Illumination
Summary: Forced into hiding, Lily and James trust a friend with their lives and the life of their son but are ultimately betrayed. Helpless and cut off from the rest of the world, their last few days together are the most trying of all.
Disclaimer: The characters and plot and everything else belong to JK Rowling.
A/N: I thought it might ruin the suspense at the end of this chapter if I posted this note down there, so I'll do it here instead. Only one chapter left after this one. It should be up in a week or two. Just be patient with me.
Also, visit my live journal (link is in my profile) because I need your help. I've posted a list of my story ideas, and I'd like you to tell me which one I should work on next. I'd really appreciate it if you would help me. Thanks in advance.
Enjoy this chapter, and thank you to all of my reviewers.
Chapter Two
Lily sat and thought about James and Sirius while Sirius was off getting Peter. They had been best friends for so long that they were practically like brothers, and they had been through so much together, but she knew that neither one of them had been prepared for the current situation. She would trust Sirius with her life, and so would James, so she knew how disappointed he must have been that Sirius didn't want to be their Secret-Keeper.
Lily loved the Marauders. They were a group of fun-loving guys who, really, were just kids at heart. To her they would always be seventeen and trying to get her to stay still long enough to shove a snowball down the front of her shirt. Remus and Peter were just as important to her as James and Sirius. She trusted all of them, which was why she had such a hard time believing that one of them was a spy for Voldemort.
Dumbledore had informed Lily and James of this theory after some important information had been leaked. Of course, James was obviously not the spy, and he simply refused to believe it was Sirius. The only ones left were Remus and Peter, and they quickly ruled Peter out because he was so weak. Thus, Remus stood alone. It broke Lily's heart to think that they could be falsely accusing him of something. He was always so nice, nothing like a Death Eater, but then again none of the Marauders were. She had often wondered if maybe the spy had been hidden somewhere while James's friends were over and had conveniently made it look like one of them, but James and Sirius had come to the conclusion that Remus was the spy, and nothing Lily said could change their minds.
"James," Lily said softly, afraid to speak any louder. "I think we should tell Dumbledore that we're changing our Secret-Keeper."
"There's no time for that," James replied absently. "Every second matters, and if something happens, Sirius and Peter know. They'll tell him for us."
She nodded, and the family sat in silence until two loud cracks announced the return of Sirius and Peter. Lily nearly fell out of her chair in surprise. She had become extremely paranoid as of late, afraid that Voldemort would always be right behind her waiting to strike. It was a good thing; it kept her on her toes, but it was also a bad thing. She had worried so much over the past few weeks that she had begun to get sick. Although she did not dare tell James about it, she had been violently ill on more than one occasion. Sirius had found out and had agreed not to tell James, although he was genuinely worried about her. Lily loved James, and that was why she didn't want to worry him about trivial things like her health. After the war was over, she would recover and life would return to normal.
"Hello, Peter," she greeted warmly.
"H-hello," he stammered in response.
"Has Sirius told you why he brought you here?" James asked. "Or did he just tell you to follow him?"
Sirius shook his head. "James, James, James. Of course I told him. We have thoroughly discussed the situation. Surely you think I care about your family more than that."
"And you've agreed to what we want you to do?" James asked Peter.
"Yes," he replied. "I would do anything for the three of you. I'd give my life."
Lily was surprised by how strong a statement it was. It was definitely not like Peter to be so confident and brave. He had always been so cowardly in school, but Lily assumed that the war was helping him become a stronger person. She was proud of him.
"Well then," Sirius said quietly, his voice full of emotion. "I should be going so you can continue with the Charm. I'll see the three of you after this war is over."
"Take care of yourself," Lily choked out, trying to hold back the tears that had finally decided to come.
She stepped forward and hugged him tightly. Sirius was James's best friend and as such he had become very special to Lily, too.
"I will," he assured her. "I'm going into hiding tonight as well. That way Voldemort won't be able to find me if he suspects I'm your Secret-Keeper."
"If you see Remus," Lily continued. "Tell him I sent my best wishes."
Sirius and James exchanged looks. They both thought that Remus was the spy, but they knew that Lily refused to believe it. Instead of making matters worse by presenting the evidence, they played along and let her believe what she wanted.
Sirius smiled at her. "S-sure. I'll tell him." He turned where Harry was sitting in a nearby armchair, now fully awake. "Bye, Harry," he said. "Take care of your mum, will you?"
"Mummy," Harry said clearly.
"Yeah," Sirius continued. "Your mummy needs you to help her get through this. Can you do that for me?"
Harry made a couple of gurgling noises, which Sirius took to mean yes.
"Can I have a hug?" he asked.
Harry put his arms around his godfather's neck and hugged him like only babies can.
"Don't cause too much trouble while I'm gone," Sirius told him as he pulled away. "Wait until I come back."
Finally, he turned to James.
"Bye, Prongs. Hopefully this war won't last long."
"We really appreciate everything you've done for us," James said. "We couldn't have gotten this far without you. Thank you."
Sirius smiled sadly. "No problem. I only wish there were more I could do."
The two best friends shook hands and embraced.
"Well, goodbye," Sirius said, waving to the family. "I really do hope everything works out like we want it to. Peter, after the Charm is completed, go straight into hiding. I'll check on you in about a week."
Peter nodded, and Lily sobbed loudly, making Harry cry, too. She picked him up and rocked him gently. Sirius took one last look around the room before Disapparating.
"Well then," James said, turning back to the remaining people in the room, which included a sobbing Lily, a screaming Harry, and a nervous-looking Peter. "We'd better get this Charm done before it's too late."
- - - -
The days in hiding passed slower than ever for the Potters. Lily was sick with worry. She couldn't stop thinking about how they had endangered the lives of two of their friends, if not more, by trying to protect themselves. It made her feel selfish, but she knew that this was what needed to be done. Hopefully neither Sirius nor Peter would do anything stupid to get himself caught.
Harry and James were growing restless cooped up in the house all day. Harry couldn't understand why he had to stay inside and couldn't go out to play in the backyard. Although he wasn't one year old, James wasn't much better. He was constantly fidgeting and complaining, and Lily didn't know how much more of it she could stand.
She had lost track of the days, but James informed her that they had been in hiding for exactly one week. It seemed like much longer than that. It felt like they had been hiding for months.
The more she thought about their situation, the more nauseous Lily felt. Finally, unable to prevent it any longer, she had to run to the bathroom to vomit.
Luckily, James had been in another part of the house and hadn't seen her rush off to the bathroom. She thanked Merlin for that, and flushed the toilet. When she got to her feet and steadied herself, she noticed a reflection in the mirror. Turning around so quickly she almost passed out, she found James standing in the doorway with concern etched across his face.
"It's nothing to worry about," she said hurriedly. "I must be coming down with something. That's all."
But James did not seem to buy this. He continued to look at her steadily.
"Really, it's nothing," she whispered. "Please believe me."
"Sirius told me that you've been getting sick a lot lately," he said evenly. "He doesn't think you're just coming down with something. He thinks you're worrying yourself sick over this war. What do you think?"
"He promised he wouldn't tell you!"
James looked at her. "Sometimes people have to break promises to protect the ones they love. Come on, you need to lie down."
Lily allowed him to lead her into the sitting room where she could lie down and watch Harry play.
"Thank you," she whispered.
James smiled. "Let me know if there's anything I can get for you."
She hoped that the war wouldn't last much longer. She didn't think she could carry on like this for years, but there was no end in sight. Voldemort was gaining more and more power and seemed nowhere near falling. He may even gain enough power to take over the Wizarding world like he had planned. Another wave of nausea washed over Lily at the thought.
Harry was playing quietly on the floor with his toys. He was so happy and carefree without a single idea of what was going on in the world. He didn't realize that there was a full-blown war going on and that he and his parents had been forced into hiding for an indefinite amount of time because of it. All he knew was that he wasn't allowed to outside anymore. Lily wished she could be like Harry.
He got up and waddled over to where James was sitting and proceeded to tug on his father's hand. James looked up from the book he had been reading.
"Hello," he said, smiling down at his son. "What can I do for you, Harry?"
Harry continued to tug and make impatient noises. Finally, James got up and allowed himself to be led by the toddler over to the broom closet. He opened the door slowly, not quite sure what Harry was trying to tell him.
The child grabbed the handle of James's racing broom and pulled it from the closet. James caught it just before it landed on Harry's head.
"Fly," Harry said, looking up at his father. "Fly."
Startled, James looked at Lily to see if she had seen what had just happened. She had, and she looked just as surprised as James.
"I think he wants me to take him flying, Lily," James said.
"Well that's out of the question," she replied. "Neither of you can leave the house. It's entirely too dangerous."
"Mummy's right, Harry," James told the boy. "No flying today."
As he put the broomstick back in the closet, Harry began to cry.
"Fly!"
James bit his lip and looked at Lily again. It pained him to make Harry cry. He wanted him to be happy at all times.
"No," Lily said firmly. "And that's final."
Harry continued to cry.
"What if we flew around the house?" James asked. "We won't break anything. I'll be very careful. I promise."
Lily sighed. "I guess so, but if you do break anything, you'll be repairing it."
"Agreed. Come on, Harry. Let's go."
James flew around the house with Harry for over an hour. They didn't go very fast, and they flew so close to the ground that James's feet brushed the carpet, but they both loved every moment of it.
Harry giggled the entire time and, by the time James stopped the broom, had laughed himself to sleep.
Lily looked at him from where she was sitting and smiled.
"Would you look at that?" James whispered. "He's sleeping."
Lily nodded but didn't say anything as James put Harry down on a blanket to sleep where they could watch him. Then he came and sat by her.
"What are you thinking about?" he asked, his eyes locking on hers and refusing to let go.
She sighed. "Us. Our family."
James frowned slightly. "You'll make yourself sick again."
"No, I feel fine."
"Are you sure you're alright?" James pressed, his eyes filled with worry. "How do you know that you're just making yourself sick with worry? It could be something more than that."
"I'm not pregnant, James, if that's what you mean," Lily said firmly, propping herself up on some pillows. "That was my first thought, too, but I checked, and I'm definitely not. Merlin, could you imagine me getting pregnant at a time like this? Wouldn't that be the worst possible scenario? I can't think of anything that would make us more vulnerable to Voldemort. No, I'm sure I'm not pregnant. Don't worry about that."
Although he didn't say anything, James looked extremely relieved. As much as Lily and James loved Harry and wouldn't mind having more children in the future, a new baby at a time like this was simply out of the question. They were in hiding while being chased by Lord Voldemort. If Lily found out she was pregnant during that time, it would ruin all of their carefully made plans.
"So you'll be okay?" James asked just to make sure he understood.
Lily laughed. "Yes, James, I'll be fine just as soon as this stupid war is over."
He sat down on the floor next to the couch where she was lying and rested his back against it. Lily began absently playing with his hair like she used to do when they were dating at Hogwarts. She would try for hours to get it to lie flat but never succeeded. Eventually, it became something to calm her nerves rather than actually having a purpose.
"Do you remember," James said so suddenly that it startled Lily. "That time I ran away from home the summer before fifth year, and I somehow ended up at your house?"
Lily nodded. "I still don't know how you figured out where I lived."
He paused to think. "I don't remember. I don't think I knew for sure, but I had an idea because of something you had said earlier that year. After that I was just guessing, but I guessed right."
"Why did you come to my house?" she asked. "Why didn't you go to Sirius or Remus's house?"
"Because Sirius's Mum scares the hell out of me. You couldn't pay me to go into that house. I went once when I was about twelve or thirteen, and I didn't think I'd ever get out alive. I thought that either Mrs. Black would slip something into my drink or the house elf would kill me in my sleep or Sirius would accidentally throw something sharp at my head while aiming at his brother. Sirius's house was definitely out of the question, and it was a full moon at the time, so I couldn't go to Remus's house either. I don't care much for Peter's Mum either for that matter. She's not scary like Mrs. Black, but she's scary in her own way. When I met her for the first time, I made the mistake of introducing myself as Peter's friend, James Potter, and she nearly suffocated me. I think she was just happy to see that Peter had friends, but she was so happy that I didn't want to see what would happen if I asked to spend the night for a while. So the only other person I could think of visiting was you, Evans. Lucky you."
Lily laughed at being called by her maiden name. It was something James did when they were talking about the time before they had started dating.
"Could you imagine my surprise when I was woken up by someone knocking at my window only to open the curtains and see that it was you? I nearly had a heart attack," Lily said with a smile.
"You should have seen your face."
"And remember how angry my dad was the next morning when he found out that you had slept in my room that night?"
James shivered visibly at the memory.
"Merlin, do I remember," he muttered. "You didn't hear the lecture he gave me about responsibility and not having the nerve to at least introduce myself to him before `doing improper things with his daughter' as he put it. We were only fifteen. I don't know why he jumped to such conclusions."
Lily laughed. "Daddy was always very protective of Petunia and me. It took me forever to convince him that I had made you sleep in the bathtub. I don't know why I stood up for you. It probably had something to do with not losing my father's trust. That was really important to me."
"I understand. I didn't mind getting that speech as much as I made it seem. I think that's when I first started to realise how I felt about you."
He leaned his head back to see Lily's reaction to this. She looked down at his from where she was sitting.
"Really?" she whispered.
He nodded.
She started to laugh. "That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard before in my life, James Potter! I happen to know that you didn't stop being mean to me until the end of sixth year. If you realised your feelings for me the summer before fifth year, why did it take you a year and a half to act like you meant it?"
"I was stupid," James said simply, unable to hide a grin. "I'm sorry."
Lily opened her mouth to respond, but never got a chance to make another comment.
There was the soft, distinct sound of footsteps on the sidewalk leading up to their front door. She had to strain her ears to hear it, but she recognised the sound immediately, and by the look on his face, James did, too.
Lily's heart sank. She knew it wasn't one of their friends dropping by to say hello. They were in hiding. Something told her it wasn't a Muggle who had lost his way either. It was definitely more serious than that. This was it.
And then as though he sensed something wrong, too, Harry's eyes flew open, and he began to cry.
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