Title: Remember To Forget
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Towards the end of a very strange seventh year, Hermione is attacked late one night by an unknown assailant. It is this attack that causes her memory to reset, taking her mind back six months… back to when she was dating Ron, not Harry…
Authors Notes: Trying not to give spoilers here… the line comes from 'This Photograph Is Proof (I Know You Know)' by Taking Back Sunday. It was going to be something else, but I had that song on repeat and it fitted… you'll know it when you see it…
Five
'Hey.'
Harry jumped as he sat on the desk in the empty classroom, staring out at the grounds. He looked up and saw Ginny standing in the doorway.
'Hey yourself.'
He sighed and jumped down from the desk and faced her. Ginny smiled softly at him and he returned the smile half-heartedly. They hadn't spoken in two weeks.
'So…' he said, walking a bit closer to her and leaning against a chair. 'You wanted something?'
'It's been hell,' she said, starting to pace. 'Harry, why can't we talk without arguing?
'I don't know Gin, I really don't,' he sighed and looked at the floor. 'Perhaps because the woman I love thinks I love you?'
'We've been fighting since before this.
'I know,' she laughed and stood in front of him. 'Quite a mess we're all in, really. It'll be funny in a few years time. Something to tell the kids…' she paused. 'Harry…'
'Gin…' Harry started, but Ginny took a few steps forward until she was eye to eye with him.
'Harry… I miss you…'
Harry placed his hand over hers and looked down into her eyes. This was going to be the hardest thing in the world.
'Gin… I don't miss you…' he paused and moved her hand off his arm. 'I miss her.'
She looked away and wiped the tears from her eyes.
'I know,' she said, looking back at him and smiling.
'And you asked… why we're always fighting,' he exhaled softly. 'Perhaps this is the reason- we feel two totally different things.'
All Ginny could do was nod. She was ready to burst into tears. This was worse than the arguments, worse than all the times they had broken up. This was final…She turned and started to head towards the door.
'Gin- wait,' he called and she stopped, but didn't turn to face him.
'Can we just be friends? I still want you in my life. In some small form- you're still important to me.'
She turned to him at those words and gave a faint smile.
'Of course.'
With a swish of the door she was gone and Harry fell into the seat he was leaning on. The past two weeks of his life had been hell. Pretending to Hermione that they were back in the past was taking its toll on him emotionally. It hurt him every single time he was near her, which was why he had taken to spending a lot of time hiding in classrooms all over the school. It was easier than facing her and listening to the same things he had listened to six months ago about how Ron didn't treat her right.
At least he didn't have to see her in class. He was grateful to Minerva for coming up with the solution that she had. It saved him from a lot of unneeded heartache through the day. It saved everyone from having to pretend.
It was getting close to dinner time and he pushed himself out of the chair and started to make his way slowly down to the great hall. He knew all the short cuts in the castle and took the ones that would mean he was less likely to run into people he knew.
It seemed amazing to Harry that no matter what was going on in his life, he always ended up alone. It was the pattern in his life. Left alone by his parents. Left alone by the Dursley's. Back in first year, he was left alone to face Quirrell. Left alone in the chamber of secrets at the end of second year. Left alone to fight the dementors at the end of third and Voldemort at the end of fourth.
And now he was left alone to find the last horcuxes. Ron didn't give a damn, he had Hermione 'back' in his life again- Harry had hardly spoken to him over the past two weeks. And he didn't care too- Ron was better off with Hermione.
'I don't need you!' Harry bellowed as he stood one of his shortcuts. 'I'm doing fine on my own! As always!'
'Harry?'
Harry spun around and had to grab the wall. Hermione was standing there, watching him with a curious look on her face.
'Harry, are you ok?'
'Fine,' he said through gritted teeth.
'I haven't seen you around much.'
'Researching,' he grunted, turning and starting to walk away.
'Why won't you talk to me?' she called after him and he stopped and took a deep breath.
'Harry,' she said, her voice laughing and teasing him. 'Harry, c'mon!'
'Nope- not talking to you,' Harry said, turning his face away from her.
'Harry- it was an accident. An accident.'
'Oh sure, an accident, whatever you say Hermione- I'm still not talking to you,' he said, turning his whole body away from her. 'And don't make that face at me!'
'I wasn't making a face!' she exclaimed. 'C'mon Harry, I'm sorry! Talk to me! I really didn't mean to kick you there!'
He turned slowly and looked her in the eyes.
'You're so cute,' he whispered and she laughed.
'Even when I hurt you?'
'Well, no. But you're cute when you're begging for me to talk to you.'
'What do you mean?' he asked, standing still, his palms going sweaty.
'What do I mean? I mean you're avoiding me- we've hardly spoken since I got out of the hospital! I get attacked and need my friends near me and my best friend decides he needs to 'research'?'
'Well, I don't have much longer left to use the Hogwart's library,' he said evenly.
'That's the biggest load of bull I ever heard.'
He stayed where he was and could hear the sound of her shoes clicking on the stone floor as she made her way towards him.
'Harry, you're hiding something from me,' she said quietly. 'I know you are. I know everyone is. I just don't know what it is.'
Harry could look at her. He knew that if he looked into those deep, brown eyes he would see his Hermione lurking there. The Hermione who made him feel like a person. The Hermione who loved him. Not this… imitation Hermione. He wanted his Hermione back and he was dying being so close to her and not being able to say anything.
'Please, Harry,' she whispered back. 'Help me.'
Harry's senses were working in overtime. His head was telling him that he couldn't. His heart was telling him that he should. And his stomach was telling him that it was time for dinner.
He didn't reply. He didn't know how. Instead he just walked away, down the corridor and out of the tapestry at the far end. Hermione watched him go, tears rolling down her cheeks. The last two weeks had been hell. Trying to adjust to what had happened to her in the forest, trying to remember what had happened to her, trying to adjust to her new lessons… she was so all over the place that she almost didn't know left from right.
She walked the opposite way to Harry, back up to the common room. She knew Ron would be at dinner and it would give her time alone. Ron was number one on the list of things confusing her. Harry was second and then everything else on her mind all jumbled up and became number three.
She sat down at the window seat in the common room and watched the storm rolling across the grounds. The rain was slow and steady and the lighting was beautiful. Despite the fact that her mind was moving at a hundred miles an hour, she fell fast asleep.
When she awoke the room was completely pitch black. And a note had been left in her hand. She was curious- who would be leaving her notes like that. She held it in her hand for several moments, before carefully opening it.
Drop everything, start it all over. Remember more than you'd like to forget.
'Drop everything, start it all over?' she said to herself, rereading the note over and over again. 'Well that's just stupid.'
She scrunched the note up into a ball and threw it in the fire, before heading up to her dormitory.