Chapter Two
Remembering
Harry couldn't sleep. After glancing at his clock every minute for the past ten minutes, he could tell the time without looking. Like now for instance, he knew that in ten seconds it would be three a.m. Four hours since he'd closed his eyes to go to sleep, two hours since he realized that he wasn't sleeping and was in fact staring at his ceiling. It was white with something called popcorn sprayed on it. Harry liked the popcorn, it had glitter on it and when the moon shun in this room, the place looked magical. What Harry didn't like however, was the fact that the insomnia was back. Like everything else that was happening recently, he took one step forward and ended up taking two steps back.
He visited Mrs. Weasley twice and still hadn't found the words to explain why it was that he disappeared. He lay in his bed and tried to clear the haze, tried to understand for himself why he did it and he couldn't. He knew why though, he just couldn't find the words and grab unto to them. In the dark of the room, Harry snorted. So much for being brave.
When at a quarter past three, Harry accepted the fact that sleep just wouldn't come, he kicked off the covers and stepped into his bed slippers. They were well worn with holes in the bottom, and he could feel the cold from the tile beneath. Harry didn't care though, the slippers were a gift from Ginny and he'd wear them until they fell apart.
Ginny, he thought, staring out the window. Ginny was gone, and so was Ron. Outside, the snow fell and Harry felt his heart break into tiny pieces and fall along with it.
They'd been in love. For her own safety, he'd pushed her away at Dumbledore's funeral only to end up back into her arms a few weeks later at Bill and Fleur's wedding. She cornered him at the reception and demanded that he stopped the foolishness. She pointed out that by pushing her away, he was giving in to Voldemort. She asked him when he was going to start allowing himself to have a life and to stop letting it be dictated by others. She dared him to brave.
He kissed her. Right there during Bill and Fleur's first dance and he'd been so overcome with emotions that a nearby chair had soared into the air, only to shatter into pieces when it crashed to Earth. That was how powerful the kiss was. How powerful he was. And then she died. Because of him.
Ron died too. He said that he'd stand by Harry's side until the very end and he had. Harry watched as he died, shaking in Hermione's arms, tears running down his face as he choked out that he loved her. It had been the first and only time that he'd ever said those words and before Hermione had even gotten the chance to reply, he was dead. Harry robbed her of the chance to tell the boy that she'd always loved, just how she felt.
Ron had suffered under the Cruciatus for a good five minutes for him and then when Nott had his full, he whispered, "Sectumsempra." Like a coward, he'd Apparated afterwards. Harry remembered it like it was yesterday because that was when his wandless magic finally kicked in. Never had he been so angry in his life. If Nott had stayed for ten more seconds, he'd have felt Harry's wrath as he used his powers to free both himself and Hermione from their magical binds.
For days afterwards, neither Harry nor Hermione could get rid of the blood. It was under their fingernails. It was pasted to their scalps. It was the scent that the wind brought through the trees. It was the red that they saw at his funeral. That was the last time that Harry had been able to see red. He couldn't even see the colour of Ginny's hair. Not that it mattered anyway; a week after Ron's funeral, Ginny was dead.
It had all been Harry's fault.
What right do you have barging back into their lives? He chastised himself as he closed the window. He hadn't even noticed that it was open until the wind caused an old newspaper to blow in several directions. He'd stopped feeling when Ginny died, willed himself to stop caring. That had been the only way to survive, the only way to make sure that when it came time to say, "Avada Kedavra," there would be nothing holding him back. By the time that he finally killed Voldemort, he'd forgotten entirely how to care. Four years of seclusion only served to cement his apathy and he was no longer sure that he was able to learn.
Just give up mate, he sighed, falling unto his sheets. You're only going to cause more damage. There are still people out there who hate you; they'll hurt those that you still love.
But as Harry feel asleep, it was to dream of Ginny, index finger stabbing his chest as she asked him when he was going to start being brave.
He still couldn't tell the colour of her hair.
*~*
"Mummy!"
Hermione pulled the comforter over her head.
"Mum!"
Hermione rolled over.
Retching sounds filled the room.
Hermione jumped up out of her sleep and sprang out her bed. On the floor, obviously bent over in pain was Jane, shaking uncontrollably as the pink clumps forced their way up her throat.
No! Hermione thought. In an instant, she was by Jane's side. The little girl collapsed in her arms and Hermione could see the tears.
"Mummy," she said weakly.
Hermione wasn't seeing her though; she was seeing Ron. It was he who shook uncontrollably in her arms, it was he who has messed himself because of the intensity of the pain. It was he who would soon die in her arms.
"No!" She screamed.
Jane didn't say a word; she was too scared to.
"Mum what are you doing?" Lily, who had heard the commotion, pushed her head through her room door. She had to jump out of the way as Hermione sped by, almost knocking her over as she did so.
"Mum!" Lily shouted.
In Hermione's arms, Jane closed her eyes and tried her hardest not to cry. Children never had anything to fear as long as their parents were in control. But Hermione was not in control, and Jane would simply not believe it.
Ron was going to die. Hermione wasn't ready to let him go again, not when he finally came back. She wouldn't let him leave her again.
"Mum!"
Hermione tossed the Floo Powder into the flames. She had to get to St. Mungo's or Ron would die.
"MUM!"
And they were gone.
Lily stood in the living room and watched as they disappeared. She didn't quite understand what was going on, but based on the look in her mother's eyes, she knew that something was wrong. Her eyes were glazed over and they didn't look normal.
Without hesitation, Lily scooped some of the powder from the floor and bravely stepped into the fire.
"G-Grandma Molly's!"
She'd travelled by Floo Powder before with her mum, but nothing could prepare her for this. It was dark, it was scary and she was dizzy. By the time that she tumbled out of the fireplace at The Burrow, she was screaming for her dear life.
Arthur, who'd just returned from a late night raid, heard the screams and came running towards the living room. By the time that he found the little girl covered in soot, Molly had already hastily descended the stairs.
"Arthur, wha-" She froze as she took in the sight.
"Lily dear, what's wrong? Where's Hermione?" Arthur bent down so that he was at her level.
"I-I don't know!" Lily cried. "She stole Jane from me and ran!"
"What?" Arthur asked.
"Oh Merlin!" Molly shrieked. "You don't think that's she's under the Imperius, do you?"
"What?!" Lily screamed. She heard about that curse and she knew that it would be a very bad thing for her mother to be under it. She'd be taken away from the conversation before she could understand what it was, but she was smart enough to know that children were only shooed away from dangerous things.
"Molly calm down." Arthur pleaded.
"They warned us, Arthur!" Molly raved. "Zabini warned us that they would rise again and they did!"
It was true, before he'd been taken away, the Death Eater had warned that there were still those who were faithful and that they would once again rise up. Voldemort's work was never done until there were no more loyal followers left.
"Molly!" Arthur warned.
She looked at Lily who was looking paler by the second and immediately shut up.
"Mum and Jane are going to die?" She asked, barely above a whisper.
"Of course not dead," Molly bent and tried to reach out to her.
Lily jumped away. "Don't touch me!"
Molly backed away frightened.
"Lily," Arthur tried. The head that appeared in the fireplace cut his speech short.
"Excuse me."
All eyes turned towards the fire. Luna Lovegood peered back at them, dreamy expression once again on her face.
"Yes dear?" Molly asked.
"So sorry to bother you, but we've got a bit of a problem."
*~*
This wasn't how he'd played things out in his head. Catching her as she fainted. Ducking so that the book that she'd undoubtedly be reading when he appeared, wouldn't hit him square in the head. Covering his ears as she screamed and trying not to fall as she jumped into his arms. Telling her not to cry when she realized that it really was him and not his ghost. All different scenes, but undoubtedly how Hermione might react. He hadn't however, pictured flooing into St. Mungo's from the Leaky Cauldron after Pigwidgeon nearly nipped his ear off trying to deliver the very important note.
Please come to St. Mungo's, Harry. It's Hermione.
-Molly.
Harry didn't need to read the note twice to know that now was not the time to panic and cower away in his room. He always worked best under pressure. In less than three minutes, Harry was dressed and ready. His house wasn't connected to the Floo network, he was after all, hiding out from all things magical, and so he couldn't go directly to the hospital. The only way to get there was by Apparition. He didn't trust himself to get there safely, since he hadn't Apparated, or thought of the hospital in four years. His best bet was to Apparate to the Leaky Cauldron and floo to the hospital from there. If he didn't get spliced before he got there, that was.
The pub was empty; a strange sight for the Leaky Cauldron, but Harry didn't have time to ponder that. He was there on a mission. A girl that he didn't recognize was tending the bar and her eyes went wide when she recognized Harry's scar.
"I need some Floo Powder." He looked her square in the eye. He'd never admit it out loud, but Voldemort wasn't the only one who knew how to control people's minds. That was another gift that he'd gotten from the Dark Lord but hadn't recognized that he had.
He always assumed that people did his biddings simply because they were in awe of who he was. But now, as he stood before a clearly overzealous fan, he knew that it was not the time to just hope that she'd keep her mouth shut. He was going to make sure that she did and that Rita Skeeter's article on his reappearance wouldn't be the headline in that morning's Daily Prophet.
Nodding, the girl's eyes glazed over and she reached behind the counter for one of the jar's that held the green powder. Wordlessly, Harry tossed some money unto the counter and made his way over to the fire.
"St. Mungo's."
The bright lights blinded him and he stumbled as he made his way out of the fireplace. The nurse who was duty was thankfully absent from her chair, and Harry made his way out of the room without being spotted. It seemed as if everywhere was having a slow night.
"Harry thank goodness!" Molly flung herself at him. Mr. Weasley sat on a chair beside them and stared wordlessly at the ground.
The last time that Harry had seen the man like that was at Ron's funeral. He never made it to Ginny's funeral; he was too busy seeking vengeance to attend.
"Where's Hermione?" He asked, panic in his voice.
"In here." The door to the hospital room opened and Luna Lovegood of all people stepped out.
Harry's mouth dropped.
"Hullo, Harry." She smiled.
Harry couldn't believe that that was the same Luna Lovegood that he'd gone to school with. If she hadn't had the dreamy look on her face, he would have never guessed that she was the woman who stood before him. That was the only way to describe her really. Woman. She had filled out nicely over the years since he'd seen her and there was an air of confidence around her. If he weren't scared for Hermione, he would have been jealous.
"Hullo, Luna."
"It's good to see you again."
She didn't look surprised to see him. She didn't shriek and ask where he'd been. She was just happy to see him. Harry had always admired that about Luna. Even when people had called her Looney, she was always far mature than those her age, even if she did believe in a few odd things.
He nodded. "How is she?"
"I'm afraid not very well." Luna replied. She motioned for him to come closer and led him into the next room.
"Hermione's in a state of shock right now." Luna whispered.
"What?"
"She's in shock. She rushed in here about half-hour ago screaming that Ron was dying and that someone had to help her."
"What?"
It was all his fault. They'd probably brought him down there to tell him so.
"Ron wasn't dying, but she mistook Jane for him. Something must have set her off. We don't know what it was though, and until we can figure it out, we can't help her."
Jane? Who is Jane?
"I'm not understanding…"
"Mrs. Weasley thought that you might be able to help us."
"Who is Jane?"
Luna looked unsure of what to say next.
"Luna." He knew that he didn't have to control her to get what he wanted. His tone of voice alone made it very clear that he didn't want her feeding him rubbish.
"Her daughter."
Hermione has a daughter?
"Jane was sick and Hermione mistook her for Ron. She just had a stomach bug, but even though we explained all this to her, she won't calm down. She just keeps telling us that we have to save Ron." Luna continued. "Do you know what could have possibly set this off?"
Harry shook his head. "I haven't seen Hermione in four years."
"Mrs. Weasley insists that you're the only one who can help."
Harry screwed up his face in confusion.
"Maybe you should talk to her," Luna said. "Sometimes, when victims see a familiar face, it helps them to resurface."
"You don't understand, Luna…" Harry began.
How could he begin to explain to her what had happened? Seeing him was not the thing that Hermione needed to snap out of her zone. If anything, it might just push her further.
"Please, Harry." Luna's eyes were pleading, a very strange sight to behold. "She has two children to live for. She can't stay trapped in her mind."
"She has what?" Harry was even more confused. Since when did one child become two?
"And where is their father? Why isn't he here by her side?" In an instant, he'd jumped from confusion to anger. How dare he abandon Hermione at a time like this? What kind of a man just abandoned someone that he loved?
You…
"It's really not my place to tell who the father is." Luna said. "If you go and see Hermione, you'll immediately recognize their father when you look at them."
Something about the way that she said it, made Harry know. But it couldn't be. He turned and ran. Ran past Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, and burst open the door to Hermione's room. He almost fainted at the sight.
Two pairs of green eyes turned to meet his and three pairs of green eyes widened when recognition occurred.
They were identical, Harry could tell immediately. They both had curly jet-black hair that looked slightly unruly and green eyes. Hermione's hair curled when it was short, and his hair was always unruly, even when he used magic to try and tame it. And those eyes, they were his eyes; he'd recognize them anywhere, having stared at them enough times when looking in the mirror. There was no denying it, from the identical expressions of shock on their faces (mirroring his), to the look of fright that appeared a couple seconds later on one their faces (resembling Hermione's). The little girls belonged to both him and Hermione.
"You're supposed to be dead." One of them piped up. She was accusing him really; eyes narrowed as if she were cross with him and already knew his secret. His inner coward. She reminded him of someone; he just couldn't put his finger on it.
"He's a ghost!" The frightened one shrieked.
"Jane!" The accusing one screamed.
Harry rushed forward and caught the girl as she fainted and fell off the bed. Thank goodness his Seeker reflexes were still sharp or she'd have burst her head and possibly gotten a concussion.
Seconds later when Luna, Molly and Arthur rushed in, the one on the bed screamed and cemented his paternity.
"Daddy killed her!"
The whole time, Hermione remained silent. Trapped in the past an unable to rescue her babies from the ghost that had come back to haunt them.
**~*~*~**~*~*~**
-->