Unofficial Portkey Archive

A long while back I entered a challenge (which the provisions of are listed below) and I thought it was rather fun. Just for the heck of it, I decided to post it here, even though it's not a note fic (when I started this, it was meant to be a potpourri of random HP fics).

1) The name you choose for your character may not be similar to the character's real name. This includes: starting with the same letter as the real name, rhyming with it, etc.

2) The name you choose may not be one already chosen for the character by another participant. As we go along, I'll make a chart listing all the names chosen for the characters so that you don't have to read all the entries in order to write one yourself. Depending on how many people participate, it may get difficult to think of new names. Be creative. If you're really stuck, try Your entry may not include any blindingly obvious clues. For instance, if you've named Harry "Richard", you can't begin with "Richard, also called the Boy Who Lived, was not happy." Nicknames are prohibited.

4) No physical descriptions. Readers are meant to base their guesses on characterization alone.

5) Don't try to trick people. I know it's tempting. Don't do it. The point is for people to guess the character easily.

6) When submitting an entry, post on this thread. Your post must include a link to the fanfic and a spoiler tag explaining the real and fake names of the characters in the story.

So when you're done reading, put in a review who you thought the characters were and I'll reveal later. Happy reading!

The Stupid Notes

Episode the Second:

Don't Kill the Messenger

"I have an idea!" Casey squealed. It was a Saturday night in the Gryffindor common room and everyone was bored.

"What!" Casey's friend Madeline squealed in reply.

"Why don't we play truth or dare!" Everyone looked at Casey then started talking to their friends, trying to decide whether to do it or not. Finally, murmurs of assent filled the room and everyone got into a rather messy circle, sitting on chairs, the floor, whatever. Everyone, that is, except for the ever-so-pompous Jason.

"Well I for one, shall take no part in this," he said as he headed up the staircase to the boys' dorm. A few others went to their dorms, but for the most part, everyone stayed.

"Since it was Casey's idea, I think she should go first," Madeline said, rather matter-of-factly. Casey nodded and the game went underway.

"Alright," Casey started, "Truth or dare… Eric." Eric looked up from his conversation with his friends Justin and Anna. Anna had been arguing the point that truth or dare was an immature game, but she hadn't left because none the other girls in her dorm had left the game.

"Um," Eric said, unsure. "Truth, I suppose."

Casey giggled, then asked, "Which girls in this room do you think are hot?"

Eric looked surprised and said, "Do I have to?" Casey and Madeline nodded vigorously. Eric sighed and thought for a moment. "Um, you two aren't too bad looking," he said as the girls giggled. "And um, Kelly, Jasmine, and Jennifer also look good." The three girls mentioned also giggled, but not as badly as Casey and Madeline.

"Uh," Eric said unsure, looking around the room. "Anna looks ok and Jessie looks pretty good too. Are you two happy now?" Casey and Madeline nodded. "Ok," Eric continued. "Truth or dare… Matt."

Matt thought for a moment, then replied, "Dare." Eric's friend Justin leaned over and whispered something in Eric's ear. Justin was brothers with Matt and had tons of dirt on him- and plans of revenge.

Eric grinned and replied, "Matt, I dare you to take a spider that's been enlarged magically and kiss it." Matt glared at Justin who was sniggering, due to the fact he was committing, through Eric, revenge for the teddy Matt had turned into a spider.

The girls (and Justin) weren't too keen on finding a spider but the boys (minus Justin), started looking till they found one. They stupefied it and then engorged it until it reached the size of a softball and gave it to Matt.

Matt, before going through with his dare, hissed, "Justin I'm gonna put this spider in your bed, if not tonight, I'll do it eventually." Justin shuddered then started laughing as Matt kissed the spider.

Matt went to the bathroom and washed his mouth, then came back for his turn. "Truth or dare… Anna."

Anna sighed, not before replying, "Truth."

Matt rubbed his hands together and said, "Who do you have a crush on? If it's who I suspect, this should get interesting."

Anna blushed and replied, "Who do you think it is?"

"Why, dear little Justin, that's who," Matt said innocently. Anna blushed to everyone's amazement, as good as confirming what Matt had said. Justin looked quite shocked as Casey and Madeline started giggling and whispering to each other.

When Anna had regained her composure, she said, "Um… Vince, your turn. Truth or dare?"

Vince looked up from the newest Which Broomstick? catalogue, startled. "Oh," he said unsurely, "What was that?"

Anna sighed and repeated, "Vince, truth or dare?" Vince thought for a moment, then said, "Truth."

Anna nodded. "Is there anything you think about other than Quidditch?" Vince had to think on this one. Seriously.

"Um, I think about my grades." Everyone rolled their eyes as Vince went back to his catalogue.

"I think he's gone back to Quidditch land," Robert, Matt's brother said exasperatedly. "Here, I'll take his turn. Truth or dare, Jessie."

Jessie almost immediately said, "Dare."

Robert also showed no hesitation in replying, "Earlier today I planted some time-release dungbombs in Slater's bag. They should be going off in about ten minutes. You have to go find him and tell him the dungbombs are there right before they go off." Jessie blinked, surprised by her brother's dare. Robert smirked and continued, "You better hurry. You have only about nine minutes now." Jessie glared at her brother and headed out of the common room, followed by quite a few Gryffindors.

Jessie searched the castle until she found Slater and his cronies, Thompson and Jefferson, talking to Professor Atkins in the dungeons. She slowly approached them, fully aware of the Gryffindors looking around the corner behind her.

"Um, excuse me, Professor Atkins, but I need to tell Slater something."

Professor Atkins looked down at Jessie and sneered, "Well, Miss. Easton, get on with it."

The four Slytherins looked at Jessie expectantly as she sighed. "Well," she started. "Just promise me you won't kill the messenger."

Slater glared at her and snapped, "Why, pray tell, would I feel the need to do that, Easton?"

Jessie took a deep breath and answered, "Because I'm delivering this message from my brother Robert."

Slater looked at her blankly. "And… what?"

Jessie looked at her watch and realized that she had better hurry. "Um," she continued. "Robert planted some time-released dungbombs in your bag and according to my watch they'll be going off in about five seconds." After saying this VERY quickly, Jessie took off down the hallway at a run. She reached her fellow laughing Gryffindors around the corner just as the bombs went off.

The Gryffindors started running towards their common room, still laughing, when a very stinky Slater, Thompson, Jefferson, and Professor Atkins started after them, with shouts of "Easton!" and "50 points from Gryffindor!" following them. All that did was make the Gryffindors laugh harder.

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Ok, answer time!!!

Listed in order of appearance:

Casey/Madeline = Lavander/Parvati

Jason = Percy

Eric = Harry

Justin = Ron

Anna = Hermione

Kelly, Jasmine, and Jennifer = Katie, Alicia, and Angelina

Jessie = Ginny

Matt/Robert = Fred/George

Vince = Oliver

Slater = Malfoy

Thompson/Jefferson = Crabbe/Goyle

Atkins = Snape

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