Sleep would not come to me Sunday night. I tossed and turned and hit my pillow; nothing helped. I kept picturing the look on Hermione's face as I pulled away. Her eyes were closed, at first, and her lips were slightly parted, as if she were surprised. Then she closed herself off.
I sighed as I leaned forcibly into my pillow. I hoped I hadn't done anything to her, to ruin our friendship. I was trying so hard not to force my feelings upon her. By now I was sure she at least had an inkling of how I felt. She had to have had; Hermione is an intelligent woman. I was afraid of ruining everything.
After seeing her face a few more times and punching the pillow a lot more, I finally drifted off to an uneasy sleep.
~*~
Monday morning at breakfast she sat next to me and acted as if nothing unusual had happened. I was relieved, but still wary. She wasn't short or curt with me, nor was she skittish or angry. She was just Hermione. She might have been a little quieter, but that was more normal with Hermione now. I took my attitude from hers and didn't mention it.
I was dying to know what she thought though. Was she as confused as me? Did she stay awake last night, worrying and fretting over our relationship? Or did she not even realize I had been about to kiss her? I shuddered inwardly and prayed that wasn't the case. Hermione wasn't oblivious, so I knew she realized something.
I watched her eat out of the corner of my eye. She ate slowly, pausing to sip her juice or speak with Professor Flitwick on her right. I felt her glance at me a few times but we never actually made eye contact.
Maybe it wasn't so normal then. I thought I had everything under control and neither of us were awkward. Until I knocked my juice over, right into her lap. Predictably she shrieked, but at once I started mopping her up with my napkin. She watched me with narrowed eyes, then put her hand on top of mine. It was only then that I realized where my hand had been. I looked at her and blushed my apology as I gently removed my hand and napkin from her chest. She shrugged it off and we continued eating. I half noticed her hand was shaking as she reached for her juice but then breakfast was over. She stood first to leave and I watched her walk out.
~*~
I had a break right after breakfast so I tried returning to my room to work on the days lessons. I couldn't concentrate and decided I wouldn't be able to for the rest of the day, so I set essays for my students to turn in by the end of class. That was so they would stay busy while I could sit at my desk thinking of what else I could do wrong to Hermione.
I put my head on the desk and let out a frustrated moan. First I had almost kissed Hermione, then I had molested her at breakfast in front of the entire school. I was blushing just thinking about it. I thought Hermione might hate me now, as confusing as I was. I decided to see if that were even remotely true before I could wallow in my own misery and embarrassment. I went to the library to see if she would even speak with me.
~*~
I had to wait, impatiently, while she helped a few third years find information for their Potions class. I stood by the window at first, then paced between a few shelves. I was about to lose my nerve when she appeared around the stacks.
"I'm sorry," I blurted out. She looked at me and I heard a few giggles. I guess I had been rather loud, and I was in Hermione's library. She directed me to a table and pointed me to sit down. I did and waited for her to join me.
She sighed and put both hands on the table in front of her. She looked at me. I tried to say something but I couldn't, not with her looking at me like that. Finally she spoke.
"Harry, about yesterday," she began.
"I'm sorry," I repeated. "I'm sorry about last night and I'm sorry about this morning. I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable."
She sighed again. "Harry, that's not-"
We were interrupted again by a first year with a question. Then another student. I checked my watch and noticed it was almost time for my class. I glanced over at Hermione and waved to her. She shot me a look that clearly said we'd talk later.
~*~
Later never came. We tried speaking at meals but there wasn't enough privacy. I went to the library during any breaks but she was always too busy. My classes started to pick up. I was teaching curses and coutercurses to my older students and we discussed defensive theory amongst my younger ones. I noticed the Quidditch captains conferring among their former and hopeful teammates. I knew the year had finally truly started.
I knew Hermione hadn't forgotten our pending discussion, nor had I. We put it behind us though, for the time being, because the Saturday before her birthday, the staff retreated to the Three Broomsticks for celebration. She blushed and happily nodded at all of the attention. She thanked McGonagall for the invitation to be a part of the staff and thanked everyone for their birthday wishes and greetings. I said nothing specific, wishing to surprise her on the actual day. I did, however, walk her safely to her room. I gave her a birthday hug and she kissed my cheek goodnight before I walked to my room.
I woke early Sunday morning and put a box outside her door, donned my invisibility cloak and waited. The box did its job; it made a lot of noise, mewing pitifully, until she opened the door. She took the top off the box right away and pulled out a tiny gray fur ball with a big pink ribbon around its neck. She smiled softly at the kitten and held it close to comfort id. She banished the box and looked down the hall for evidence.
"Accio cloak," I heard her mutter. I let if slip from my hands as I grinned at her.
"Happy Birthday Hermione."
She smiled shyly as I walked closer. "Do you like her? She hasn't a name yet, I thought you'd like to. She's not half-kneazle like Crookshanks was, but she wouldn't let me leave the store without her."
Hermione smiled again and nodded. "Her name is Annabeth." I raised my eyebrows. "We'll call her Annie for short."
I gently stoked Annie behind her ears. She purred loudly. "Nice to meet you Annie."
"Oh Harry!" Hermione pulled me into a big hug, nearly knocking me flat. Annie let out a piteous mew at being squished between us but Hermione didn't let go. I could feel her shaking and I pulled back slightly. Annie, sensing the opportunity, jumped from Hermione's arms and took to exploring the corridor. I gently wiped tears from Hermione's eyes.
"Oh Harry, you've been so good to me lately. I don't know what I would have done without you." She pulled me close again.
I wasn't prepared and was in the process of shaking my head when our noses bumped, then our lips briefly met. I jumped, shocked, at the feel of her lips finally on mine. She jumped back first, a blush staining her cheeks. Before she could say anything or pull away any further our lips met again; this time was no accident.
My arms wrapped around her waist and I pulled her flush against me. She came without hesitation, putting her arms around my neck. I could feel Annie purring against my legs as I opened my mouth against her master's. Hermione let out a moan as my tongue entered her mouth. She allowed me to tilt her head back as I deepened the kiss. She fisted one hand in my hair and pulled me closer. Our noses bumped again. I was kissing Hermione and she wasn't pulling back or running away. She wasn't crying. She was kissing me back. I was so happy and overwhelmed that I ended our kiss. We rested our foreheads together and we were both breathing heavily. She looked at me and before I could apologize or even blink she kissed me again.
The temperature in the hallway rose a few degrees as we kissed again. I could hear Annie meowing like she was far off but I could only register Hermione. Her soft lips were against mine and she was the only thing I could think about. I had waited for this for ages. She pulled me against her until I had backed her against the wall. Her hands had moved from my neck to my back and then to my arse.
I pulled back, unsure, when she bit my lip. "Hermione." She paused and looked at me. "Hermione, are you sure we should be doing this?"
She stopped abruptly and let her hands fall to her sides. She sighed and stepped away from me, looking anywhere but at me. "I," she faltered. "I guess you're right Harry. Thank you for Annie." She scooped the kitten up and retreated to her room. I stood shocked as she started to close her door.
I put my foot in the way before she could. "Wait. Hermione, I didn't mean," she opened the door fully. "I didn't mean that I didn't mean to kiss you." I ran my hand through my hair and decided to come clean. "I, um, I liked kissing you, and I meant to." I knew I was blushing. "Hermione, I've liked you, I like you, for a very long time." I paused again and sighed. "It killed me to see you with Ron."
The door flew open and away as Hermione threw her arms around me again. She was smiling and tears were in her eyes. "Harry," she said quietly, blushing. "I've liked you for a long time too." She took my hand and led me to her couch to sit. "Ever since I was in the hospital, you've been by my side, helping me, supporting me. I honestly didn't know what I was going to do if you ever decided to leave me. We've been tiptoeing around this for too long." I glanced over at her, shocked. "I know you've been worried about me and trying not to rush things, but frankly I've been hoping you'd kiss me since before your birthday."
A/N: Sorry this took slightly longer to post than I had planned. I hope it was worth the wait!!!