A/N - PLEASE READ otherwise you'll get a bit confused. Originally this was going to be two one-shots, until I thought that chapter one (Talking with Ginny) isn't very H/Hr, so it all became one story and grown into three chapters. Which is why, this chapter is a year and a bit after the first chapter and seen from Harry's perspective, not Hermione's. So note - this is after Dumbledore's death, after Harry and Ginny had dated and the whole HBP thing has happened. And since this chapter just grew and grew, I've split it up with the next chapter continuing on, time wise and perspective wise, to this one. Does that all make sense? I hope so. Anyway - I hope you enjoy. And thank you for your lovely reviews to the first chapter. You guys all rock.
Breaking Up
It was with a bit more than a little concern that Harry entered the library in search for his friend. It was the third time Hermione had missed dinner and it was a habit he was finding slightly disturbing. It didn't take him long to see her, hunched over a book and a pile of parchment, scribbling madly. He frowned as he watched her before taking a deep breath, putting a smile on his face and making his way to her table.
"Hey Hermione," he said happily as he sat down next to her, "watcha reading?"
"H…Harry," she stuttered, looking at him with shock, "what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at dinner?"
"Yep, and so should you," he replied, trying to see what she was studying so intently at the same time she tried to hide the text from him, "so I came looking for you. Watcha reading?"
"Nothing," she shot back at him, frantically trying to hide her book but not before Harry saw the flying figures of Quidditch players move past her spread fingers.
"Quidditch?" he exclaimed, grabbing the book from her now limp hands, "you're reading a book on Quidditch?"
"I just thought…"
" 'Chudley Cannons - An Illustrated History'," Harry recited with a frown, "and you're taking notes?"
"There's nothing wrong with expanding my knowledge base," she snapped as she snatched the book back, reopened it to her place and began to read once more. Harry sighed.
"What's going on, Hermione?" he asked softly.
"Nothing."
"Is this to do with the fight you and Ron had yesterday?" he continued to probe, breathing deeply when he watched her eyes pause on their journey across the page and begin to tear.
He leaned back in his chair and ran a hand through his hair. Ron and Hermione were attempting to date - and Harry was seeing it as only an attempt because he couldn't see a lot of actual dating going on. Sure, in the beginning there had been secret looks and smiles between them that they thought he never noticed, but that was over three months ago.
And sure, he had been so lost in his own private nightmare with the loss of Professor Dumbledore and his own break-up with Ginny that he really hadn't cared too much about his two friends getting together.
Until Bill and Fleur's wedding.
Ron and Hermione kept to their word and stayed with him at the Dursley's until Harry's birthday where they shifted to Grimmauld Place. Harry knew that he had changed, that he had hardened in a way that he thought was necessary and that it was his only way of coping. Hermione had tried to make him feel better and at times she succeeded, bringing him back to normality with a pleasant thump. Her relationship with Ron was simmering in the background but neither of his friends showed any sign while they were around Harry.
Until Bill and Fleur's wedding.
He had gone to the Burrow with more than a little trepidation, and when Ginny had pulled him aside after the ceremony asking why Ron and Hermione could join him on his 'quest' but she couldn't, Harry didn't think his day could get any worse. He had pushed Ginny away, giving the same reasoning as he did at Dumbledore's funeral though even in his own mind, he knew it was a feeble excuse.
Harry initially had no idea why he continued to say no to Ginny. He, Ron and Hermione had already made the decision to return to Hogwarts when it re-opened in a week (its security and library the main motivators) which meant that there was more than ample opportunity to continue his relationship with her. Yet he didn't want to.
It wasn't until he saw Ron and Hermione dancing, saw her laughing at something Ron said, saw her pressed up close to his friend, that he understood. It was at that moment that Harry felt jealous. It was at that moment that he knew that it should be him with Hermione, not Ron. It was that moment he knew that Hermione meant more to him than Ginny could - that any girl could - and he was too late. Hermione had chosen Ron.
They had let Harry know of the change in their relationship the next day - Ron doing most of the talking while Hermione kept her eyes downcast, never once looking at Harry. Harry had said all the right things; that it was great, that it was about time and that they shouldn't worry about him, he'll be fine.
Which he was - on the outside. They never flaunted their relationship in front of him, not even holding hands when the three of them were together. Ron never talked to Harry about what was going on while Hermione, though still supportive and friendly, had backed away from him slightly. Harry tried to act like nothing was different, not acting disappointed when they had plans that only included them, encouraging them to be more affectionate to each other - because he was fine.
But he wasn't fine. He missed Dumbledore terribly and the feeling he was alone was sometimes consuming. Ginny continued her own 'quest' to get Harry back while the search for the Horcruxes proved to be both frustrating and demanding. There was no Quidditch, not that he had time to play anyway, and Hogwarts just wasn't the same without Dumbledore within its walls - the atmosphere was one of sadness mixed with the hard, cold knowledge they were at war and were preparing for the battle of their lives.
And he missed Hermione. He missed her being there, just for him, how she would make sure he was alright before checking on anyone else. How she seemed to understand what he was thinking without him saying it. How she was always just there. He knew that was selfish, that he had never given her any indication that he thought of her as anything more than just a friend. That he had taken her for granted and had now paid the price. He vowed that he'd never take her for granted ever again.
So he had ignored Ron's angry stare when Harry had hugged her after she had worked out where the first Horcrux was, Slytherin's locket (under their noses but hidden away by Kreacher in the bowels of Grimmauld Place) and had started to thank her when she spent hours researching. At first there had been looks of surprise from Hermione, making Harry feel even more guilty as he realised such simple acts of gratitude were something so rare from him that they were unexpected. But he could see that she really appreciated his thanks and sometimes gave him a beautiful smile in return.
A smile that would make his heart break all over again.
One of the most disconcerting things for Harry and his friend's relationship, however, was the initial lack of arguing between the newly formed pair. This was more on the conscious effort of Hermione than a new found understanding on Ron's part - Harry had seen on more than one occasion Hermione biting her tongue and let one of Ron's comments go. It annoyed Harry no end; Hermione's strength of character to stand up for herself was one of the many fantastic traits he had come to admire about his friend. Knowing she was trying to quell that part of her seemed unnecessary.
Lately though, the bickering had begun once more. In fact it had been going on for a while now with the arguments getting more and more personal. What was more disturbing was how often Ron would go to Luna afterwards, having found the Ravenclaw someone he was comfortable talking to. Harry had confronted Ron about Luna and what going on between them. Ron assured him they were only friends and it was no different than when Hermione came to Harry for comfort after one of the now regular rows.
It was that thought that concerned Harry the most. Because he knew that he treasured the moments when Hermione turned to him and that he welcomed the opportunity to hold her in his arms without the worry that it would be misconstrued as wrong. If Luna and Ron were the same, then they were all in trouble.
But Hermione didn't always turn to Harry for help. In fact, she tried to work things out on her own, seemingly determined to keep her relationship with Ron separate from her relationship with Harry. So Harry watched and watched with interest. He saw her hurt every time Ron had a go and saw that she really wasn't going to be able to take much more. He tried to help, but she wouldn't let him so he had to stand back and watch his friends self-destruct slowly and painfully.
Which brought him to now, to Hermione reading a book on the Chudley Cannons because Ron had accused her on not trying to understand him, that she just expected him to know what she meant when she talked about one thing or another but had never even tried to understand Quidditch. Harry knew it was untrue, that Hermione knew enough about the sport to get by and she never expected anyone to understand the wonder that was her mind. But Ron wouldn't listen and Hermione had already relented and was now studying Quidditch when she should be eating.
"It doesn't matter," she finally replied, having got herself under control, "besides, he was right…"
"You don't need to do this…" Harry interrupted.
"Yes I do," Hermione angrily retorted, turning to him her eyes blazing underneath their sheen of moisture, "boys like sporty girls and if you haven't noticed, sport isn't one of my fortes. If I want to keep Ron, I need to do this! Not all of us are blessed and perfect like Ginny!"
With that she quickly gathered all her stuff together and stormed out of the library, leaving a slightly confused Harry in her wake.
Perfect like Ginny, he thought with a shake of his head, Ginny's not perfect. You are.
But she will never know that, not while she's with Ron anyhow (compliments don't seem to be his forte). Sighing, Harry left the library and made his way to the kitchen, hoping Dobby will be able to make him something to eat.
The following morning Harry arrived at breakfast amongst talk of a friendly Quidditch match with Ravenclaw. The official games had been cancelled due to security risks but it seemed the need to play outweighed the dangers.
"So, whatcha think Harry?" Ron asked excitedly as Harry sat and reached for the pumpkin juice.
"Count me out," he replied with a frown, "I've got too much to do - as do you Ron. Besides, McGonagall banned Quidditch for a reason, I don't think…"
"You have to play!" Ginny exclaimed from her seat at his side, "we don't have a team if you aren't the seeker!"
"Well, I'm afraid you don't have a team then," Harry carried on, buttering his toast, "because I'm not playing."
"Playing what?"
Everyone looked at Hermione as she sat down next to Ron, casually pouring herself some pumpkin juice. Harry saw that she looked exhausted and frowned.
"Nothing," Ron said a little too quickly, making Hermione look at him with concern.
"What's going on Ron?" she asked a bit more forcibly, glancing between her boyfriend and his sister when she saw them exchange looks.
"Er…nothing, nothing really," Ron managed to stammer out, "we were just thinking of having a…a chess tournament and Harry said he wasn't going to play. To scared of loosing."
Hermione stared at Ron before looking at Ginny and then Harry. Harry couldn't hold her gaze and quickly looked back at his breakfast, suddenly finding his bacon and eggs very interesting.
"Don't lie to me," he heard Hermione growl, making him look up once more in time to see Ron's ears turn a lovely shade of red (never a good sign) and Hermione scowl in anger.
"What makes you think I'm lying to you?" Ron asks harshly.
"Because I know you Ron Weasley, and I know when you're lying."
"No, you assume that I'm lying," Ron spat back, "you don't trust me, you never have!"
"That's unfair!"
"But it's true!" he retorted, facing her, "and you know something? I am lying! I'm lying 'cause I know if I told you the truth, you'd give me this lecture that would go on for hours and ruin everything!"
"So let me get this straight," Hermione hissed, "you're mad at me for accusing you of lying, when you actually are lying? I don't believe this…"
"Why not? You never believe anything I say so why is this any different?"
The table went deathly silent as Hermione glared at Ron, but bit her tongue. Soon normal breakfast noises resumed as the couple's classmates steadily ignored the warring pair. Harry watched as Hermione took a deep, calming breath though her cheeks remained flushed and her hands shook with anger.
"What is it that you're going to play?" she asked, biting out every word.
"Quidditch," Ron answered defiantly, "and I know all your arguments - that we have research to do, that Quidditch is banned, that we could have some 'quality time' - but I don't care. We've been stuck in that library for months and I want a day off!"
"You want to play Quidditch," she growled, "a game that has been banned due to the war and concern about the safety of players…"
"We'll be perfectly safe," Ginny put in, the only other person other than Harry still paying attention.
"And you're willing to guarantee that Ginny?" Hermione spat at her, turning to her, eyes blazing, "are you willing to put all your team mate's lives in danger just because of a stupid game!"
"Aren't you being slightly over dramatic Hermione?" Ginny sneered, "we're in Hogwarts, it's perfectly safe…"
"Just like last year?" Hermione practically screamed, "don't you get it? Nowhere is safe any more! We have rules that are there to protect us and this time you won't just get detention if you break them - you could get yourself killed!"
"Give it rest Herms," Ron started - Hermione turned to him, making him actually cringe.
"What did you call me?" she growled.
"You heard."
It was like watching a train wreck, Harry knew what was coming, knew it was going to be bad - but he couldn't look away. He could see Hermione fighting for control while Ron sat and waited as if he wanted her to loose it.
But she didn't. Instead she just stood and looked down at him.
"I can't do this anymore Ron," she said with a resigned weariness, "you win."
With that, Hermione turned on her heel and left the Great Hall, with nearly everyone watching. As soon as she was out of sight, Harry angrily turned to Ron, who sat slumped opposite him.
"What the bloody hell was that all about?" he demanded; Ron just seemed to slump further.
"Leave it Harry," Ron muttered sadly, "this has nothing to do with you."
"Like hell it's got nothing to do with me!" Harry gritted out, leaning over his forgotten breakfast and glaring at Ron, "you've just accused Hermione over a bunch of bollocks like it was some type of sport! You were totally out of order!"
"I know," Ron agreed as he looked up at Harry, his eyes swimming with unshed tears, "can you go to her Harry, make sure she's alright?"
"You want me to go to her?" Harry repeated, startled by Ron's request.
"Yeah, and make sure she's okay," Ron carried on.
"Hermione will be fine," Ginny cut in glancing between Harry and her brother, "she just needs to cool down, think things through…"
"No Ginny, she needs Harry," Ron sighed, standing and looking back to Harry, "will you go and find her?"
"Sure," Harry answered, standing also and steadfastly ignoring the scowling Ginny at his side. Ron nodded his acknowledgement before ambling out of the Hall. Harry went to follow but found himself held back by Ginny's small hand on his arm.
"Why don't you let me have a word with her," the redhead purred, "girl to girl."
Harry looked down at his ex-girlfriend and frowned. He knew she and Hermione hadn't really been getting on for a while now, that although they were polite to each other, they weren't close and that Ginny was probably the last person Hermione would want to see about now. Besides, it was his job to help Hermione out.
"I don't think so Gin," Harry told her with a hint of a smile as he tried to step past her - but was once more halted as she manoeuvred her way in front of him.
"Why are you always running off after her," Ginny angrily whispered, all pretence of nicety gone, "anyone would think you fancy her or something!"
Harry nearly bit back but decided why bother. Instead, he just gave Ginny a last look of disgust then hurried out of the Hall to find Hermione.
He knew she would head for the lake, even though it was close to snow and no-one bar Hagrid would venture outside. Sure enough, there were a set of footprints marking the frosty ground, leading out of the main doors and down to the lake. Harry began to run so he could catch up, trying hard to ignore the biting wind that snuck through his cloak.
He spotted her lone figure just ahead of him, her hair being wiped around by the breeze as her head was bent downwards.
"Hermione!" he called out as he came to her side.
"Go away Harry," she told him as she carried on walking,
"Hermione, please," he continued, not failing to see her tears or the fact she was feeling the cold, "all I want to do is help…"
"Well you can't help me this time!" she fired at him, turning to him with such venom Harry stopped and took a step back, "unless you can make me beautiful and more attractive to boys, there's nothing you can do!"
With that, she turned on her heel and carried on storming away.
"I think you're beautiful."
The words left his mouth before he really realised what he had said. He watched as she stopped mid stride as everything around her seemed to still - even her hair lay momentarily undisturbed down her back.
But nothing about Harry was still. His heart was beating a million times a minute while a stream of swear words continually through his brain as he cursed himself for his stupidity. He thought about running away and just leaving her there, that her fight with Ron will make her forget his stupid comment. But he was trapped, stunned as good as any spell. He needed to see her reaction.
Hermione slowly turned around, her shock evident on her face. She took a few steps towards him, allowing him to see that a new lot of tears pooled in her eyes. Harry was nervous.
"Wh…what did you say?" she asked tentatively.
"I…er," Harry stammered out, madly thinking of a way to make things right, "um…you must be freezing! Here, take my cloak."
He quickly unfastened his cloak and draped it over her shoulders, making sure he didn't touch her in any way. Hermione just stood there and accepted the cloak wordlessly, still staring at him as if he was one of her puzzles to solve.
Harry, however, suddenly realised just how cold it was as he wrapped his arms around himself in an attempt to stay warm.
"What did you say Harry?" Hermione asked again, this time her voice soft and a little bit scared.
"I said that I thought you were beautiful, because you are," Harry replied with a bit more confidence, the tone in her voice letting him know that he needed to tell her the truth.
She didn't say anything and instead just stood there looking at him. He could tell she was thinking and when she dropped her gaze to a spot on the ground, her brow pulled into a frown, he knew she was thinking hard. But he was freezing now and needed to get somewhere a bit warmer.
"Hermione?" he ventured, ready to suggest they head back into the castle but when she looked back at him, her tears now falling, he realised that he may have made a huge mistake. She stared at him for a moment before turning and running quickly away. He went to chase after her, to do the job that he had come out here to do, but instead he just watched her go knowing that maybe this time it was his fault she was upset.
With a heavy heart, Harry made his way back into the castle, quickly warming himself with a charm before making his way slowly to the Research Room. Professor McGonagall had allocated a room to the trio so they could research the Horcruxes without disturbance, with it charmed so only Harry, Ron or Hermione could enter.
Harry entered it now and slumped dejectedly onto one of the large armchairs that faced the stoked fire. What a morning, and it wasn't even nine o'clock! Harry wondered if anything would ever be the same again, whether the friendship between Ron and Hermione would ever be able to overcome the failure of their romantic relationship. And if they couldn't, would he have to choose between his two best friends.
And he needed them - not just because they were his friends but because he knew he couldn't defeat Voldemort without them. Without both Ron and Hermione by his side, there was even a lesser chance of him winning.
Harry sighed. What was going to happen now? Had he messed it up with Hermione with his 'I think you're beautiful' comment? Even though it was true, he did think she was the prettiest girl in Hogwarts, telling her straight after she had a huge fight with her boyfriend wasn't the greatest of moves. Groaning to himself, he stayed there for a few moments longer, going over everything in his head before dragging himself to the work table and attempting to continue on with their research.
By the time Harry went to bed, not a lot of researching actually got done. Nor had he seen either Ron or Hermione all day but Seamus had seen them go to the Room of Requirement together, doing goodness knows what (but the idea they had spent all day making up was just a little too much for Harry to handle).
He was still awake when he heard Ron finally return to the dorm although it was close to midnight.
"Harry," Ron whispered loudly, just making himself heard above the other boys snores, "are you still awake?"
Breathing deeply and wondering what was going to happen next, Harry let out a hesitant,
"Yeah."
Pulling open the curtains around Harry's bed, Ron's face peeked through looking tired but otherwise quite relaxed.
"I thought you would be," the redhead said with a smirk, sitting down on the edge of Harry's bed.
"You okay?" Harry asked, pulling himself upright, allowing Ron more room to get comfortable, then grabbed his glasses, "I got a bit worried when I didn't see you for dinner."
"We got Dobby to get us something to eat," Ron explained, "hey, can I have a word?"
"Sure," Harry answered quickly then waited as Ron cast a muffiliato, just in case (Harry guessed) any of their room mates were feigning sleep.
"Hermione and I broke up," Ron stated calmly, his words sinking into Harry stunned brain.
"You…you broke up?" Harry repeated dumbly.
"Yeah," Ron shrugged, "should've done it months ago, would've saved all this bother."
"Months ago," Harry frowned, "but you guys have only been together for a couple of months."
"Nearly four, actually," Ron corrected, "thing is, today was the first real talk we've ever had. Well, after I got over my 'immature pouting and posturing' (I think she called it) then we had a really good chat."
"Really?"
"Yeah," Ron carried on, "we kinda had to, you know, get stuff sorted, otherwise it would've been hard to stay friends…"
"And did you?" Harry interrupted, "get things sorted, I mean. Are…are you both still friends?"
"Believe it or not, we are," Ron grinned, "she let me rant for a while then told me to get my head out of my bum and tell her the truth, which I did. I dunno what you said to her after breakfast mate, but whatever it was, it worked."
"I…I didn't say anything…"
"Anyway, I told her that the reason I'd been so horrid was because I didn't have the courage to actually break up with her, so I thought that if I was bad enough, she'd break up with me…"
"That's stupid," Harry interrupted with a frown.
"I know," Ron chuckled warily, "but you know me and girls - I'm not the sharpest crayon in the box. And in a way, it worked. She was so mad with me today that she felt she had no other choice. Then you spoke to her and instead of hating me, she seemed to understand me a bit better. She even suggested that I try my luck with Luna and that she thought Luna and I are well suited…"
"She did what?"
"Can you believe it?" Ron carried on, openly smiling at Harry's shock, "and then she explained to me why she acts like she does and why she agreed to go out with me in the first place. I must admit, I got a bit…tetchy, I guess. But we talked it through so I see why now and it turns out we're both pretty pathetic really."
"Pathetic?"
"Yeah," Ron chuckled softly, "you see, Harry, I wanted to go out with Hermione because she was the first girl that ever really paid any attention to me. She was there, you know? And then when we actually started the whole dating thing, it wasn't as perfect as I had imagined - she still annoyed the shite out of me and I still annoyed the shite out of her. Meantime, she went out with me because she knew I fancied her and she thought no other bloke ever would so she settled for me."
"No one else would like her?" Harry repeated with a frown, "but that's just…"
"…mental," Ron completed with a shrug, "I know, that's what I said. I told her I knew of blokes right now who fancy her, which she didn't believe at first…"
"You…you know…of…" Harry tried to stammer out, his heart beat extremely quickly as he tried to pick up enough courage to ask exactly who Ron knew liked Hermione at the same time as plotting the unwelcome suitor's demise.
"Yeah," Ron interrupted, smirking, "you."
"Me?"
"Yes you," came the reply, "I've seen how you look at her Harry, how you always make sure she's okay, how you tried so hard to give us a chance even though you really didn't want to."
"Ron, I…" Harry began to explain, ready to deny everything.
"It's okay," Ron interrupted with a grin and a shrug, "I mean, it'll be a bit weird at first but it's like you two are going out together already and as long as you don't snog in front of me, I'll be fine," pausing, he stood and looked down at the flustered Harry, "thing is, I realise that she's really just a friend, a sister, like Ginny. Which means you need to know that if you hurt Hermione in any way, hero or not, I'll hurt you - do you understand?"
"Er…I guess," Harry replied cautiously, still stuck on the fact Ron had just pretty much given him permission to go out with Hermione.
"Good," Ron nodded seriously, "right, I'm off, its been a long day. 'Night Harry."
"Yeah, 'night Ron," Harry said, barely aware that Ron was walking over to his own bed, his mind still going over what his friend had said. Ron and Hermione have broken up. Hermione knows Harry fancies her, thanks to Ron. And Ron has said it was fine for Harry to go out with Hermione.
With a start, Harry looked over at Ron, who was just about to get into bed, and felt that he should say something, something important, something profound.
"Ron," he called out, making Ron pause and look over in his direction.
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
Ron just nodded and smiled before continuing into his bed and lying down. Harry took off his glasses before lying down himself and for the first time in a very long while, Voldemort and Horcruxes weren't his major concern - what would happen next between himself and Hermione overpowered all other thoughts.