Unofficial Portkey Archive

Wherein Harry has a disturbing nightmare, contacts Dumbledore, share's Auror partner rings with Hermione, uses a spell improperly and gets in trouble during training, prepares for and gives testimony against Umbridge, learns more about Hermione, encounters a different Draco Malfoy, agrees to a business proposition from the Twins, and meets someone new and different.

I'm off for vacation for a week, but I wanted to leave everyone with something to read while I'm gone.

Disclaimer: I neither own nor claim any other rights in the characters and other concepts created by J.K. Rowling. I make no money, nor do I seek any commercial advantage from this work. As such it constitutes "fair use" as defined in 17 U.S.C. §107.

Chapter 8 - Testimony

At first, Harry thought it was a flashback from first year. He found himself on a gigantic chessboard facing a set of human-sized pieces. Shaking himself fully awake, Harry realised that this was no first-year frolic. Opposite him were a full set of Death Eater chessmen in black robes, all identical except for silver markings denoting their status. Only two of the black pieces were identifiable - Lord Voldemort as King and Bellatrix Lestrange as Queen.

Voldemort's evil high pitched cackling echoed over the board. "You can only lose in life, Potter. No matter how well protected you think you are by the Muggle-loving fool, I will have you in the end. So few care about you, whilst so many are willing to serve me. One by one yours will fall, until you are alone, friendless, and hopeless. Now we play!"

Harry tried to move away. He was bound in place, unable to leave. Frantically, Harry looked around. He saw Ron in the same predicament to his left, on a knight's square, struggling but unable to move. With a start, Harry noticed that he was playing short - there was no white, King-side bishop. Knowing (and dreading) what he would see as he turned to his left, there was Hermione in the Queen's place, likewise struggling, and unable to move.

White was opening. Directly ahead of Hermione, a pawn, played by Molly Weasley, moved two spaces forward. A faceless Death Eater did the same. Harry's remaining bishop, Remus Lupin, leapt forward from the Queen-side and took the exposed Death Eater Pawn. In a flash of green light the pawn dropped dead. But this was Voldemort's game. A replacement Death Eater pawn Apparated in the square where its predecessor begun the game.

"That's not fair," Harry yelled, now realising that he had also begun play one pawn short.

"Spare me your whining. Life, or in your case death, is unfair," sneered Voldemort. "Surely you of all people understand that. You are not here to compete - you are here to die. But first you will watch all the others die before you."

Voldemort was not a particularly skilled chess player. The white pieces, playing under Ron's direction, were obliterating many more black pieces than they suffered casualties. But with every black piece instantly replaced, capture and thus death came inevitably to those in white. Bill Weasley, a Queen-side pawn, was the first to fall, collapsing in the face of the familiar, deadly flash of green light after taking a black bishop. Arthur Weasley died in an exchange of pawns. Hagrid followed, cut down by a black Knight.

Then Cho Chang was exposed. Harry screamed as Ron sacrificed himself for her. He fell to the black Queen, Bellatrix Lestrange. "How tender," Voldemort hissed. "The easiest way to take a teenage boy is with a teenage girl as bait." Luna Lovegood, the Queen-side Knight, took Lestrange, but she reappeared by Voldemort's side as Voldemort laughed loudly. "And the easiest way to take a teenage girl is to use a teenage boy." Luna fell to her black counterpart.

Harry himself came under attack after Molly Weasley died. He castled with Ginny, but was not nearly the chess player Ron was. Hermione eliminated the immediate threat, and did not venture more than three squares from Harry. Aided by Ginny, Hermione did away with any piece coming that close. Lupin attacked again, drawing attention away as Neville recklessly succeeded in putting Voldemort in check. Although Neville took a bishop and a knight in successive moves, he was greatly outnumbered, and the green flash took him in two more moves.

There were virtually no more white pieces. All the Weasleys that had been on the board were now gone. Boxed in by pawns, Hermione could no longer evade the opposing Queen. Bellatrix Lestrange moved in for the kill. Voldemort's howl, "There are none left, Potter," rang in Harry's ears. He screamed louder and longer than before and desperately tried to give up the game by sacrificing himself. If he could just move, this would be over. The green glow started… All of a sudden lightning flashed and torrential rain began to fall.…

Splash!!

Harry awoke on the floor, soaking wet, clutching his scar as it burned in agony. Dudley's face hovered over him. He held a dripping four-litre green plastic bucket, the contents of which he had just dumped on Harry's head. Remembering his cousin's last dream, Dudley did not attempt to pull Harry to his feet.

Aunt Petunia appeared behind Dudley, looking for all the world like a large, pale fish - the colour entirely drained from her face, eyes wide, and stupidly opening and closing her mouth without saying a word. Harry's Uncle soon panted into view behind his wife, red faced and holding a sand wedge, with which, Harry supposed, Uncle Vernon intended to beat out of him whatever he might have thought had taken possession.

"I-I-I … had a nightmare," Harry gasped. "Must tell Dumbledore…."

His relatives slowly backed away and eventually left without further word. Harry dragged himself to his desk, grabbed his enchanted quill, activated the communicator, and with great effort scribbled the most detailed description of his nightmare/vision that he possibly could. Despite the lingering ache from his scar, he filled four feet of parchment.

Harry's angst grew as he wrote his exegesis. He had no way of telling whether, or to what extent, the nightmare he was describing had any basis in fact. Several of his previous nightmares had been factual - Arthur Weasley owed his life to one of those. But Voldemort had also sent him wholly fictitious images, costing Sirius his life. Desperate to know if any or all of the people he cared about were alive, Harry considered taking the Knight Bus to the Burrow.

Suddenly, Harry remembered Hermione mentioning that there was a portrait of Godric Gryffindor in the Weasley homestead. Harry immediately performed the Aparecium portratus spell. At first he thought it had failed, but after a few minutes a visibly sleepy and somewhat annoyed Godric Gryffindor padded into view - holding a candlestick and dressed in a red silk nightshirt with little gold lions running across the cloth in constantly changing patterns.

Gryffindor was thoroughly irritated at being summoned in the wee hours of the morning. Nevertheless, Harry explained the situation, in his urgency not stopping to think of the illustrious personage that he was proposing to use as his personal messenger. The founder of Gryffindor house grumpily agreed to check the Burrow to see if all of the Weasleys were present and accounted for. Instantly, he was off, leaving the empty portrait behind.

After fifteen anxious minutes Gryffindor returned with welcome news that everything was in order at the Burrow. "I had to yell at the top of my lungs," he complained hoarsely. "Then I almost got hexed by that madwoman for my pains. She finally told me all was well. So, if you please, good night."

After meditating for another quarter hour, Harry noticed with pleasant surprise that he had not only emptied his mind, but also focused on the peaceful image of a calm sea lapping against a sandy beach. Mentally steadied, he finally drifted off to sleep.

His preparation for Monday's Auror training on restraining spells was less than desired. The extended interruption of Harry's sleep was to blame. The nightmare and its aftermath meant that his Aural Pensieve had only repeated the day's lesson twice, rather than the ordinary three times.

Just to do that much, he had to skive off his morning run with Dudley. Harry was in the kitchen, wolfing down a couple of crumpets, when Dudley returned.

"So, Harry," began Dudley slowly, "you've been holding out on me, I see. Can't say that I blame you though. I would have thought you were lying, if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes."

"What are you on about?" a rather riled Harry asked.

"That pretty girl," Dudley said, raising his eyebrows. "She threw herself at you and kissed you on the lawn, right in front of my Mum and Dad. Then you both disappeared to your bedroom for - what was it - almost ten hours. You told me you didn't have a girlfriend. What you didn't say is that you had a lover instead."

Harry lost it. "HERMIONE IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND AND CERTAINLY NOT MY LOVER, you berk!" he yelled. "She's my best friend and she happens to be a girl, that's all." Harry noticed that his fingertips felt strangely warm.

"You… You're not that way, are you?" Dudley asked, making an exaggeratedly effeminate motion with his hand.

"I'm not a poofter either, all right," Harry snapped in annoyance.

"Then you're even more daft than I thought," replied Dudley breezily, as Harry scowled. "I saw the way she looked at you. So did my family. I can't believe they let you entertain her in your bedroom for hours without even once taking a peek at what you two were doing." Lowering his voice, Dudley added, "Don't know how you did it. They'd never have let me get away with that. Wait a minute…. Was she one of that crew that threatened Dad?"

Harry thought about the question, and smiled. "I guess you could say that. Still, it's the truth when I say she isn't my girlfriend. I wish she were, but she isn't." With that Harry grabbed his travelling cape and strode out of the house and headed for Mrs. Figg's fireplace.

Fortunately, that day's training - in restraining spells - was not particularly complicated, so Harry's relative lack of preparation went unnoticed. A far greater complication was that Hermione was now training with him. Her presence, and his unrequited feelings, kept Harry on edge the entire day. Little did Harry know that the edginess (and the reasons for it) was decidedly mutual.

Hermione did not appear until after Harry was well into the lesson, having finished with Petrificus totalus and with ropes and chains. She was late because she had to collect, and then stow, the same sort of pile of supplies and training materials that Harry had previously received from the quartermaster. Harry was working on binding a dummy with barbed wire shot from his wand when she arrived.

At first, Hermione was positively rhapsodic about the Aural Pensieve as a method of learning magic. Within minutes, however, she looked as bashful and tentative as Harry had ever seen her. Finally, she asked Harry a question:

"Er … Who's your partner? With your Auror's ring, I mean."

"I asked Bill to do it, since he's now my legal guardian." Harry responded.

Hermione shuffled her feet and did not look him in the eye. "Well okay then... But I was wondering…. Wondering if you might want to be my partner, since we're now training together."

Harry quickly brightened into a smile. "Of course I'll do that, Hermione. When I picked Bill, I still wasn't sure if I'd even be seeing you here…. You know … Tonks told me that Aurors always have other Aurors as their partners, and we're about as close to that as we're going to get anytime soon. It makes perfect sense. I'll just have to talk to Bill."

At their first break, Harry used Floo powder to find Bill. Bill thought the change was a good idea, but was not sure if he could get away from work that day. Bill told Harry that Gringotts was re-evaluating a number of its procedures in light of the failure to freeze the Malfoy accounts, and he had to make a report concerning some of that the next day.

Thus Harry was very surprised indeed to see Bill striding into the training room only a half an hour later.

"I forgot that you're golden with the goblins these days," Bill said, grinning. "My boss was very impressed when he found out that I was your guardian, Harry. He told me that the report could wait and that I could have the entire rest of the day off if I needed it." The re-programming of the Auror's rings, and Bill's returning his to the Aurors, went off smoothly. Harry was bidding goodbye to Bill in less than half an hour.

At lunch, Hermione was studying frantically for the afternoon lesson, since she had only just received her Aural Pensieve and had yet to be able to use it to prepare. She was surprised to see Harry studying his printed text as well. Harry explained that his sleep time the previous night had been insufficient for the recommended repetitions. That led to questions.

"Harry, what happened to break up your sleep like that?" she asked with concern in your voice. "You haven't been having…?"

"Nightmares … yes," Harry admitted. In many things, Hermione's powers of deduction were positively unnerving.

"Have you contacted Headmaster Dumbledore about it? I'm sure he would like to know," she continued.

"Doing that took longer than the dream itself," Harry answered.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

After a bit of indecision, he allowed, "Yeah, but not here."

Rather than leave their trays for the house-elves, they quickly banished them to the rubbish area. Then they left and found a more secure location - in the now deserted classroom. She took a chair facing Harry, and waited….

"It was about chess … something like First Year," Harry began. "Only it was Voldemort and a bunch of Death Eaters against me … and you … and the Weasleys … and other people I care about.

"I hope I put up a fight, at least," Hermione commented.

"You … you did…." Harry answered haltingly. "You were the … the last one left…. You were the queen…."

If that bothered Hermione, she did not show it. Indeed, she hardly reacted at all to that information.

Harry proceeded to describe the dream in as much detail as he could remember.

"…Ron died … earlier," Harry added. "Trying to protect Cho…."

"So just about everyone was in the dream," Hermione observed.

"…And they died…. Everyone I care about," Harry reaffirmed. He almost broke down as he told Hermione what he thought the dream meant. "I think Voldemort … sent it to me … to let me know…. He intends to … to kill … you … and everybody … everybody I cared about … or who cares about me…."

Hermione made Harry feel better by doing what she did best - applying rational logic to the situation. "Think about it calmly for a moment, Harry. Eight of those you saw in your dream were Weasleys. Well, four Weasleys are in the Order already, and now Arthur is also highly placed in the Ministry. If there's any family that is already well guarded, they are. Hagrid is both an Order member and on the Hogwarts faculty. Lupin is an Order member. I … I'm already under 24-7 guard, as are my parents. That leaves Neville, Luna and Cho, and they are all at Hogwarts most of the year anyway. It shouldn't be difficult for the Order and the Ministry, between them, to guard three more people for a fraction of the year, now should it?"

Harry allowed himself just a bit of a smile. Even if it seemed sometimes that the Ministry would have trouble organising a three-broom Quidditch match, when thought out, the problem did not seem so overwhelming. Hermione was like that - the best problem solver he knew.

The good feelings failed to survive the afternoon session in the Situation Room. Although she had been in training for less than a day, Hermione attacked the assignment with her customary single-minded ferocity. Despite her late start, Hermione insisted upon duelling with Harry. Harry did not really care to duel Hermione until she had fully caught up, but she insisted ("There's no other way for me to get better.").

Harry quickly had her disoriented with directional spells. He could tell that Hermione's Protego shield was little more than what she had learned in the D.A.

Rather than do something that might hurt Hermione, he used the Placebus charm in order to illustrate the flaw in her shield. Otherwise he did nothing. The idea of Harry not using his full strength whilst duelling with her seemed to enrage the girl.

"Harry Potter, you stop going easy on me this instant," Hermione shrieked. "No Death Eater will be so considerate. How am I ever going to learn to defend myself in a real fight if you won't fight me because I'm a girl?"

That was hardly Harry's reasoning, but Hermione was not inclined towards listening to reason at the moment. Reluctantly, he faced her for another duel, not at all sure what he would do if a similar situation presented itself.

This duel lasted no longer than the first - and was much nastier. Two of Harry's directional disorientation spells had Hermione not knowing which way was up. A Conjunctivitis Curse shattered her shield charm and left her unable to see at all. Frigidio encased her upper body in ice, rendering Hermione unable to move her arms. Nauseo put her on the floor retching, and Expelliarmus ended it. Although she was soundly and fairly beaten, Hermione nevertheless shot Harry a furious look.

At that moment a siren sounded, signalling the end of the day's training. Hermione ignored Harry, whilst buttonholing one of the instructors about something, so Harry left for the showers to wash. When he emerged, Hermione was nowhere to be found. He was escorted back to Number Four Privet Drive without apologising to her, as he had been planning. Harry was not at all comfortable with the parting image of Hermione on the ground in a pool of vomit, particularly knowing that he had put her there.

The next day's lesson, involving movement spells, was more physically pleasant, but not for good reasons. There was no unpleasantness because neither of them was very effective once the lesson moved beyond the most basic magic. To begin with, they could not perform the Instantermobile Charm. Cast by pointing one's wand at oneself before a duel began, and incanting "Xyzzy," Instantermobile detected unforgivable curses as they were uttered and instantly moved the target a random distance (up to 25 feet) in a random direction (but out of the line of fire). While only useful in open ground, since the user could otherwise end up splonched (caught inside of a solid object such as a wall or a tree), Instantermobile was often a lifesaver.

The reason for the two trainees' magical ineptitude was quickly identified - neither Harry nor Hermione knew how to Apparate. Most advanced movement spells involved some form of (usually short-distance) Apparition. This unanticipated turn of events led to a number of conversations amongst the trainers, from which Harry and Hermione were excluded. The trainers then needed to confer with unidentified superior officers. As a result both of them were dismissed early for lunch.

Hermione was quite talkative at lunch - not to mention well rested. Harry found out that she had wheedled some Dreamless Sleep draught from Camille Wrexham and had spent nearly eighteen hours in bed with her Aural Pensive catching up on all of her missed lessons. "You just wait, Potter, until I get you in the Situation Room today," she mock-threatened him. Harry had a feeling that his duelling with her today would not be anywhere near the walkover he had scored the day before.

He had a little news of his own. In addition to the now routine Santa Claus letters (to Hedwig's profound annoyance, Harry had been forced to engage additional owls on a piece-work basis to handle the extra deliveries), he had received more correspondence from Ron. Most of Ron's letter consisted of vainglorious boasting about how Hogwarts had won its first two serious Quidditch matches - against Beauxbatons and against host Elsinore - and that as keeper he had succeeded in totally shutting out Elsinore. A professional scout had even approached Ron, albeit on behalf of an Italian league team, about plans to play professionally after leaving school. The letter had an ecstatic, almost arrogant, tone throughout.

Nevertheless, Harry felt quite pleased for his friend. Ron had spent most of his life in the shadow of, first, his older brothers and, then, Harry knew, of himself. Thinking about his own Quidditch plans, Harry frowned. He wondered if he would be able to get enough Quidditch practice. He had N.E.W.T.-level courses in school. He wanted to continue his work with the D.A. Now he was also being besieged by all of these extracurricular things, such as his special training, the goblins, and his probable inheritances. There were too many things competing for his limited time.

Hermione also let him know that she would be seeing him tomorrow. This puzzled Harry at first because Wednesday was not a training day. He guessed blindly that it was because she had taken over the Order's visitation duties. Hermione informed him that there would be no need to continue those separate visits now that they were in training together.

The meeting tomorrow was because they were both going to Hogwarts and then to the Ministry in order to testify as state's witnesses in the inquiry involving Professor Umbridge. Hermione had also received a letter from Professor McGonagall asking her to testify, and she had agreed. From her point of view, however, there was even more exciting news.

"Guess what, Harry," Hermione enthused, practically bouncing in her chair in the Aurors' cafeteria. "Professor McGonagall wants me to participate in a Ministry sponsored original research project at Hogwarts this year. The Department of Magical Maladies has designated Hogwarts as one of its `Institutions of Excellence,' and is funding research into lycanthopy. Professors McGonagall, Flitwick and Snape all agree that a multidisciplinary approach including both Charms and Transfiguration is what's needed to improve upon the Wolfsbane potion. You've seen my O.W.L.s in those subjects, Harry, so Professor McGonagall says I'm a `natural choice' for the student research fellowship position that has been created. Even Snape agreed…. Snape! And it comes with a 50 Galleon a month stipend, so I won't have to be bothering my parents for money any more…."

Harry was gratified by this development, since anything that made it possible for Hermione to go to Hogwarts without having to pester her parents for anything was a good thing. He wondered if Dumbledore's invisible hand was behind this.

"That's great, Hermione," he said. "You wouldn't have needed to go to them anymore anyway. Remember, you're also in line for a 2,000 Galleon award from the Ministry for helping capture all those Death Eaters."

While that fact had been in the Ministry press release, it had yet to make its way into the Daily Prophet. "What!?" exclaimed Hermione. "When did that happen?" Harry spent the rest of the lunch period talking to Hermione about what had happened with Fudge and the Ministry that had not been reported. While pleased with the windfall, Hermione was disturbed by the thought of Cornelius Fudge politicising Harry's exploits.

A pleasant surprise awaited them both after lunch. Captain Shacklebolt was waiting with the news that the Ministry had authorised waiver of the Apparition age limit for the both of them. Since Hermione turned seventeen in September, the waiver saved her only a few months. Harry, however, was being allowed to learn Apparition before he even turned sixteen.

As a result, the Friday class on wilderness survival skills was being postponed by a week, and replaced with a special all-day Apparition crash course. Apparition could take considerable time to learn - the annual Hogwarts lessons (which both of them were eligible to take, for an extra fee) on the subject lasted twelve weeks. With these two, however, the Aurors were plainly hoping that their extraordinary motivation would allow them to master it in one very long day. "Be prepared to stay well into the evening," warned Shak.

Back in the Situation Room, Harry could see for himself just how motivated Hermione was. She had set herself to the task of making up four days of missed spell training in just one session. Throughout the afternoon period, she had that deadly look in her eye that he knew meant she was really concentrating. He had last seen that expression when she had led him and Professor Umbridge into the Forbidden Forest the day of the incident at the Ministry.

When the time finally came for the two of them to duel against one another, it was like night and day. Hermione was dramatically improved. She knew every spell, and was able to cast each with surprising power. Harry, however, had just received the highest Defence Against the Dark Arts O.W.L. marks in history. There was a reason for that. As good as she had become, Harry was still better.

In particular, he had his uncannily deadly aim when he was in motion. From the brief glow that a deflected stunner left on Hermione's shield charm, Harry detected a slight flaw in her protection. He did not want to hurt her, but neither did he fancy facing her wrath - something he most decidedly would if she thought that, even now, he was holding back.

Hermione shot a vicious restraining spell at him that would have trapped him in a swarm of angry hornets. Narrowly dodging it, Harry dove to his right, rolled over twice and from a prone position behind a rock yelled "Orgasimos." She went to her knees and slowly toppled over. Soaked with sweat from twenty minutes of combat, Harry gathered himself, stood and quietly said "Expelliarmus" and then "Finite," thus ending their duel.

She staggered to her feet, beet-red and panting. He hurried towards her, offering her wand back and ready to steady her. Instead of welcoming his assistance, Hermione took a wild roundhouse swing at him, the force of which knocked her wand from his outstretched hand and sent her reeling back to her knees.

"You stay away!" Hermione gasped, her eyes blazing. She reached for her wand, and pointed it at Harry. "If you do that again, I swear I'll hex you to Hong Kong - and there won't be enough of you left when you get there to fill a fortune cookie! That was totally inappropriate…. No Death Eater would ever use that spell in a duel.… Don't you ever use that on me unless you're serious…. I have never been so embarrassed…. Get away from me if you know what's good for you!" With considerable effort, Hermione stood up and practically ran to the privacy of her dressing room.

Harry stood there mutely, mouth half open, letting Hermione's abuse wash over him. When she ran off, he took two steps in the direction she had gone, before feeling a steadying hand on his shoulder. Harry turned and found himself looking into the sympathetic eyes of Andrew Carluke.

"Sit down, mate," he said. "We need to chat…."

"Wh-What … What was that all about," stammered Harry. "I didn't want to hurt her, but she warned me yesterday not to go easy on her. She was out for blood with that Hornetentious Hex."

"You've grown up with Muggles," said Carluke. "So it seems that there are still a few things that you just don't know about magic."

Harry grimaced. If he had heard that explanation once, he had heard it a thousand times, although not as often during the past few months.

Carluke continued, "The Orgasimos Curse is a legitimate disorientation spell among adversaries, particularly when an Auror is trying to capture someone unharmed. Your partner is right though. It is not a spell that a Death Eater would use, so it probably should have been deleted from your syllabus. Otherwise, Orgasimos is not really used any longer, except as a very intimate spell between lovers. Evidently the two of you aren't that - and no matter what, to use that spell in public is … well … impolite, at best."

Harry was mortified. Without even bothering to change clothes, he went to the door of the woman's dressing room and called out, "Hermione, I'm sorry." He was relieved that he got any answer at all, even if it was, "Leave me alone."

In the sanctuary of her dressing room, Hermione was struggling with her emotions. For a brief moment, she had experienced the most wonderful physical feeling in her life - and Harry had given it to her. Her own fantasies about Harry had never approached that. On the other hand, she did not have that kind of relationship with Harry, and apparently that pipedream was not about to happen….

Harry had used that spell recklessly, not knowing what he was doing. More than that, he had cast that spell on her in public and without her consent. Even though Harry had undoubtedly acted innocently - if stupidly - Hermione felt humiliated and used.

Finally, after about half an hour, Hermione emerged to find a deflated Harry slumped against the wall next to the door of her dressing room.

"Herm … Hermione, I'm sorry," Harry said softly, looking up at her with his deep green eyes. "I didn't want to hurt you like I did yesterday, so like a prat I did something that ended up hurting you even worse. I know how you feel, and I won't do that again - ever. Friends?" Harry held out his hand.

`Like Hell, you know how I'm feeling,' thought Hermione. If he had, they could be using the spell - just not in public. But Hermione's heart was melting. Try as she might, she was simply unable to stay angry at Harry.

"All right, friends," she extended her hand to his, and helped pull him to his feet.

* * * *

The next morning Harry's alarm clock blasted him out of bed half an hour earlier than even his usual 5:00 a.m. weekday schedule. He responded by blasting the unfortunate clock with an overly-strong Silencio spell that sent it flying through the wall. After he had retrieved and reconstructed the clock, and repaired the clock-shaped hole in his wall, Harry got dressed for his running. He would be alone this time, because Dudley could not be persuaded that any sane person rose at 4:30 in the morning. But Harry had no choice if he were to get his running in. It was Wednesday, and he was scheduled to testify against Umbridge. The running calmed him down and woke him up, both of which he sorely needed.

He cursed himself once again for having been too exhausted to perform his Occlumency routine before falling asleep the previous Sunday. Leaving his mind unprotected, particularly after the emotional roller coaster of that day's events, had been a major error. Even though he had successfully used Occlumency to prevent Voldemort's from obtaining further access to his mind, deaths of people he cared about were becoming a part of ordinary dreams that did not involve his scar.

After running, and otherwise preparing, Harry carefully folded his school robes and carried them to Mrs. Figg's, where he donned them and Flooed to Hogsmeade station with Bill Weasley. His timing was just about perfect, as Hermione arrived less than thirty seconds later. They boarded a waiting Thestral-drawn carriage that took them to the Castle.

Professor McGonagall met the pair at the main entrance and led them to a room adjoining the library. He had never been in that room before. That was not the case with Hermione, as she was almost giddy with enthusiasm to enter.

"Oh Harry, we're going to be meeting with the barristers in the Ceremonial Library!" she bubbled.

"Err… What's that," Harry asked with genuine puzzlement.

"You've never been here, Harry?" she responded. "It's used for smaller ceremonies such as the investiture of the Head Boy and Girl or the awarding of honourary degrees. I was here a lot during Third Year because this is also where the books on the subject of wizarding law are kept. I had to use them to prepare Buckbeak's defence to the charges of being a dangerous Hippogriff that should be destroyed."

Harry winced at Hermione's recollection because, two years later, he still felt guilty for not having helped her at all. That legal effort had been unsuccessful, and her failure had led directly to a literally later-than-last-second rescue of Buckbeak from the executioner by means of a Time Turner. Still, he had some fond memories of that rescue - many involving physical closeness - such as the tight embrace she had given him whilst riding the beast….

When Harry picked up Hermione's torrent of words again, it had rolled on to the glass-encased documents that lined the walls.

"….And this room houses the most important collection of organic wizard documents in all Great Britain. Here is a copy of the magical codicil to the Magna Carta, as signed by King John - technically sealed, as King John was illiterate - and by Wulfric Gryffindor, descendent of Godric's, on behalf of the wizard communities. Here is one of only three enrolled copies of the Wizarding Equality Treaty of 1836 still in existence, signed by Benjamin D'Israeli on behalf of the Wizard Council. Here are the originals of the treaties that ended the last two goblin rebellions. Here's an original copy of the American Declaration of Independence. Benjamin Franklin, who received an honourary Hogwarts degree in 1760, presented this to Hogwarts. And here's an original copy of the French Declaration of the Rights of Man, sent to Hogwarts as a peace offering to the English wizard populace by Napoleon in 1804."

"Hermione," said Harry in desperation, "how could you possibly know so much about a bunch of ancient documents?"

"I collect signatures myself, if you must know," sniffed Hermione, sounding somewhat hurt. "Professor McGonagall is the curator of this collection, and I discuss historically important documents with her quite often."

"Oooh, I hadn't seen this one before," squealed Hermione. "This is a signed copy of Winston Churchill's notes for his `their finest hour' speech - which in my opinion is the finest oration ever delivered in the English language."

"Winston Churchill was a wizard?" Harry croaked with incredulity.

Professor McGonagall broke into the conversation. "No Harry, Winston Spencer Churchill was a Squib. The magic in that family always resided on the female side," she said, emphasizing the sex distinction. "For many generations the duchesses of Marlborough were all witches, some quite powerful. They still…" McGonagall paused "…although Winston's father married an American Muggle."

McGonagall undoubtedly saved him from what would certainly have been Hermione's even longer exegesis about a hobby never before disclosed to Harry. His thoughts about what else he might not know about his best female friend after five years were cut short by McGonagall's introduction of Waldo Copperfield and Carmella Dewey, barristers for the Wizengamot. They were representing the prosecutor's office in the Umbridge inquiry.

Harry was somewhat reserved, given the circumstances, leaving Hermione to break the ice. She did so quickly did by establishing that Mr. Copperfield was the second cousin of a famous American illusionist (whose existence was totally unknown to Harry), of the same surname. Even so, he found it most ironic that the supposed magician was actually from the Muggle side of that family.

Mr. Copperfield explained that the inquiring magistrate, who was Amelia Bones, would ask all the questions. That Magistrate Bones herself was presiding indicated how seriously the Ministry was taking the charges laid against Professor Umbridge.

The prosecuting barristers could submit questions or topics to Magistrate Bones, but as inquiring magistrate she had complete discretion over what testimony to take. Professor Umbridge's barrister would have the same rights. When the hearings were over, a decision as to whether to prosecute would be made. If there were a full trial, Umbridge's fate would be decided by a select panel of the Wizengamot, presided over by Dumbledore.

Three witnesses were scheduled to testify that day. Harry would go first, followed by (to Harry's great surprise and even greater disgust) Draco Malfoy. There would then be a lunch break, and Hermione would testify in the afternoon.

As lead prosecuting barrister, Mr. Copperfield would be present for Harry's and Hermione's testimony, as they were state's witnesses. Ms. Dewey would be present when Malfoy gave evidence. Mr. Copperfield explained that the rules of procedure for the private inquiry portion of the prosecution required that all of the witnesses be sequestered. This meant that Harry could not be present to listen to either Hermione's or Malfoy's testimony.

For the next hour, Harry reviewed his testimony with Mr. Copperfield whilst Ms. Dewey met with Hermione. Unlike his friend's evidence, his testimony was two-fold. He was to describe his detentions with Professor Umbridge and demonstrate the properties of Umbridge's torture quills (which Copperfield called "blood" quills). In addition, Harry was to testify regarding Umbridge's confession that she had ordered Dementors to attack him the previous summer in an attempt to get him expelled from Hogwarts for underage use of magic in the presence of Muggles.

While Harry was under no obligation to testify under Veritaserum, Mr. Copperfield explained that if he were willing to take the potion upon demand, his credibility would be enhanced. Grimly determined to do whatever necessary to convict Professor Umbridge, Harry agreed. Mr. Copperfield was even more pleased with his suggestion that, instead of using truth serum, it would be better to use a Pensieve to augment his testimony. A good barrister is a showman, and Copperfield could appreciate that the visual impact of Pensieve testimony would be greater than Veritaserum.

As Hermione's testimony was less involved, Mr. Copperfield would meet with her during Malfoy's testimony and during lunch, if necessary. Because the prosecution was not sure what Malfoy would say, Mr. Copperfield requested that Harry stay in an adjacent room to be available for consultation whilst the ferret was on the witness stand.

After that, Harry would be excused, so he had the rest of the day off. He was uncertain whether or not to wait around for Hermione until she told him in no uncertain terms not to. Rather than waiting for her, Hermione instructed him that he would be better off studying his next day's Auror lessons (object charms) or practicing Occlumency.

Mr. Copperfield explained to both his witnesses that they would be able to avoid quite a few difficult questions by asserting privileges of state's security. Whatever might betray the identity of members of the Order of the Phoenix was off limits, as was anything that might expose Auror procedures or compromise Ministry security - meaning that practically anything having to do with the events at the Ministry was out of bounds.

The inquiry hearing was conducted in a much more relaxed atmosphere than Harry's hearing before the full Wizengamot the previous August. Instead of a massive stone courtroom with witness chairs that had chains to bind prisoners, the inquiry took place in Magistrate Bones' airy second-level office. Upon entering the inquiry room, Harry observed a raised dais where Magistrate Bones sat, a couple of chairs set aside for her clerks, and a couple of low tables for the lawyers. A youngish blonde woman was operating some machinery, the function of which Harry did not understand. The lawyers told him that she was a court reporter. To make sure he was heard properly, he was required to look in the reporter's direction as much as possible whilst speaking. Nevertheless, he also needed to pay respectful attention to Magistrate Bones whilst being asked questions.

Harry provided what the prosecuting barristers thought was excellent, and at times dramatic, testimony. Although the process was occasionally tedious, such as having to list names of quite a few other potential witnesses, the overall testimony was compelling. His story of how Professor Umbridge attempted to break his will through repeated detentions involving blood quills clearly resonated with Magistrate Bones, especially because the disciplinary action involved Harry's insistence that Voldemort had returned. His position had been validated in the most dramatic fashion possible only weeks before - and those revelations were still reverberating thorough wizarding England.

Magistrate Bones' sharp insufflation was audible when Harry demonstrated on his own wrist the blood quill found in Umbridge's office. In her hasty departure, the former owner of the quill had forgotten to remove its enchantment. In open court, when Harry wrote "I must not tell lies" on a piece of parchment provided by Mr. Copperfield, the words appeared sliced into the back of Harry's hand and drew copious blood. Harry explained in excruciating detail how he wrote lines with this quill (or one like it) hundreds of times a night during detentions lasting over several weeks. He described how the wounds eventually failed to heal, and how he had resorted to essence of Murtlap tentacles to ease the pain.

When Harry's testimony turned to the Dementor attack, the defence predictably sought administration of Veritaserum. Harry offered the Pensieve as an alternative, and Magistrate Bones opted for both. Both Harry and the prosecutors objected that unlimited questioning under Veritaserum threatened security concerns such as the identities of Order members and the inner workings of the Order and the Ministry. It was agreed that, if Harry had a concern about his answers, he could confer with Mr. Copperfield before he had to answer any question on the record. This was possible because, while Veritaserum precluded false answers, it did not prevent Harry from pausing to allow objections.

The defence submitted a long list of questions designed to show that Harry was a rule breaker and had a vendetta against Professor Umbridge. However, many of these inquiries - such as what Harry had been doing in Umbridge's office in the first place on the day at issue - were deflected by security-based objections. All sides finally agreed to stipulate that "Voldemort had attacked Mr. Potter's mind with a disturbing vision, regarding which Mr. Potter was attempting to contact members of the Order." It was uncontested that the only unmonitored Floo-connected fireplace at Hogwarts was in Professor Umbridge's office.

Harry testified that Professor Umbridge admitted that she had ordered the Dementor attack in front of not only her Inquisitorial Squad, but also five students (besides Harry) who were being forcibly detained. The testimony identifying them was held confidential and placed under Wizengamot seal because it was the first time that the identities of all six student participants in the "events at the Ministry" had been revealed.

Harry not only presented this testimony under Veritaserum, but also provided visual proof by temporarily transferring his memory of the relevant events to a special Ministry Pensieve reserved for judicial use. The Pensieve was much shallower and broader than the Pensieves to which Harry was accustomed. He had to smile at the slightly ridiculous sight of Magistrate Bones, the defence barrister and the court reporter all frozen in place, heads vanished in the Pensieve viewing Harry's disembodied memories.

Watching the proceedings was a bailiff, who pulled the three of them out once Harry's memory had run its course. After it was over, and his memory returned to him, Harry inferred that Dumbledore's talent for using a Pensieve without immersing his head and going dead to the world was not a widely held skill - but then very little about the Headmaster was ordinary.

Harry thought that the last 45 minutes of his testimony - about what had happened after Hermione's faked confession had deterred Professor Umbridge from using the Cruciatus curse on Harry (another audible gasp from Magistrate Bones) - was a colossal waste of time. Magistrate Bones indulged the defence barrister rather more than Harry (or Mr. Copperfield, who objected throughout on relevance grounds) thought necessary regarding Hermione's successful ruse against Professor Umbridge in the Forbidden Forest.

Fortunately, anything regarding the reasons for or method of travel to the Ministry was excluded on security grounds. By the time Harry was through, the court record contained a detailed and humourous (the court reporter giggled audibly on a couple of occasions) account of how Hermione had pranked Professor Umbridge and engineered her capture by angry centaurs.

After Harry was excused, he left the hearing room for an anteroom to wait out Draco Malfoy's testimony. In the corridor, Harry briefly found himself face to face with his long-time adversary, who was in a state quite unlike any Harry had ever seen. Not only were his robes uncharacteristically wrinkled, but Malfoy smelled slightly of Firewhiskey and disinfectant. Harry had never seen Malfoy less than immaculately dressed in a public setting before. His pale blond hair was neat, but badly trimmed. His grey-blue eyes were slightly wild and unfocused, and he was wringing his hands.

One thing that never changed, however, was Malfoy's hatred of Harry. If anything, that loathing seemed to have increased. The blonde boy's cheeks flushed and his eyes narrowed as he spotted his enemy. The only other person in the hallway was Malfoy's barrister, who was engaged in an animated conversation with a small mirror, and not paying particular attention to his young client.

"Harry Potter, Mudblood lover," sneered Malfoy.

"Draco Malfoy, junior Death Nibbler," sneered Harry right back at him. "I hope they put your father under Azkaban, not just in it."

"I told you before, you're a dead man, Potter," Malfoy continued, fixing Harry with a strange stare. "The Dark Lord will not be denied." In a lower and more serious voice, Draco hissed, "Don't go trying to steal my birthright, Potter, if you know what's good for you. Do it and you die - and your Mudblood whore along with you."

Harry was almost ready to launch himself at Malfoy again, and damn the consequences. "Sod off, you pathetic bastard! You've always hidden behind daddy's money, and now everyone is going to see how worthless you truly are! You never could catch the Snitch, Malfoy," responded Harry. "You've got no chance of catching me."

The shouting match was on the verge of coming to blows, when Malfoy was unexpectedly propelled backwards as if shoved by some unseen force. The boy awkwardly collided with his barrister - who gave Harry an exceedingly dirty look. Not a moment too soon the barrister pulled Malfoy away from Harry and frogmarched his client into the hearing room. Harry stared venomously at Malfoy until the door had closed and the other boy was out of sight.

A little shaken - and a lot angry - Harry entered the empty anteroom and waited to see if the prosecuting barristers had any questions for him about Malfoy's testimony. Harry had no doubt that it would be a pack of lies intended to save Professor Umbridge's sorry skin. He was accustomed to Malfoy being an arrogant git, but something different bothered Harry about Malfoy's attitude this time.

Malfoy seemed less scheming and more reckless than Harry had ever seen him. He had obviously been badly affected by his father's sudden fall from grace to Azkaban and by the confiscation of his father's wealth. He did not understand Malfoy's raving about a birthright - not that it much mattered. Harry was already quite aware that he had to watch his back any time Malfoy was around. Such a lovely thought for Harry's upcoming Sixth Year at Hogwarts.

There was little to break the utter boredom of the empty anteroom other than watching stray pages from old Daily Prophets that he had already read fluttering about. Harry wished he had brought some course material to read - as he was sure Hermione had. The tedium was almost uninterrupted. There were only a couple of legal consultations over the ensuing hour.

From what Harry could gather, Malfoy's story was that he and Professor Umbridge had met beforehand and plotted an effort to break Harry's will using psychological pressure. The claim about the Dementors and the attempted Cruciatus were ruses designed to bring that about. The attempt was abandoned when Hermione seemed to have thrown in the towel to protect Harry.

Harry pointed out the obvious flaw in Malfoy's story. Neither the Slytherin nor Professor Umbridge could have known ahead of time that they would catch Harry in her office. His decision to use her Floo connection was largely spur of the moment - indeed, Hermione had attempted to dissuade him until the last possible instant. Malfoy also hurt his own credibility when he invoked his right as a Time Immemorial Pureblood (a pureblood whose ancestry predated the reign of Richard I) to avoid having to testify under oath or under the influence of Veritaserum.

After being excused, Harry was free to leave. He looked for Bill Weasley and found him in the Ministry cafeteria. Both of them were hungry, so they decided to buy some food before exiting. Whilst waiting in line with Bill, Harry's eyes narrowed as he briefly caught sight of Malfoy, who had evidently also finished his testimony. Bill was chatting with a member of Wizland Revenue about some problem Gringotts was having with taxes, and missed seeing Malfoy. The ferret, after giving Harry another furious look, disappeared into the men's room.

As Bill and Harry were taking their lunch to a booth, they found themselves intercepted by Fred and George Weasley. The Twins looked horribly resplendent in ostentatious dragon hide zoot suits with five-inch side vents inlaid with cloth of gold. The twins claimed that they had been looking for Harry all morning. They rushed to fill the remaining two seats in the booth so quickly that they collided with a balding wizard who was headed for a solitary lunch in the adjacent booth. The bald wizard muttered something uncomplimentary under his breath at the Twins' unconvincing apology.

"Harry, my good friend, my boon companion, and teenage idol…," began Fred.

"My bosom buddy and one-third silent partner…," continued George.

"I couldn't believe my eyes when I first saw it. I hadn't realised that you'd grasped the price of fame," said Fred.

"I was greatly surprised that you didn't think of us when the urge came over you to capitalise on your capital adventures," said George.

"We could do better by you because you are our partner," said George.

"You could do better by us because we are your partners," affirmed Fred.

"Will you two please explain what in blazes you're on about?" broke in a thoroughly confused Harry.

"Ah, mate, we were pierced to the quick when we learned that you had chosen to bestow your first commercial endorsement upon another," continued George.

"Imagine our consternation when we learned - purely by personal experience mind you - that you had elected to peddle your visage to the Cadbury's corporate behemoth," exclaimed Fred. With that both of the Twins produced copies of Harry Potter Chocolate Frog cards. Bowing low in mock prostration they chanted. "All hail Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived … to make a tidy profit off his own mug."

"Seriously," Fred said, no longer joking, "when you decided to go the endorsement route, why didn't you come to us? You're already an equity holder in Weasley Wizard Wheezes, and your endorsement of our products would mean a lot more to you - not to mention to us and to our customer base - than to the bloodless MBA types at Cadbury's."

"We'd like you to say nice things about our products too," said George, "and we can make it worth your while. You can have, for personal use, all of our products that you want, from our old reliable Extendable Ears to our latest creation, Skunk Sauce."

"Put a little skunk sauce in your - or better, someone else's - food, and in five minutes or less the resulting flatulence can clear out a classroom or a common room," grinned Fred. "Skunk sauce can knock a buzzard off a dung heap, and it comes with a double-your-stink-back guarantee."

"But you've already promised me all the joke products I can use," replied Harry. "Really though, I'm sorry I didn't go with you lot first, but you couldn't solve my problem. I had a very immediate need for some Muggle spending money, and Cadbury offered a contract that did that, and at just the right time. I really think WWW sells the most wicked joke products around, and I'd be happy to endorse you for free."

"Oh no, knight-errant," replied Fred with a knowing grin. "We will not ask of you the source of such urgent need." Dropping his voice to a stage whisper, Fred continued, "since our father has already told us that you planned to enter the dragon to retrieve your lost lady love." Harry grimaced, but Fred placed his hand over his heart in a dramatic gesture and added. "You've lost your amateur status now, Sir Harryhad. We can't allow ourselves to take your charity."

Finally, George got to the point. "What we'd like you to do, oh partner of ours, is attend the grand opening of our first branch store. We've acquired premises in Hogsmeade now, as well as Diagon Alley, in order to serve our customer base better. Whenever the school's first Hogsmeade weekend is scheduled, we'd like to raise a big banner with your face on it announcing that you will be present to help introduce our new fall line of academically disruptive offerings. We'll give you an extra 25% of the profits from all sales that weekend."

"Of course I'll do it," enthused Harry. "So what exactly should we do?"

Seeing that Harry and his younger brothers were going to be some time in planning the minutiae of the grand opening, Bill excused himself to visit the Wizland Revenue Department about the Gringotts tax problem. Harry promised not to leave the cafeteria until Bill got back. The three went on with their planning for about fifteen minutes. Harry could tell that one thing the Twins needed badly was a good solicitor to deal with the Ludicrous Patents Office.

He had just finished giving the Twins Blackie Howe's business card - and insisting that Howe's fee be charged to his account - when Harry noticed the same blonde woman he had seen in the courtroom approaching their booth. She was about Hermione's height, and she carried a Muggle stenographic pad and Biro rather than a lunch tray.

"Excuse me," she broke in," I'm Eliza Marie Brookings, certified court reporter, and I need to speak to Mister Potter."

Harry's first impression was that Ms. Brookings was probably quite pretty, although the severely formal business robes she wore successfully concealed much of the physical evidence. Fred and George evidently shared Harry's assessment. They practically fell all over themselves standing up and making dramatic introductions. George tried to get her business card, saying that the two of them "might be in need of transcription services for our next Annual General Meeting."

"I need to meet with Mister Potter alone," Ms Brookings replied archly. "He gave highly confidential testimony this morning."

"Some blokes have all the luck," said George, hastily preparing to depart. "Can't beat Teen Witches Weekly."

"Don't blow it, mate," added Fred. "Maybe you can bring us another customer.…"

George continued, with a leering grin, "We'd be willing to hold our Annual General Meeting in Bora Bora…."

"Out … now," ordered Ms. Brookings. She mockingly hurled a bread roll at the Twins' retreating backsides, and then deftly directed the roll to a rubbish bin with a flick of her wand. "What I'd give simply to be treated as a professional…. Anyway, Mister Potter, I've gone over the rough copy of your transcript and I have a few questions I need to ask to ensure accuracy…."

Neither of them noticed as one of the Weasley Twins' old reliable products crept over the edge of the booth.

For the next half an hour Harry and Ms. Brookings went over his transcript line by line, correcting the spelling of numerous names, fixing broken syntax and generally making sure that Harry's testimony read the way he had intended it. Bill came by, having finished with Wizland Revenue, and told Harry that he would be waiting in the bar when Harry was done.

As they were finishing, Harry said, "That's the end of it then. Miss Brookings, I'd like to apologise for the behavior of my … er … business associates earlier. They're just jokers, not malicious. If it's any consolation, I think that you've been very thorough and that you're a consummate professional."

Ms. Brookings smiled demurely and blushed slightly. "Thank you very much Mister Potter, you may call me Eliza. I'm sure that I'll be transcribing your testimony again."

"How so?" asked Harry, somewhat puzzled.

"I'm only filling in on the Umbridge inquiry because the regular reporter was out sick with the Doxy Pox," said Ms. Brookings. "But I'm the regular reporter on the Sirius Black inquiry and related will contest. As one of the principal interested parties, I'm sure your testimony will be taken. Mister Malfoy testified last week…."

"Lucius Malfoy is in Azkaban," broke in Harry. "As everyone knows, I helped put him there. How could he possibly be testifying…?"

"Not Lucius Malfoy," Ms. Brookings interrupted, "Draco Mal…."

"What does bloody Draco Malfoy have to do with anything?" asked Harry, his temper instantly rising when he heard the name. A swirl of breeze sent the loose paper serviettes on the table flying - just as loose pages of the Prophet had swirled earlier when he had entered the anteroom in a similar state of upset.

"Please calm down Mr. Potter. I'm… I'm sorry that I've upset you. I'll just be on…." stammered Ms. Brookings.

Harry's hand flew to her wrist. "Please wait just a bit…, Eliza. I'm very sorry about that. I shouldn't have done it, and it won't happen again, I promise. I'm afraid I'm just surprised, that's all. What does any Malfoy have to do with Sirius - I guess you know he was my godfather - or his will? Sirius hated all Malfoys."

Harry heard Ms. Brookings - no, Eliza - gasp in the same shocked fashion as Magistrate Bones during his testimony. "Har… Mister Potter, are you serious? You mean that you don't know?"

The implication that, yet again, Harry was ignorant of something very important caused him great annoyance, but this time he exercised greater self-control. He could not let this woman get away before he got some idea of what Dumbledore - damn Dumbledore - was still keeping from him. "No, I don't know," said Harry emotionlessly.

"Do you know who is the heir to the last will and testament of Orion Black, if not Sirius Black?" Ms. Brookings asked.

"I did not know there was another heir," Harry responded.

This time it was Ms. Brookings' turn to show some emotion, if only by the half-shocked, half-worried expression that crossed her face. "Why the Malfoy barristers will tear you to shreds if you walk this cluelessly into the hearing room," she said as much to herself as to Harry.

"Please - Eliza," Harry practically pleaded. Looking Ms. Brookings straight in the eye, he said huskily, "everybody has been hiding things from me - for years, it seems. I don't know what is going on. Please, will you tell me the truth?"

For a moment, Eliza Marie Brookings simply stared wide-eyed into Harry's sad green eyes. Then, with a slight nod of her head, she made up her mind. She reached into her handbag and pulled out a small piece of paper and briefly scribbled on it. In a low voice barely above a whisper, she said, "I could lose my job for this…. But you have a right to know what you're getting into. Here's my card. That's my Muggle phone number on the back. I live in Muggle London. Give me a call and we'll get together somewhere we can talk openly. But nobody can know about this, you understand? Nobody."

Harry silently nodded and closed his fist around the business card.

"Good day, Mr. Potter, and thank you for your cooperation," Ms. Brookings said loudly in her mock cheerful voice as she made to leave the room.

Leaving the Ministry, Eliza Marie Brookings was feeling almost breathless with her own audacity. She had just agreed to involve herself in the highest stakes wizard litigation in well over a century - in direct violation of the confidentiality pledge she had signed as a court reporter. Not to mention that she had just agreed to meet privately and secretly with the young man whom the Wizard press had taken to calling (among other things) the most eligible bachelor wizard in all Britain, if not the world.

Leaving the Ministry, Harry James Potter was feeling almost breathless with anger and frustration. He had just discovered that, despite all his protestations of openness, Headmaster Dumbledore was still keeping him in total ignorance of some very important matters involving his deceased godfather, Sirius Black, the Black and Malfoy families, and evidently a very, very large amount of money. Not to mention that he had just agreed to meet privately and secretly with a very pretty, intelligent, and independent witch, significantly older than he, about whom he knew next to nothing.

Harry was very quiet as he travelled back to Privet Drive with his guardian Bill Weasley. Bill had always been his friend and confidant, but right now Harry was not viewing him as such. Rather, Bill was no different than the rest of the Order of the Phoenix - an agent of Dumbledore's who must be evaded if Harry was ever going to learn the truth of what he was "getting into."

* * * *

Author's notes: The chess dream sequence has Harry short a bishop and a pawn; the identities of the missing (dead) pieces should be self-evident

A sand wedge is a golf club

The "three-broom Quidditch match" crack, is a variant of an old joke about screwing up a three-car funeral

"Institutions of excellence" is a play on the current British educational "centres of excellence initiative"

Xyzzy comes from an early computer game in which is served approximately this function

Walkover is a racing term, for a race in only one registered horse remains. The horse only has to walk the course to win the race

Harry's and Hermione's ages match HPB, Hermione being about nine months older. September birthdays are the hardest to fit into the academic calendar

The discussion of Apparition has been modified to conform to HBP

This use of the Orgasimos Charm was predictable, but the reaction to it is not. In her anger Hermione lets a little something slip

King John, the royal signer of the Magna Carta (also king at the time of the Robin Hood legend) was illiterate. The Magna Carta was signed in 1215 - a couple of hundred years after Hogwarts was founded. A major wizard line like Gryffindor would likely have survived that long

I've made both Ben Franklin and Napoleon Bonaparte wizards. Both were so gifted in their respective areas of expertise that their contemporaries would not have been surprised

Hermione's collecting signatures plays a minor future role

Hermione is not alone in her assessment of the "their finest hour" speech

The discussion of Winston Churchill continues a previous riff. Nothing much will come of it this year, although it would figure prominently in a Seventh Year fic. There's enough here already for knowledgeable Anglophiles to figure it out, although more will be provided later

I've introduced solicitor Howe. This chapter introduces barrister Dewey. These names are derived from an old lawyer joke about a law firm named Dewey, Cheetum and Howe. In Britain, attorneys who appear in court (at the bar) are called barristers, and lawyers who only do deals are called solicitors

The American illusionist is, of course, David Copperfield

This is a reasonably accurate description of how criminal inquiries are conducted in Britain, including how lawyers play games with state security claims

The reasons for Malfoy's odd characteristics are explained later

Harry has a way of doing unusual things when he's angry

"Time immemorial" under English law means anything (usually possession of land) that predated the reign of Richard I

The Twins' clothing is taken from "Cut My Hair" by the Who: "Zoot suit, white jacket with side vents five inches long"

The "knock a buzzard off a shit pile" line comes from George Carlin

Fred's "enter the dragon" reference is to the famous Bruce Lee movie

A knight-errant is one who wanders the countryside in search of adventure - not terribly inapt here

Sir Harryhad is a take off on Sir Galahad. For almost all of this fic, the comparison is accurate

A "Biro" is European slang for a ballpoint pen, it being the name of the inventor Laszlo Biro

An annual general meeting is a corporate shareholders' meeting

Bora Bora is in Tahiti. It's unfortunately gotten rather overbuilt as of late.

So who is eavesdropping on the conversation?

- 39 -

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