A/N - sorry for the delay but, well, there has been issues. I hope you enjoy this though it may not be what everyone is hoping for…
Thank you for your patience. Oh, and thank you all for you lovely comments for the last chapters, I really appreciate them all and wish I had the time to reply. So, thanks.
The Art of Talking
Breakfast the following day was bizarre - there was no other way Harry could describe it. Ron and Hermione were exceptionally polite to each other even with Ron continually glancing over to the Ravenclaw table. Meanwhile, Harry found himself tongue-tied every time he looked at Hermione, studiously ignoring the rest of the Gryffindor's who were watching on curiously.
Harry spent most of the time thinking about what he was going to do, knowing that he should talk to Hermione, bring things out in the open - but his Gryffindor courage had abandoned him.
Ginny wasn't helping matters either by attempting once more to get Harry's attention, making him feel exceptionally uncomfortable as she flirted mercilessly with him, seemingly never giving up.
When breakfast thankfully finished, they all went their separate ways - Ron was going to the library, Hermione back to Grimmauld Place to look at some of the books there while Harry was due in the Research Room.
Shaking off the very persistent Ginny, Harry trudged the familiar route to the warded classroom, trying desperately to ready himself for another Sunday of reading and researching. Like Ron, he was getting pretty fed up with being stuck in a library somewhere and read, but unlike Ron, he suffered in silence.
Sighing heavily, Harry shut the door and leaned back onto it. Of course, boredom wasn't the main reason he didn't want to be alone in a room of books; he knew his brain would be very hard to focus this Sunday morning. He had had little sleep and the knowledge that Hermione knows he likes her continued to invade his thoughts at every available opportunity.
And Hermione and Ron have broken up.
Picking up the book he had been trying to read the day before, he made his way to his chair and fell into it with a weary humph. With parchment and quill at the low table in front of him, he opened the book and tried to do what he needed to do while ignoring the image of Hermione's face when he told her he thought she was beautiful that kept forming on the page. Or the way he had palpitations every time he thought of his conversation with Ron. Shaking his head every now and then in a feeble attempt to get his attention back to the information before him, he tried very, very hard to concentrate.
Which is why he didn't hear Hermione enter the room.
"Hi Harry."
He jumped up so quickly that the book he was reading fell unceremoniously to the ground. Blushing, he picked it up book as fast as he could and held onto it tightly, feeling guilty for many things but the foremost being the knowledge that Hermione would be unimpressed with him damaging a defenceless tome.
"Hermione," he sputtered, "you're back early."
"I found what I was looking for so I thought I might as well come back," she replied as she made her way towards him and her chair, which sat on the other side of the coffee table in front of Harry, "besides, I was hoping we could have a chat."
"Oh."
He really didn't know what else to say as his mind had gone blank with nervousness. She was going to talk about what Ron had mentioned and Harry was petrified. He felt a bit better seeing that Hermione also looked flustered as she sat down and placed her books on the floor beside her chair. Harry copied her, but made sure his eyes never caught hers as he perched stiffly on the edge of his seat.
"I guess Ron has told you he and I broke up last night," she started with resolved assertiveness - Harry chanced glancing up at her, dropping his gaze immediately when she looked defiantly back at him.
"Er…yeah," Harry stammered, painfully aware of how stupid he must be sounding and how incredibly stupidly he was acting.
This is Hermione for Merlin's sake, he thought furiously to himself, your best friend! Stop acting like a prize git!
"I'm really sorry," he carried on, this time with a bit more confidence, "about you and Ron, I mean."
Hermione looked at him curiously, a small smile playing on her lips.
"Don't be," she said with a shrug, "our relationship should never have happened, we both realise that now. I should never have agreed to go out with him."
"Why did you then?"
The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them, making him cringe inwardly at his thoughtlessness. Hermione looked at him, frowning slightly, before looking down at her hands, obviously thinking about her reply. Harry wanted to tell her desperately that she didn't need to answer, that it was okay - he didn't need to know. But he stayed silent as a part of him wanted to know the answer. After a few moments, she looked back up at him and smiled sadly.
"Because I knew Ron fancied me on some strange level," Hermione said quietly, her voice thick with emotion, "and the boy that I liked, well, I was told he'd never fancy someone like me, that I wasn't his type. I was told I should try my luck with Ron instead because he was a sure thing and there was a good chance I wouldn't attract anyone else. Stupid thing was, I believed her…"
"I still don't understand why you'd think that," Harry uttered quietly.
"Why shouldn't I?" Hermione carried on with a resigned shrug, "I know I'm not like other girls, and that boys don't find me attractive. Everything she said was true."
Hermione paused, giving Harry time to think about what she had said. She liked someone who hadn't liked her back - that thought alone igniting a flicker of hope she meant him, knowing he hadn't been that perceptive when it came to how he felt about her for such a long time.
But if it was him, then she thought she wasn't his 'type'. He actually wasn't aware he had a 'type' considering he had only really gone out with Ginny (he didn't count Cho since the whole thing had been such a disaster). And the idea that someone else was determining the 'type' of girl he was attracted to was slightly disconcerting.
Frowning, he wondered who had said these things to Hermione, who had gone out of their way to make her feel like she was second rate. His first thought was of Ron as he had been so horrid to her lately, but Hermione had said 'she'. Lavender and Parvati were the next possibilities and although he surmised that Lavender had the right to be jealous of Hermione, what with her failed relationship with Ron (who then went out with Hermione), he couldn't see Hermione taking anything her dorm mate said too seriously.
The next possibility was Ginny. He knew the two girls were friends (though that did seem to get a bit shaky when Ginny and him started to date) and they may have chatted about this type of stuff. But would Ginny tell Hermione she wouldn't attract boys? That Hermione wasn't his type? That Hermione would be fine with Ron? Harry's frown deepened - yes, Ginny would.
"The little cow," Harry growled, things furiously clicking into place in his brain, "it was Ginny who told you all this…" he waved his hands around as he searched for a word that conveyed the anger he felt without being too vulgar, "rubbish! Yesterday, when you said that you couldn't be perfect, like Ginny, it was because she told you that…the little cow!"
"Don't be too hard on her Harry," Hermione tried to soothe, but he hardly heard her as he stood and began pacing, thinking about…everything.
"I thought you two were friends," he raved, "she said you gave her advice on how to…" pausing as he thought about the conversation at Dumbledore's funeral, he scowled once more, "yet she said that stuff to you! That you couldn't attract anyone!"
"Everything she said to me was true," Hermione said again, still sitting in her seat as she watched the pacing Harry, "she was just stating facts. And I had no reason to doubt her - by that stage I had had one kiss. It was all rather pathetic."
"So had I!" Harry cried, facing her, "and Ron, well, he hadn't…"
"It's different for boys, I think," Hermione interrupted somewhat wistfully, her calmness stopping Harry in his tracks, deflating his annoyance somewhat, "besides, I had Ginny, Lavender and Parvati constantly talking about who they had been with, who they'd like to be with, gossiping, making me feel like a alien because I didn't care about who was caught snogging who. Sometimes I really just didn't want to go to my dorm."
"We didn't really talk much about girls," Harry admitted with a resigned sigh, flopping back down in his chair, "in my dorm it was mainly Quidditch and school."
"Well, that surprises me," Hermione smiled, "from what I read, girls were the main thing teenage boys thought about!"
"Oh, there's thinking going on," Harry smirked, "but not a lot of talking."
"It was the opposite for me," Hermione sighed, "a lot of talking and not much thinking. Girls can be so silly sometimes."
"Even you?"
"Even me," Hermione sighed again, "last year, I was so stupid what with one thing or another. I still can't believe I agreed to go out with Cormac - ugh!"
"Not one of your better moves," Harry chuckled.
"No, no it wasn't," she replied softly before taking a deep breath and looking at him, "but I had to do something. Ginny's words had hurt and I could see you falling for her which made me realise that perhaps she didn't have my best intentions at heart when she gave me her advice, that she had lied to me…"
"Lied?"
"Ginny had liked you for so long Harry," Hermione explained quietly, "and I think she saw me as a threat. She said what she did so I would back away, not be the most dominate girl in your life…"
Harry once more thought about what Hermione had just said and frowned. Although he didn't agree with what Ginny had done, she had been right. When he had tried things with Cho, the Ravenclaw had gotten jealous over his relationship with Hermione, and when he had had to make a choice, he had chosen his best friend.
Throughout his sixth year at Hogwarts, Hermione had been distant. Although she had still been there with him, helping him, she wasn't there as much as she had been the year prior. Giving him the opportunity to turn his attention to Ginny. Yet for the important stuff - the Horcruxes, the prophecy - it had been Hermione he had turned to, not Ginny. Ginny had still come in second.
"When you two started dating, I was happy for you, I really was," Hermione continued, "she made you smile and relax, something I could never do. I knew that I loved you but I also knew I had lost you. I thought you didn't see me as a girl and that you never would. I would always be Hermione, your bookish best friend that nags you and tells you what to do and what not to do all the time. So when Ron got enough courage to ask me out, I said yes."
She paused for a moment as she got her thoughts together and Harry let her, thinking about her words. He was still concentrating when she began to speak, her voice low and anxious.
"Then you started to be different around me; you thanked me, was more attentive. I was confused because I had finally given up on you, finally realised that Ginny was right - you would never be attracted to someone like me, the opposite in so many ways to the girls you liked.
"I had it all worked out; it wasn't working with Ron no matter how much I tried so I needed to end it and just get used to the idea that I would be alone. I had it all planned until you went and told me that I was beautiful."
She looked up at him then, her large eyes shinning with tears. He didn't know what to say, only that it was true - but the words wouldn't come.
"I had to get you to repeat it because it didn't seem real," she said, barely above a whisper, her eyes searching his, "and when you told me you thought I was beautiful again, I could see that you actually meant it. Ginny was wrong."
"Ginny was wrong," Harry repeated, dazed, but somewhere in the mess that was his brain, he realised that this conversation could possibly be the most important of his life and he needed to make sure he didn't mess it up.
"With those few words you made me feel more special than Ron ever did in the four months we were together," she continued, "I already knew I had to end it with Ron, finish what we both knew was a mistake and even if you and I never happened, it didn't matter. We have always had something special and we always will…"
"What if we did happen?"
His words stopped her suddenly, her eyes widening in shock.
"Pardon?"
"Nothing," he said quickly, ducking his head in the hope that she couldn't see that he was lying. Hermione didn't speak but instead made her way to him, moving aside the papers on the table before perching on its edge and sitting in front of him, taking his clammy, shaking hands in hers.
"Harry," she began, "look at me." With his heart thuddering in his chest, he raised his eyes and returned her gaze. She wanted answers to questions that hadn't been asked but they both knew what they were and as Harry's heart and head began to have their own personal battle inside him, he stumbled for something to say.
"Hermione, we can't…" he ventured, his head winning the first fight.
"Don't say we can't try Harry," she pleaded softly, "don't say you and I won't work because we both know that's a lie. I know you so well and I can see in your face that you want to…"
"You'll be in more danger," Harry interrupted, "if Voldemort finds out you and I are together, he'll target you…"
"I'm already a target, I'm already in danger," she countered, "us being together won't change that."
"But…but," he tried to vocalise his other arguments, "I won't be able to like a proper boyfriend, you know, take you out and stuff! I can't even promise you a future…"
"Don't you dare Harry Potter," she admonished sharply, fire lighting her eyes, "don't you dare think you have no future! You will get through this challenge - I won't let you die. And the other stuff? Honestly, you know that isn't important to me. I have been dating Ron after all."
"And that's another thing," Harry continued with a bit more confidence, "you and Ron. You've just broken up! He's my best friend!"
"He thinks you and I should give it a go…"
"I know, I know! But you and him, you've liked each other for ages. It's not like just switching a switch - one minute you like him and the next minute you like me…"
"Harry," she cut in though all sharpness in her tone gone, "I still like Ron, that will never change. But I love you and I have done for so long now…"
"Lo…love?" he stammered, his beating heart increasing its tempo for a whole new reason. Hermione loves him? But no-one loves him…
"Yes Harry, love," she explained even more softly, "you have had my heart for many years now and if anything, going out with Ron has shown me that really, no-one else ever will replace you. Even if you marry someone else and have twenty kids, I will still love you."
Harry just stared at her blankly as he tried to process what she was telling him. She loved him, and has done for a while even when thinking that she didn't have a chance of being chosen by him. She loved him when he had gone mental over Cho then Ginny, never once indicating that she was jealous or anything. She loved him even though she knew he was scared about fighting Lord Voldemort and that he relied on her, Ron and others to help him win - that he wasn't the hero painted in the Prophet. She loved him.
"Harry?"
Her voice cut through his thoughts, making him refocus on her face. He was wondering if she'd be upset that he hadn't said that he loved her back, that that's what she would be expecting. But all he saw was the same Hermione that had always been there for him, concern showing in her eyes and slightly furrowed brow.
He knew he should say something, something profound, something that would cement the foundations of the relationship that he knew was forming. Everything was out in the open now - she knew he liked her and he knew she like him, no loved him. He needed to let her know that he agreed with her, that his arguments against their getting together had been weak so yes, they should give it a go. But his mind was blank as he stared into the eyes that were nearly as familiar to him as his own.
So he kissed her.
It wasn't as romantic as he had sometimes pictured it - them coming together in a passionate embrace that led to so much more, the earth moving while fireworks exploded in the sky above. Instead their noses clashed and her shock of his actions caused her to lean back suddenly, making her slip unceremoniously off the table and onto the floor.
"Ow!" she cried out as her backside hit the floor rather heavily.
"Hermione!" Harry exclaimed as he quickly knelt down beside her with the notion of helping her back up, "are you alright?"
"You kissed me," she stated, staring at him with disbelief, not moving.
"Er…yeah," he said nervously, "um…"
But he didn't get a chance to say anything else as she held his face between her hands and kissed him back. This time there was no clumsiness - just pure, fantastic snogging. Harry's mind got stuck on the fact that this was Hermione and it was the best kissing he had ever experienced for just a moment before his hormones took over, telling him that he was definitely enjoying the experience.
Her hands were in his hair, eliciting amazing sensations throughout his body, while his hands found their way to her waist, pulling her in tightly towards him. Instincts had defiantly taken over as he manoeuvred her backwards so she was now lying on the floor with him hovering above her, still kissing her frantically. His hands began to explore as if they knew what they were doing, and the feel of her skin soft and warm under his touch caused even more amazing sensations numbing his brain.
When she broke away from their kiss, he automatically began trailing kisses down her neck as if it was the most natural thing to do. When she let out a small, husky groan his kisses got stronger and more bolder as he nudged away the collar of her shirt to give him access of her breastbone.
"Harry," she breathed, her voice barely making through the fog of his brain, "Harry, you need to stop."
The word 'stop' awakened his morality and quickly toned down the hormones that had taken him over. He scrambled off of her, allowing her to sit and readjust her shirt that had risen dangerously high and tame down her untameable hair a little.
"Oh God," he moaned, knowing he was blushing furiously, "I'm so sorry Hermione! I…I didn't…"
"You don't need to apologise," she smirked shyly, "I, well, I was enjoying…that was…well, wow."
"I think wow kind of covers it," Harry agreed, looking at her slightly embarrassed.
"If we didn't stop then, I don't think I would've had the will power to stop you at all," Hermione confessed, entwining her hands with his, "you're an amazing kisser Harry."
"Er…thanks," he stammered, blushing once more, "you're not too bad yourself."
"Thanks."
They sat there for a moment or two, just holding hands and looking at each other, knowing that everything between them had changed - hopefully for the better.
"I'm glad we had this chat," she said finally, her smile never leaving her face.
"So am I," Harry confirmed with a small nod.
"Does this mean we're going to give us a try?" she asked.
"Are you sure you want to?" he asked back, not quite believing that all this was actually happening.
"Honestly Harry," she admonished, smacking his arm lightly, "haven't you heard a word I've been saying at all?"
"I heard that you and Ron broke up, that Ginny was a cow, that Ron thinks you and I should be together, that you don't care about the danger being with me will put you in and that you love me."
"Just the important stuff," she grinned before leaning in for another kiss," that's my Harry."