Love, Lies, and a Secret
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.
Thanks Michelle Moonshine for the beta and all her help!
Chapter 4: Relationship
"Harry," he heard Ron's voice when he arrived at his flat. "We need to talk."
"Not now, Ron," Harry said, slight annoyance evident in his voice. "I'm really tired." He continued on his way to his bedroom.
"Harry, please," Ron pleaded.
Harry stopped and sighed heavily. "Okay, Ron," he finally said. "Talk."
"Er, right," the redhead replied awkwardly. "Why don't we sit down?" He indicated the sofa with a gesture of his arm.
Without saying a word, Harry walked over to the armchair and sat down. Ron followed suit and sat on the sofa. After a few minutes of tense silence, Ron finally opened his mouth, "I'm sorry."
Harry couldn't help but laugh dryly. "You're saying sorry to me?" he inquired in obvious disbelief.
"Well, yeah," Ron said, uncomfortably. "You know, for what I said to Hermione--"
Harry shook his head. "I can't believe you! Ron, it isn't me you have to apologise to. It's Hermione! You know, your girlfriend! The amazing girl that you said awful things to!"
Ron scratched the back of his head nervously. "I didn't mean what I said. She just made me so mad! And before I knew it, I had said all of these terrible things! I wasn't thinking…"
"Yeah, Ron, you're right! You didn't think at all!" Harry exclaimed. "You know she doesn't want to get married right now. You know she wants to finish her training first, but you still insisted, Ron! You insisted on something you already knew the answer to."
The redhead stood up from the sofa and began to pace around the room. "I like her, Harry. I like her a lot."
"I know you do," Harry said simply.
"I just want to be with her. You know, get married, and have children-"
"And I am sure you'll do all those things, Ron! You and Hermione will get married, and have children. Just not yet."
"That's what I don't understand! Why not yet? Why does she want to wait so bloody long?"
Harry sighed. Ron could be so difficult sometimes. "Ron--"
Ron held up a hand, making Harry stop. "Don't, Harry, I already know all that bullshit about work, money and whatever! She wants to work after we get married? Fine, I think I can deal with that. I can manage her working half period." Harry shook his head. "I know that in the beginning there can be problems, but my parents got married straight after they left Hogwarts! Okay, so they didn't have money, but they did build a happy family."
Harry sat in silence. Ron continued, "Do you want to know what I want, Harry? What I dream about? I dream about Hermione. Hermione and I together, sharing things."
Harry raised an eyebrow at him. "But you and Hermione are together."
"No, Harry," Ron shook his head. "I mean together. You know…"
"Yeah, I know what you mean. Ron, seriously, between you and me… do you want to marry Hermione so badly just so you can finally sleep with her?" Harry asked slowly, trying not to show his anger.
"Of course not! I like her! I want to get married because I like her but--" He took a deep breath. "I am a guy, Harry! My body has needs!"
"I'm a guy too," Harry muttered, but Ron didn't hear him.
"I'm twenty years old, mate. I understand she wants to wait but-" he shrugged. "I just want to be with her. Harry, don't you have any curiosity?"
"C-Curiosity? About what?" Harry asked even though he knew exactly what Ron was talking about.
"You know, about being with a girl…er…having sex."
Harry shifted uncomfortably in his armchair. He really didn't want to talk about sex with Ron.
"So, don't you?" insisted Ron.
"Er…"
Ron raised an eyebrow at his friend. There was something odd about the way Harry was acting, and suddenly he came to the realisation. Harry never seemed to be curious or excited about sex. He always seemed so cool…
Before Ron could say anything, Harry stood up from the armchair, faking a yawn. "I'm really tired, Ron," he said, getting up to go to his room.
"You did, didn't you?" It wasn't really a question. Harry closed his eyes only to open them a moment later. Slowly, he nodded his head.
"Yes, Ron, I had sex." Ron's expression was difficult to read. "And no, it wasn't with Ginny."
"Did you cheat on her?" Ron asked seriously.
"No! I swear! It was right after the Final Battle. We weren't together. I could never-"
"It was Hermione, then?"
Harry gasped. "Who do you think I am, Ron?"
"I don't know, Harry. I don't know. I am supposed to be your best friend but you never told me."
"Ron, I'm sorry if I never told you. It was just a one-night thing, okay? Ask me if it was good; yeah, it was great! But please don't ask me who the girl was."
Ron seemed deep in thought. "So," he finally said, a smile playing on his lips. "It's good, then?"
Harry rolled his eyes. "Yeah, Ron, it's really good."
"Better than…you know…in the shower…"
"God, Ron, you can't compare your hand to a real girl!"
~*~*~*~
Ministry of Magic
Auror Department
September 20, 2000
11:45 am
"Potter, Turpin," Kingsley said to Harry and Lisa. "Very good work. You two got an Outstanding in the last simulation. Good."
"Thank you, sir," they said simultaneously, pleasant smiles on their lips.
"However," Kingsley lifted up his hand. "There are a few things that need to be improved upon. Turpin--"
"Yes, sir?"
"Turpin, you did well, but you need to work on your nerves. You'll be a fine Auror; you just need to focus a little more."
Lisa nodded in understanding. "I will do better next time, sir."
"Right," the senior Auror replied, turning to Harry. "You, Potter…you are better than a lot of fully trained Aurors I know. You really have the--" Kingsley paused, trying to think of a good word to describe what he was meaning to say. "The thing. You really have the thing. In other words, you're really good but you need to control your anger." Harry sighed. "Of course this job can be frustrating sometimes, but you can't let it control you."
Harry opened his mouth his mouth to say something, but Kingsley stopped him. "I know, Potter, you and Granger experienced a hard time during the Final Battle-"
"Ron helped too."
"Yes, but in the end it was just you and Granger."
Harry seemed a little uncomfortable. He didn't like to discuss the Final Battle. Things didn't go very well that night.
Voldemort… All that blood… Malfoy trying… Hermione. Oh, God, Hermione…Harry shook his head to banish the memories. "I will control my anger next time, Sir," he said.
"Good, now-"
"Why isn't Hermione an Auror?" Lisa suddenly spoke out. "I mean, everybody talks about how good she was in the Final Battle and…I don't know…I just think it's curious."
Harry didn't say a word. Deep inside, he liked the fact that Hermione had chosen not to become Auror. It was better this way…he didn't have to be concerned about her…too much.
"Oh well," Kingsley commented, a strange twinkle in his eyes, "The Experimental Charms Department can get very…er… exciting sometimes."
The two young Aurors raised their eyebrows at their instructor, but Kingsley pretended not to notice. Instead, he went back to the previous subject. "Well, like I was saying before I was interrupted, you two did good work. Now, here are some files," he said giving two folders to Lisa and Harry, "that I want you to study. They are old cases. I want a report in five days." They nodded at Kingsley before he left, leaving the two of them alone.
"Oh! I can't believe it!" Lisa cried, hugging him. "This is so great! An Outstanding!"
Harry was about to say something when he heard a heavy, fake cough. They quickly broke away from their embrace and looked at the door. Ginny Weasley was standing there, her hands on her hips. She didn't look happy.
"We just got an Outstanding in one of our tests," Harry explained, trying to smile at his girlfriend.
"That's great," Ginny replied, without a smile. Her eyes narrowed at Lisa, whose hands were dangerously close to Harry's shoulders. "So, Harry, I hope the outstanding news didn't cause you to forget about our lunch date.
"No, Ginevra," he said a little more rudely than he had intended. He really hated when Ginny started to act this way. "I didn't forget."
"So, let's get going then," the redhead said, taking his hand and practically dragging him out of the room. He only had time to throw the folder over to his desk and mutter a quick "I'm sorry" to Lisa.
She smiled and muttered back, "That's okay."
"Now, can you please tell me what the hell happened?" Harry asked after the waiter had delivered their orders.
Ginny, who had been quiet since they left the Ministry, finally burst out with, "What happened?! What happened?! That--that-- Turpin happened."
"Lisa is my partner, Ginny."
"Oh, yeah! And she simply loves it! Always gaggling over you!
"Lisa doesn't gaggle over me!"
"And she really had to hug you! No, a handshake or a little tap on the shoulder isn't enough. No! She really had to hug you!"
"Gin, she was only happy. We just had received an--"
"An Outstanding. I know, I know. It's just hard, Harry! It's hard to see another girl hugging your boyfriend. Especially when your boyfriend is a hero."
"I'm not a hero, Ginny."
"You will be always my hero, Harry. But I don't want to talk about Turpin anymore. I want to tell you something," she smiled for the first time.
"What is it?" Harry asked, thankful for the change of subject.
"I got a job!" she replied excitedly.
"That's wonderful, Gin!" he said. "Tell me about it."
"Remember when I told you that Luna's father was publishing a new magazine?"
"Yeah," Harry nodded. "It's about Magical and Muggle sports, isn't it?"
"Yes! So, Mr. Lovegood invited me to write about Quidditch. A sports column, Harry!"
"Wow!" Harry was truly impressed and very happy for her. "That's really great!"
"Yeah, isn't it? I was supposed to tell you yesterday, but my dear brother…" she sighed. "You know. Speaking of which, how is Hermione?"
"She was very upset, but I think she's better now. Ron really hurt her by saying what he did."
"Ron is my brother and I love him, but sometimes he really can be a git."
"Yeah, he's really a piece of work," Harry agreed.
Ginny and Harry spent the rest of their lunch talking about Ginny's new job, Ron, Hermione and other things.
Harry didn't notice that he hadn't even kissed his girlfriend once.
~*~*~*~
Hermione and Susan's flat
08:15pm
"I am really glad that you forgave me, Hermione," Ron said, caressing Hermione's arm. They were sitting on the sofa, her head on his shoulder. "I'm really sorry for what I said."
"I know, Ron, I know," was Hermione's reply. She was tired and didn't want to discuss it all over again. Ron wanted to get married, she didn't. Ron wanted to bring their relationship to the next level, she wanted to wait. She loved him, she was sure she did, but sometimes it was so difficult. He simply didn't seem to understand her, or her needs and wants.
The more she had explained how happy her work made her, the less excited he looked. He was never happy for her.
'He doesn't even know what I really do,' she thought bitterly.
Then there was sex. The damn sex! Of course she was curious about sex. Of course she wanted to be with a man, but not just yet. She just didn't feel ready for the big step. It didn't mean that she wanted to wait until the wedding. No, she just wanted to be ready.
Ron didn't seem to understand.
But Harry understood.
"Hermione?" Ron's voice broke her out of her reverie.
"Huh? Sorry, Ron," she apologised.
Ron smiled slyly at her and began to place kisses around her neck and collarbone.
"Not now, Ron," she said, pushing him away. "I'm not in the mood."
"You are never in the mood," he said bitterly, standing up. "You know what? I'm off!"
"Ron, please stay--"
"Why? Why do you want me to stay?"
"We could stay here together, you know, talk…"
He laughed. "Talk? For Merlin's sake, Hermione! You're my girlfriend, not my best mate! If I wanted to talk I could have gone to a pub with Harry!"
Fighting back an urge to cry, Hermione replied coldly, "Yeah, Ron, I think it's better that you go home."
"Yeah. Goodnight, Hermione."
"Goodnight, Ron."
Hermione did notice that they hadn't kissed.
~*~*~*~
Winchester
December 19, 1979
James Potter was happily playing with the little baby girl. He couldn't help but smile at her little giggles.
"She's really beautiful, Mary. You must be proud of her."
Mary smiled, looking at the little girl in James' arms. "I am, James. I am. She's the only thing that keeps me going. I will never be able to repay you for what you are doing for us." A single tear fell from her brown eyes.
"Nah," James shook his head. "It was nothing. Anyone could have done the same."
"No, James. It was you. You helped me and my little Hermione. I may not be a witch, but I know what can happen if people find out whom her father is. You saved her life, James."
"You would have done the same for me and Lily."
"Of course!" She paused. "How is Lily?"
"Fine, I guess." James' smile disappeared. Mary looked quizzically at him. "I don't know. She's just been acting so strange these last few days…"
"Why don't you talk with her? Ask her what's wrong."
"Yeah, I think I will," he said. "Hey, I saw a park down the street, why don't we go there with Mione?"
"Mione?"
"Well, why not? Hermione is too long! So, what do you think?"
"Don't you need to go home, James?"
"Nah, I can spend a little more time with my princess here. Lily won't mind."
~*~*~*~
Meanwhile…
London
The Potter residence
Lily Potter was sitting at the table facing the empty chair in front of her. The dinner was already cold.
Her hand was placed on her belly, as she whispered, "You won't make me cry, James Potter. You won't."
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Thanks to Anne Pendragon and Lex & Ash