Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from the Harry Potter universe. I've just borrowed them and will return them safely to where I've taken them from.
Welcome back!
Warning, angsty stuff ahead! And... No, shan't tell.
Enjoy! Comments welcome.
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Chapter 9 - Troubled girls
"They're talking about closing down the orphanage."
It was breakfast time again. Two weeks had passed since Amy's murder, and the orphanage had seen more visitors than during the previous two years. Policemen were guarding the place now, in case Sirius decided to come back. Harry considered this very unlikely.
Now, Ginny had shown up with another nasty piece of news.
"I just overheard Helen talk to the Head Inspector", she told her friends. "He said he was worried about the future. After all, we're almost cut off from the rest of the world. I mean, no one really cares about orphans, but they still don't want us to be murdered in our beds."
"Oh, come on..."
"We'll all end up in different places, won't we?" Neville asked sadly.
They fell silent at that. The thought certainly was not a pleasant one.
Then Luna spoke up. "I take it nothing has been decided yet, right, Ginevra?"
"Oh, don't call me that." Ginny made a face as the others laughed. "Well, but they're talking about it, so it's only a question of time. Unless of course Sirius was caught..."
She turned towards Harry.
"Hey - don't you think your freak in the woods might know something?"
"Keep your voice down", Harry hissed. He was uncomfortably aware of Tom listening in, even though Riddle made every pretence at an unconcerned face. The fact that he was sitting closer to them than usually was suspicious in itself.
"And anyway", Harry said firmly, "we're not going there again." He waited for the usual squeeze of his hand that showed him Hermione appreciated his words, and when it did not come, he turned towards her. "Right?"
Hermione looked deeply confused about something. "What? Oh, sorry, I just..."
"We're not going into the forest again, right?" Harry repeated quietly for her. He could not help but feel a little disappointed.
"Oh."
That definitely was not a satisfying answer. "Hermione... are you okay?"
"I'm fine." She yawned. "I have not been sleeping well, I guess. Sorry."
Ginny was drumming her fingers impatiently on the table. "Well? Finished your little conference with your significant other?"
"Stop being so mean, Gin", Ron told her off. "Anyway, Harry, why not give the forest another go? I don't get it. After all, we've discovered our powers. I'd love to try out them with a proper wand and all..." He sighed fondly.
"You don't know that madman", Harry said. "He was friendly enough towards Hermione and me, but I reckon we were lucky. He tried to attack us!"
"But that was because he wanted to try your powers, wasn't it?" Ron said keenly, talking over him. "Don't be like that, Harry. Anyway, we're enough in number even against his henchmen. C'mon..."
"It sounds like a chance", Neville chimed in. "If they really close down the orphanage, I don't know what I'll do."
Harry sighed. "Okay, but we're waiting at least until the next full moon; we don't have torch lights..."
"You've got your wands, come on..."
Seeing he was not going to win this one, Harry finally yielded.
After breakfast, however, he went into his room to think once more. Was there no way to at least delay their trip to the forest? As much as he would hate for the orphanage to close down, he still dreaded going to that hut again... and those veils...
They had lessons that morning, so Harry went downstairs again without having found a solution.
Hermione was not there for the first lesson, and when she showed up for the second, she did not look at anyone, let alone talk. Harry felt deeply worried. What was wrong with her?
A terrible idea came to him. What if, after all that happened with regard to Sirius, she was having second thoughts about their engagement?
He would have to talk about that with her.
***
In the evening, Ron came to Harry and Neville's room.
"So... are we leaving?"
"Tonight?" Harry asked wearily, but he stuffed his wand into his sleeve nonetheless.
They met the girls at the staircase. Ginny was looking fierce, Luna was gazing dreamily into different spheres, and Hermione seemed a little forlorn, huddled into a corner. Harry walked towards her and offered his hand with a smile.
There was something reluctant in the way she accepted - or was he imagining this?
They walked down the staircase together. Ron was in high spirits, bouncing up and down and talking endlessly. Neville, never having been an extravert, seemed to be consumed by an inward joy. Luna was smiling at them both. Watching them, Harry suddenly felt it might not be such a bad thing after all to lead them into the forest. Who knew, the madman had been friendly once, so why should he not be when more "chicken" with the power came to him?
"Careful to keep quiet", he warned them. With a slight spring in his step, he descended the stairs and turned towards the entrance hall.
Tom Riddle was standing at the entrance.
Harry froze. Ron bumped into him. "Ouch! What-"
"Shh!"
To his horror, Harry now heard the heavy boots of a policeman thundering in the corridor that led towards the infirmary.
"Back upstairs!"
***
"That was brilliant", Ginny said angrily, glaring at Harry. "Now we'll never get a chance to go to the forest."
"Are you saying we should have risked it?" Harry demanded, flaring up. "I'd like to see you push Riddle out of the way and say, sorry, we're just going for a walk in the forest, never mind, and what with the policemen already on our scent!"
"What was Riddle doing there anyway?" Ron asked, creasing his eyebrows.
"Yeah..." Harry said slowly. "Just as if he knew we were coming."
"It could be coincidence", Neville suggested. Ginny snorted.
"He must have overheard us at breakfast", Luna said dreamily, gazing out of the window. "Ginevra was talking ever so loudly, I did think he might be listening..."
"Now don't make it my fault!" Ginny said furiously.
Luna turned her dreamy eyes towards the redheaded girl. "You have talked to Tom Riddle once before."
Ginny went scarlet. "So what?"
"Stop it", Ron said sharply. "Both of you. Luna, don't go accusing Ginny. And Ginny, sorry, but Luna has a point. Have you told Riddle anything?"
"I wouldn't!"
"Or have you let slip anything in his presence?"
"Never!" Now her voice was on the verge of tears.
"You don't exactly mind him getting wind of what we're planning, though, do you?"
Ginny shook her head. "No", she whispered.
Harry let go of Hermione's hand and approached Ginny carefully.
"Look, Ginny", he said quietly. "We've promised not to hide anything from each other, and -"
"I'm not hiding anything!"
"Oh, stop it", Hermione said wearily from the bed.
Ginny glared at her. "So you're also suspecting me, Hermione!"
"No", Hermione replied, looking very tired. "It was I who told Riddle, after all."
Harry closed his eyes and did not open them for a full minute. He had not, he could not, have heard correctly.
The air had changed perceptibly when he opened his eyes again. Ron had sunk down on a chair and buried his face in his hands. He looked exactly as Harry felt. Neville was sitting next to a sleeping Emil, trembling from head to food. Ginny was staring at Hermione as though she had never seen her properly before. Luna had occupied herself with a school book.
Hermione was leaning against the wall, breathing deeply. Her eyes were only half closed, so she was not asleep.
"He made you." Please.
Hermione smiled feebly but did not open her eyes to face him.
"Oh, Harry, don't say that. I told him on my own free will."
"Why?" he yelled.
"I'm so - tired", she replied softly. For a second, he did not understand. But then, he lunged forward as she slid to the floor with a moan.
***
The policeman had gone to sleep on the lowermost stair, but Riddle was still in the entrance hall when Harry came pelting down the staircase in a fury, brandishing his fists.
Tom turned to face Harry. A slightly amused smile was playing around his lips.
"You!!" Harry yelled.
"How can I help you, Potter?" Riddle asked pleasantly.
"What have you done to Hermione!"
Tom did not reply at once. Instead, his eyes were fixed intently on his fingernails.
"Interesting you would ask that. After all, I have already told you that she is mine. And yet, you decided to make her your fiancé. Oh, you should know I could not tolerate that."
"Leave her alone!"
"Dear, dear. What a nasty temper."
And before Harry had time to react, he was sent flying into the wall. Scrambling to his feet, he pulled out his wand from his sleeve and pointed it, his hand shaking, at Riddle.
Riddle froze.
And then he laughed, a harsh, high-pitched laugh that made the hairs on Harry's neck stand on end.
"What, thinking of attacking me, Potter? Me? Look at yourself - you're trembling - you're scared! You should know perfectly well, Potter, that I was born with this power, and that it has grown with me! There is no getting past me!"
A rushing sound filled Harry's ears. The hatred surging through his veins was so powerful he kept his wand fixed on Riddle, wanting to harm him, wanting to -
"Kill him, Harry."
It was like awaking roughly from a dream. Harry looked around wildly.
The rushing sound he had heard had not been his pulse throbbing in his ears. He was already ankle-deep in yellow liquid. And from the liquid emerged -
"What is this madness?" demanded Riddle.
A man. Only he wasn't real.
At first, it was merely a tall fountain, but Harry immediately sensed that someone was hiding underneath. And indeed, when the watery curtain fell, it revealed a tall, slender man. He was not young. He had a long beard and long hair; Harry was sure those would have been as white as snow had not the yellow liquid portrayed him. And he was wearing half-moon shaped spectacles. It was him -
"Dumbledore", breathed Riddle. His voice was drenched with hate.
"Kill him, Harry", said the thing that was called Dumbledore.
Harry's hand was shaking harder than ever. He did not have a clue what was going on.
Nor did Riddle. He was standing on the opposite side of the entrance hall, glaring at Harry and the figure of the bearded man in disbelief.
"What are you doing? Make it stop!"
"I can't!" Harry shouted. And then, "help me!"
The bearded man looked deeply shocked. "No, Harry -"
Yellow water washed over him - and then, he was gone.
Chest heaving, Harry took a step towards Riddle.
"You know that man?"
"I do", Riddle said offhandedly. He seemed to have regained his composure already.
"Who is he?"
"Now, do you really think I'd tell you that?"
"You said he was called Dumbledore. I - I know that name!"
The moment Harry had spoken these words, he realized they were true. He grasped at the memory, but it was too faint -
"You cannot know that name, Potter."
Riddle's eyes never left Harry. He was speaking in a soft, yet cruel, voice.
"Harry!"
Ginny came dashing down the stairs into the entrance hall. "What are you doing? We heard noises, and -"
She skidded to a halt, now looking at Tom.
"What have you been doing?" she demanded.
"Nothing", Riddle said in a dangerously quiet voice.
"I told you to leave him alone!"
This confused Harry to no end. "Ginny, what -"
Riddle's face was contorted with fury. Ginny, however, seemed unimpressed.
"I gave you what you wanted! Now be peaceful!"
"Shut up, diary girl!"
Ginny flinched horribly.
"Don't call me that", she hissed. "It has no meaning. It cannot -"
"Oh, of course it doesn't." Riddle smiled cruelly.
"What are you talking about?" Harry demanded.
Ginny averted her face.
Tom, however, smiled with cold pleasure.
"Ah, she has not told you everything, has she? Let's just say she provided me entrance to somewhere I would not have been able to go otherwise. In exchange, I promised to spare your petty life, unless, of course, you'd foolishly decide to come to me yourself. It was only a question of time; not that I'd be troubled by you. You're after all, a much easier prey than -"
"Harry", Ginny cut through Tom's words. "You had better go and look after Hermione. She's in my room."
"Certainly. Send her my best wishes", Riddle said idly.
It was a taunt, Harry knew it. Yet, it was something real in this more than absurd situation, and he was more than ready to yield to it.
"Right", he said in a forcibly calm manner. "You still haven't answered my question, Riddle. What have you done to Hermione?"
"You should ask that yourself, Potter", Tom replied lazily. "She would be fine if you had never approached her. I warned you that she is mine. You ignored me. It's your reward for not caring about her."
"I care!"
Riddle's face was smug. "Oh, certainly. But does she care about you?"
Harry fell silent.
"You see", Riddle went on, "you and I, we resemble each other a lot, in appearance and in character. Quiet! It's true. You know that perfectly well."
"Right... So it was you who attacked Sirius", Harry said through clenched teeth.
"Decide that for yourself. You, after all, did push Amy down the stairs and into her death."
"That was you!"
"Oh, was it?" Tom retorted swiftly. "I was under the impression that I merely walked past. You, on the other hand, were furious with her, and with reason. Unluckily, I was the one to inform you about how she had used my powers to seduce you." He sighed. "You have it in you, Potter. Admit that. Yes, you are like me."
Harry felt stunned. He no longer knew what to believe. Was he really that horrible?
"Don't listen to him, Harry", Ginny said sharply. "It's part of his cunningness."
"Oh, I am merely giving your dear friend something to think about. And now, to your question." He heaved another tragic sigh.
"Ah, the wishful thinking surely has worked for you, Potter. It is with deepest regret that I must inform you that Hermione Granger has never loved you. It is her belief in the good that should also be inside of you - er - very deep down. But she loves me, Potter, oh yes, from the moment she first laid eyes on me, although she was scared of me. I have a bad reputation, after all... She is in so much pain about having to put up with you for my sake, but at least, she is with someone who resembles me closely enough...
"I will allow you to continue with your little - erm - project. It amuses me to no end. Train your dear friends into wizards, if you must, but remember, in the end, I shall be victorious."
And he laughed that heartless, cold laugh of his.
"Come, Harry", Ginny said, taking Harry's arm and throwing Riddle a look of deepest disgust. Harry was feeling entirely defeated. He allowed her to lead him up the staircase, where he shook off her hand and rounded on her.
"What was Riddle talking about, anyway? Why did he call you a 'diary girl'? What is it that you provided him entrance to so he'd leave me alone? Ginny, you said you had no secrets from us!"
"I can't tell you now", Ginny said pleadingly, looking troubled. "I'm just asking you to believe that I've never been against you!"
Harry snorted.
"I'm sorry, but if this is how you want it to be, I cannot be your friend."
And he stormed off to his room.
***
Harry was in half a mind not to talk to Hermione anymore. The thought was, however, impossible to bear. It made him feel double his weight with sheer misery.
Over the following days, he was positively circling around Hermione. She, on the other hand, frequently avoided his eyes and kept well clear of him and the others. In light of the recent events, the government had decided to double the guards and the students were barely left alone. Well, at least the place was not closed down for good, Harry thought.
He could not visit Hermione in her room, not after what had happened with Ginny. He did try to approach her in the common room, and once over breakfast, but Riddle's eyes were on him, and the triumph in them was evident. Hermione did not respond to his attempts; he noticed that her eyes were puffed up as though she was crying herself to sleep these days, or not sleeping at all.
And yet, the engagement had not been called off by her, so she had not yet decided to be with Riddle. Harry clung to that hope and sought her out whenever he could. He also talked with Ron, Neville and Luna. They assumed she was ashamed of her betrayal and were not too eager to assist.
One rainy day in early June, Harry left the common room to get a book from the class room. The corridor was deserted. Still, Harry thought he heard voices, and when he was level with the classroom door, it was opened from the inside. Ginny emerged, looking extremely put out about something. She did not notice him, as he was standing in the shade, unmoving, and he watched her walk away silently.
When he entered the classroom, it was empty.
***
The last days of June were exam time, and Harry got prepared like everyone else with little enthusiasm.
"I don't get it!" Ron was saying for the tenth time. "No matter how many times I go over this, the results are weird. I hate Maths!"
Neville laughed. Luna, on the other hand, put down her own book and kindly said, "You know, I think I have understood this. Let me explain it to you."
Ron looked for a second as though he might refuse. Harry rearranged his features into a serious grimace and nodded his approval. "Gotta give it a try, mate."
Thus, Ron moved his chair closer to Luna's, and together, they bent over the book. Luna started explaining in a low voice, accompanied by Ron's nods or confused looks.
As Harry watched the pair, he felt a sense of relief that had left him a long time ago. He glanced around the room. Tom Riddle was absent for some reason, probably skulking in the attic again; but Hermione was sitting in a corner, all by herself, poring over some thick volume.
Harry made up his mind, scribbled I need to talk to you into his book, got to his feet and walked towards her.
"Hermione?"
She ignored him. Calmly, he spoke to her.
"I don't mean to disturb you or anything, it's just that I don't understand this passage..."
And he shoved his book into her hands.
Her eyes widened.
His book was sent flying as she closed her own with a sharp thud. She was on her feet, her eyes blazing.
"Will you leave me alone already!"
And she stormed out of the common room, leaving him standing alone next to his book.
"Bad luck, Potter", yelled a boy Harry had hardly ever talked to.
"Oh, shut it", he returned and walked past Neville, who gaped at him, and Ron and Luna, who seemed not to have noticed anything, out of the common room.
He tracked her down at the shed. Obviously, she had decided to take a break from learning and go for a ride. Without talking to her, he grabbed a bicycle and waited until she had mounted hers. She set off at breakneck speed downhill, towards the village.
Naturally, he followed. He had everything to gain, after all.
He found her at the edge of a forest beyond the village. She had dismounted her bike and was sitting on the grass, panting slightly. Her eyes narrowed slightly at the sight of him.
"I want to know", he said, "why you are avoiding me."
To his surprise, she grabbed his arm and pulled him down next to her.
And then, she hugged him, clinging to him as though her life depended on it.
Startled, he resigned to caressing her head for the time being. He also had to wait for her sobs to subside.
"Hermione", he said softly.
She did not speak for a long time. The sun was already setting when she calmed down enough to sit up straight and look him into the face.
"Harry... don't hate me."
"Silly girl... why would I?"
It did not matter what Tom Riddle had said. Her face spoke volumes to him to reassure him. Surely, there was mingled trouble and confusion in her face. Her eyes were still full to the brim with the warmth he had known from her.
She was everything to him, and he told her as much.
"I missed you so terribly."
"I missed you too", she said, her eyes shining with tears. "I couldn't say anything with him around."
"Don't talk about him now..."
"But I must!" she said, her face very white. "Harry, oh Harry..."
And then, she wept again.
"He said..." Harry hesitated. Should he tell her the truth? "He said that you loved him and were with me because I resembled him."
Hermione laughed bitterly. "Oh no... You didn't believe that!"
She turned towards him. "Oh, you did believe him, you silly boy, of course you did... You are always having doubts about yourself."
His hand was trembling as it touched her face. He carefully stroked her warm skin.
"You still want to be with me?"
"I still want to be with you", she said quietly, snuggling herself into his arms.
"What has he done to you?" he said after a pause. He did not want to spoil the moment, and yet, questions needed asking.
She gazed into the distance, where the sun had almost completely disappeared.
"He came to me at night", she said finally.
"He... what?"
"No, he hasn't done anything to me", Hermione said calmly. "Still, it was horrible. His face was white, and his eyes, oh Harry, his eyes were red! I know now how horrible it must have been for you with him in the attic."
Harry said nothing. He only pulled her into a deeper embrace.
"And then he talked to me! You can't imagine... His voice was ever so sweet, and he had wonderful things to say. I shudder now... But then, I was fascinated. He laid my soul out before me. He told me about my innermost fears... Oh, he's clever... He made me tell him all sorts of things... And then..."
She covered her face with her hands, unable to speak for a while. Harry waited, stroking her hair gently.
"And then, he told me he was going to kill you, Harry, because there was no other way."
"Why is that?" Harry asked, sounding puzzled but at the same time concentrating on the wonderful girl now lying in his arms.
"It's because of your magic. I didn't understand all of it... He said you were natural enemies because of the power you possessed, which contradicted his. He had to eliminate you, or else, he would be vanquished by you."
"Why, though?" Harry asked. "I'd leave him alone if he'd just let me."
"I don't understand it either... oh, Harry, it's as though he's following some mad rules he's set up for himself."
Her voice was so full of fear, disgust and anguish; she had plainly declared Riddle's words about her feelings an outright lie.
"Quiet now."
"Why?"
"I want to kiss you."
"I'm not finished yet", she said breathlessly as their lips separated.
"There's more?"
"Well, yes. How should I put this to you..."
Harry felt a sense of dread grow in his stomach. "What is it?"
"He forbid me to come anywhere near you anymore, or else he might move to the attack."
"How could he?"
"I assented."
"I understand that."
"Oh, Harry, don't..."
"No, it's okay." He kissed her on the forehead. "Silly, silly girl... You were trying to protect me."
***
"What are we going to do now?"
She posed the question to him twice that night. The first time was under the starry sky, right before he pulled her to her feet and gently led the way through the village; the second time was a few minutes after he had collapsed on her in the bed that Alice and Sirius had previously shared.
The first time, he knew she expected no answer. The second time, he was too happy just lying next too her and feeling her warmth.
"We'll think about that tomorrow", he said and kissed her good-night. She curled up in his arms, smiling in spite of her fears.
Harry lay awake long afterwards, thinking about how many young people in the world were leading a carefree life; for one thing, they weren't orphaned, and secondly, they did not have some madman wanting to kill them. And yet, he was here with Hermione, and with every smile, gesture, kiss, every touch, they had assured each other of their love.
He would fight for it.
The answer that he had not been able to give her earlier came to him so clearly that he almost hit himself for not having thought about it earlier.
He bent over his woman and whispered in her ear.
"Don't worry. I love you."
She smiled in her sleep.
***
"We're going tonight", Harry scribbled in his textbook and passed it to Ron, who raised an eyebrow in surprise and gave him a fleeting thumbs-up the next moment. Luna was sitting next to Ron again, so she had also read the message. She smiled to show she had understood. Harry then walked over to Neville, who had lately taken to sitting with a girl called Lucy, and showed him the page.
Once that was cleared, he made his way through to Ginny, who, since her break-up with her too many male friends, had made a lot of admirers, and placed the book next to the one she was busy with. She considered him for a moment. He looked at her sternly, pleading silently with her. Finally, she nodded.
Tom Riddle was occupying the seat next to Hermione's. Harry had not reckoned on that. He expanded his message by, "Pass it on to Hermione" and showed the book once more to Luna. When he felt Tom Riddle's eyes on him, he looked up, grinning at his natural enemy. Riddle said something to Hermione, who giggled mirthlessly; her eyes met Harry's for the briefest instant, and he saw hers were full of pain.
It's for you, he thought as he scooped up his things. When this is over, we can finally be happy.
***
They assembled outside the entrance.
"Where's Hermione?" Harry asked Luna. It was Ginny who answered.
"Harry... I'm sorry. We were about to tell her when Riddle came to our room. She left with him and..."
"No!" Harry clenched his fists. "He hasn't!"
"Sorry", Ginny said quietly.
"It's not your fault!" Harry made a gesture to include both her and Luna. "I'm blaming myself, for not having gone much earlier! And that mad guy!"
Ron placed a hand on Harry's shoulder. "Look", he said sympathetically, "Hermione's a strong girl. She knows how to deal with him. We'll be back in no time, and then we can rescue your princess."
"Back?"
"Yeah... from the forest, mate."
"I'm not going!"
"What're you gonna do, then? Go and find Riddle? All by yourself? You know how that turned out last time."
Harry sighed heavily. "Look, Ron..."
"I know, mate. I know", Ron said in the quiet voice he normally employed to restore Ginny's calm.
It worked. Harry's heart was still throbbing madly in his chest, but he knew he had little choice. Tracking down Riddle at this time would put Hermione at risk.
"Let's go. That mad alchemist should know a way."
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Coming up: "The Final"
In which Harry and his companions have but five minutes.