so long, but I suspect that this is one of the reasons Ron reacted the way he did. He never could compete with you, especially in my heart."
I stared at her, kneeling on the floor with her hair and robes in disarray. I gently pulled her up until I had her in my lap. She rested her cheek on mine and we sat there for a while.
We had always had a way of silently communicating with each other, and this time was no different. We were both stunned, shaken and happily surprised at the revelations but we still felt a shadow over it. Ron was still marring our perfect happiness and we both suspected he always would be. I didn't want to go too fast and ruin everything up to that point. I knew she couldn't be ready to trust quite yet, even if it was me. So we sat, in companionable silence. She got up to close the library but returned to me, to our silence, as we watched the shadows lengthen and the room grow dark.
~*~
I woke to silence, a pain in my neck, and heavy arms. I opened my eyes to find Hermione's office, with its owner still in my lap. I gently shook her to wake her.
She greeted me unexpectedly. With a kiss. It was sweet, languid, gentle, and unhurried. Our tongues tangled gently and our breaths mingled slightly as we enjoyed each other's taste. It slowly picked up, escalating to the point where she was straddling me (again) while I was in the chair.
"Hermione," gasp "We have to" gasp "stop." She ignored me though and tried to unbutton my shirt. I grabbed her hand and stood up, kissing her soundly. "Not yet."
She gave me one last lingering kiss, eyed me up and down, then ran out of the room, laughter ringing out behind her.
I smiled, dazed, and then raced after her.
A/N: Okay, it's not as long as the first chapter, but it's definitely longer than the last five or six chapters. Hopefully this bit of fluff will distract you so much that you won't realize that this fic is almost done. As in, I only plan to write one more chapter and then an epilogue and then NO MORE! This was originally only supposed to be three chapters with a short epilogue, as I've told some of my reviewers. But it ran and ran out of control, and all the reviews really helped that. But I've caught on now, and I'm sticking to the plan (code). Anyhoo, I hope you've enjoyed this! Thanks so much for reading, and a special thanks to all my loyal reviewers! Oh, and any errors are mine, so please point them out for me. I probably won't upload an edited edition, but I'll have the fixed version on my livejournal (bubblegumlocks, for posterity).