Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter
A/N: Ok, first off, I apologise for the silly chapter title in advance lol… it's Ronny Doesn't Know cause… Ron doesn't know about what happens this chapter… :D lol read to find out what he doesn't know.
I hope you like! Please review at the end of the chapter!
How My Love Life Got Even More Complicated
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Chapter Four: Ronny Doesn't Know
Hermione:
I was actually going crazy.
By the time of the first Quidditch match of the season my brain felt as though it was very sore from all of the thinking about Harry.
Honestly, why on earth couldn't I just… throw those stupid feelings out the window?
The struggle within me to hold this inside was… unbearable. I could hardly sleep at night, which led to me being very tired in the morning, which led Harry to believe that I was staying up all night studying again. So you know what he did? He decided to make me sleep with him down in the common room.
This was just so bloody useful in helping me forget about my feelings towards him.
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"Hermione, if you don't relax in ten seconds I'll have to lie on top of you to make you relax," Harry said irritably, glaring at her from the other side of the couch.
'That won't help me sleep, it'll just stop me from falling asleep,' she thought to herself, crossing her arms and glaring back at Harry. "Harry, I don't see why you have to sleep with me. I'm perfectly fine on my own."
Harry crossed his arms too and said, "You haven't been sleeping and I know that you've been up late studying again for the past few nights."
"I haven't been studying late at night," Hermione grumbled, glaring at the floor now. "I just haven't been able to sleep very well lately."
"Uh huh," he said, not believing a word she said.
"You wouldn't understand," she muttered, standing up and beginning to walk towards the girls' staircase.
"What wouldn't I understand?" he asked, standing up suddenly and grabbing her arm.
She jerked her arm away from him and said, "Just let me work out my problems on my own Harry. If I need to talk to you about them, I will."
"I'm just worried about you," he said softly.
"I know. If I need you, I'll talk to you," she replied, just as softly, gazing up at him as the corners of her mouth lifted slightly in a smile. She leant up and kissed his cheek softly, lingering for a little longer than normal. "'Night."
"'Night," Harry whispered, watching her walk away and up the stairs.
As Hermione disappeared up the stairs she felt a tear escape her eye and run down her cheek. She wiped it away hurriedly and walked faster to her room. Once there and sure that the silencing charm around her bed was working properly, she buried her face in her pillow and screamed.
Screamed as loud as she could.
Once exhausted from screaming, she turned on her back and kicked out at the air above her. She groaned angrily and tensed all the muscles in her body, beginning to shake slightly. She then relaxed, feeling completely and utterly helpless.
"Why?" she whispered, her tears running down the side of her face and onto her pillow. "If I… confess to Harry… Ron will get hurt…" she whispered, beginning to gasp for breath. Now hyperventilating, she cried even harder, her sobs bursting forth and almost choking her. "If I… don't confess… then I will go crazy," she whispered, tensing her body up again and letting it go again. "I don't know what to do anymore."
Soon, her crying subsided and she rolled on her side, wiping her tears away and sniffing loudly. She climbed under her covers and pulled one of her pillows down to rest next to her and cuddled up to it, imagining that it was Harry comforting her to sleep.
---
When Hermione woke up the next morning, it was to a sharp poking in her side. "Mmmfff," she murmured, swatting at the annoying prodding.
"Hermione, wake up," Ginny's voice whispered.
"No," Hermione muttered stubbornly, pulling the covers further up her body and curling up into a little ball.
"Ron wants to snog with you in a closet before the match," Ginny said, in an annoying sing-song voice.
"Oh god, the match is today, isn't it?" Hermione groaned, rolling onto her back. She opened her eyes to see Ginny glaring down at her. "What? I don't pretend to like Quidditch and you don't pretend to like… reading Hogwarts, A History."
Ginny couldn't help but smile and poked Hermione again. "I need to talk to you."
"Can't this wait until after the match?" Hermione asked, sitting up with much effort.
"No," Ginny said, stubbornly. She swung her legs up onto the bed and pulled the hangings closed.
"Alright. What's up?" Hermione asked, yawning widely and stretching back.
"How long has it been since Harry and I broke up?" Ginny asked, looking down at her fingernails.
"Umm… about three months?" Hermione replied, frowning and trying to remember when they did break up.
"Yeah."
"So…?" Hermione said, raising her eyebrows at Ginny.
Ginny sighed and said, "Well… I still… like him."
"Oh…" Hermione suddenly felt as though someone had punched her very hard in the stomach.
"And you know, it's not as though I want to like him," Ginny said, almost desperately. "He just makes it so difficult for me to get over him! He's just so damn… cute and nice and gorgeous and…"
"I get the point," Hermione said, the look on her face downcast. She looked back up at Ginny and said, "Why are you telling me?"
"Because you're the only one I trust to say this to," Ginny said, sighing and crossing her arms.
Hermione nodded and didn't say anything, now feeling as though someone had stabbed a knife in her stomach and twisted it around. She suddenly felt as though she was going to throw up.
The look on her face must have shown how she was feeling because Ginny frowned at her and said, "Are you okay Hermione?"
Hermione closed her eyes and shook her head slightly. "I'm perfectly fine Ginny," she said softly. She opened her eyes and said, "You should go and get ready for the match."
"Okay… are you sure you're alright?"
Hermione smiled slightly and said, "I'll be fine."
"Alright. See you down there."
Ginny left the room and Hermione groaned loudly and buried her face in her pillows. "Fantastic," she muttered. "I'll probably end up hurting two people."
---
"Slytherin win one hundred and sixty to one hundred and forty," Seamus groaned through the microphone in front of him.
Three quarters of the school groaned with him, while the Slytherin end of the pitch cheered as loudly as they could. Hermione watched in disappointment as the Gryffindor players flew to the ground, obviously angry with themselves. They all looked up at the Slytherin players, who were still flying around cheering themselves, and scowled.
They disappeared into the changing rooms and Hermione began to make her way down to them.
"I'm just going to see if Harry and Ron are okay about losing," she muttered to herself.
As she approached the entrance to the changing rooms, she found Ron and his fellow team mates, excluding Harry, exiting and looking very disappointed.
"Ron!" Hermione exclaimed, walking forward and touching his arm. "You guys okay?"
Ron shrugged and said, "We'll be fine. It was just one match. But Harry's really beating himself up about it in there."
Hermione looked hesitantly at the entrance to the changing rooms and said, "Maybe I should just leave him alone then."
"No, you should go talk to him," Ginny said immediately, looking back worriedly. "You're the only one who manages to get through to him."
"Alright," Hermione replied. "I'll see you guys up at the common room."
Ron and Ginny nodded and kept on walking in the direction of Gryffindor Tower, while Hermione worked up the courage to walk through to the changing rooms to find Harry.
"Harry?" she called, tentatively, looking around cautiously, very ready to cover her eyes in case he wasn't dressed yet. "Are you in here?"
"Yes," came his voice from inside the shower.
"Well, are you going to come out?" she asked, moving forward slightly.
She heard Harry sigh and open the shower. She squeaked softly and immediately covered her eyes. "Hermione, don't worry. I'm wearing a towel," he said, walking forward and taking her hands off her face.
"Oh," she said quietly. She looked up at his face to see him wearing a frown… and a small towel. 'Fuck.'
"Why are you in here?" he asked, turning his back on her as he walked back to his locker and pulled his clothing out of it.
'Ahh he has a nice back,' she thought, almost squeaking again. "Uh… I'm in here to… make sure you're okay about the match."
"I'm fine," he said immediately, pulling a black, tight t-shirt over his head and picking his boxers up. "Could you close your eyes for a moment?"
Hermione nodded and covered her face again, only just managing to resist the urge to peak between her fingers. "Are you sure you're fine?" she asked, her voice quivering slightly at the thought of Harry naked.
"I'm sure," he replied. "You can look now."
Hermione took her hands away from her face to see Harry now wearing a pair of baggy blue jeans and folding his towel up.
"I'm just a little angry because I wasn't completely focused on the game," he said, sighing and turning to face her.
"Oh!" she said in surprise. "Why weren't you focused?"
"I've had a lot on my mind lately," he said, beginning to walk with her back up to Gryffindor Tower.
"Like?"
Harry smiled grimly and said, "Oh, you know. Cho, you, Ron, Ginny…"
"Whoa," Hermione said, placing a hand on his arm. "I was distracting you while you were playing?"
"Not just you," Harry said, defensively.
Hermione smiled slightly and said, "Alright."
They walked in silence for a few moments. The whole time, Hermione was debating with herself on whether or not she should tell Harry her dark secret. She looked sideways at him to see him thinking hard too. She sighed and looked back at the ground in front of her feet.
"Can you tell me what's wrong yet?" Harry asked softly, but suddenly.
Hermione sighed and looked back at him. He was now staring straight at her and they stopped walking. She bit her lip and said, "I shouldn't…"
"If you don't tell me, I will go mad," he said, a smile hinting at the corner of his lips.
She smiled weakly back at him and looked down at her hands. "Harry…"
"Yes?"
Hermione sighed and said, "Well… as you know, lately something has been troubling me." She paused, trying to think of a way to put her feelings into words.
"Does it have anything to do with Ron?" Harry asked, frowning slightly.
"Partly," she said, sighing. She looked up at him and smiled hopelessly. "I guess I should just tell you. I kind of… sort of… like you."
Silence.
"What do you mean, like?" Harry asked, still frowning at her.
Hermione rolled her eyes and said, "You know what I mean."
A look of apprehension appeared on Harry's face and his mouth formed a small 'O'.
Hermione sighed and began to walk away from him. "Idiot," she muttered, tears coming back to her eyes.
"Hermione!" Harry called out in alarm, running after her.
"What?" she asked stopping and turning around to glare at him.
"Don't look at me like that," he said, crossing his arms stubbornly. "I have something to confess too."
"What is it?"
"I feel… the same way about you."
Silence.
Hermione closed her eyes and frowned. "This can't be happening," she muttered, raising her hands to rub her temples.
"Why not?" he asked softly, stepping forward and trying to take her hands away from her forehead.
"Because we're not supposed to feel like this about each other! This changes everything," she groaned, trying to tug her arms away from him.
"Hermione, stop," Harry said firmly, moving his hands up to her shoulders and shaking her slightly.
"This wasn't supposed to happen," she said, opening her eyes and glaring at him.
"I know," he said softly, pulling her to him and hugging her tightly. "But you know what we're going to do?"
"What?" she grumbled, hugging him back and secretly loving the feeling of his body up against hers.
"We're not going to deny our feelings because if we do that we will go even more mental than we already are." They both laughed softly and Harry continued, "And, I am going to break up with Cho and you are going to break up with Ron."
Hermione nodded and said, "Alright." She pulled back in his embrace and looked up at him. "I just can't believe you feel the same way," she whispered.
Harry grinned cheekily and began to lower his head to kiss her.
"No," Hermione whispered, when he was an inch from her mouth. "Not until…"
"I know," he whispered back, leaning his forehead on hers. "I just…"
"Me too," she whispered. "But I don't want Ron to accuse me of cheating and be right."
Harry nodded and pulled back. They began to walk up towards Gryffindor Tower, dreading the moment when they would walk through the portrait hole to a common room full of depressed Gryffindors.
"So, when are we going to break up with them?" Hermione asked softly, crossing her arms and watching the ground at her feet with sudden interest.
"Well… I'll break up with Cho tomorrow. But you might want to give Ron a little more time. He'll be a little depressed about losing the match," Harry said reasonably. He sighed and said, "This sucks."
"I know," Hermione agreed.
"It doesn't matter how we do this, we'll still end up hurting Ron," he grumbled, shoving his hands in his pockets and glaring at the floor too.
"And if we don't do it, we'll go mad," Hermione sighed, looking at Harry.
"It's not fair. I should have worked up the courage to ask you out ages ago," he sighed, looking back at her and stopping walking. "You wouldn't have had to go out with Ron."
"You were going to ask me out?" Hermione asked in surprise.
"Until Ron told me he really liked you and was going to ask you out soon. He then said that Ginny still liked me and I should take a chance with her."
Hermione snorted and said, "Look how that turned out. Sorry," she added, looking very embarrassed.
"No, you're right," he said, smiling slightly. "You snort?"
Hermione rolled her eyes and poked her tongue out at him. "Be quiet you. Let's just go up to Gryffindor Tower. They'll be wondering where we are."
When they entered the common room, it was to sympathetic looks. "You did put up a great fight," Dean said, walking over to them. "You stopped Malfoy from getting the snitch what, five times?"
Harry smiled weakly and said, "It wasn't enough obviously."
"Hey, we only lost by twenty points," Ron said reasonably, moving over to make some space for Harry and Hermione.
She sat down next to Ron and Harry sat next to her. "It's not such a terrible loss," Hermione said, looking up at Harry. "You've still got the rest of the year to make up for it."
Harry nodded. "I'm just going to go up to bed," he said softly, standing up.
"It's seven thirty. We haven't even had dinner yet," Ginny protested, frowning up at him.
"I'm really tired," Harry said, lamely. "See you guys tomorrow."
"Harry, you need to eat," Hermione said softly, touching his hand.
He smiled and squeezed her hand softly. "If I need food, I can go down to the kitchens."
"Alright," she said, letting his hand go.
He walked away and she sat back and looked at Ron and Ginny. They were looking at her, almost quizzically.
"What?" she asked, crossing her arms.
"Why were you and Harry taking so long to get up here?" Ron asked, suspiciously.
"We were walking slowly," she said, beginning to feel guilty.
Ron seemed satisfied with this explanation and sat back in his chair.
For what seemed like the one millionth time that year, there was another awkward silence. Hermione sighed and said, "I'll be going to bed too then."
"Alright," Ron said, not seeming very bothered by the silence. "'Night."
"Goodnight," she said, standing up and leaving.
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Harry:
If I was completely honest with myself, what happened after that Quidditch match was one of the best and worst things that could happen to me. I mean, it is such a weight off my shoulders now that I've confessed how I feel. But then again, I know how Ron feels about Hermione and I'm supposed to be with Cho and I think Ginny still has feelings for me.
It's just such a terrible situation to be in.
I don't want to hurt anyone. But it seems that Hermione and I will end up hurting three people. Well, we'll care about hurting two people. Cho will get over it pretty quickly.
All I know is that I can't deny how I feel any longer. I want to be with Hermione and I now know that she's the only girl for me.
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To be continued…