Missing Harry
Chapter 4: Eighteen Months
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January 3, 2003
All she could do was spill her guts. Nothing was coming up, so she'd dry-heave until her stomach nearly reversed itself and flew out her mouth.
Six more months, she assured herself, reaching down absentmindedly to rub her belly that hadn't even begun to form yet. It was a natural instinct; when she felt sick or if she tripped, her hand would automatically go to her stomach, as though holding it would protect her unborn child at such a young stage.
Hers and Harry's unborn child.
Not to mention, their first child, and Hermione was terrified. Not for the child birth, and not because of this huge lifestyle change, but because she didn't know if Harry would ever get to know this little person.
The thought alone made tears prickle at her eyes. What if Harry couldn't remember who this new person was? How would she explain this to him every time he came in contact with his son or daughter? Would it be possible to bring a child up in such an environment?
Hermione broke down as her dry-heaves stopped and she sunk down to the cool tile of the bathroom floor. She cried into the sleeve of her shirt and clawed at the tile, all of which distracted her from hearing another person entering the loo.
"What's wrong, Hermione? I heard-I heard-I heard you crying."
Hermione sniffled and tried to contain herself as she sat up and met Harry's worried glance. "I-It's nothing, Harry."
"It doesn't sound like nothing." His brows furrowed and he tried to move closer to her, but she backed up against the wall. "What's going on?"
"I-I don't know, Harry," Hermione began to sob again. Harry didn't move, however. "I have all these emotions and I don't know how to handle them. I don't know how to handle this situation."
"What situation?" He asked, sitting down and facing her. He looked worried, but made no move closer to her. "Hermione, what are-are-are you talking about?"
"Oh, Harry, don't you remember?" He looked at her inquisitively and inched a bit closer to her. "Don't you know what's happening right now?"
"Uhhh…"
"Do you realise what we're going to have in six months? I've told you before; you've got to remember."
"What, that we're-that we're-that we're going to have a baby?"
A breath left Hermione's mouth as it fell open. Her eyes widened and her heart stopped.
He'd remembered.
"Oh-Oh, Harry!" Hermione crawled over to him on her knees and threw her arms around him. The salty water in her eyes began to fall again. "H-how did you remember?"
"What do you mean?" He asked with a slight chuckle. "How-how-how could I forget?"
Hermione shook her head against his chest. "I don't care; it doesn't matter now. As long as you know who our child is."
Harry took hold of her chin and tilted her face up to his. "Hermione, you don't know how badly I've wanted-I've wanted-I've wanted a family my entire life." He gave her a chaste kiss and hugged her tightly. "I'll love our child no matter what, and with-with-with everything in me. If Voldemort ever comes near…"
"Oh, Harry," Hermione sighed as she buried her head in the crook of his neck. "Let's not talk about him right now."
Harry nodded. "You're right. We've got more-more-more important things to worry about." Hermione nodded and took deep breaths; breathing in his scent and mixing it with memories of him long ago, memories long before he'd been like this. It had been so much easier then, but she knew she'd love him no matter what.
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July 31, 2000
She'd found him among the rubble of what used to be Professor Sprout's haven: the greenhouses of Hogwarts. He was clutching two wands in his hand, one that was unmistakably his, and the other that she'd figured was Voldemort's.
At first she'd thought he was dead. Her hands clutched at his chest frantically as she grappled for his wrist. An overwhelming relief came over her when she felt his pulse. It'd made her a bit light-headed at first, but then Harry began to cough. Hermione had scrambled to sit up as Harry sputtered and choked for air. She stroked his cheek as tears formed in her eyes.
"Oh, Harry."
"H-Hermione…"
"Shhhh. You lay still; I'll go get Madam Pomfrey."
"N-no, Hermione…"
She kissed him on his forehead, right on his scar. "I'll only be a moment." She stood up, and almost ran into Neville. "Y-you're okay!" she'd yelled, launching herself into Neville's arms.
He'd blushed for a moment and then set her down. "I-I came over here when I saw you crouched over Harry."
"I know! Can you believe it?" She grinned, even though tears were coursing down her cheeks.
"It's a miracle, it's-Harry?" Neville had turned his gaze towards Harry. Hermione whipped her head around quickly and her heart had almost burst.
"H-Harry, no. Don't…please…Harry…" Hermione's joyful tears had turned hot as she fell to her knees and pulled Harry to her. She feared for the life of the man in her arms, the man she loved so dearly…
When she'd cradled his head in her arms she could feel something hot and wet on her arm. Pulling back, she noticed her shirt had gone from a dirty white to stained in deep red.
"Go get Madame Pomphrey, Now!" She screamed at Neville. He'd apparated faster than she'd ever seen him do before. The wards had been taken down around Hogwarts when school had been shut down only a few years earlier; it wasn't safe with or without the wards. Hermione didn't care about the wards at this moment she'd really only been focused on Harry who'd been lying in her arms. He'd been shaking uncontrollably as his eyes began to roll back in his head.
Hermione had cradled him to her breast, kissing his forehead repeatedly. "Oh, Harry, no. You can't-you can't-you can't do this. Please don't leave me. I love-I love-I love you!"
Quicker than she could have imagined, Madam Pomfrey popped onto the scene with Neville right behind her. She'd made haste and had wrenched Hermione off of Harry, apparating Harry side-along back to the castle.
Hermione had looked down at her hands that were covered in blood, sinking to her knees and letting out a blood-curdling scream.
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January 10, 2011
Present Time
That day would never leave her memory. Even with all the lovely afternoons filled with Madison, the times her growing baby would move around inside of her, and the passionate love Harry made with her, she'd never forget. Ironic as it was, it would be etched into her mind forever, whereas Harry would have no recollection of the incident…and as Madam Pomfrey had told her, he'd have no recollection of events prior to the accident, which included his fight with Voldemort.
It had all happened so quickly, too, that she wasn't surprised that he wouldn't remember the battle. One minute he'd been ravishing her in their apartment, the next, Ron was screaming through the door that there'd been an attack on the remaining staff living at Hogwarts.
After it was over, and Harry was stable, Madam Pomfrey told her that he'd probably have some brain damage. When he fell, he'd fallen backwards and hit his head on a rock. His determination was the only thing that'd kept him alive as he shot that final curse at Voldemort, killing the bastard once and for all.
When Harry had woken up, her worst fears had come true. He'd no clue how he had gotten to Hogwarts, and still thought Voldemort was alive. When they'd assured him that he had, in fact, defeated the beast, Harry had gone into a fit, screaming himself hoarse of conspiracies against him; until Madam Pomfrey had force fed him a sleeping draught.
He'd damaged the part of the hippocampus that converted short-term memory to long-term. As Madam Pomfrey explained the anterograde amnesia to her, Hermione let tears loose in scepticism, rather, hopeful scepticism, for she prayed with everything in her that the nurse was wrong for once. Unfortunately, Madam Pomfrey was spot on.
The first few weeks had proven to be the most difficult, as Harry was easily irritated. Hermione tried, relentlessly, to get used to this new man, the man who'd take over her love's body, but she feared she'd never get used to not having the old Harry with her ever again. She'd fallen in love with a different man, but he was gone, and in his wake was another whom she'd hope to love just as much.
Hermione sniffled a bit at the retrospective thoughts flooding her brain, reaching over to the other side of the bed to stroke his hair lightly. He shifted a bit as his eyes fluttered open. She smiled sadly at him, tracing his scar with her index finger.
"I wish-I wish-I wish you wouldn't do that," he said huskily, pulling her hand away from his forehead and lacing their fingers together. He rolled toward her to lie on his stomach and pillow his head on her growing belly.
"Hello, there," Harry mumbled quietly. "Your mummy's being silly again, and I don't know-know-know why." His hands ran up and down the curve of her stomach.
Tears grew hotly in her eyes and she reached down to run her hand through his hair again. "Oh, Harry."
"Hey!" Harry said suddenly, sitting up. "We should-we should-we should bring Madison to the park tomorrow!"
Hermione smiled slightly. "Of course we can, Harry."
He looked down at her, and the colour in his eyes seemed to change again. "God you look stunning."
Hermione blushed. "I'm turning into a whale."
"Not at all," Harry assured her. "You're positively glowing."
"Oh, glowing now, am I?"
Harry laughed before his face turned serious again. He reached for her hand, seeking out her thumb and pulling it towards his forehead.
Hermione was shocked to say the least. He'd never done this before; she didn't think it was possible. Not to mention his eyes held nothing in them. They were blank, and that scared her even more.
Attempting to stop him from pressing her thumb against his scar (against his healer's latest orders that it might possibly damage him further), she lost the battle and allowed him to pull her thumb against his hot skin.
Choking and gasping, it only took a moment before the man she'd originally fallen in love with emerged, and began to ravish her senseless.
She'd fallen in love with him all over again, with this entirely innocent and vulnerable Harry despite all his flaws, but it left her torn and confused. How could she possibly love two men who lived in the same body, one screaming to be released while the other sits patiently waiting to be told which direction to move.
As Harry sheathed himself within her, she reckoned it didn't matter; she'd love him if he turned into the devil himself. She'd promised to love him unconditionally, and with Harry's ambiguous personality, she'd love him more and more until it was physically impossible for her to continue.
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So sorry for the delay! I've had sooo much on my plate, but I really felt like this story needed an update. :)
Thanks to Rylee! You're wonderful!
And thanks to all the reviews!
*Love to all!*
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