Unofficial Portkey Archive

The Boys Room by adamolupin
EPUB MOBI HTML Text

The Boys Room

adamolupin

A/N: And this is it! Thanks for stopping by, I hope you enjoyed the show. Be sure to tip your server . . . or, you know, leave me a review. ;-)


Sirius waggled his eyebrows at them when James and Lily met the other Marauders in the Gryffindor common room half an hour later looking thoroughly mussed and kissed. "So you've had a taste of a boy, let me show you how a man can treat you," Sirius said with a smug grin.

Lily looked all around the common room then behind them up the staircase leading to the boy's rooms. "I'm sorry; I don't see how that's possible considering I don't see a man in the area."

Peter snorted and covered up his laugh behind his hand. Sirius scowled briefly at him before he had his smirk back in place. "That's because you've never met a real man."

"Padfoot, stop stressing your words, you're making me nauseous," Remus spoke up. "Now are you going to show me the purpose behind your kidnapping of me?"

"We didn't kidnap you!" James replied as they all walked through the portrait. "You didn't even leave the room. Kidnapping implies we forced you to go somewhere."

"You tied me up and shoved me in a closet! I wanted to take a shower, not go in the closet, ergo you kidnapped me!" Remus said throwing up his hands in exasperation.

"So if we'd tied you up and put you in the shower, we wouldn't have kidnapped you?" Sirius asked with a superior smirk.

"Ok, calm down Moony. You know you spout big words when you get upset," Peter said soothingly, saving Remus from trying to explain that bit of faulty logic.

"'Ergo' is not a big word and it's about as small as I get," Remus sighed.

Sirius and James snorted at that and Remus and Lily rolled their eyes, sharing a pained look while Peter scratched his head in confusion. "I'll explain later," Remus murmured to Peter, taking pity on the poor kid. "You know that big boy book your mum gave you when you hit puberty last year? That should explain some of it."

Peter didn't look too convinced, but shrugged it off.

Lily gave Remus a disbelieving look to which he shook his head in response.

They walked out of the school with Sirius humming "God Save the Queen," Peter still scratching his legs from the itching powder James had put in his trousers the week previously, James casting surreptitious lust filled looks at Lily and Lily and Remus discussing the Transfiguration test that coming Monday. "Where are we going?" Lily asked, taking James's hand when they stepped outside and turned toward the Whomping Willow.

The boys exchanged uneasy glances. By some unseen agreement, Sirius, Peter and Remus pulled ahead walking quickly while James and Lily fell back. "Lily," James began softly, looking the most serious she'd ever seen him. Her stomach dropped to her shoes with worry and dread. This can't be good. "You know Remus is a werewolf right?"

"Yeah, I've known for about three years now. It wasn't hard to figure out," she replied warily.

"Right. Well, we've known since the end of first year and Sirius, Peter and I made a pact that Remus had been suffering alone for far too long and he should never have to suffer through another full moon alone. So we did some researching and with a bit of luck and hard work we -" James sighed and nervously ran his hand through his hair. "We became animagi."

"What?" Lily's voice was low and devoid of reflection, her face was unreadable and it made James extremely wary. He could always read her moods; she only really had five: studious, happy, sad, horny and angry. That was one of the reasons he liked her so much was because, in essence, she was uncomplicated like that. Except now.

"We became unregistered animagi."

They'd stopped walking by this time, the others standing a good distance away out of ear shot, much to their dismay. "If there's no screaming, I want my two galleons back," Peter muttered to Sirius.

"You'll get a full refund if she doesn't scream, but I'm telling you, you're not going to get your money back Wormtail," Sirius replied confidently, rocking back on his heels, his hands in his pockets because even though his mittens were tied to his jacket, he wouldn't wear them.

"Let me get this straight: you did something that could get you thrown into Azkaban if it didn't kill you first just so Remus wouldn't be lonely during his transformations?" Lily asked softly, her face still unreadable.

James nodded. That was the gist of it. He knew better than to say anything of their adventures in the Forbidden Forest while they were human let alone when they weren't.

"That has to be the sweetest thing in the world!" Lily exclaimed jumping into James's arms and hugging him tight. "I seriously underestimated you, Sirius and Peter. You're so going to get lucky tonight," she whispered in his ear.

James looked over at the disbelieving expressions on his fellow Marauder's faces and gave them the thumbs up.

"You didn't do break any school rules while you were transformed right?" she asked, her voice muffled by his heavy winter cloak.

"I am the picture of innocence."

Lily pulled back and looked up at him disbelievingly. "Do I really want to know?"

"Do you?"

"Noo . . ." But her tone clearly implied `yes.'

"Why don't we talk about that later, hm?" He leaned down and gave her a deep distracting kiss which, of course, worked beautifully like all of James's plans . . . right.

"What - what - what -?" Peter couldn't stop saying `what.' He looked up at Remus and Sirius in confusion. "What?"

Remus shook his head and grinned, leaning over to close Sirius's mouth. "You'll give yourself wrinkles," he warned.

Sirius gasped and whipped out the mirror he used for communication with James and checked his laugh lines, his frown lines, and his crow's feet, alternating pulling his skin taut and poking at it. "I am not," he finally haughtily scoffed putting the mirror away.

"Pay up pretty boy. Full refund," Remus replied holding out his hand.

"When we get back to the room, I don't have the money on me, yeesh," Sirius replied with a roll of his eyes.

"We won't forget you know," Peter added.

"I know!" Sirius said defensively. "Think we should pull the lovers apart?"

"Yes, I'm freezing my bollocks off out here," Remus replied stamping his numb feet and reinserting his mitten covered hands under his arms.

"You do realize if you stay like that for too long in weather like this you'll freeze that way!" Sirius shouted.

"Sod off, Black!" Lily called back.

"You're the King of Mood Killing, you know that right?"

"Why yes Moony, I happen to be an expert. I also know how to set the mood with the ladies too. Do you want some tips?"

"Er, no."

"I do!" Peter exclaimed happily.

"When we get inside, I'll impart all my knowledge onto you, young padawan," Sirius said clapping an arm over Peter's shoulders.

"Pada-what?" Peter looked over at Remus who shrugged his shoulders and looked just as bewildered. "Are you making up words again?"

"Kambeeble my friend, kambeeble."

"C'mon, let's get inside, I think the cold air's shorting out a few of Padfoot's circuits," Remus said to Lily and James when they reached them. "He's making up words again."

"Does kambeeble mean `yes' or `I wanna dry hump your leg'? I always forget," James mused aloud to which Peter whipped his head toward them looking very green. Sirius leered down at him, tightening his hold on his shoulders and Peter gulped loudly.

Lily chuckled softly, squeezing James's waist affectionately.

Peter was the most relieved to see the Whomping Willow and quickly morphed before he could find out the true meaning of `kambeeble'.

Lily watched in amazement as Peter, as a rat, scampered underneath the Willow's radar and pressed a knob at the base of the tree. The branches that had been swaying lazily in the breeze went immediately still allowing Peter to morph back into human form and for the four other teenagers to follow him into the passageway. "Where does this lead?" she asked, her voice echoing hollowly in the tight confines.

"The Shrieking Shack," Remus replied, glancing back at her. "Dumbledore set up the house, the passageway and the Whomping Willow so I'd have a safe place for my transformations."

Lily reached past James and squeezed Remus's hand with a sad sympathetic smile. "I'm glad you have so many people to look out for you."

Remus blushed brightly and ducked his head, mumbling something indistinct before turning fully forward and following Sirius and Peter in silence.

"Why didn't you tell me about this before?" Lily whispered to James, holding his hand tightly.

"Well it wasn't exactly my secret to tell," he murmured softly, bringing her hand up to his lips and kissing her palm. His kiss sent a straight jolt of liquid warmth down her arm. "But now I have no secrets from you."

"Except for what you did while you were animagi."

"Err . . . who says I did anything?" he asked nervously.

Lily merely smirked up at him and James could swear she could read his mind. "You're not a Legilimens are you?"

The smirk on her face deepened and James really had to wonder if she was or not. "Because if you are, you probably shouldn't be in my head right now. You probably don't want to see Sirius naked."

Lily grimaced. "Good thing I'm not then."

James glanced back at her with a smirk.

The rest of the trip was made in silence until they reached the Shack. "It's kind of a mess in here," Remus apologized helping Lily up into the house.

"It's no worse than your room. At least it smells cleaner," she replied looking around curiously. The building was old and decrepit, the perfect place for a young werewolf to hide. Actually, if it weren't for the deep gouge marks in the walls and floor, she would've been hard pressed to distinguish this house from any other abandoned house.

"Oh no no. I've been tied up enough, there's no way you're going to blindfold me too," Remus said backing away and holding up his hands when Sirius pulled out the bandana that had been used as a gag earlier.

"Then how will we know you've got your eyes closed?" Sirius whined pouting and stamping his foot like the petulant child he was.

"You'll just have to take my word for it."

"Fine. But I have to say, once again, you're no fun Moony," Sirius sighed, stuffing the bandana down the front of his pants.

"Please tell me that's not where you keep that," Remus groaned.

"What? Where else would I keep it? My pockets are full."

James and Peter snickered, Lily made a face and Remus suddenly turned an interesting green. "Oh Merlin, I don't think coming here was worth knowing that," he muttered.

"It will in a second, now close your eyes." Remus complied. Sirius waved his hands in front of Remus's face and made rude and obscene gestures to make sure that he couldn't see.

"Are you going to lead me to my doom or do I have to stand here while Padfoot makes an arse of himself? And before you take that bandana out of your crotch, I can't see anything, I just know you and what you're capable of," Remus spoke up wearily.

Lily watched as James and Peter took up positions on either side of Remus and led him slowly to the living room of the Shack. She looked around in awe. Streamers and banners took up every available wall surface, the floor was covered in confetti so deep she could barely see her toes let alone the floor, candles bobbed gently giving the room a warmth the rest of the house didn't have, a fire burned merrily in the fireplace and a table laden with food and presents took up the entire far wall. Lily was impressed to say the least.

"Ok, you can drop your arms now," Peter said after situating Remus in the best vantage point where he could take in the entire room at one glance.

Remus dropped his arms and his jaw. His eyes flickered over everything in amazement before snapping his mouth shut tight, his jaw working tightly with emotion. They never ceased to amaze him. "Thanks mates," he murmured softly.

James merely patted his back and smiled at him. "C'mon, I'm starved. Let's eat and then we'll open presents," he said ushering Remus toward the table.

"James," Lily called out.

He turned and joined her in the corner near the door while the others, laughing and talking loudly descended on the food like they hadn't eaten a meal in a week or two. "Yeah?"

Lily wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his chest, suddenly overwhelmed by her feelings for him. Surprised and a bit confused, James wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly back, rubbing her back comfortingly. "Are you ok?"

She nodded tilting her head up to look at him. "I love you."

At that moment James felt he could conquer the world, defeat Voldemort, and find the cure for baldness all with one hand tied behind his back and wearing an eye patch. He knew that Lily had loved him, she'd told him in her kisses, caresses, and heated glances, but she'd never said it before. "I love you too."

"I propose a toast!" Sirius spoke up holding aloft a cup full of Firewhiskey. "There once was a man named Remus who had a very very large -"

"Pads," Remus warned.

"Brain! I was gonna say brain," Sirius replied in a wounded tone accompanied with an exaggerated pout.

"Riiight."

Their argument faded into the background when Lily turned James's head back to look at her. "And I love what you've done for Remus, but please, if you love me as much as you say you do, never make me need a reason to go to the boys' room again. I'm still not fully convinced you don't have wild animals in there, not including Sirius."

James chuckled and dipped his head to kiss her again. "I promise."


-->